My mom always said: if they are talking about someone else to you, they are talking about you to someone else. For you maybe your life is "boring" but for them it might be interesting
or (no ofense or hate towards you) they are trying to found something from you so they could take advantatge of it,used it agnist you or make a lie from something and bully you for it people like that are very conusingI had a friend like this too.. separate to the other friend I mentioned earlier. My friend would ask aload of really nosy questions and I actually do not know much about her life at all. I agree with the above poster, it’s like she wants to know information so she can pass it on. I feel the same way about “my friend” but it was only when my mom said it to me did it click. New eyes and all that.
I'm so sorry to hear this! It's the sort of thing you get when you're younger (I've made that mistake of boyfriend instead of friends but I was 16 lol), but when you get older you realise that you can't do that to your friends. Do you feel like you could talk to them about it? Perhaps a non-confrontational approach like "i miss you" and take it from there? I hope you're okay
I have tried several times. I kept getting the excuses of ‘I’m just really busy, my mental health is awful, I’ll make more of an effort’, and the effort never came.I'm so sorry to hear this! It's the sort of thing you get when you're younger (I've made that mistake of boyfriend instead of friends but I was 16 lol), but when you get older you realise that you can't do that to your friends. Do you feel like you could talk to them about it? Perhaps a non-confrontational approach like "i miss you" and take it from there? I hope you're okay
Im still young but i does scares that my children in futyre could find people like i did and fall for the same trap, or like my mom for stupid guys... lets hope it never happens to you, me and anybody from here
Update. I’ve deleted him off of everything. Keeping his presence active in any form isn’t going to help me heal, so it’s for the best. Just feels so tit, friend breakups can be worse than actual breakups sometimes.
Do you know if she's "friended" any of the other mums there before you? She sounds incredibly needy and exhausting. Especially talking at you when you're talking to your children, that's not right, it would all do my head in too. Sorry I don't have any advice - I had a friend like this at work who followed me around, my leaving do was especially bad as I never got to talk to anyone on my own as she was always right next to meI had developed new friendship that was fine but has quickly got out of hand.
She is a mum at the school and we swapped numbers during the lockdown and would send messages about homeschooling etc which was nice. But then once the kids went back she started to piss me off.
She waits for me to get there and rushes straight over to see me, If I try to talk to someone else she comes right next to me, stares at me and listens and as soon as there is a break in the conversation she jumps straight in to talk to me , if I talk to my children she'll start talking to me whilst I'm talking to them or she'll just stare and listen in. She stares and watches everything I do (I tried walking around the playground with my son yesterday to get away from her and she stared at me the whole time).
I know it's petty but its doing my head in. I've started trying to time it so I get to school just as the doors open meaning I dont have to wait around, its like unwanted attention and she thinks she owns me or something. This has been going on for a long time.
This isn't the first time this has happened to me so I obviously create situations like this - what do I do
thank goodness I left that job (although that didn't stop it, even asking her to please not whatsapp me as my phone kept going off I felt so sick, I needed a break from anyone contacting me, I ended up turning my phone off for days. She emailed my personal email, my new work email, sent text messages and two handwritten letters of six sides of A4 each to my house) so ended up having to ghost her.Oh no thats awful, my situation is not quite as bad as yours, yes the thing is she does know other mums, I just seem to be her favourite. In fact she sometimes talks to other mums whilst also keeping an eye on me. I needed to tell my daughter's teacher something the other morning and she stood and watched and listened. Unfortunately I have another 4 years lol.Do you know if she's "friended" any of the other mums there before you? She sounds incredibly needy and exhausting. Especially talking at you when you're talking to your children, that's not right, it would all do my head in too. Sorry I don't have any advice - I had a friend like this at work who followed me around, my leaving do was especially bad as I never got to talk to anyone on my own as she was always right next to me
Have you got many years left of your children going to this school?
Can you immediately go up to other mums and strike up a conversation with them? That's so rude she listened in on your conversation with the teacher!
Yeah I do, but she comes along and interrupts. I will do that more though I think. Also sometimes I just want to be left alone and talk to my children. Her conversations are really boring too, I know thats mean but they are.
I think sometimes its just a case of being cruel to be kind. Maybe next time she tries to listen in your convos, especially with your children just pull her to one side and just say.. back off. Obviously don't do it in a way that will hurt her but maybe just say, this is getting too much and it might kick her in to gear a little bit. I think most of us have been in situations like this, I can definitely relate, the friend I had was so jealous of my boyfriend when we first got together that she went around telling people that I know he beats me up. Then when I blocked her she constantly made new accounts on everything!
Thanks, ive decided when I see her ill say hi and then 'its nice to see you, I'm just going to stand over there with my kids now'. If she ignores that I'll definitely be telling her to back off x
Give us an update on how it goes! x
If she's doing that then see if you can speak to your daughters teacher about it too. Just so they are aware as it could be a safeguarding issue if you don't want her listening in.
