Toddler advice thread #4

[Jellybean093]

Just need to rant…!!!

Got mini A from her dads and he said she was up at 3am asking him for the iPad after she needed a wee and a drink…! she’s gone to bed at 7pm cos she’s just exhausted.

He gave her a adult sized McFlurry at 4pm as I went to get her and I said are you fucking joking me? And as anticipated she didn’t eat her tea that I spent ages making I tried again at 6pm for her to eat her tea and she had a few mouthfuls. He knows full well no food past 3pm or else she doesn’t eat her tea. It winds me up so much.

He’s been in a foul mood all day cos “she woke up at 3am” and he couldn’t get back to sleep then expected me to drop my afternoon plans to get her earlier when he hasn’t seen her all week!

Not my problem hun. Where was my break when she was up early all week and I was feeling unwell. I still had to crack on (and had a good moan to you lot about it) but he literally has to do 10:30am Saturday to 4pm Sunday. It’s not much time given she’s asleep from 7:30pm till the following morning. Urgh!!!!!

I think it’s really hard for dads because they want to be seen as the ‘fun one’ with no proper responsibilities until they get their kid once every other week. Mostly through choice (Well, I’m my experience anyway)
Can you ask him to start having her more? Maybe you need a break from each other
At least she wasn’t faffing tonight. Swings and roundabouts!

 

[WhatABore]

What do I do if I have more than one child for the poll? Pick my favourite and vote that way?

Forgot to pick the multiple options one

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

How quickly will he go back to sleep if he wakes? Mine will come into our bedroom and get into bed with us when she wakes, but she’ll zonk out the minute she’s in bed so it wakes me up for 30 seconds max which is perfectly manageable with work haha. If it’ll just be a quick wake for you to go in and lay down, I’d probably risk it because he might surprise you!

Similar to that really. He hasn’t woken in the night for agessssss now. I can’t remember the last time. I hope I haven’t jinxed myself . I changed his nappy at 1130 the other night and he didn’t wake

 

[al255]

Tired tired tired and tonsillitis has struck me mini A hasn’t slept well all week, she’s been full of a cold and bad cough. Which in turn I’ve not slept well.. she’s hardly ate much in the last few days just managing bits of stuff. She’s not slept past 6:15am since Sunday and she’s just exhausted. I’m exhausted so i dread to think how she feels. Due to early wake up I’ve been putting her to bed at 7.15 so she’s asleep for 7.30-7.35ish but I’m wondering if it’s too early and it’s causing her to be awake early (but she’s waking up at 6am and it’s a longgggggg day for a 3 year old)??

She usually is asleep for 7:40pm when she’s well, and she sleeps soundly until 7am, sometimes 7:15am.

I think she’s waking up early cos she’s starving but she’s not managing much just hope she perks up soon and has a proper sleep which I hope will help.. doesn’t help there’s nobody else to take over the nights and I’ve had complete broken sleep allllll week.. her dads been doing overtime at work amd
He didn’t come mid week like he usually does to see her so I didn’t even get a break! Thankfully she’s at her dads tomorrow morning till Sunday till 3pm so I can get a long sleep without being interrupted

 

[al255]

Do you think it could be a result of being out of routine and away from home? (Also sorry if this sounds really obvious but mine isn’t potty trained yet (not quite 2) but she does huge wees, so even doing one overnight if the nappy is on awkwardly and she’ll leak everywhere. It may well be she’s not doing loads of wees, but where they’re bigger it looks like loads? I don’t know just throwing ideas out there!

i don’t know, maybe! When we went to Haven in April she was in pull ups and she was dry at night so if I compared the two I just seem to think it’s the excess fluids she’s having that are causing bed wetting. My friend just said to limit drinks from 4pm and make sure she goes for lots of wees between tea and bedtime she’s just woke up and her pull up is full to the brim of wee and the beds wet. I’m actually shocked at how much wee one child can produce

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I think I've said before, but it's the opposite here. I usually do drop off and she goes in fine, bounces off to see her little mates no probs. Daddy takes her and all hell breaks loose, wailing, sobbing, the works

She's always fine within 5 minutes though. They just love to tug at your heartstrings.

