Toddler advice thread #4

[I’mThankyou_]

I was telling my dad how it works and he said so it’s
Not free at all and I said well no! I certainly can’t afford to just do termtime only and have to find childcare for the 6 weeks off etc, it’s madness! I’m purposely staying part time at work (3 days) when she starts school next year as it’s easier to find 3 days childcare than 5
---
We will have abit of help but the 6 weeks are gunna be a killer, I’ll take 2 weeks off, her dad will have to and then 2 weeks holiday club

It's the way of the world unfortunately, if it was fully free, it would collapse the whole childcare system, as they work at a loss to accommodate funded hours. It shouldn't be the way, but that's life under a Tory government.

The 6 weeks are a killer for everyone unfortunately, it used to cost me over £1000 for the 6 weeks holidays as we didn't have any help for when he was off & I couldn't always book time off in time.
It's not forever, you just have to remember that. Ensure your utilising all available to you such as the Universal Credit childcare scheme etc.

 

[al255]

It's the way of the world unfortunately, if it was fully free, it would collapse the whole childcare system, as they work at a loss to accommodate funded hours. It shouldn't be the way, but that's life under a Tory government.

The 6 weeks are a killer for everyone unfortunately, it used to cost me over £1000 for the 6 weeks holidays as we didn't have any help for when he was off & I couldn't always book time off in time.
It's not forever, you just have to remember that. Ensure your utilising all available to you such as the Universal Credit childcare scheme etc.

I read a post on Facebook about how much nurseries don’t benefit from the 30 hours free.

I wouldn’t change her nursery as it’s 2 mins from my house and it’s twinned with the school she’s going to be going too! It’s just frustrating how it works. Do kids really need a break from school for 6 weeks

 

[WhatABore]

I read a post on Facebook about how much nurseries don’t benefit from the 30 hours free.

I wouldn’t change her nursery as it’s 2 mins from my house and it’s twinned with the school she’s going to be going too! It’s just frustrating how it works. Do kids really need a break from school for 6 weeks

If it means making it cheaper for you though, and actually getting more free hours, it may be worth it.
That school will still be in your catchment area so she'd still get in

 

[al255]

If it means making it cheaper for you though, and actually getting more free hours, it may be worth it.
That school will still be in your catchment area so she'd still get in

I know but the nursery is amazing and she’s formed some good friendships, I know I’m moaning and esentially it’s saving me £200 a month. My dad said when we were young they got one morning free a week

 

[Jellybean093]

I read a post on Facebook about how much nurseries don’t benefit from the 30 hours free.

I wouldn’t change her nursery as it’s 2 mins from my house and it’s twinned with the school she’s going to be going too! It’s just frustrating how it works. Do kids really need a break from school for 6 weeks

No, they don’t benefit because the government give them something like £4 an hour. A nursery nurse will be taking home at least minimum wage. My sons preschool is £7 an hour, so is losing £3 an hour with him (£18 a day, and he is in full time 9-3!)

While I know it’s frustrating having to pay towards it, we are actually so lucky now to get this. When my eldest was 3, we only had the 15 hour element. The 30 was brought in a few years later

It’s also not just the lonnng 6 weeks holiday. They have 13 weeks the whole year. Try to find childcare for all that

 

[watermelon sugar]

Does anyone else’s toddler watch Vlad and Niki?? To have their life

 

[ElektraWintour]

I’m just glad I have an office based job and working from home has become the norm because I think that’s the only way we’re going to manage school holidays.

 

[al255]

Does anyone else’s toddler watch Vlad and Niki?? To have their life

YES!! And Diana and whoever the boy is!

 

[watermelon sugar]

YES!! And Diana and whoever the boy is!

Roma They do Diana barbie like toys in poundland didn’t even know she was that popular

 

[PillowsofFluff]

I’m just glad I have an office based job and working from home has become the norm because I think that’s the only way we’re going to manage school holidays.

I'm glad my fiance is a teacher - free childcare during the holidays!

