Toddler advice thread #3

[al255]

Ahhh I’m too skint to do anything me

If it was me and her dad together with her everything would cost more, but cos it’s just us two it’s not as bad! Although I was looking at next years summer hol for 2 weeks abroad rather than 12 nights and it’s gunna cost me £2100 we don’t qualify for a free child’s place as it’s just us two, she’s the same price as me we do love haven though, we book a year in advance and it’s only £500 in July for a week

 

[watermelon sugar]

@strawberrysunshine_x Oh bless your little boy how is he doing? did the nursery feel bad. Hope he gets plenty of rest and isn’t feel as upset as yesterday!

 

[quinzel]

Hi everyone. My three year old son has done great with potty training and he very rarely has accidents now. At first we used to take the carry potty out with us but he’s getting great at using a normal toilet now so all good there. However he will still not poo anywhere but in a nappy. We still put a nappy on him at night currently but he insists on a nappy to poo in. We always try to get him to try the toilet or potty but he refuses. Part of me doesn’t want to push it in case it sets him back altogether, but realistically I know this can’t go on forever. When he’s at nursery he will usually wait until he gets home if he needs to poo. I’ve read this can be quite common with boys. Has anyone ever experienced this and if so did you overcome it and how?

 

[al255]

Sounds like a fun packed schedule. Mine is the same he doesn’t like being in at all. Not for a full day we always have to go out at some point.
Yeah it could be. Mine was doing it the other week. But the mornings are lighter lately that might have something to do with it ?

my friend made a good point this Morning and said the birds are up esrlier 🫠 she has a pitch black room so it’s not the light! Kids eh

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Something i’ve noticed since I’ve been a Mum is people LOVE to show off about their child and the worst thing is it’s mates who do it the most. When i’m on here no one seems to have the ‘my kid is doing so much and yours isn’t’ attitude but people i’m friends with in real life are. I have a friend who has a daughter 5 months younger than mine, and since she was born she’d make comments ALL the time. My son didn’t go in his own room till he was 2 and hers went in her own room at 6 months and she’d mention it ALL the time, whenever i’d see her she say how well her daughter sleeps in her room and say ‘do you get good sleep with him in with you?’ Every single time! then we’d see her fella and he’d say how they’ve been up all night so obvs it weren’t as perfect as she was making out
She was the same with speech our son never babbled and it used to worry me he never ever said ‘dada’ or ‘mama’ and when we’d be out with them he’d be silent and their daughter would be babbling and my friend would go ‘isn’t it mad how ours is 5 months younger but doing SO much more’
Some people like to paint out everything is perfect!

Also girls are soo much different to boys as kids aren’t they. Girls always seem to do things quick and everyone is like aww boys are so lazy about everything . I don’t mind some of the things but when it’s constant just feel like saying it’s not a competition. All kids are different and do things in their own way. Like my friends was counting to 20 when she was 2! She’s super smart
---

Don’t worry, loads of us cosleep. It’s about doing the right thing for your child. If her kid doesn’t need the kind of attachment yours does it just means they’re different- nothing else! Just try and laugh her off next time, at the end of the day you just do what’s right for your family, everyone is different.

Does anyone else’s in here love attachment?? I’m not sure If it is cos he as additional needs or because it just the way he is. But he is very sensitive. Last week I went to the bathroom at my mums and he was crying downstairs and when I got back he sat on my knee and buried his head in my chest bless him.

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

Has anyone had much success with a morning routine checklist type thing?
Mornings are ‍ with the 3yo and it's only going to get more chaotic when I go back to work soon! Thinking of a laminated checklist might motivate her, any thoughts?

 

[GlennCoco]

My son hasn’t been to see Santa yet my fella always works awkward times and every time we have both been free my sons been sick! By the time we’re all free and well he’ll be like listen Mum i know he’s not real

We're the same! I didnt want to take her when she was too young and then this Christmas just gone everywhere got booked up in September and I hadn't even thought about Christmas then!

 

[Jellybean093]

Any advice on potty training at night? My wee boy has been potty trained through the day for about 9 months now, still in a pull-up through the night. I know you can’t train them to go through the night, it’s about waiting for your hormone that regulates it to develop so I’m not stressing. He’s been dry in the morning every day for the past fortnight, bar one. Do I just bite the bullet and take the pull-up away completely? I have a waterproof mattress protector already. Was thinking of lifting him from bed when I’m going to bed, keeping the lights off and sitting him on the toilet for a half-asleep pee lol, do other people do that?

