Toddler advice thread #4

[strawberrysunshine_x]

We’re just going with the flow. He started the week he turned 3 like two weeks ago wearing underpants at nursery and was doing ok then we all got ill last week and we sort of gave up. He was off from nursery, back this week and they are trying him again but he’s still a bit off from being ill. I’ve got a week off in April for the easter hols i’m determined to master it then I just think they won’t be in nappies for ever so what’s the point in worrying. their ready when they are ready

I know it’s hard not to though. Especially when there is 2 year olds who’ve managed it at nursery. But I think he’ll be ok I’ve got the may half term off as well so can try then if we’re still in them. I’ll be glad when I don’t have to buy them tho anymore. He’s in pampers cos I can’t get any other size 8s and I want to cry each week at the price

 

[moimoi]

I was in a similar situation, my partners Uncle who see a lot is a proper judgemental dickhead. I was a sahm and he’d make comments about me just ‘relaxing at home’ ‘not paying my way in life’ bla bla bla. Asked me if I have a job yet everytime I seen him. I did get a job, I’m a healthcare assistant in a nursing home and when i told him i got a job he told me it weren’t a proper job dunno how that works cos a job is a job but it tipped me over the edge cos i’m proud of my job and what i do so i told him to fuck off and mind his own business he’s not said anything since. It may not be ideal to say exactly that but just stick up for yourself and say you are trying to do what is best for you and your child, and it’s non of their business. The right thing for you will come when it’s the right time. Good luck

I’m glad you told him to fuck off! Such twats!!! I feel like I need to do the same, not sure why I care so much about offending people when they’re offending and hurting me. And thank you!

 

[LilyRose1234]

For me - I knew mini A was ready when she would comfortably do a wee or a poo on the potty / toilet. I tried in august 2022 when she was 2.5 years old and it was a disaster, she kept weeing in her pants and it made her wee more! Anyway, I tried again in October and it was a breeze, I’ve found if it’s stressful they aren’t ready. She needed to understand fully that we do a wee and poo in potty and it’s taken till now for her to be consistently dry and use the toilet for a poo etc. Once they get used to the feeling of their bladder being full & the feeling of a poo that’s when it clicks properly and less accident occur.

We still use a pull up at night time though and she’s dry every morning, it hasn’t confused her in any way, I’d rather not just change sheets incase there the off chance she has a wee in her sleep!

I’d try her with some nappy free time and get her a potty and explain that we use potty for wee and poo and see how she gets on. Some people prefer to go straight to the toilet with a toddler seat and a step (we’ve got both as don’t have a downstairs toilet).

I wouldn’t rush it though or expect too much as in my eyes she’s still a baby and not even 2 years old yet. Mini A was confident at using her potty and I didn’t have to force it really, compared to in August when it was a disaster

Thank you! Oh I’m definitely not expecting it to click yet, she’s still a baby in my eyes too it just got me to thinking that now she’s starting to signal I had absolutely no idea how to even start!! I will probably start with a potty and nappy free time and go from there, if it works it works and if it doesn’t then we haven’t lost anything!

 

[LilyRose1234]

Does anyone have any tips for tackling cradle cap in an (almost) 2 year old? She’s got a fair amount of hair, although not loads, so I’m not sure the best way to deal with it. I used the Frieda cradle cap kit when she was a bald baby but not sure if it’ll work as well with hair?

 

[WhatABore]

We’ve gone haven hideaway rather than haven, we did haven (with entertainment etc) in April and she was exhausted at night, didn’t even make the entertainment at night but the weather was abit icky during the day so the indoor entertainment was ok when it was raining and swimming but in summer we don’t need it.

Although - we are going Primrose Valley for a second time next month and we’ve got Haven cos I got a good deal, but I’m not that bothered about the night time. She was the same on hol last month, asleep before 7pm every night cos she was shattered! I’m glad tho cos I’m tired too, it’s hard work for a week on my own sometimes I’m so tired by 8pm

We use Haven more of a base cos it’s cheaper than hotels and it’s got everything we need for cooking even tho we eat out for 2 teas! I don’t care about cooking it’s just easier than dealing with a fussy child

Which other havens have you been too? We’ve done: Golden Sands, Primrose, Hafan, Devon Cliffs, Presthaven. We are doing Primrose again next month then Church Farm! I do love a Haven hol, they’re fab for the price.

We've been to all of them near Primrose.
Blue Dolphin we stayed at last week which is about a mile up the road.
I don't like primrose as its so big!
Thornwick is just up the road from Primrose too and so is Reighton sands. Thornwick is a newish Haven so it's lovely! Although a bit smaller.
I always find primrose is more expensive than the others too!
We've just booked Thornwick for next year!

