Toddler Advice Thread #6 Christmas is coming, as are the illnesses

[~*~Jess~*~]

I am sorry to say I get a lot of reassurance from these posts - I don’t have any friends with babies so don’t know what’s ‘normal’ or what to expect. It seems like fussy eating is very common! So thanks to everyone for the posts they’re really helpful and also have some ideas to try

 

[watermelon sugar]

I’ve seen a few different posts recently from people saying that when they’ve taken their toddlers for their developmental reviews they’ve been told how amazing they’re doing and apparently been showered with compliments about their child and their parenting. And I can’t help but think surely HVs don’t do this?

Or am I just triggered because my HV doesn’t do this with me?

I’d take it with a pinch of salt. Some people just like to show off and act like their children are childhood geniuses

 

[Definitelyme]

I really recommend the book Body Happy Kids.
A few years ago my eldest mentioned being fat (and she is a tiny thing). It has some good detail on how to undo all that stuff we’ve been conditioned with and talk to kids in a healthy way

 

[I’mThankyou_]

What are you getting your toddlers for Christmas? My little guy is 3 and a half, all he’s asked for is a torch and a rocket ship Very lost on what to get him this year

My two have basically all of aldis wooden toy selection this year

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

I got our second place. There are lots of positives and the school run is easier but I’m still gutted.

 

[Definitelyme]

Anyone else have/had a velcro toddler?? Everytime I take my little one (17months) to a playgroup or class she just clings to me and winges the whole time! I really want to get her out and interacting with other kids but feel like it's so hard when she just wants me all the time, and keeps pointing to the door cos she wants to leave! Anyone else experienced this and have any advice?! I'm losing the will to live here!

All my kids have been like this at groups. They never wanted to leave my side. Some kids are natural watchers, they prefer to be observing others and interactions rather than taking part. At 17 months I wouldn’t expect a huge amount of interaction with others, maybe some parallel play but not much else.
For reference my current toddler will be 3 in April, and at the one group we go to (in a very familiar setting, with all familiar people) he doesn’t play with anyone, and stays with me the whole time. It can be soooooo frustrating. When you see other wee ones playing away without a care and you can’t get a second, and they seem to hate it. It’s not a fun experience. Tbh the only reason I go is because it’s in my church and I help set up etc. Otherwise I just wouldn’t bother as he doesn’t love it. So maybe just have a break from them and try again at a later time? No point in you both being miserable.

 

[~*~Jess~*~]

Mine is still having warm milk in a bottle before bed. We’ve tried morning milk in a cup (still warm) and he won’t entertain it. At least they’re still getting some milk down them, that’s my thinking anyway. Sick of these ‘guidelines’ they cause so much stress x

 

[ElektraWintour]

I was putting my 4yo in her car seat this morning and she randomly says ‘I hope I’m not too fat for my car seat’ I asked her where she heard that but she just said ‘I don’t know’. You try and shield your child from diet culture and it creeps in anyway

She also told me her friend at nursery told her she has to be good or the Easter bunny won’t bring her chocolate. I told her the Easter bunny wouldn’t punish children for having big feelings, yes I’m that parent

 

[amiallowedtoexpressmyview]

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore about my 3 yr olds sleep. Saturday she woke for the day at 3.45am and didn’t go back to sleep. Yesterday she was awake 3.15-4.45am and tonight I’ve been up with her since 1.45 and it’s 4.10. I work almost full time and she is in nursery. I don’t know how she is running on empty. If I leave the room she totally freaks out. She won’t sleep on my bed unless she’s in the mood to go back to sleep. I feel like such a failure of a mum.

