Toddler advice thread

[WhatABore]

Soz in advance for the mumsnet length of this question and the answer is probably really obvious but we are STRUGGLING with our 2 year old and bed time. He could be the most tired human on earth and he’ll still piss around for hours before going to sleep (Mr Sailor has cooked us a lovely romantic meal tonight and we ended up eating at 9:30 because he took so long to settle despite getting him bathed etc and in bed by 7:30)!

We have cut back his nap to 1-1.5 hours ending at 3pm and no later, he has to have a nap otherwise his night time sleep is atrocious and his day time attitude is ratty as hell from about 1pm onwards. He has no screens easily from about 4pm, tbh probably earlier if any at all if we’re out all day. No sugary snacks/anything that I’d say would make him hyperactive, especially in the evening. We attempt to wear him out as much as possible with a couple of hours of fresh air at least in the day, keeping him stimulated etc. It’s not even a case of him going to bed too early, he usually wakes for the day anytime from 7 onwards and he is usually “knackered” by 6 so we start bedtime then.

Our routine is:
5pm - dinner
6pm - up to bed, bit of playtime while I get everything sorted for bed, bath, book, listen to a short audiobook in bed, then bedtime meditation/mindfulness on the yoto box, then lights out and sleep time

My eldest goes to bed beautifully but my 2yo is just standing up, throwing his duvet covers off, trying to get out of bed, jumping up and down trying to wake his brother up etc etc. HEEEEELP! We’ve just had a baby so sorting him one handed his tricky as. Any advice pls help

Only thing I would suggest is moving his nap back and limiting to an hour.

That's the only thing that worked with my first when he napped.
Had to have nap around lunch and a maximum of an hour. I was very strict about it

We had to introduce the gro clock too to keep him in bed.
It took a looooot of patience but eventually he stopped getting out of bed and messing around

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Soz in advance for the mumsnet length of this question and the answer is probably really obvious but we are STRUGGLING with our 2 year old and bed time. He could be the most tired human on earth and he’ll still piss around for hours before going to sleep (Mr Sailor has cooked us a lovely romantic meal tonight and we ended up eating at 9:30 because he took so long to settle despite getting him bathed etc and in bed by 7:30)!

We have cut back his nap to 1-1.5 hours ending at 3pm and no later, he has to have a nap otherwise his night time sleep is atrocious and his day time attitude is ratty as hell from about 1pm onwards. He has no screens easily from about 4pm, tbh probably earlier if any at all if we’re out all day. No sugary snacks/anything that I’d say would make him hyperactive, especially in the evening. We attempt to wear him out as much as possible with a couple of hours of fresh air at least in the day, keeping him stimulated etc. It’s not even a case of him going to bed too early, he usually wakes for the day anytime from 7 onwards and he is usually “knackered” by 6 so we start bedtime then.

Our routine is:
5pm - dinner
6pm - up to bed, bit of playtime while I get everything sorted for bed, bath, book, listen to a short audiobook in bed, then bedtime meditation/mindfulness on the yoto box, then lights out and sleep time

My eldest goes to bed beautifully but my 2yo is just standing up, throwing his duvet covers off, trying to get out of bed, jumping up and down trying to wake his brother up etc etc. HEEEEELP! We’ve just had a baby so sorting him one handed his tricky as. Any advice pls help

I think the nap is too late in the day. If he’s sleeping until 3pm I think that’s a problem. Either move the nap to late morning she’s he’s awake again by 1pm or just drop the nap and moved bedtime earlier? I’d also try to cut out a lot of the stuff from 6pm. Just take him for a bath at 6.45pm, a quick bath, then into jammies and into bed for a short story or whatever and then sleep. I think he’s probably not really winding down as you approach bedtime and he’s still wanting to play plus I don’t think he can be that tired if he’s only been awake a few hours after his nap.

 

[Jellybean093]

@Sailorontheseasea

i 100% agree with not letting him sleep past 2pm. We have to do the same with our 2 year old otherwise he will, like yours, be up until 9/9.30. In his cot, not moaning, but awake. Sometimes, him and my 5 year old will chat for hours, but that’s the older one being a pain
We have always used white noise with him also, maybe try that?

 

[saltandvinegarcrisps]

I'd cut the nap back to 30 mins 45 max. Sounds like he's not tired, plus if you have just had a baby then he maybe feels like he's missing out. Can your husband not take baby while you read him a story n have some 121 time? I'd just be persistent, story, lights out , keep putting him back to bed, tell him he needs a good rest so he has lots of energy for xyz fun things he's doing the next day. We dropped nap by 2 n moved to toddler bed n it sorted itself out. Had quiet time rather than nap time for a while, I'd always dread if he slept later than 2pm from 18m as knew it meant a later / struggle at bedtime. What about a tonie box so he can listen to a story himself in bed to wind down? My son loves his.