 

[al255]

None of my kids ever have
Or not for naps at least.
The older 2 we could leave the room and they'd go to sleep at night as long as they were drowsy but this time around, we can't leave or even put her in the cot if she's not in a deep sleep

my only child .. she was 2ish and I could leave the room. But some nights she wants me to lie next to her and that’s fine cos I like it too. It doesn’t last forever. I’d say one night a month she wants me to lie next to her but the rest of the time I say goodnight and get on with my night!

 

[Emzykins]

So, if they are no longer stretching it, then you will get less of your bill months apart from July/August?
You should be entitled to extra help with UC to help cover your bills. Are you getting this now to help pay for nursery?

Yes that's correct. I get the help from UC, but this is paid in arrears, meaning when it comes to August I will have to find the 1,180 outright as I don't get much back each month. I am just stuck on how to save that much with 1 wage. All other nurseries in the area stretch the 30 hours over the year, so you get no large bills like this

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

No need to apologise, I guess I see similarities with your friends child’s behaviour and mine. She can be aggressive by hitting, biting, throwing, has started to be rude, bossy and whiny. I see a little girl totally overwhelmed asking for help. But being on the outside looking in I can imagine it is overwhelming for you and your son. I wouldn’t allow my daughter unsupervised play time if she was being aggressive to her friends though, I would be there to intervene and stop that before it got to that point. Although that’s a bit rich as I wasn’t watching her when she pulled her aunts hair. My partner was but he isn’t as good at seeing it coming, don’t know why as it’s been months and she’s always been very easily overstimulated.
I couldn’t sleep last night because I felt angry about comments made by family and their expectations of a child in an adult situation. I guess I feel sad that other people will see my daughter’s behaviour and judge her and I guess also me.

Aww I’m sorry you couldn’t sleep. That isn’t nice. I would never say anything like that to them! Mine used to pull or grip onto us when we took him somewhere new he really didn’t like it. But he doesn’t do that now. But last time we went out for a family meal he didn’t even want to sit at the table so my other half kept taking him outside. Was she not comfortable being out with everyone. I can understand that.
But my friends was just having a tantrum cos they’d told her no not because she was over whelmed. I was outside with them when she pulled his hood and I said to her be nice and her mum was inside changing the baby’s nappy and she said what’s she doing and when I told her she just laughed! they both just laughed it off and said she’s so bossy.
Maybe I’m just being over protective because he can’t stand up for himself properly

 

[al255]

Oh, you have got me all confused I’be never had to do the 30 hours over 52 weeks as mine have always gone to preschool, so have only gone term time, and I’ve been lucky to not pay for any extra food etc. my friends boy goes 2.5 or 3 days a week, and they still have to pay £200(I think) for the term even though he gets free hours because of the supplements

Yeah I think it’s the added extras that bump it up but they just don’t disclose that from what I gather the free hours are only 9-3 anyway. Roll on school next year!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Mr3 suddenly got scared of the vaccuum recently. It came out of nowhere. He doesn’t like my hair dryer either so I thought maybe it was the noise … but I’ve made a game out of it. So I get him to “help” with the vacuuming and he helps me push it around, and I get him to “help” me dry my hair and I think that’s working.
I feel terrible when I forget and just turn them on though! He’s much better when I give him some warning so he can cover his ears or run down the hallway

Usually he’s fine with my hair dryer like I’ve blown it on his hair at the front before and he always thinks it’s funny. The full blast did sound a bit loud

 

[WhatABore]

Has anyone got any experience of dyspraxia in their children?

My 3yo daughter is so clumsy can literally trip over thin air and I know it’s somewhat normal with toddlers but I got the thought in my head, looked it up and she ticks off so many of the symptoms. I see the nhs site says it can’t be diagnosed until past 5 so nothing I can do for now but wondering if anyone else had experience of it.

I don't have experience with my own child, but I grew up with my step brother who had it
Not sure if I can help

 

[Kit123]

Me! I’m a single parent too and I would highly recommend doing stay and play as they get swimming and entertainment at night included & you can book activities although I find that some aren’t really for her age range and quite pricy for what it is

We’ve been to devon cliffs, primrose valley, golden sands, and presthaven all for a week and the first times we go to a new haven I didn’t bother doing stay and play as I wanted to explore the area and there was other things to do.

We are going to Hafan Y Mor in April for a week (not been before) and I’ve got stay and play as I want to be able to take her swimming and go to the entertainment then in July we are going back to Primrose Valley. I book my Haven weeks a year in advance as they’re always £300-500 for a week with the play passes but if you leave it they’re obviously more expensive. We love Haven, I think it’s such good value for a break and there’s always loads of stuff to do. I always try and get a 3 bed so we have a room for stuff but it’s never the end of the world if we just have a 2 bed.