Trust me you are definitely not a failure. Perhaps she is coming down with something?
what do you do when she wakes up? Does she still nap?
If you makes you feel better I’m sitting here replying crying as I have had the worst few days with my toddler. He won’t sleep in his own bed, the battles to get him back in his room are so bad I give up (I know it’s not what you’re meant to do) but when you’re shattered and in the middle of the night you just give in. He won’t be on his own in the day either. He has a meltdown if I’m in another room. I’m getting hit smacked and slapped on a daily basis.
honest the neighbours must think I’m close to the edge and about to murder him the reactions he gives to just getting dressed or getting in the car seat. Being a parent is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life!!

 

[Icbaaaa]

No one warns you how much harder the terrible 2s are the second time around! I'm almost in tears due to the way my toddler has been acting today

 

[watermelon sugar]

I’ve already had an email, my son got his first choice place made up

 

[Definitelyme]

OK so I didnt know whether to post here, but j feel more comfortable with you guys.
Basically I don't get on with my mother in law. My little boy is 2 and a half, he's not seen her that much in those couple of years because she just hates me so much.
She once took great offence once to a safeguarding text I sent, explaining how we were using the correct names for private parts, don't keep begging for kisses if he says no ,to encourage a good sense of consent, things like that etc. She's never liked me since I got pregnant but she does make abit of an effort with my son.
She's not seen him regularly but I think if she thought she could have alone time with him she would encourage that. She doesn't want to be part of our family unit put it that way.

But my relations with her came to a head the other night ,where she insulted me in the most awful way. As a result i told her to not come by the house anymore and that we will never get on. I had tried 3 different occasions to offer an olive branch for this last time for her to insult me instead of accepting my offer.
But I also don't want my son to suffer. He doesnt really have a relationship with her, he would never go to her or anything like that. He sees her as a familiar face but I'd say that's about it. But I'm stuck in a dilemma. I don't want to say no to seeing him because is that really fair? But then I feel she would brain wash him with her opinions of me. And that's what I'm scared of. Maybe not so much now but maybe as he gets older. What would you guys do?
Do I allow time with her? Do you think toddlers and young children pick up on peoples opinions of people? Would she turn him against me? Any advice would be greatly welcomed. I don't want to be cruel to my son or even her.

Things like this make me just so sure I’m going to try and be the nicest MIL ever.
I would see if your OH could take your son for supervised visits with MIL (monster in law) once or twice a month.

 

[calmyourritas]

Anyone else’s toddler being a proper fussy eater?
Mine used to eat everything under the sun. Now he won’t eat anything unless it’s bread related or a ‘ready meal’ (like Heinz etc - we use these on nursery days as I work late so don’t always get to eat together)

So far I’ve got a chicken curry and a roast dinner down him disguised in the bowl of a ready meal. But he won’t eat the bolognese I’ve put in one. It’s so frustrating!

This also means he doesn’t eat anything at nursery - until 3pm when they usually have a sandwich or pizza slices

Mine has always been fussy and will also only eat some bread related items , strawberries, yoghurt and ‘ready meals’. Most other stuff just gets pushed away or thrown on the floor instantly. She has just eaten a plum with her tea tonight and I’m buzzing about it! I’ve tried to stop worrying about it and just keep offering new things but also things I know she’ll eat.

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Everyone in my house has been ill for weeks with a virus and I’m so done. 4 year old has been screaming at me for days, partner is a miserable prick but still managed the pub two days in a row and now the 14 month old has just woken up and been sick everywhere. I’d booked a last minute reformer Pilates class earlier for tomorrow morning at 9am which I won’t be able to cancel now. Really hoping no one else is sick, we just had norovirus in January and it was hell.

 

[Rxt156]

I have decided no more naps. We are going cold turkey. This week my son (2yo) has only had 30 mins max each day and has been up till 9pm. It is absolutely killing me I have about an hour to myself each day once he’s gone to bed and it is not enough. I think I’m losing my mind. Today he’s had no nap and gone to bed 7.30pm🥹

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Does anyone have a Tonies box? Is it worth it? She's 2.5

The twins have one each (we thought they’d be able to share, that joke was on me)
And they love it.
every morning one sticks iggle Piggle on, the other puts their creative tonie on with their own music on and they just sing and dance along, gives me time to get sorted without any mither every day.

