Toddler advice thread #4

[SundaysChild]

So his key worker brought him to the door when I got there and I mentioned it and she said they will start checking. But I wasn’t really impressed with her response. She said well he doesn’t come to tell us. Well obviously not cos he can’t and he isn’t potty trained. Jesus wept
But she said they will start checking more and have a word with everyone else to do so as well

Please please make sure it's all documented on emails etc... personally I'd ask for a review and more routine checks. Where my little girl goes they have an app where the document everything, potty tries, nappy changes, naps, what she eats etc, do yours do similar?

 

[Definitelyme]

We only wash hair once a week with ours. 3 out of 4 aren’t bothered at all. The other one wails like a banshee. And it’s not the littlest one either

 

[Definitelyme]

Thank you, I’m aware of that. I struggle to get out the house some days if I don’t have a plan or if the weather isn’t great. She’s growing out of he playgroups I take her to so just planning ahead. The school readiness groups are just pe activities or stories and crafts with a focus on phonics, maths etc so quite similar to what they do at preschool. I just want to keep her stimulated and having fun. We start school so early in the UK, even preschool they’re expected so much of!

It’s always good to know what you’re doing, especially with little ones. I am definitely not the sort of person who can get up in the morning and say “ok let’s go!” Without having thought about it all the night before. It’s great that you have a nice home ed community round you, they always seems to have the best activities going on. You guys are going to have a lovely time together

 

[al255]

My son has only just turned 3 and we’ve only just started

my 3 year old was 2 years and 9 months old when we started and it’s taken her till now to have no accidents daily!

 

[watermelon sugar]

Oh yeah I’m not thinking this is a diagnosis but she’s been a childminder for many years and I guess can see when a child is not at the same level as her peers? It may just be that she’s later to milestones I guess but I will keep an eye on it for now.

My husband has just texted again and said the childminder has dyspraxia herself and recognises it in our daughter. Like I said not taking it as a diagnosis but will keep an eye on it.

I think your gut instinct is valid and if you are worried you should 100% ask your GP It may not be but at least you can say you followed your concerns and got it checked out for your daughter and to put your mind at rest

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Me and mine have caught a cold from play group the other day. We’re both snotty and sneezing loads.
There was this girl with a snotty nose and her mum kept wiping her nose. We haven’t been unwell for AGES.

 

[Jellybean093]

You've never forgot in a rush?

Weird, but I’ve always pictured you as someone that goes commando

 

[WhatABore]

Thanks everyone. I know I said she seems clumsy but it is a bit more than that. She struggles with stairs when I see other kids her age straight up and down. I’ve never seen her run, she can do small jumps if she’s holding onto something but not on her own and she can’t hop and I know shouldn’t compare but I see so many kids her age do these things with ease. She can’t ride her scooter or her bike and I’ve taken her out plenty of times for practice.

I’ll take a look at the glue ear thing too. It’s something I struggled with as a child and had to have grommets but I don’t know if that means it’ll be an issue for her too.

My 5yo is exactly the same
She does run, but falls over constantly though.

She can ride a scooter now but not properly... She just constantly pushes with her food without really going anywhere.

She's always struggled with stairs and has fallen down god knows how many times.
Even now at 5, I make her come down on her bum a lot of the time because she just can't coordinate the stepping

 

[Borntorun]

Controversial question now.
Is 2 years old young to be potty trained? He turned 2 on Saturday and the last few days he’s really mastered the potty, he’s only had one accident and that was when we were out.
I just acted on the signs he was showing me and now I’m worrying it’s early.
My Nan made a sarky comment saying ‘wow he’s young to be doing that’
🥹🥹
I’m slightly smug because he was a premature baby, he was always later than any other baby the same age and my neice was born 4 days before he was and she has done EVERYTHING first, and this is the only thing hes done before her so I’m slightly smug deep down

There’s no such thing as too young, as soon as a child has the communication skills to let you know they need the toilet, they can do it. My eldest was trained by 21 months. And clearly you’ve managed it too - well done!