 

[WhatABore]

Does anyone else’s toddler watch Vlad and Niki?? To have their life

Yeah. She has their app on her tablet
She watches Gabby and Alex too but I don't mind them so much
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Roma They do Diana barbie like toys in poundland didn’t even know she was that popular

Is that the Love Diana stuff?
I'd never heard of them but she got bought loads from her Nan for her 3rd birthday.
Including an annoying phone that constantly goes "Hello. It's Diana. Let's be friends" and repeat

 

[Borntorun]

Is that the Love Diana stuff?
I'd never heard of them but she got bought loads from her Nan for her 3rd birthday.
Including an annoying phone that constantly goes "Hello. It's Diana. Let's be friends" and repeat

My daughter likes to listen to Diana’s album on Spotify and asks Alexa to play it all the time. It’s awful. Auto tuned within an inch of her life

 

[al255]

I am so fed up of my Daughters Dad. I just need a rant!!!!!

He doesn’t drive and expects everyone to be available to take him & our daughter places when it’s nobody else’s responsibility apart from ours.

She’s got a party this Saturday with one of her good nursery friends and all nursery kids are going.

We got the invite weeks ago and he knew he was taking her cos I’m out in another town and have stuff planned / pre booked (and this was booked before she got the invite).

The party is in another town but it’s easily accessible by a bus from his house to town to the train, and she’s free on bus & train. The place is 2 min walk from train station and she will enjoy it. She loves going on any form of transport.

Anyway. I told him I’ve spoke to his mum and she can’t take them due to needing to be somewhere else with his nan due to organising funeral arrangements. So I told her dad get the bus and the train and I’ll bring her pram so she can be strapped in and you’ve no worries about her running off etc he said “I’m skint I’ve only got £15 to my name” WTF man. He then said it’s a faff.

???? I took her to the local zoo which was an hour + round trip on bus & train when she was younger and I didn’t drive! It’s literally a 15-20 min journey into town and then 8 mins on the train and a 2-3 min walk.

He lives with his nan and literally had his rent, phone and CSA to pay for and I said it’s beyond a joke. I said to him I’ll buy his £3.40 train ticket and he can surely pay for the bus himself.

I’m so pissed off and more pissed off that he is skint yet went out for Cheltenham last weekend and didn’t think to save any money to be able to do something with her this weekend, the only day he has her it’s gunna be pissing it down and she knows this party is happening cos she’s been going on about it. If she doesn’t go to this party she won’t be doing anything at all Saturday or Sunday and it’s just really annoyed me. I just feel sorry for her to miss out cos of him. His mum is gunna pay for his bus fare and I’m gunna buy his train ticket so he can’t spend my £3.40 on anything else. It winds me up so so much that he doesn’t seem to care to save money and his outgoings are duck all.

Just need to rant. I know the party isn’t the end of the world if she doesn’t go but he knew he had to take her to it and she’s been looking forward to it. My dads busy so he can’t take them (even so why should he?!! ) just urgh I don’t know anyone of the other mums well enough to randomly message to ask if she can have a lift there and back but it’s just a piss take even so.

 

[disillusionedbythegram]

I am so fed up of my Daughters Dad. I just need a rant!!!!!

He doesn’t drive and expects everyone to be available to take him & our daughter places when it’s nobody else’s responsibility apart from ours.

She’s got a party this Saturday with one of her good nursery friends and all nursery kids are going.

We got the invite weeks ago and he knew he was taking her cos I’m out in another town and have stuff planned / pre booked (and this was booked before she got the invite).

The party is in another town but it’s easily accessible by a bus from his house to town to the train, and she’s free on bus & train. The place is 2 min walk from train station and she will enjoy it. She loves going on any form of transport.

Anyway. I told him I’ve spoke to his mum and she can’t take them due to needing to be somewhere else with his nan due to organising funeral arrangements. So I told her dad get the bus and the train and I’ll bring her pram so she can be strapped in and you’ve no worries about her running off etc he said “I’m skint I’ve only got £15 to my name” WTF man. He then said it’s a faff.

???? I took her to the local zoo which was an hour + round trip on bus & train when she was younger and I didn’t drive! It’s literally a 15-20 min journey into town and then 8 mins on the train and a 2-3 min walk.

