Toddler Advice Thread #6 Christmas is coming, as are the illnesses

[ImDavidBrent]

me after putting my toddler to bed, patiently waiting in the next room for them to go to sleep so I can go and have a nice evening get on with all the fun jobs left to do.

 

[Upintheair83]

Just needed a safe place to come and get my feelings out. My little boy is 2.5- he's speech delayed so we have a lot tantrums. I live an hour away from my family and friends, the house is currently up for sale. We did have a buyer and found the perfect house near my family. However 6 weeks in the buyer pulled out. I am absolutely devastated! I long to be near my family just for a bit of help with my boy. I don't mean fob them off with him, I just mean abit of support, popping round most days to see them. But since the buyer pulled out iv been so low. My partner js away for 5 weeks too, so I feel alone and isolated. I feel like I'm constantly being touched and grabbed, i hear mamma every 5 seconds. I'm trying to now keep the house nice for viewings which I almost impossible with a toddler. I don't have time to do anything, I just play all day long with him. Then when I give him his ipad I feel so guilty. I just feel so overwhelmed at the moment, I love being a mum but I'm finding this really hard. Even at night he's crying for me.
I don't know what in trying to say, I'm not even looking for a response I just needed to get it out.

 

[watermelon sugar]

Sympathising with everyone on this thread re illness. We’ve had two weeks of no sickness been sick with everything under the sun since mid August so the break is welcome.

I’ve been off work so much since returning from mat leave and been called to pick him up early from nursery several times. Last week he’d bumped his head badly so they wanted a parent to observe him. It makes you feel a bit unreliable doesn’t it

My sons nursery ring me over the silliest of things they rang me once cos he was ‘sulking’

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I’ve got a 2 year old that still doesn’t sleep through the night and still sleeps in my bed. I dunno if there’s any advice for me but I just need to moan

My now 11 year old, slept with me till he was about 6.
We co slept from birth, then from 3-6 he’d start the first part of the night in his bed and come in with me anytime after 10pm.
I have no advice, because I co sleep with the twins and they’re 3 soon & they still don’t sleep through.

but I will say cherish it, the nights are long and the bruises are real, but I really do miss snuggling in with my eldest in the small hours!

 

[PillowsofFluff]

We have a Tonie. We don't use it for bedtime but my 4 year old likes putting stories on during the day and pretending her teddies are listening to it

Having a really rubbish time of things mental health wise at the moment. Said 4 year old is on her 2nd cold virus of the year and the coughing is NON STOP. I mean, really. Every 10-15 seconds. Gearing myself up for a few nights of zero sleep and wishing she didn't catch everything under the sun. Not sure if it's related but she's back to not eating at childcare again, eating fine at home though. Had a referral to ENT in the summer, still not heard anything. Supposed to be going out for our anniversary on Saturday, had to cancel the restaurant because no one will babysit her when she's got a cold/cough as they know they'll get no sleep.

Just all in all, a bit fed up with everything. I know it'll pass but God I hate being a mum sometimes

 

[aggytha]

Completely personal preference, but I’d recommend the Chickenpox vaccine to anyone! We got it for our little one when she turned 1, £150 for two doses at a local Boots.

Apparently the NHS have recently been recommended by the JCVI that it goes onto the childhood vaccination programme, so it might eventually become a standard thing here like it is in many other countries.

 

[loveanatter]

I have a soon to be 3 year old (bloody hell, where has that time gone?)
I’m just trying to think about when he just turned 2, and what he was like…I can remember his behaviour changing and sleep changing but he’s literally a different kid. He’s started throwing his clothes on the floor when it’s time to get dressed, throw toys, say no ALOT, and just generally be hard work with things. He’s started waking up multiple times in the night, more than when he was a newborn. But it’s not everyday, some days he’s a dream and I love being with him but I’m a full time working mum so when some of my days off are spent dreading if he’s gonna be the devil child today is exhausting! When I went back to work after maternity leave, my colleagues would say ‘I come to work for a break’ I used to hate that, I didn’t have to work I’d be at home in a heartbeat everyday. But such is the modern world…
But those thoughts have started to creep in, like today I have work and I’m really looking forward to the drive in where I can listen to my music instead of wheels on the bus, I can have a hot coffee that hasn’t got some sort of Lego piece floating in it I just hate that I feel like this sometimes because the boy is my absolute world, he’s my little IVF miracle and I feel awful saying these things but I wake up on my days off and dread how he’s going to be and how il manage him all day. It’s so exhausting!
I’d love a sibling for him, but IVF treatment is ridiculous and I can’t fund it right now, or ever tbh. So it looks likely he’ll be an only child.
I often think even if I did have another one, how would I cope with 2. A new born and my son being like this, I mean, hats off to those who do it, you’re all hero’s!!
It’s hardwork being a mum, a wife and working in a busy A&E department looking after people…

