Toddler advice thread #4

[skyehigh]

Hello! Not posted in here before, but I have a 2 year old, 3 very very soon! Not toilet trained just yet, we tried this week, but definitely not ready so we will try again in a few weeks.

But any advice on to how to start it? I feel like it didn't work this time as I probably gave out vibes of not knowing what I'm doing! I think I've overloaded myself on different ways to do it and muddled it!

What's been the way that works for you guys???

First day no pants, have the potty next to them at all times and when they start going just stick them on the potty. Next day, maybe pants (make sure they know how to pull them down), potty next to them. Lots of excessive praise! And chocolate buttons for bribery.

Day 3 I thought my child was not getting it but pushed through and they are doing well now. Although no with #2s -we are a week in and yet to crack these!!

 

[Megatron1298]

I would love to let my little one roam naked so he could figure out toileting but I like my new carpet too much lol. How do you lot do it? He’s 3 next month and could not care less to go on the toilet when offered

 

[LilyRose1234]

Stressed! Mini A woke up at 5am all wet again, she woke me up and got her into clean pjs, the mattress protector was soaked and it’s gone through to the mattress so she’s sharing my bed and I’ve just felt her pjs and they’re soaked. (She’s also got a pull up on as I didn’t want to get my bed wet either but she’s still asleep - my pjs are wet!!What is going on

Has anyone got any advice cos it’s stressing me out - I just say to her it’s ok and the cleaner will sort but her bed was soaked through to the mattress and mine is wet too now.

She’s going for a wee before bed and during the day but it’s like everything she’s drinking and ice creams is coming out of her overnight.

Do I limit drinks after 4pm? We usually come back up to the room at 4pm (5pm Spain time) and then it’s go down for tea and up to bed. I got told don’t limit drinks due to it helping your child’s bladder hold more capacity but for the sake of hols?

Do you think it could be a result of being out of routine and away from home? (Also sorry if this sounds really obvious but mine isn’t potty trained yet (not quite 2) but she does huge wees, so even doing one overnight if the nappy is on awkwardly and she’ll leak everywhere. It may well be she’s not doing loads of wees, but where they’re bigger it looks like loads? I don’t know just throwing ideas out there!

 

[Kim Mild]

My 3 year old is having my life. Absolute nightmare trying to take them to the shops. They've regressed with their toilet training too.

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Funny is one word for it Is it his first night in his new room? I’d risk it or he’ll expect you to sleep in there from now on. No judgement it’s what I did when she moved out of our room. Now she’s back in our bed as I moved back in with the baby and her dad is in hers

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I think once they start forming sentences, they do come along leaps and bounds. Also, I’m sure Ms Rachel helped him when we were off at Christmas!

He is proper parroting as well. Today we were at my mums and she was on the phone and she was saying ok. Good. Right. Yes. Thanks. Bye and he was stood in front of her repeating each word

 

[Definitelyme]

Thank you, I was shocked at the time. I told my partner last night but after a very rough evening with her and an unwell 4 month old we were both emotionally tapped out. I will write a letter and have a meeting and see what they say but I’m not optimistic. I messaged them last week letting them know she was having separation anxiety and if they had any resources or ideas like the hv told me to do and they didn’t reply.

I agree with what you’ve said about if they’ll struggle. Her dad said yesterday it will be hell if we take her out then send her to school as she’ll be in for a shock. But I can’t see how forcing her to go somewhere she hates for over a year will make that experience better. All she’ll think is this is what school is like I don’t want to go!
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It’s definitely not helping. We had turned a corner after her brother was born and it’s exploded again. I’ve worked so hard on making the adjustment as smooth as I can.Now I spend half the week getting her prepped to go in and then dealing with the fall out when she comes home. It’s exhausting for her and for me. She only gets one childhood and this isn’t how I want it to be. She’ll be in school next year and now I’m thinking she’s going to be less prepared as what is it doing to her self esteem to be told every time you leave how awful you’ve been.

That is it, sending them to struggle early doesn’t actually help at all. It just brings the struggle forward and puts it on them at an earlier age when they aren’t anywhere near emotionally equipped to deal with it.
None of mine went to anything before they started education (luckily we were able to do that, i know it’s not always possible) and my now 7yo and my 4yo both struggled. But sending them somewhere early would have meant the same struggles… just a year earlier.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I was telling my dad how it works and he said so it’s
Not free at all and I said well no! I certainly can’t afford to just do termtime only and have to find childcare for the 6 weeks off etc, it’s madness! I’m purposely staying part time at work (3 days) when she starts school next year as it’s easier to find 3 days childcare than 5
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We will have abit of help but the 6 weeks are gunna be a killer, I’ll take 2 weeks off, her dad will have to and then 2 weeks holiday club

It's the way of the world unfortunately, if it was fully free, it would collapse the whole childcare system, as they work at a loss to accommodate funded hours. It shouldn't be the way, but that's life under a Tory government.

The 6 weeks are a killer for everyone unfortunately, it used to cost me over £1000 for the 6 weeks holidays as we didn't have any help for when he was off & I couldn't always book time off in time.
It's not forever, you just have to remember that. Ensure your utilising all available to you such as the Universal Credit childcare scheme etc.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Those that have co slept when did you decide for them to go in their own room. Mine is unbelievably affectionate and soft. He hates being on his own!! Even if I go out the room during the day he’ll come with me to the loo or upstairs if I’m nipping up for something. He just won’t sleep on his own never has! He sleeps really well next to me so am I just creating problems by moving him. I can’t remember the last time he woke up during the night.