He lives with his nan and literally had his rent, phone and CSA to pay for and I said it’s beyond a joke. I said to him I’ll buy his £3.40 train ticket and he can surely pay for the bus himself.

I’m so pissed off and more pissed off that he is skint yet went out for Cheltenham last weekend and didn’t think to save any money to be able to do something with her this weekend, the only day he has her it’s gunna be pissing it down and she knows this party is happening cos she’s been going on about it. If she doesn’t go to this party she won’t be doing anything at all Saturday or Sunday and it’s just really annoyed me. I just feel sorry for her to miss out cos of him. His mum is gunna pay for his bus fare and I’m gunna buy his train ticket so he can’t spend my £3.40 on anything else. It winds me up so so much that he doesn’t seem to care to save money and his outgoings are duck all.

Just need to rant. I know the party isn’t the end of the world if she doesn’t go but he knew he had to take her to it and she’s been looking forward to it. My dads busy so he can’t take them (even so why should he?!! ) just urgh I don’t know anyone of the other mums well enough to randomly message to ask if she can have a lift there and back but it’s just a piss take even so.

Wow I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with that. Whilst I can understand why you have (because I’d do anything for my kids to be happy too) you definitely shouldn’t have to pay for his bus/train ticket. He’s prioritising his own social life over his daughters which is really crappy, because she doesn’t get to decide for herself while she’s young she’s totally reliant on adults. I really hope he takes her

 

[al255]

Wow I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with that. Whilst I can understand why you have (because I’d do anything for my kids to be happy too) you definitely shouldn’t have to pay for his bus/train ticket. He’s prioritising his own social life over his daughters which is really crappy, because she doesn’t get to decide for herself while she’s young she’s totally reliant on adults. I really hope he takes her

I’m just fuming. “£15 to my name till Tuesday” yeah but you can go out and get drunk all weekend what about saving £10 to get to the party. He didn’t even bother asking his mum he just expected her to be available to take them he’s a waste of space. He winds me up so much. Eventually she won’t want to go to his house and that won’t be my fault, when all she does there is stay in and it’s boring! His nan (her great grandma) doesn’t like A being there cos she’s messy and gets every toy out etc.

When I went away her dad asked me if he could stay here with her and I said no. Not happening. I’m just on one today he infuriates me.

 

[disillusionedbythegram]

I’m just fuming. “£15 to my name till Tuesday” yeah but you can go out and get drunk all weekend what about saving £10 to get to the party. He didn’t even bother asking his mum he just expected her to be available to take them he’s a waste of space. He winds me up so much. Eventually she won’t want to go to his house and that won’t be my fault, when all she does there is stay in and it’s boring! His nan (her great grandma) doesn’t like A being there cos she’s messy and gets every toy out etc.

When I went away her dad asked me if he could stay here with her and I said no. Not happening. I’m just on one today he infuriates me.

He’s infuriating me too and he’s not even my daughters dad so you’re perfectly justified to feel that way. It’s so tough when you want the best for your daughter but also want him to figure this out for himself, eg you calling his mum to check if she could take him - why isn’t he taking that initiative? Such poor behaviour

 

[Jellybean093]

I am so fed up of my Daughters Dad. I just need a rant!!!!!

He doesn’t drive and expects everyone to be available to take him & our daughter places when it’s nobody else’s responsibility apart from ours.

She’s got a party this Saturday with one of her good nursery friends and all nursery kids are going.

We got the invite weeks ago and he knew he was taking her cos I’m out in another town and have stuff planned / pre booked (and this was booked before she got the invite).

The party is in another town but it’s easily accessible by a bus from his house to town to the train, and she’s free on bus & train. The place is 2 min walk from train station and she will enjoy it. She loves going on any form of transport.

Anyway. I told him I’ve spoke to his mum and she can’t take them due to needing to be somewhere else with his nan due to organising funeral arrangements. So I told her dad get the bus and the train and I’ll bring her pram so she can be strapped in and you’ve no worries about her running off etc he said “I’m skint I’ve only got £15 to my name” WTF man. He then said it’s a faff.