I feel you! My first was just like this & my baby is the same personality and so think I’ll be going through it again my middle one has always been a dream and I’d have more if I could have more of him!
But I always think that the personality that makes them hard (eg know their own mind) isnt bad for when they’re older. Doesn’t make life easier now but they’re not always the worst qualities for being older! Xx

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

I’ve never used a float vest other than at Centerparcs - is she past the age of a puddle jumper?
We an inbuilt float one from splash suit but it was a few years ago now, not sure if there’s better options around now x

She uses the arm bands which I think is a bit safer than the puddle jumpers but im not sure. I’ve tried to google but it all says any floatation device isn’t safe as keeps them in the vertical position so who knows!!
---

Christmas holidays has really sent my child west. She started hitting, not wanting to get dressed, a fight to even get her to put her coat on.
Shes really changed in general, her new thing is to ask me what I’m doing 100000 times a minute haha.
If the sticker thing is working for you, go for it!

Same for us. We have a new thing of not wearing a jumper or a coat as it’s itchy. Apparently she doesn’t feel the cold as she is Elsa. She tells me this so sincerely and emotionally all with blue lips (we were inside in a community hall stay and play today and it was freezing!)

 

[Fruitgums]

Ah thank you! It's my first so honestly not sure where to start! I think I'll just buy a potty and figure out where to go from there haha!

You basically spend your whole day going "do you need a pee?" Over and over with an occasional "have you done a pee in your pants?" And running to the toilet 🫠

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Ended up in A&E on Friday with toddler gravy....to not even be seen. We spent 12 hours there. She seemed so much better on the Saturday and Sunday and yesterday and today has just plummeted again.

Please someone tell me when all these nursery bugs start to settle. She's been there since August and I genuinely think there has been 2 weeks she's been okay. I'm honestly going to get sacked at this rate

 

[Hairraiser]

First day off spent with my 3 year old today. And I’ve cried 3 times. He’s been awful, crying at anything I ask him to do, we had to stay in till about 1 ish to have our washing machine fixed but I gave him my full attention and played on the floor with him. But once they’d gone he just turned, he has been a complete nightmare, he had a 2 hour meltdown ! Kept asking to go out, then come home, then go out then come home. I was losing the will to live.
I work full time and look forward to my days off with him but not after today, I’m dreading tomorrow now I’ve had to come upstairs and unwind away from him and his daddy while they play. Just need time to reflect I guess.
God this parenting is bloody hardwork! I’d literally die for that kid but he has driven me absolutely insane today.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Been in and out of doctors, hospitals with my little girl the last few weeks. She's not eaten properly for ages and keeps vomiting on and off. Saw another different doctor today who said she's impacted and needs clearing out... I'm not convinced but I have no fight left in me to suggest otherwise

You’ll be surprised what impaction does, she very well could be.
my daughter lives permanently constipated and at it’s worst she runs a high fever, won’t eat or drink and vomits day and night because of how backed up she is, her bowels and intestines put pressure on her stomach and the remaining contents come out.

 

[asunder]

Has anyone had an experience with a clingy toddler whilst pregnant? My son is 4 end of Feb (I know he’s not really a toddler anymore) and I’m due in May - he’s just so clingy, won’t leave my side, when we’re sat on the couch together he’s practically sat on top of me, been begging to sleep in my bed every night. If he’s eating his dinner he wants me to sit with him, he follows me everywhere I go, won’t even entertain his Dad! I like it in a way, but worried when baby is here he will really take it hard the attention isn’t fully on him??

Someone once told me that when you’ve got a new baby and a toddler and they’re both crying for your attention at the same time you should make a show of telling the baby to wait like “just I minute I’m just doing x for big brother first…”. As obv the baby won’t remember having to wait a few mins for a feed etc, but your toddler will likely have a strop if he has to wait. I’m not sure if it works haha but we did it a few times and possibly avoided some total meltdowns.

Also, a sling/baby carrier so you can still play with big bro and have baby on you.