 

[Jellycat369]

Sometimes my almost 3yo doesn’t want to wear his, but I just remind him it’s in case a naughty wee wee sneaks out at night time and he likes that.
Poor wee fella, imagine being so hard on yourself when you’re only 2

I'm not sure where it's coming from either, it's not like me or my OH have said to him that it's bad if he wees in his nappy at night. I know that some of the kids in pre-school were being mean to him when he was first potty training, laughing at him if he had an accident. Maybe it ties back to that. He's such a sensitive wee soul, I wouldn't be surprised

 

[Jellybean093]

Preach

I pray for us daily

 

[themuffinwoman]

Sorry it's been so tough, we had it when my son first started and then every time he's moved room he cries at drop off for a few days. He started nursery the same week I went back to work which was terrible timing, he was upset, I was upset but it does pass. Think it got slightly easier every week and then finally stopped. Funnily he never cries when his dad dropped him off. Nursery helped me with it and encouraged positive chat like wonder what exciting things you'll be up to do, who you'll play with etc on the way in and then a quick bye. No ill miss you etc keep it all focused on the fun they'll have at nursery. He was defo more clingy as well but it's a huge change in their routine and he was seeking more connection from me when we were reunited. I used to make sure there was nothing needing done when we got back from collection like dinner was prepped etc so could just focus on time with him. Hope it passes soon x

We started nursery in January and yesterday and probably the day before was the first time he didn’t cry at all during drop off. I was actually kind of offended he’s excited to see me on pick up though which makes up for it. We’ve also had a few weeks of sickness/teething/bad sleep so it can never seem like the right time and it’s even more horrible leaving them when they are not fully themselves. My manager was great at work, she kept on checking in on me for the first couple of weeks asking how the drop offs were going as she remembers how hard it can be at times.

Once you have your little routine, hopefully mm starts to settle well so you both can look forward to the pick ups and precious time together which you miss whilst she’s at nursery. I too felt like you did in January.

Thanks, you’ve both helped me feel better. I just feel awful because I don’t really have support emotionally from anyone about it. My mum just offered to take her instead because “you don’t want her getting upset” but it’s been a week and it’s like no of course I bloody don’t but I think this is normal? I’m just so confused about what is normal. I’ve been chatting to the nursery staff and today they were singing and reading to her which she liked and when I picked her up she was happy to be in my arms then was smiling at them.
Everyone keeps saying “she’s really young” but she’s nearly 1 and I can’t just not work forever unfortunately… I might get my husband to take her next week for one of her sessions and see if she doesn’t cry when he hands her over. She’s gonna do 8-4 on Tuesday and I’ll ring up at lunchtime to see how she’s doing.
Sorry I’m just really upset about the whole thing, like what if she never gets used to it, what if it knocks her confidence, what if they’re lying and she’s always crying (I don’t have any reason to believe this- they sent photos of her smiling on Monday and when I picked her up she wasn’t crying). When I got her today they were so nice, I started crying and they seem keen to work with me and make sure she’s comfortable there but it’s just so hard. My mum didn’t leave me till I was 4 and I really wanted different for mini muffin because I think nursery can be such a good thing.

I can’t leave my dogs without getting upset and they don’t even cry (one visibly doesn’t want me to leave him but that’s different lol).

 

[asunder]

We did the same as others for the dummy. I just phased it out during the day for a few weeks, kept it out of sight, then got her to decorate a shoe box and we put the dummy inside it and on the front step one night and told her the dummy fairy would take it and leave her a present. She was all for it at first, then devastated when we got back upstairs. we had lots of cuddles and she eventually went to sleep, woke up got her pressie and that was that! She loves telling people about the dummy fairy coming to her house

oldest was never really bothered about her dummy, my father in law was looking after her one night while we were at a wedding during covid and he forgot to give her it, and she literally never mentioned it ever again.