 

[Justwannaseescreenshots]

I feel like our timings are quite similar so napping until 4 in some cases for us he still goes to bed at 7 and usually is fine. I find that we transition quickly from living area we do dinner chill time teeth and then go to bedroom at about 6:45 so no story or anything we just go in he climbs up into bed head on pillow and pulls the cover over him. I then turn the light off and climb the other side of him and breastfeed baby on the other side of me and just lie there until they both fall asleep - usually takes anywhere between 10 minutes and 30 mins. However there are occasions maybe once a week it can take up to an hour. But then I move baby to other room and they both sleep through.
To note also that 2 year old sleeps in one room with my partner with a double bed and open side cot so bedsharing basically and my partner goes to bed later on. Baby sleeps in a super kingsize bed with me in the other bedroom. But we all get great sleep this way and my 2 year old never wakes up unless he’s feeling ill.

 

[Pinkii]

Soz in advance for the mumsnet length of this question and the answer is probably really obvious but we are STRUGGLING with our 2 year old and bed time. He could be the most tired human on earth and he’ll still piss around for hours before going to sleep (Mr Sailor has cooked us a lovely romantic meal tonight and we ended up eating at 9:30 because he took so long to settle despite getting him bathed etc and in bed by 7:30)!

We have cut back his nap to 1-1.5 hours ending at 3pm and no later, he has to have a nap otherwise his night time sleep is atrocious and his day time attitude is ratty as hell from about 1pm onwards. He has no screens easily from about 4pm, tbh probably earlier if any at all if we’re out all day. No sugary snacks/anything that I’d say would make him hyperactive, especially in the evening. We attempt to wear him out as much as possible with a couple of hours of fresh air at least in the day, keeping him stimulated etc. It’s not even a case of him going to bed too early, he usually wakes for the day anytime from 7 onwards and he is usually “knackered” by 6 so we start bedtime then.

Our routine is:
5pm - dinner
6pm - up to bed, bit of playtime while I get everything sorted for bed, bath, book, listen to a short audiobook in bed, then bedtime meditation/mindfulness on the yoto box, then lights out and sleep time

My eldest goes to bed beautifully but my 2yo is just standing up, throwing his duvet covers off, trying to get out of bed, jumping up and down trying to wake his brother up etc etc. HEEEEELP! We’ve just had a baby so sorting him one handed his tricky as. Any advice pls help

How does he sleep once he has gone down?

i know you say his sleep is atrocious if he doesn’t nap, but by 2 I think they need to not have daily naps

there is a difficult transition period between dropping naps and bedtime but once in a routine it shouldn’t be too bad.

If you do need to keep the nap, definitely move it earlier and keep it to 1 hour max I would say.

hope you find a solution soon, its so tough when you just want your chilled evenings

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

Ok guys and gals I will not try the nap earlier in the day and see how it goes. He’s just never tired at 12/1 unless he gets up super early my eldest dropped the nap at 2 but he’s generally a good sleeper and it didn’t affect him at all. My 2yo is a terrible sleeper and has been since birth, he suffers with breathing and feeding problems so it could all just be connected to that (my partner thinks he doesn’t want to go to sleep because he can’t breathe properly ) but for some reason when he doesn’t nap he wakes up hourly, I think his brain is just wired. At this rate I’m going to have him running laps round the garden at 6:30

He was doing this pre-baby so I’m almost certain it isn’t that but unfortunately I’m having a really awful time with recovery so keeping everything chilled in the evening is important at the moment as I literally physically cannot be fighting him into bed for 2/3 hours don’t have the abdominal muscles currently also my partner works until late in the day so handing over the baby isn’t really an option but luckily he goes down without a hitch so far so he’s generally not involved in bedtime at the minute so I can have 1:1 with my older two

Thank you lovely people xx

 

[Definitelyme]

@Sailorontheseasea different idea…. Is he over tired? You said he’s exhausted by 6pm, is he maybe over tired and then struggling to wind down?
My kids have all napped until at least 3, so I would definitely keep the nap, maybe play with timings, but I would also try and see if a quieter afternoon means he’s less over tired and may settle more easily.