 

[ElektraWintour]

My daughter turned 4 last month and has turned into the devil. I miss my sweet girl. I’ve turned into the shouty mum I never wanted to be

 

[loveanatter]

Has anyone got any advice on how to get my 3 year old to give up his dummy? Short of going cold turkey, I'm not sure what to do. Also any advice for nighttime potty training would be appreciated. He's such a deep sleeper I'm not sure what the best options are.

Mine were both 3 when they gave them up and left them for Father Christmas (idea from nursery!) and it worked well. He left them a special present for the dummies and they didn’t really ask for one again. If they did, we just reminded them and they were fine!
I just waited til they were dry at night (encouraged going to the toilet before bed etc) as it’s hormone related and I didn’t them to be upset for wetting the bed, if it’s out of their control. I’d say they were dry shortly before turning 4 x

 

[Hairraiser]

I have a soon to be 3 year old (bloody hell, where has that time gone?)
I’m just trying to think about when he just turned 2, and what he was like…I can remember his behaviour changing and sleep changing but he’s literally a different kid. He’s started throwing his clothes on the floor when it’s time to get dressed, throw toys, say no ALOT, and just generally be hard work with things. He’s started waking up multiple times in the night, more than when he was a newborn. But it’s not everyday, some days he’s a dream and I love being with him but I’m a full time working mum so when some of my days off are spent dreading if he’s gonna be the devil child today is exhausting! When I went back to work after maternity leave, my colleagues would say ‘I come to work for a break’ I used to hate that, I didn’t have to work I’d be at home in a heartbeat everyday. But such is the modern world…
But those thoughts have started to creep in, like today I have work and I’m really looking forward to the drive in where I can listen to my music instead of wheels on the bus, I can have a hot coffee that hasn’t got some sort of Lego piece floating in it I just hate that I feel like this sometimes because the boy is my absolute world, he’s my little IVF miracle and I feel awful saying these things but I wake up on my days off and dread how he’s going to be and how il manage him all day. It’s so exhausting!
I’d love a sibling for him, but IVF treatment is ridiculous and I can’t fund it right now, or ever tbh. So it looks likely he’ll be an only child.
I often think even if I did have another one, how would I cope with 2. A new born and my son being like this, I mean, hats off to those who do it, you’re all hero’s!!
It’s hardwork being a mum, a wife and working in a busy A&E department looking after people…

 

[Jellybean093]

My son came home from nursery today with a big red bite mark on his leg. They informed me on the phone beforehand but I am just concerned that they said they didn’t see it happen. It was on his upper leg and it is soooo red. Seriously can’t imagine how that even happened and no one saw it. They just have had a good munch on his leg for it to be so red I don’t even know what to say. I know they can’t keep an eye on every single child every minute but I am sad today about this

While I know biting is just so horrible and the poor babies that are on the receiving end, as someone who used to work in a nursery it can happen so quickly. We had a biter and I remember I was cleaning one side of the room and the other worker was the side of the babies. In a split second the biter had got hold of the other kid and bit so hard. The scream I can also believe things happen and no one knows coz these kids are like lightening

 

[themuffinwoman]

Hi everyone, popping over from the new baby thread (although she’s 9.5 months ). I was wondering if I could get any reassurance or advice- my mat leave is coming to an end in 2 months and I’m having real trouble coming to terms with it and even the prospect of leaving her upsets me. There’s no way I can give up work, I’m going back 3 days initially then up to 4 in September. She’ll be at nursery and with my parents, I know nursery will be great for her and have no concerns about her being with my parents.
I’m so overwhelmingly sad maternity is coming to an end and it won’t be my “job” to be with her all the time. It obviously has to happen unless we win the lottery before March. Everyone says oh you’ll be thankful for the break and get to use your brain again and speak to adults etc etc but I don’t care. I don’t care about anything other than being with her, my job is interesting and important (I work with a load of dickheads but who doesn’t ) but I would give it up in a heartbeat if I could to be a SAHM.
Did anyone feel so strongly about not being away from their LO but it was ok going back? I just feel like I’ll be constantly sad Tuesday- Thursday.

 

[Jellybean093]

Like you I have the older children that never had it. Was it an easy decision for you to make to buy it despite never needing it before?!

Best decision I’ve made better than other things I’ve been influenced to buy

 

[PillowsofFluff]

Been in and out of doctors, hospitals with my little girl the last few weeks. She's not eaten properly for ages and keeps vomiting on and off. Saw another different doctor today who said she's impacted and needs clearing out... I'm not convinced but I have no fight left in me to suggest otherwise