With my first 2, I put them on the toilet when I went to bed. My 3 yo was not interested in the slightest about doing this he has had a few accidents, more recently than when he first started, but we have pads, so it’s easy to clean up

 

[al255]

Does anyone else make meal after meal if their child doesn’t eat much of the one they’ve had for tea? My daughters asked for a picky tea, ham, grapes, crackers and garlic bread. She ate 2 slices of garlic bread and spat the ham out so I’ve just made her sausages, veg and eggs .. i really hate the thought of her going hungry and if she wakes up at 4am wanting food im the only one up with her. I know I shouldn’t and im not teaching her anything by making her more food if she doesn’t eat the first lot but she really is so fussy

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Thank you. Yes she goes to nursery two full days a week and I have my partner (her dad) parenting with me but it's always me she goes to because I'm the one with her the most. To the point that I can be in the shower and her dad will be in the same room with her literally sat with her but she will leave the room, come to the bathroom and ask me for something rather than asking her dad. I know my downside is not giving myself a break and not taking myself away enough so I really do need to do that. I think I need to find something to get me out and about more often, perhaps I should look on some local groups.

We do explain things to her and she does seem to understand it but then just doesn't want to take it on board. Nursery also say that they're having issues with her not listening and outright refusing to do things but apparently about 50% of her class are doing the same so I do wonder if it's behaviour they're all picking up from one another. You can literally say to her can you help me tidy up these toys and she will stomp her foot and shout NO! And throw a tantrum if you keep asking.... She's such a lovely little girl but when she's on one she can be awful and it just seems she's like that more often than not at the moment. I hope it's a phase and we'll be at the other end of it soon but I'm going to make it my goal for this week to just slow down a bit and make more time for myself and hopefully that'll make it easier to not end up snapping and then we can sit and talk things through together better.

Even getting out for a walk by yourself for half an hour a day might make a huge difference to you, I would say a bath but sounds like she’ll just bust in on you.

sounds a lot like all the kids at nursery are influencing each other, definitely. It will likely pass but you could try out a reward chart or something? Do you think she’d respond to that?

They have a lot of attitude sometimes at this age and it’s tiring. When I ask my daughter to help me tidy up (all her mess!) she says “but why do I have to do it?!” She actually hates tidying, she regularly missed out on treats at nursery because she wouldn’t help and now at school she’s the bloody same, little scroat she’s fully capable of being lovely and loving in every other way but doesn’t seem to have a tidy bone in her body.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

what’s been said? Is he ok.. are you ok?? Sending hugs xxxx

So Mini As sleep is still shit - bed at 8pm and up slightly later at 6:20am, moody and tired all day, crying, whining, everything wasn’t going her way! She told me at half 4 she was tired she lasted until 7:30pm and she just couldn’t keep her eyes open for the other half of her book…! She’s at her Dads tomorrow night then I’ve got a lovely child free break to Italy from Wednesday to Saturday so I can’t wait! She’s spending some much needed quality time with her Dad and I can’t wait

I’ll miss her of course but I just can’t wait to catch up on sleep and not have to worry about a 3 year old with me away. We are on hol in April for a week to Haven, May for 2 weeks to Spain and July again at Haven together so she’s got plenty of time with me away🥹

He just didn’t like them touching it. They took off the old cast and washed the pins etc and then redressed it but he was just really scared. Once we were out he was fine but it was just very stressful. We’re back in two weeks for them to be removed. He’s back at nursery on Monday thank god. A bit of normality for him. I’m going to take him for a nice walk somewhere tomorrow get out of the house.

have you beenaway without her before ! Maybe she is worrying about it ? It could be connected. Hopefully her sleep is just a phase. Mine did it around Christmas time.Waking up in the night. But he did it for about a week and then again a week later and now normal.
fingers crossed similar for you. Enjoy your break away think you deserve it x

 

[Jellybean093]

Omg I got the rage earlier as I was telling my partner I think she might need a doctors visit tomorrow and apparently he also feels a bit ill. He’s not the one who’s been coughed into their eyeballs all night. Although she did do him with an open mouth the other day which made me happy.

Disclaimer - I’m 34 weeks pregnant recently diagnosed with gestational diabetes and he has 3 nights out planned next week. We couldn’t go out last Saturday for my birthday as she wasn’t well and didnt want to leave her/infect anyone else, and he didn’t get me a present from my daughter. My sympathy is a bit low

Sorry, but coughed in his open mouth oh, these bloody men. If someone’s ill, they’re 100x worse. Surprised Mr B isn’t dying in bed of man flu. I’ve fully taken on that role as I never get ill, and when I do, I always power through it

He didn’t get you a birthday present from her? That’s a bit shitty of him. They never think, do they?