???? I took her to the local zoo which was an hour + round trip on bus & train when she was younger and I didn’t drive! It’s literally a 15-20 min journey into town and then 8 mins on the train and a 2-3 min walk.

He lives with his nan and literally had his rent, phone and CSA to pay for and I said it’s beyond a joke. I said to him I’ll buy his £3.40 train ticket and he can surely pay for the bus himself.

I’m so pissed off and more pissed off that he is skint yet went out for Cheltenham last weekend and didn’t think to save any money to be able to do something with her this weekend, the only day he has her it’s gunna be pissing it down and she knows this party is happening cos she’s been going on about it. If she doesn’t go to this party she won’t be doing anything at all Saturday or Sunday and it’s just really annoyed me. I just feel sorry for her to miss out cos of him. His mum is gunna pay for his bus fare and I’m gunna buy his train ticket so he can’t spend my £3.40 on anything else. It winds me up so so much that he doesn’t seem to care to save money and his outgoings are duck all.

Just need to rant. I know the party isn’t the end of the world if she doesn’t go but he knew he had to take her to it and she’s been looking forward to it. My dads busy so he can’t take them (even so why should he?!! ) just urgh I don’t know anyone of the other mums well enough to randomly message to ask if she can have a lift there and back but it’s just a piss take even so.

Ah, I’ve been there when my daughter was about the same age. He lost his license for 2 years because he crashed while drunk driving. I was the taxi until I got fed up. I’d always be the one buying presents, even though I wasn’t taking her, and she has occasionally missed out. He’s such a walk over though. He rang this morning because she ‘wasn’t well’ and said she could get the bus home when she ready because he had to get to work. He couldn’t even phone the school to tell them, that was something I had to do, even though I have 3 other kids to get out the house and parents morning and work 🫠 anyway, she went to school and I haven’t heard anything from her. Sorry for me-railing

TLDR some dads are tit bleeps

 

[al255]

He’s infuriating me too and he’s not even my daughters dad so you’re perfectly justified to feel that way. It’s so tough when you want the best for your daughter but also want him to figure this out for himself, eg you calling his mum to check if she could take him - why isn’t he taking that initiative? Such poor behaviour

He just expects everyone to be available to be a taxi and they’re busy. Rightly so it’s their weekend too!

He has it so easy and moans when he has to come for an hour a week after work so I can go the gym. It’s just pathetic!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I’m just fuming. “£15 to my name till Tuesday” yeah but you can go out and get drunk all weekend what about saving £10 to get to the party. He didn’t even bother asking his mum he just expected her to be available to take them he’s a waste of space. He winds me up so much. Eventually she won’t want to go to his house and that won’t be my fault, when all she does there is stay in and it’s boring! His nan (her great grandma) doesn’t like A being there cos she’s messy and gets every toy out etc.

When I went away her dad asked me if he could stay here with her and I said no. Not happening. I’m just on one today he infuriates me.

I’ve been reading ur posts for a while I don’t think this is the first time you’ve ranted about him … I know it isn’t as simple as this but honestly if it was me I think I’d cut ties with him he sounds like a waste of space who doesn’t put his daughter first. Like you say can go to Cheltenham. Which isn’t cheap! I bet spent loads on beer.
your poor daughter her own great grandma doesn’t want her being there !? None of them sound very nice
Sorry if any of this is out of order.

 

[al255]

I’ve been reading ur posts for a while I don’t think this is the first time you’ve ranted about him … I know it isn’t as simple as this but honestly if it was me I think I’d cut ties with him he sounds like a waste of space who doesn’t put his daughter first. Like you say can go to Cheltenham. Which isn’t cheap! I bet spent loads on beer.
your poor daughter her own great grandma doesn’t want her being there !? None of them sound very nice
Sorry if any of this is out of order.

No he just doesn’t have his priorities right sometimes!! He grinds my gears. He didn’t go to Cheltenham but watched it with his family in the pub and then didn’t think to save any money for this weekend and expected someone to be available to take them to the party. It’s the same old. My daughter loves spending time with him, he just doesn’t think properly before he wastes all his money

He said about his nan and he said it’s not fair but she’s just bitter at times and it winds me and him up. She goes once a week on a weekend and that’s it