 

[Jellybean093]

Hi,

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Just need some advice on bedtime - every night it ends up with me getting shouty and my 3 year old in tears over books!!!!!!

Our bedtime routine is peaceful, quiet and it’s literally me and her. The iPad goes away after bathtime at 7.15pm and I always ask her to pick 2-3 books depending on how tired she is and then tell her to “say goodnight” to the rest of the books so she knows that’s it.

After I’ve read the books she’s picked herself she always gets in a screaming crying fit of being upset cos she wants another book that she hasn’t picked. I tell her before she picks the books you can’t have any more etc and it always ends up with her just SCREAMING, crying, and being upset before she goes to sleep and I’m sick of it. It’s stressing me out and I don’t want her to keep going to bed upset.

Any advice? It’s not as if she doesn’t understand cos some nights in the past it’s been fine and we’ve not had the tears! I’m at my wits end. I’m tired and it’s so hard when we’ve had a long day and the last thing I want to do at 7:35pm is get pissed off and it ruins my evening cos I’ve had a go at her! Just pissed off and don’t know what else to do.

Take away the iPad at 6. Leave her in bed with a nightlight and a book for her to read.
She’s probably just pushing your buttons, seeing how far she can get

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

 

[Jellybean093]

So tonight I asked her to pick 5 books, she went to bed at 7:15pn with her books. Out of the 5 we got through 2 cos she was tired, by 7:30pm she said she wanted some raisins.. ok.. then she ate 2 of them, then 7:40pm she’s screaming cos she wants some cereal. NO chance. I said if you’re hungry have your raisins, she’s purposely delaying bedtime. No drama over books, just pretending to be hungry! MORE tears from her and kicking off over pointless stuff, need to rant! I’ve had enough! It’s so hard on my own at times

Sorry, I quickly scanned this and I thought you said she ate 2 books

Yer, she’s definitely pushing your buttons. They all do it. It’s ‘I need a wee’ ‘one more sip of water’ ‘I’m hungry’
Tbh, I was a single parent to a 3 yo 10 years ago. I won’t lie to you and say it was all roses, coz it was shit. Hardest time of my life. I’ve never read a book to any of my children to bed, and if I’m honest, I’d they started playing up I’d tell them no, it’s bed time, go to bed, and if shut the door and go downstairs or in the front room. Yes it’s tough listening to the screams and whining, but they eventually get bored.
Maybe try and start a new routine with her. Give her a little snack before bed and tell her 1 book. Then when it’s finished, leave the room. Go back 20x if you have to, but this struggle will not last long

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I was going to say mine had it for ages he’s four now. Doesn’t seem to as much now but I try and scrub his scalp when I wash his hair ( in a nice way ) I think it just goes away on it’s own pretty much as they grow?

 

[Jellybean093]

Thank you! Glad to know I have some time before I need to deal with it, probably the milestone I’m looking forward to least

Yes. My middle 2 made potty training look easy, but it has always been my least favourite thing about these kids

 

[mumpty]

Yeah, my husband and I both have to wrestle my toddler into the car at 7am to go to nursery. We could leave an hour later but I’m too scared that on my own we’d never get anywhere

 

[I’mThankyou_]

What age do you start putting toddlers in pull-ups, is it mainly when they start potty training? For some reason my 20 month old's nappies have started to leak at the side at night- I've tried switching brands and sizes but the same thing happens. Wondering whether to try pull ups even though we probably won't potty train until she's turned 2 at least.

My toddlers have been in pullups since 6 months. I find them easier on the whole.
There's no right or wrong time to transition in to them.

My 10yo never went into pullups we just potty trained with a standard nappy.

