Toddler advice thread #3

[Definitelyme]

I’m sure this has been mentioned on here before but - advice for a 17 month old who keeps hitting please!

I have an older child who is 5, but I didn’t have any of this with him. He is much more quiet and placid.

My super boisterous second child has started hitting. It’s happening a lot, when he’s being held or he goes up to people and hits them.

We have tried using a stern ‘no’, we have tried ignoring, we have tried explaining and modelling ‘gentle’ hands. Nothing has seemed to work so far.

Any advice greatly appreciated, this is new territory for us!

So hard because their understanding of what’s happening is still limited at that age - they don’t equate them moving their hands to pain for someone else.
I use positive phrases (eg “keep your hands down please”) rather than “don’t hit”
If it happens again I say “if you hit again I will put you down”
Then follow through without a word. Just set him down and move away. If he isn’t lifted up, just move away.
I wouldn’t ask a child that small to say sorry as there is no understanding of what they’ve done wrong or what sorry means in that situation.

I find a lot of the time it’s either over excitement or frustration, so watching out for those emotions can help sometimes

 

[HelloFreshDiscountCode]

Hi all, I haven’t read all the threads and I apologise if this has been asked before! I know you’re all in the same boat with being busy with little people so you won’t be too mad at me haha.

Master Fresh is due to turn 3 and we are having a hell of a time with hair washing! He has NEVER liked getting his head wet and that became mostly apparent at swimming lessons which we started at 6m through to about 2yo. I can’t think of any reason why except he just doesn’t like it
His hair got pretty gross so I washed it in the shower last night and he absolutely screamed the house down and cried for about an hour. It was pretty traumatic.

I’ve tried building up gently to getting his hair wet, wetting with a cloth, counting down, covering his face, being playful, singing songs … we even have “the man” who he baths with (a little toy construction man figurine ).

Has anyone been through this? Any tips please?

 

[HoneyBee29]

Has anyone had a 2 year old girl with a urine infection and what were the symptoms? My wee one hasn’t had much of an appetite since Friday, feels hot to touch, more clingy than usual and seems to be sleeping more than normal she usually doesn’t nap anymore during the day and she napped for a good few hrs yesterday and Saturday, she’s still on nappies but there’s no strong smell or anything so I’m not even sure if it’s a urine infection but she defiantly doesn’t seem like herself.

 

[Definitelyme]

Has anyone had a 2 year old girl with a urine infection and what were the symptoms? My wee one hasn’t had much of an appetite since Friday, feels hot to touch, more clingy than usual and seems to be sleeping more than normal she usually doesn’t nap anymore during the day and she napped for a good few hrs yesterday and Saturday, she’s still on nappies but there’s no strong smell or anything so I’m not even sure if it’s a urine infection but she defiantly doesn’t seem like herself.

Strong smell was one of the big indicators for me. If you’re not sure ring your GP and ask if they’ll test a wee sample.
---

Hi all, I haven’t read all the threads and I apologise if this has been asked before! I know you’re all in the same boat with being busy with little people so you won’t be too mad at me haha.

Master Fresh is due to turn 3 and we are having a hell of a time with hair washing! He has NEVER liked getting his head wet and that became mostly apparent at swimming lessons which we started at 6m through to about 2yo. I can’t think of any reason why except he just doesn’t like it
His hair got pretty gross so I washed it in the shower last night and he absolutely screamed the house down and cried for about an hour. It was pretty traumatic.

I’ve tried building up gently to getting his hair wet, wetting with a cloth, counting down, covering his face, being playful, singing songs … we even have “the man” who he baths with (a little toy construction man figurine ).

Has anyone been through this? Any tips please?

What is it he doesn’t like? My eldest son hates the water going in his eyes so he wears goggles which alleviates some of the screaming (and he’s 7 )
Could you try lying him on your kitchen surface over the sink and washing it that way?

 

[Jellybean093]

Hi all, I haven’t read all the threads and I apologise if this has been asked before! I know you’re all in the same boat with being busy with little people so you won’t be too mad at me haha.