I can not deal with last night all the time. I know he needs to get used to it but I couldn’t settle at all and when I eventually fell asleep he woke up probs an hour later, came into our room so I got in his bed with him and there wasn’t much room obvs and I just couldn’t settle and he was tossing and turning a lot too so we went back into my bed and then he was wide awake til 3 am ish and my alarm goes off at 6 am
I don’t mind him being in my bed at all but he’s 4 now. Do I keep trying or just let him in my bed again. I’m soooo tired and cos of my job ( walking all day I do 25/27000 steps ) I can barely keep my eyes open now and I just wanna cry
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But he takes himself in there after his bath should I add so he wants to be in there just not on his own but there isn’t room for both of us hah

 

[PillowsofFluff]

I feel like I'm always in here complaining about sleep but I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do
So we've gone from waking once or twice a night, which I thought was probably nightmares, to waking every hour - honestly it's worse than when she was a newborn. It's like she wakes up, realises she's alone and just runs to her gate hysterical. We get no time alone in the evenings now as one of us has to go and calm her down constantly and I'm just beside myself. It's really getting me down. I just don't know how to deal with it, when she was a baby I would let her just cry it out, but that's harder to do now she's in a bed

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

When mine was 2 he did 2 full days and it was £600 a term
It’s ridiculous

 

[al255]

Fucking hell You’ll be putting Final Destination on for her next

its harsh langague but if it scares her she wouldn’t ever do it again.

And it’s true she could be taken - it happens!

 

[disillusionedbythegram]

Thank you, I will contact the manager tomorrow and ask for a meeting as it can’t go on like this. I’ll have a look around and see if there is anywhere but most places are booked up so far in advance.

From personal experience, get your complaint to them in writing too, along with their response

 

[DaisyDaisy87]

Hahaha I know, I feel like it’ll be more stress than it’s worth but I haven’t had a hot holiday since 2017 so I feel like by next year I’ll definitely deserve it! I keep seeing all my friends on holiday and it’s making me sad and feel like I can’t do anything anymore so I’m determined to try it (might be a one time thing lol). Ok the pram sounds fine, will have to ponder on the car seats!
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Yeah will definitely pick somewhere with a relatively short transfer! B how did you find the flight to Greece?

Ummm going out was hard because it was middle of the day, he didn’t want to sleep and had just learnt to crawl, it was a small EasyJet plane so we couldn’t really stand anywhere and rock him to sleep without getting in the way in a weird way I think long haul might sometimes be easier!

Coming back was so much better as it was a night flight so he fell asleep in the baby carrier at the airport and managed to stay asleep the whole flight! He was then very angry when we transferred him into the car to go home though so swings and roundabouts haha. Definitely worth it for a holiday and the memories all together though!

One tip I swear by is paying more for decent accommodation, preferably with multiple bedrooms and a nice big balcony so that you can relax in the evenings without disturbing them once they’re asleep and actually feel like you’re on holiday! We’ve been stuck in a small hotel room in the dark at 7pm before and learnt the hard way. In one place in Greece we had a hot tub on our balcony and it was the best money we’ve ever spent! Going out of season makes it cheaper as well and not as hot in the day for the babies!

 

[watermelon sugar]

I feel like i’m a bit behind with the toilet training but honestly i don’t think he has been ready and he has only just started showing signs. This week he’s been wearing underpants at nursery and has had a few wees on the toilet at home. He’s got a nappy back on because he’s got a terrible cold atm and he’s just not in the mood I’m off the first week of Easter holidays so i’m determined to crack it then

 

[Definitelyme]

My little one has just gone to sleep no arguments or anything. I started bed time at 655. He had a bath at 6 and we’ve been in bed he had the iPad for a bit and then a book then nothing and just gone to sleep in 15 mins bless him. It’s SO much better when he doesn’t fight me 🥹

After a long day of parenting nightmare bedtimes can just push you over the edge. Glad it went well

 

[Definitelyme]

Is it not just a total waste of money and nappies. I don’t understand the thought process here. I’d rather change a wet sheet than buy nappies. I can’t wait for the day I don’t have to buy them

Absolutely agree. Sure you’ve to wash the sheets anyway!

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Do ask him. Tell him it’s time to go to the toilet. My son used to be naked all the time and just before I officially started potty training him, he would hold his wee in then wee in his nappy as soon as I put one on for nap/bed time.
He is only 2, and is still very young to be potty trained
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But HOW do you get it on both legs when one leg has clothes on? I feel you’re making more work for yourself

Thread it through tights or pants, you never put knickers on when you've got one leg in your jeans?

 

[WhatABore]

i can’t even say she’s sick cos when she comes back tanned with a braid in her hair telling everyone she’s been on holiday I’m certainly not telling her to lie either cos let’s face it, kids let stuff slip anyway

I save £60 on Jet2 booking it as a single parent with their discount so that’s paid for it

That's exactly what my 5yo would be like. I was saying to my partner the other day that we'd have no chance pretending she was sick with her

Same as I considered getting her into a place before as an under 5 as she turned 5 a few weeks before but I know she'd be like NO I'M 5!

 

[WhatABore]

Hahahah!! Yeah so to put a fresh one on you need to remove their clothing on their bottoms ? don’t you?🫣. I don’t know anymore hahaha

Haha yes you do.
I was confused thinking pants=underwear.
Thought you were putting underwear over the pull ups