I also do a food shop for the week and take it with us / or go to a local Tesco, Asda close by and stock up! My fave Haven is Primrose, we went up to Whitby and down to Bridlington, Scarborough too and it was just lovely - the sun was shining and we had so many beach days! If you know anyone who works for the nhs you can get 15% discount I think and they don’t check either , when I was non nhs I used my friends discount, but now I’m nhs it’s fine anyway xx

Thanks for your reply! What's the stay and play pass then? I thought swimming and entertainment was included on the website? I'm looking at one that is about £100. What are the extra activities you have to pay for?
I'm NHS staff so do you get a discount on booking?
I'm actually looking at golden sands because it's not THAT far from me. What's it like?
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We go every year
Love it!
When we could do out of school holidays, we went twice a year because april/september/October Are so cheap!

You can either get the normal Haven or pay less and get Haven Hideaway which is just the caravan.
Or normal Haven comes with the entertainment passes where you can use to pool/entertainment/arcades ect

We're going at the end of May but school holidays.
Where as out of school holidays we were paying about £70 for 4 nights

Yeah I'm looking at September for the normal Haven so I can get the entertainment included. Looks alright tbh!
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We’ve done weekends there. Depends which one you go to, but I don’t find there’s a huge amount to do age 3 as they’re too young for a lot of their activities. But you can do milkshake mornings, then the evening mini disco. Plus there’s often a pool.

I do find Butlins better at this age as they tend to have a peppa pig or similar show, plus swimming, kids football, the arcades, soft plays etc. and it works out a very similar price

I've looked at Butlins but it's more expensive. I have looked at stuff to do outside the park in the day and we would only go Monday to Friday anyway. Was just wondering what sort of entertainment etc there was for kids. The one I was looking at has this new massive play thing apparently that has stuff for toddlers?!

 

[ElektraWintour]

Speaking of, my 3yo has a diarrhoea bug was potty trained last august, if we put her in nappies while she’s got this bug is it going to mess up the training? She still wears them at night so isn’t completely nappy free. Not sure I can stand washing any more shitty pants and can’t throw them away or she’ll have none left but don’t want to screw up her using the potty once she’s better.

Also in laws are staying so I’m having to sleep in her bed at the mo. I have to take an exam for work tomorrow and now have a new fear unlocked that I’m going to shit myself in the middle of it

 

[LilyRose1234]

Not sure which is the right thread to ask this on, but travelling with kids - looking at going away next year with a 3 year old and a 6 month old. Can I take our double buggy to the gate and then they put it in hold? And what’s the situation with car seats on coach transfers? We only have the Joie 360s so not possible to travel with them and I don’t particularly want to buy seats just for the holiday. If I go through a company eg Tui/Neilson, does anyone know if they provide them? The logistics are blowing my mind but I desperately need a holiday!

 

[sazzles88]

Thanks for the advice guys. We will try again when we have a clear few days.

Unfortunately he is not one to be naked from the waist down, he has always liked to be full clothed!!! So we will have to work it with maybe nappies still day 1 then move him into pants the next day and he definitely won't like the feeling of being wet!

I'll keep talking about it until we get the time to go for it again!

And I'll see if I can get hold of that oh crap book!

 

[al255]

I was telling my dad how it works and he said so it’s
Not free at all and I said well no! I certainly can’t afford to just do termtime only and have to find childcare for the 6 weeks off etc, it’s madness! I’m purposely staying part time at work (3 days) when she starts school next year as it’s easier to find 3 days childcare than 5
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We will have abit of help but the 6 weeks are gunna be a killer, I’ll take 2 weeks off, her dad will have to and then 2 weeks holiday club

 

[watermelon sugar]

Send help and a bottle of wine my toddler has been hard work today

 

[Definitelyme]

@moimoi hello! So glad to hear from you! Apart from the dickhead job comments I hope all is well with you and ToddlerMoi?

 

[GlennCoco]

They give in to everything.
I've always been stubborn with taking them out the trolley seats too if they whinge.
Where as he just takes her out to carry her.
He never did it with the other 2 and they were fine in a seat.
She's awful and I'm pretty sure it's cause he's always got her out!

This happens for us too! I just let him get on with it and he can deal with the fall out whereas with me she knows how far she can push

 

[ElektraWintour]

My husband dropped our daughter off at her childminders this morning and went to work. Just texted me out of the blue that childminder is in agreement she may have dyspraxia so great now I’m worried again. I’ve asked husband what actually was said but I am picking her up later so will ask her too.

She is moving from her childminder to a nursery next month so I’m going to mention it to them too as something to keep an eye on.