Master Fresh is due to turn 3 and we are having a hell of a time with hair washing! He has NEVER liked getting his head wet and that became mostly apparent at swimming lessons which we started at 6m through to about 2yo. I can’t think of any reason why except he just doesn’t like it
His hair got pretty gross so I washed it in the shower last night and he absolutely screamed the house down and cried for about an hour. It was pretty traumatic.

I’ve tried building up gently to getting his hair wet, wetting with a cloth, counting down, covering his face, being playful, singing songs … we even have “the man” who he baths with (a little toy construction man figurine ).

Has anyone been through this? Any tips please?

I have no tips, but all my boys have been the same. They used to lay down and let me do it now they get all arsey if a bit of water goes in their eye. My eldest boy is 7 and will shower now, but my 3yo is in the bath, and moans. I just wash the hair quickly and try and avoid the eyes/face, but if it gets in their eyes, I just tell them to look up at the sky and then it won’t get in their face. This is also why i only wash with shampoo once or twice a week

 

[CheesyMarmite]

Has anyone had a 2 year old girl with a urine infection and what were the symptoms? My wee one hasn’t had much of an appetite since Friday, feels hot to touch, more clingy than usual and seems to be sleeping more than normal she usually doesn’t nap anymore during the day and she napped for a good few hrs yesterday and Saturday, she’s still on nappies but there’s no strong smell or anything so I’m not even sure if it’s a urine infection but she defiantly doesn’t seem like herself.

We had these kind of symptoms last June when my daughter had just turned 2
In the end, she was doing a small wee every 12-15 hours. I couldn't manage to catch a wee as a sample and ended up taking her to A&E.
The Dr we saw took one of the caplol type syringes and a cup of really cold water, basically freezing, and gave her a syringe full of water to drink every 10 seconds.
By the time the cup was finished she did a wee for a sample in the pot I was holding her down on. Confirmed urine infection and the antibiotics started helping within 24 hours.
If you cant get a sample, I'd suggest doing what we did and head to A&E where there might be a bit more success.
Hope she starts feeling better soon x

 

[Jellybean093]

Has anyone had a 2 year old girl with a urine infection and what were the symptoms? My wee one hasn’t had much of an appetite since Friday, feels hot to touch, more clingy than usual and seems to be sleeping more than normal she usually doesn’t nap anymore during the day and she napped for a good few hrs yesterday and Saturday, she’s still on nappies but there’s no strong smell or anything so I’m not even sure if it’s a urine infection but she defiantly doesn’t seem like herself.

Is a bellyache a symptom?
My eldest has a couple when she was about 4, and they scanned her etc and said she needs to drink more water. Since that day, she’s been fine

 

[beeeetlejuice]

Hi! I’ve just found this thread and thought I’d ask here as I keep getting conflicting information from good old google…

My 2 year old keeps head butting the floor & doors when he’s told no/told off. Like full on nutting it, to the point where he’s now got a bruise on his forehead
As soon as I can see him going to do it I stop him obviously, but it’s hard cause he does it so quick!

Is this a common thing? My girl never did it! The only thing I can really find on google is that it’s a trait of autism, but he shows no other traits.
Anyway, any advice would be appreciated!
X

 

[HoneyBee29]

We had these kind of symptoms last June when my daughter had just turned 2
In the end, she was doing a small wee every 12-15 hours. I couldn't manage to catch a wee as a sample and ended up taking her to A&E.
The Dr we saw took one of the caplol type syringes and a cup of really cold water, basically freezing, and gave her a syringe full of water to drink every 10 seconds.
By the time the cup was finished she did a wee for a sample in the pot I was holding her down on. Confirmed urine infection and the antibiotics started helping within 24 hours.
If you cant get a sample, I'd suggest doing what we did and head to A&E where there might be a bit more success.
Hope she starts feeling better soon x

She seems to still be peeing quite regularly as nappies are still full enough but I’ll keep an eye on them, she’s still drinking plenty of fluids just not really eating. I might try and get a sample from her today and give them a phone in the morning. Thank you for your help and advice
---

Is a bellyache a symptom?
My eldest has a couple when she was about 4, and they scanned her etc and said she needs to drink more water. Since that day, she’s been fine

No doesn’t appear to have a sore tummy from what I can see. She’s good and drinking fluids and still seems to be drinking quite often as her nappy’s are still full enough but think I’m gonna phone the doctor in the morning thank you.