His dad is like does he not care about me all dramatic hahaha I said you don’t want him to be upset irs horrible
Yeah he’s always fine it’s just the initial drop off

 

[al255]

I'm wondering if mini P is having nightmares or something. Every night between 1-3am she will usually just suddenly scream like she's being murdered and run to her gate crying. She's absolutely inconsolable unless she has someone with her. This has been going on for weeks now, what are the chances this will pass without us doing anything? Not that I even know what I could be doing... we've tried night lights, special toys, checking for monsters. All that works is being with her but I just wish I knew why it was happening

Oh my word, it sounds awful! When mini A has a night terror I just have to sit next to her and let it pass

 

[Sw4]

My boddler is 21 months and she’s had a duvet since about 15/16 months as she hated a sleeping bag. She tends to kick the duvet off completely tbh but if she’s cold she will sometimes keep it on. She’s also a wriggly sleeper! The best thing I’ve found is fleecy pjs so I don’t have to worry About her being cold when she inevitably kicks the duvet off

Where do you get good fleecy pyjamas please? My 21 month old is exactly the same, hates a sleeping bag but wriggles out from under the duvet about an hour after going to sleep pretty much every night!

 

[WhatABore]

I pay £266 now and my bill for April is £230.

My invoice atm says 11 hours free (that’s the 15 hours free government funded for 2-3 year olds) then cos she goes from 7:30am and stays till
5:30pm that’s at an added cost. It’s madness how much they charge.

For instance if she went term time and I wanted to pay from 7:30am to 9am it’s £12.50! Wow i just feel like it makes
No sense how I’m still paying out £230 when she’s meant to get free hours and she only goes 2 days a week!
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She’s not in nappies but when she was I’d have to bring them anyway. The added costs are crazy for term time only. I’m going to speak to her tomorrow again cos it’s madness the cost really. Is it even worth me doing the extra bit at work

I don't know if you do but universal credit can cover up to 85% of the costs

 

[Emzykins]

Are her nappies still wet when she wakes?

Yeah her pull ups are soaking when she wakes up. In the day she’s perfect though. I know it comes in time, and she keeps saying she knows when she’s bigger she’ll go to the toilet in the night (she hears me going in the night )

 

[smellsofbiscuits]

It is so brutal when everyone is vomiting at the same time. Hope it passes quickly for you all

Mr B is last man standing at the moment! Thank you, am keeping my fingers crossed.

 

[al255]

You have no idea if she will keep that in her mind or not. Honestly, I doubt you’d speak that way to an adult so why you think it’s ok to say it to a child (and laughing face about it) is beyond me.

I doubt she will remember it she doesn’t remember one thing to the next half the time.

Anywayyyyy let’s move on from the words I use for my child, I was giving one example to someone about what I said to my daughter about running into the road. And it’s happened once and never since.

This isn’t mumsnet..

 

[Jellybean093]

We’ve gone haven hideaway rather than haven, we did haven (with entertainment etc) in April and she was exhausted at night, didn’t even make the entertainment at night but the weather was abit icky during the day so the indoor entertainment was ok when it was raining and swimming but in summer we don’t need it.

Although - we are going Primrose Valley for a second time next month and we’ve got Haven cos I got a good deal, but I’m not that bothered about the night time. She was the same on hol last month, asleep before 7pm every night cos she was shattered! I’m glad tho cos I’m tired too, it’s hard work for a week on my own sometimes I’m so tired by 8pm

We use Haven more of a base cos it’s cheaper than hotels and it’s got everything we need for cooking even tho we eat out for 2 teas! I don’t care about cooking it’s just easier than dealing with a fussy child

Which other havens have you been too? We’ve done: Golden Sands, Primrose, Hafan, Devon Cliffs, Presthaven. We are doing Primrose again next month then Church Farm! I do love a Haven hol, they’re fab for the price.