 

[WhatABore]

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDAL TALK
Anyone else’s toddler just absolutely obsessed with their daddy? I thought it would be a phase for a few weeks and he’d get over it. But still months down the line he only wants his daddy. When he hurts himself, when he’s at the park, playing at home, getting out of his car seat, bathing and putting to bed, getting up in the morning.
He literally has a tantrum if he’s with me on my own and just cries ‘daddy’ all the time.
If I’m totally honest I feel so low and very upset by it. I had a traumatic birth following ivf with my son so the journey hasn’t been great, and I’ve always felt I’ve struggled with bonding, and this just makes it even harder and settles how I feel when I say I don’t have a good relationship with him.
I’m currently having counselling and EMDR therapy for my birth trauma although I’m in the early stages so not feeling much benefit right now. My son just hurt himself by hitting his head on the corner of the radiator and he let out the strangest cry and could tell he really hurt himself badly so I ran to him and tried to comfort him but he just pushed me away and cried more until his daddy came.
So I’ve just had to get out the house for a walk to try not to cry. I don’t know how much longer I can feel like this.
I spend more time with him as my husband works full time, I take him to fun places most days, I try so so hard to make his days exciting but this is how I get treated.
I just feel broken and totally useless.
I’ve really thought many times over the last few weeks I should just not be here anymore as i cause so much hassle & problems for people around me.
I really need to talk to someone about this as it’s really got to a bad stage now.

I don't have much advice and I'm sorry you're feeling this way.
I have 3 kids, 10, 5 and 2 next month.
And all 3 kids have "favoured" one parent.
With the 2 girls, it's been me. But with my son, it was always my partner.
Even now, he will go to my partner for almost everything.
But I'm the one that he's with 90% of the time as I don't work but my partner does.
Them pushing you away to get to the other parent does hurt.
But it doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
The girls adore their Dad. And I know my son adores me.
I think even as adults, we tend to gravitate more towards 1 parent. For me it was my Dad. I'd go to him for everything, tell him everything and if something went wrong, it would be him that I go to.

Your son being like that doesn't mean he doesn't want you there at all.
A lot of the time, it tends to be because they do see you more and they know you'll always be there. When his Dad isn't there, he knows you are.
I am sure your son adores you!

 

[al255]

I think we feel it more than them. Honestly bet she doesn’t even remember this morning
But glad you feel better

Yeah she gave me a huge cuddle when I got her and it lasted for 5 + mins it was just lovely, I told
Her I love her no matter what and it made me feel better! She looked shattered bless her

 

[PillowsofFluff]

Does anyone have any advice for helping my toddler with conjunctivitis? He’s just in pain bless him and he absolutely hates me wiping the gunk from his eyes. We went the gp this morning and they prescribed him chloramphenicol ointment. He was ok just full of gunk but still happy and playing but since i put the ointment in he’s been quiet and crying.

Oh bless him. My little girl had conjunctivitis a year or so ago, but she wasn't in pain with it and with the ointment it cleared really quickly. I caught it off her at the time, and it is horrible as your eyes are so itchy. I would say if he's no better in a day or two speak to the GP. Unfortunately there's not much can be done, just lots of cuddles

 

[al255]

Just need to rant…!!!

Got mini A from her dads and he said she was up at 3am asking him for the iPad after she needed a wee and a drink…! she’s gone to bed at 7pm cos she’s just exhausted.

He gave her a adult sized McFlurry at 4pm as I went to get her and I said are you fucking joking me? And as anticipated she didn’t eat her tea that I spent ages making I tried again at 6pm for her to eat her tea and she had a few mouthfuls. He knows full well no food past 3pm or else she doesn’t eat her tea. It winds me up so much.

He’s been in a foul mood all day cos “she woke up at 3am” and he couldn’t get back to sleep then expected me to drop my afternoon plans to get her earlier when he hasn’t seen her all week!

Not my problem hun. Where was my break when she was up early all week and I was feeling unwell. I still had to crack on (and had a good moan to you lot about it) but he literally has to do 10:30am Saturday to 4pm Sunday. It’s not much time given she’s asleep from 7:30pm till the following morning. Urgh!!!!!