 

[HoneyBee29]

She had a cold not even 2 weeks ago and just noticed one ear is a bit red and she’d been pulling on her ears quite a lot a few days ago so maybe actually an ear infection.

 

[WhatABore]

She had a cold not even 2 weeks ago and just noticed one ear is a bit red and she’d been pulling on her ears quite a lot a few days ago so maybe actually an ear infection.

Doesn't seem like she's got any uti symptoms but that certainly sounds like it could be her ears

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Hi all, I haven’t read all the threads and I apologise if this has been asked before! I know you’re all in the same boat with being busy with little people so you won’t be too mad at me haha.

Master Fresh is due to turn 3 and we are having a hell of a time with hair washing! He has NEVER liked getting his head wet and that became mostly apparent at swimming lessons which we started at 6m through to about 2yo. I can’t think of any reason why except he just doesn’t like it
His hair got pretty gross so I washed it in the shower last night and he absolutely screamed the house down and cried for about an hour. It was pretty traumatic.

I’ve tried building up gently to getting his hair wet, wetting with a cloth, counting down, covering his face, being playful, singing songs … we even have “the man” who he baths with (a little toy construction man figurine ).

Has anyone been through this? Any tips please?

You can get these hair washing hats that go on their heads from Amazon and the water won’t go in their eyes at all, it’s a bit like a big visor. My husband had one when he was little ()

my mum and dad used to give me a flannel to hold against my eyes so no suds went in my eyes.

is it suds/water in his eyes or is it getting his hair wet that he doesn’t like? My daughter went through a stage of screaming her head off when she got her clothes wet - I think it’s a common sensory issue for them….

 

[swimming]

Only me again, dipping in with another issue! Lol
My little one is 21 months old and since he was 5 months old he has had a bath every single night. I’ve never skipped it. Xmas, holidays etc…. He’s HAD that damn bath.

However, tonight is the second night in a row he has become hysterical. Really panicked crying and real tears as soon as he hears the bath running. The crying carries on for about an hour into bedtime too - standing up in his cot screaming.

this is alien to me. It has always been a lovely calm routine of bath, bottle, cuddle, story bed, sleep.

I should also mention he’s also become scared/refused his milk. 9 days in a row now he’s pushed it away and hasn’t had any milk at all. Not too concerned cos he drinks loads of water.

please tell me this is a phase? It’s really distressing for me.

 

[GlennCoco]

Only me again, dipping in with another issue! Lol
My little one is 21 months old and since he was 5 months old he has had a bath every single night. I’ve never skipped it. Xmas, holidays etc…. He’s HAD that damn bath.

However, tonight is the second night in a row he has become hysterical. Really panicked crying and real tears as soon as he hears the bath running. The crying carries on for about an hour into bedtime too - standing up in his cot screaming.

this is alien to me. It has always been a lovely calm routine of bath, bottle, cuddle, story bed, sleep.

I should also mention he’s also become scared/refused his milk. 9 days in a row now he’s pushed it away and hasn’t had any milk at all. Not too concerned cos he drinks loads of water.

please tell me this is a phase? It’s really distressing for me.

We had a similar issue with bath time. Think our little girl was a little older but my god it was like she was being murdered every night!

We tried everything - getting in the bath with her, letting her go to the shop and pick out a new special bath time toy etc.

The only thing that seemed to work was taking her swimming. It took me an hour to get her to even dip her toes in but not much longer than that and she was splashing around and I couldn't get her out. After that she has been fine.

Do you take him swimming?

 

[Borntorun]

Only me again, dipping in with another issue! Lol
My little one is 21 months old and since he was 5 months old he has had a bath every single night. I’ve never skipped it. Xmas, holidays etc…. He’s HAD that damn bath.

However, tonight is the second night in a row he has become hysterical. Really panicked crying and real tears as soon as he hears the bath running. The crying carries on for about an hour into bedtime too - standing up in his cot screaming.

this is alien to me. It has always been a lovely calm routine of bath, bottle, cuddle, story bed, sleep.