 

[Jellybean093]

Does anyone know what to expect with speech therapy? I mentioned before the preschool has referred my 3yo (with permission)
They actually really made me so angry yesterday. They phoned to book a couple of weeks ago for Friday just gone. All she said was ‘can you make this Friday?) didn’t give me a time, no letter was received, I didn’t even know the location!! Anyway, when she rang to rebook yesterday, she was pissed. Erm, how am I supposed to turn up when I’ve had nothing?? Didn’t even have a phone number to ring. She gave me 2 dates, but it’s my 6yo birthday and then his party and she was so huffy about it on the phone, I don’t even want to go. I explained I didn’t receive anything, so she said she’d send the next letter first class, which has just arrived, which makes me think she’s an absolute shite receptionist and didn’t get a letter sent last time

 

[SwizzleMalarkey]

Need some potty training advice, please!
My son is 3 and for the past few weeks he has been refusing to wear his nappy and taking it off at every opportunity, at home and nursery. The nursery said this is usually a great sign they are ready to potty train so we’ve tried this weekend but it’s been awful. He is equally as annoyed with the potty as his nappies and whenever we mention the potty he shouts/screams and will knock it over.
He has a speech delay but his understanding is there and he can say potty/poo/wee - but just refuses to use the potty. I would have just waited a few months and tried again but it’s an absolute battle to get him in his nappies too so it’s a lose/lose situation.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

You're far nicer than me, I just made our tea, 3yo didn't want it... Tough, that's all that's on offer

I know im a push over

 

[Kit123]

Hi,

I hope you’re ok.

My daughters Dad and I split up when she was 1, won’t go into detail of the why but she’s been very much used to the same routine.

She stays with me during the week and he comes round to see her on a Wednesday evening whilst I go to the gym and then we split the weekend. But I often get asked to pick her up abit earlier cos she’s crying for me, and she’s nearly 3! I spend a lot of time with her (I only work 3 days a week) and she’s mummy through and through.

my advice is keep a consistent routine for her going there and make sure when you get her back that you’re not stuck in the kitchen, or you’re not doing other things. I saw a video on this co parenting page about it and it said they have to transition back into their usual home. So for instance on the weekend day she’s coming back to me, I’ll make sure I’ve already prepped tea, and I can literally sit on the sofa with her and fill up her “emotional” cup, I’ll do whatever she wants me to do and I’ll spend quality time with her. I don’t do anything on the evening that she’s back apart from give her my full attention and I’ve found it works well.

I also found her dad coming here helped it cos she was still seeing him but she didn’t have to leave her home or me, whereas if she stayed there it wasn’t fair cos she was going here there and everywhere it felt and there was no need. We don’t argue and we are really civil now but it’s taken a year to get to this point! Let me tell you the amount of arguement we’d have at handover over stupid things and now we don’t even disagree really.

its hard at first but it gets easier xx

the behaviour is normal toddler behaviour though don’t worry xx

Thanks for this reply, I really appreciate it!
I work four days a week, only just dropped the Friday and she goes into nursery as well. We have been very civil and amicable, still message each other regularly about her and even went out all together for the evening. I'm hoping it continues because it's so much easier however makes me sad that why couldn't we get on actually living together.
I will try to actually spend more time with her I did drop the Friday so that we could have three full days together. It's hard when you finish work at half five though then got to get dinner sorted etc.
I did think it was less of an upheaval if she stayed at the house but I do wonder if it affects her.
The benefit for his end is he's gone back home so she is with his family as well.

 

[WhatABore]

Can you mix prunes in with her yoghurts? The pouch ones you can get from the supermarket? My sister nannies and the little girl has problems with pooing. She had to have something daily in her water. I think it’s a lot easier for her now x

Also, 3yo keeps weeing the bed. I’m at a loss. It’s like 4/5x a week for the last couple of weeks. He isn’t phased by it at all. I don’t know what to do with him. I don’t know if it’s because he’s just got over an ear infection, but it’s driving me mad!!

Was he fine before that?
My 4yo has only just stopped wetting the bed (well she was in pull ups) even though she's been potty trained since 2.

Can you put him in pull ups until you notice it's dry when he wakes up?

 

[Jellybean093]

What stroller have you got now? I’ve seen a few but there are so many! Trike is a good shout. We already have one so if all else fails we’ll be taking that with us

It’s a city jogger (not that I do jogging ) but it is such a lovely push and so small and easy. When I was pregnant with the baby, my toddler was about 18 months ish and I struggled pushing him in a buggy doing the school run, and he was too slow to walk it. The trike was honestly, the best Christmas present I have ever got a child. So lightweight and had a big basket thing. Was well worth every bit of money for us at that time!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

New thread

How’s yours getting on with her potty training now? Is she ok

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Does anyone else make meal after meal if their child doesn’t eat much of the one they’ve had for tea? My daughters asked for a picky tea, ham, grapes, crackers and garlic bread. She ate 2 slices of garlic bread and spat the ham out so I’ve just made her sausages, veg and eggs .. i really hate the thought of her going hungry and if she wakes up at 4am wanting food im the only one up with her. I know I shouldn’t and im not teaching her anything by making her more food if she doesn’t eat the first lot but she really is so fussy

This is difficult cos I kinda do keep offering mine different things if he doesn’t eat. If she asked for it why doesn’t she wanna eat it. If mine doesn’t eat the first I’ll make him something Small like cheese sandwich. egg on toast or even just toast and a yoghurt. Or cereal. Occasionally I’ll make another hot meal but it’s rare I do that. If she’s hungry she’ll eat it. Does she like ham and usually eat it?