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

@Sailorontheseasea different idea…. Is he over tired? You said he’s exhausted by 6pm, is he maybe over tired and then struggling to wind down?
My kids have all napped until at least 3, so I would definitely keep the nap, maybe play with timings, but I would also try and see if a quieter afternoon means he’s less over tired and may settle more easily.

I did think this too! He gets tired after dinner then suddenly he’s completely wired again so I think if he’s showing tired signs later earlier then I’ll try and get him to sleep earlier - easier said than done though isn’t it thanks lovely xx

 

[Definitelyme]

I did think this too! He gets tired after dinner then suddenly he’s completely wired again so I think if he’s showing tired signs later earlier then I’ll try and get him to sleep earlier - easier said than done though isn’t it thanks lovely xx

So much easier said than done, especially when you’re juggling multiple kids at bedtime

 

[Wishwash]

Soz in advance for the mumsnet length of this question and the answer is probably really obvious but we are STRUGGLING with our 2 year old and bed time. He could be the most tired human on earth and he’ll still piss around for hours before going to sleep (Mr Sailor has cooked us a lovely romantic meal tonight and we ended up eating at 9:30 because he took so long to settle despite getting him bathed etc and in bed by 7:30)!

We have cut back his nap to 1-1.5 hours ending at 3pm and no later, he has to have a nap otherwise his night time sleep is atrocious and his day time attitude is ratty as hell from about 1pm onwards. He has no screens easily from about 4pm, tbh probably earlier if any at all if we’re out all day. No sugary snacks/anything that I’d say would make him hyperactive, especially in the evening. We attempt to wear him out as much as possible with a couple of hours of fresh air at least in the day, keeping him stimulated etc. It’s not even a case of him going to bed too early, he usually wakes for the day anytime from 7 onwards and he is usually “knackered” by 6 so we start bedtime then.

Our routine is:
5pm - dinner
6pm - up to bed, bit of playtime while I get everything sorted for bed, bath, book, listen to a short audiobook in bed, then bedtime meditation/mindfulness on the yoto box, then lights out and sleep time

My eldest goes to bed beautifully but my 2yo is just standing up, throwing his duvet covers off, trying to get out of bed, jumping up and down trying to wake his brother up etc etc. HEEEEELP! We’ve just had a baby so sorting him one handed his tricky as. Any advice pls help

I agree on capping the nap and finishing it before 2pm. Also maybe limiting it to no more than 90 minutes? By the time my son was two years 4 months I was capping the nap at an hour, he's not two years 6 months and has completely dropped it. Does he wake really early?

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

I agree on capping the nap and finishing it before 2pm. Also maybe limiting it to no more than 90 minutes? By the time my son was two years 4 months I was capping the nap at an hour, he's not two years 6 months and has completely dropped it. Does he wake really early?

We did an hour today until 2 and he went to sleep without pissing about (rejoice) but we were at my mums until 8 so I’ll reserve my judgement! He doesn’t wake early at all, if anything quite late for a toddler anywhere between 7:30-8:30 and is actually really difficult to wake up when you need to! My eldest was a similar age to yours when he dropped the nap completely so maybe it’s on the horizon….

 

[Wishwash]

Hi everyone,

Does anyone have advice on helping to teach a very boisterous 2 year old boy on how to walk alongside me safely?

My son is exactly 2.5 years and I am having to use reins, or the pram still with him as I absolutely cannot trust him to walk alongside me safely. He will bolt, and refuses to hold my hand. Doesn't seem to retain any concept of road safety.
I've got a small baby too, who I'm currently putting in a sling so I can use the pram for my son. This makes it even more difficult as the sling means if he does bolt I struggle to run after him! Any tips?
Am I expecting too much? I see similar aged and younger walking alongside their parents, but he just won't do it.
He is smart for his age, and his language is very developed but there is no reasoning with him at all

 

[Definitelyme]

Hi everyone,

Does anyone have advice on helping to teach a very boisterous 2 year old boy on how to walk alongside me safely?

My son is exactly 2.5 years and I am having to use reins, or the pram still with him as I absolutely cannot trust him to walk alongside me safely. He will bolt, and refuses to hold my hand. Doesn't seem to retain any concept of road safety.
I've got a small baby too, who I'm currently putting in a sling so I can use the pram for my son. This makes it even more difficult as the sling means if he does bolt I struggle to run after him! Any tips?
Am I expecting too much? I see similar aged and younger walking alongside their parents, but he just won't do it.
He is smart for his age, and his language is very developed but there is no reasoning with him at all

I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all at that age to expect them to listen to what you ask.
Personally, I would try not to walk with him in busy places where possible. Make sure he is getting lots of “free running“ in at the park etc, and reinforce constantly that when you leave he must listen. If he doesn’t want to hold hands have a word that makes him stop asap, too much talk or too many words will just be shut out (we live in the country and for us we just shout CAR when one is coming, and all our kids have known to stop and stand in straight away, but obvs will be very different if you live in a town). If he continues not listening to that, pop him in the buggy along the busy areas and let him loose in the quieter areas. AT that age I don’t think that there is any reasoning about road safety, it’s too much of an abstract concept for them.