Ah, that’s fair enough. I love doing the evening , and was gutted we couldn’t do it. Kids love it. Haven’t done any other havens. Done Park last year, and that was ok
I’m a sucker for any caravan holiday though and would love to own one when I’m old and grey (although I’m half way there with the grey hair )

 

[DcfcE]

Does my one year old count as a toddler

 

[smellsofbiscuits]

My just graduated boddler (almost 2.5 yo) will no longer nap anywhere except my car. Spent almost 45 minutes driving around trying to get him to go to sleep

And on that note, seeking advice regarding sleeping. The little darling is now able to open his sleeping bags and has buggered the zip on two of them. Does anyone use a duvet with a 2.5yo?

My eldest didn't graduate to a bed until he was about 3.5 and was fine with his sleeping bags. I'm a worrier and not happy about Small Biscuit messing around with his sleeping bag. But then he is a wriggly sleeper and is all over the place in his cot so I'm concerned that a duvet isn't much better. Most of the advice I've Googled is about them not sleeping at all which isn't really what I'm looking for. Help!

 

[Borntorun]

I got a letter yesterday and it says full days are now going to cost £52 from £48 which is an extra £8 a week / £32 a month .. I get the increase as everything is going up including their wages/cost of food etc

That’s still pretty cheap. I pay £63.40 a day per child. So £126.80

 

[ElektraWintour]

She's had the flu spray and it's not made a difference - gutted!

On that note, she'll be 3 and 4 months next week, and I haven't heard anything about her preschool jabs. Should I have heard by now or do you think the process starts once she hits that age?

I got this in an email from NHS start for life, maybe call your GP and they can advise when it’ll be scheduled?

 

[ElektraWintour]

My 3yo has suddenly started with the nightmares again. She woke up about an hour after she’d gone to sleep last night hysterically crying, I don’t think she even woke up when I went into her because I had to pick her up and cuddle her to calm her. She still has her Ollie owl she’s had since a baby so I turned that light on and lullaby and then she laid back down and was asleep again.

It’s having a knock on effect in the day, she’s so moody, everything is no and she’s always been a mummy’s girl but now she’s even more clingy. I’m trying to be understanding because she’s obviously going through something but she’s hard work at the moment.

She also had her first ever time out with her child minder this week for snatching toys and shouting at the childminder when she tried to discuss it. Then the mum guilt starts because I’m thinking she doesn’t know how to share as an only child and how I’d love to give her a sibling but not financially an option for us. Sorry gone off on a bit of a long rant there

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I’m glad it went well. Ours has been dreadful. 6:30pm told her bathtime in 15 mins. Set a timer on my phone and once it went off she knew it was bathtime, she gave me the iPad no problems and refused to walk or be carried upstairs. I then told her to think about what she wants to do whilst I go and run her the bath.. came back down and she refused to get undressed, managed to get her undressed and carried her upstairs.

She’s just NONE STOP screaming, horrible whining cry that make my ears wanna burst. Got in the bath and she won’t even sit down, she’s that worked up over me carrying her upstairs ??!! Quick wash and told her she’s not getting the iPad after bathtime it’s dressed, teeth and bed. She needed a wash as she was all sweaty and dirty from nursery, if she wasn’t dirty I wouldn’t have bothered tbh.

Brushed her teeth no issues, happily walks to her bedroom and we read a few books that she’s picked. Then she wants one more and the drama/screaming begins. I just told her no and cuddled her to sleep.

WHY do we need the drama!!!

I wouldn’t mind but it’s not even over the iPad, she gives that to me no problem.

Sick of horrible ear piercing screaming that’s not needed!!!! 🫠🫠🫠🫠
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No I don’t think so. My 3 year old had all her teeth near enough by 2 but I know some kids who haven’t got all their baby teeth yet at 3!

Oh god sounds awful. I hate screaming like that. Did she go to sleep ok or was it just the bath she was crying at

 

[ElektraWintour]

Has anyone got any experience of dyspraxia in their children?

My 3yo daughter is so clumsy can literally trip over thin air and I know it’s somewhat normal with toddlers but I got the thought in my head, looked it up and she ticks off so many of the symptoms. I see the nhs site says it can’t be diagnosed until past 5 so nothing I can do for now but wondering if anyone else had experience of it.