 

[Wishwash]

Thanks @Definitelyme I think it's difficult as I live in a city and there just doesn't seem to be any quiet roads in proximity we do go to the park where I let him off the lead (lol) but his recall isn't very good there either

It drives me nuts - he will even bolt from my doorstep when I'm trying to get my key in the door so I know he's partly looking for a reaction!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Thanks @Definitelyme I think it's difficult as I live in a city and there just doesn't seem to be any quiet roads in proximity we do go to the park where I let him off the lead (lol) but his recall isn't very good there either

It drives me nuts - he will even bolt from my doorstep when I'm trying to get my key in the door so I know he's partly looking for a reaction!

Keep him on the reins but wrap it around your arm so there’s no length to it. Grab his hand. If he pulls his hand away from you or struggles then drop his hand but keep him on a short rein but don’t make an issue out of it at all. He’s doing it for the reaction. He will grow out of it eventually but for now, don’t stress about it, do what you need to do to keep him safe (keeping him on the reins) but don’t allow it to become an issue because otherwise he will just enjoy the game of getting your reaction. I think he’s too young to fully understand the concept of road safety so don’t worry too much about teaching him about that but just keep telling him that we walk on the pavement to stay safe and that the road is for cars and it’s dangerous and we don’t go on the road.

 

[GlennCoco]

I used to pick MiniGlenCoco up when she runs off, maybe not ideal if you have the baby in a sling but I tell her that if she runs off in busy places or where there are cars then I have to pick her up because she isn't being safe. I explained that if she runs off and gets in the way of a car then it will really hurt and Mummy is just keeping her safe by keeping hold of her hand. If she kicks off I am pretty harsh in that I don't entertain her at all apart from explaining the above and that if she can't keep herself safe then I have to by picking her up. She hates being picked up (unless on her terms) so it works well for us

 

[nurseren]

Just to be awkward @Sailorontheseasea, littlepotato napped until he was nearly 4. However if we went past the 3pm mark, bedtime suddenly became 9pm. This wasn’t too bad when I was at work as I could put him to bed when I got home but on days off… yikes. Also littlepotato hated being woken up. About 1415-1430 I’d open his door, hoover, “bang about” a bit and he would wake up by himself. We do quiet time now; all potatoes in the family sulk off to bed around 1pm to be quiet and it works as downtime. I love quiet time so much that I used it on my HDU to let patients rest!

We still use the groclock now but at first littlepotato didn’t get it. Then I’d go “when it’s blue what do we do?” (We sleep!) and “when it’s sunny we….?” (Come and find mummy!) and it clicked.

 

[Justwannaseescreenshots]

Thanks @Definitelyme I think it's difficult as I live in a city and there just doesn't seem to be any quiet roads in proximity we do go to the park where I let him off the lead (lol) but his recall isn't very good there either

It drives me nuts - he will even bolt from my doorstep when I'm trying to get my key in the door so I know he's partly looking for a reaction!

Our sons sound exactly the same other than the speaking part - my son is 2 years and 3 months and no words just sounds so very delayed. He is a freedom fighter though lol he will dart as soon as I let him off the leash but we live along a canal so he has learnt to walk along the path and I think he’s aware that he really doesn’t want to fall in the water but he loves to throw stones and sticks in it.
I do what has already been mentioned above and let him run wild in the parks and recreation grounds and then when we are walking home I put the reins back on and tbh he usually wants to be carried then so I put him in the buggy - I too have a baby (7 months) who I put in the carrier so I understand your struggle.
I invested in a second hand double buggy off fb marketplace and it’s been a life saver so if you’ve got the room I would maybe get a cheap one. I always thought I’d never be that mum that carts round a double but it really makes it easier and for where we live it’s very diverse so although we’re along a canal we are in London so it can be busy and being able to pop them both in and wheel them about is handy and I’m not breaking my back!!

 

[Lilykins]

Does anyone have any good toddler recipe books to recommend? I pull out my hair regularly at how little interested in food my little girl is and i struggle to know what to give her. I’m running low on ideas of things she will actually eat!!!