I should also mention he’s also become scared/refused his milk. 9 days in a row now he’s pushed it away and hasn’t had any milk at all. Not too concerned cos he drinks loads of water.

please tell me this is a phase? It’s really distressing for me.

We had this, and solved the issue by doing bathtime straight after tea and giving her pudding to eat in the bath while we did her hair. I can wash hair while she eats an ice lolly and job done, no fuss

 

[quinzel]

Hi everyone. My three year old son has done great with potty training and he very rarely has accidents now. At first we used to take the carry potty out with us but he’s getting great at using a normal toilet now so all good there. However he will still not poo anywhere but in a nappy. We still put a nappy on him at night currently but he insists on a nappy to poo in. We always try to get him to try the toilet or potty but he refuses. Part of me doesn’t want to push it in case it sets him back altogether, but realistically I know this can’t go on forever. When he’s at nursery he will usually wait until he gets home if he needs to poo. I’ve read this can be quite common with boys. Has anyone ever experienced this and if so did you overcome it and how?

 

[PillowsofFluff]

Hi everyone. My three year old son has done great with potty training and he very rarely has accidents now. At first we used to take the carry potty out with us but he’s getting great at using a normal toilet now so all good there. However he will still not poo anywhere but in a nappy. We still put a nappy on him at night currently but he insists on a nappy to poo in. We always try to get him to try the toilet or potty but he refuses. Part of me doesn’t want to push it in case it sets him back altogether, but realistically I know this can’t go on forever. When he’s at nursery he will usually wait until he gets home if he needs to poo. I’ve read this can be quite common with boys. Has anyone ever experienced this and if so did you overcome it and how?

No advice as we still haven't potty trained, but Eric may be a good resource?

Children who will only poo in a nappy and other toilet avoiders - ERIC

 

[saltandvinegarcrisps]

Only me again, dipping in with another issue! Lol
My little one is 21 months old and since he was 5 months old he has had a bath every single night. I’ve never skipped it. Xmas, holidays etc…. He’s HAD that damn bath.

However, tonight is the second night in a row he has become hysterical. Really panicked crying and real tears as soon as he hears the bath running. The crying carries on for about an hour into bedtime too - standing up in his cot screaming.

this is alien to me. It has always been a lovely calm routine of bath, bottle, cuddle, story bed, sleep.

I should also mention he’s also become scared/refused his milk. 9 days in a row now he’s pushed it away and hasn’t had any milk at all. Not too concerned cos he drinks loads of water.

please tell me this is a phase? It’s really distressing for me.

Just do a body wash with a Face cloth for a couple nights, run bath... really shallow. No pressure to get in. Get him to help you wash his toys in the bath... maybe a colourful bath bomb... we had similar and before we knew it he was climbing back in. Also he was scared of him or his toys going down the plug with the water! So don't empty water til child and toys are out. Was a phase for us... but didn't last long

 

[WhatABore]

Hi everyone. My three year old son has done great with potty training and he very rarely has accidents now. At first we used to take the carry potty out with us but he’s getting great at using a normal toilet now so all good there. However he will still not poo anywhere but in a nappy. We still put a nappy on him at night currently but he insists on a nappy to poo in. We always try to get him to try the toilet or potty but he refuses. Part of me doesn’t want to push it in case it sets him back altogether, but realistically I know this can’t go on forever. When he’s at nursery he will usually wait until he gets home if he needs to poo. I’ve read this can be quite common with boys. Has anyone ever experienced this and if so did you overcome it and how?

What happens if you refuse to put one on?

Can you try a sticker chart, even a sweet of some kind (we used smarties with my son)
When he requests a nappy, take him to the toilet to sit on and even take a book to read with him?

 

[Emsie]

Hi! I’ve just found this thread and thought I’d ask here as I keep getting conflicting information from good old google…

My 2 year old keeps head butting the floor & doors when he’s told no/told off. Like full on nutting it, to the point where he’s now got a bruise on his forehead
As soon as I can see him going to do it I stop him obviously, but it’s hard cause he does it so quick!

Is this a common thing? My girl never did it! The only thing I can really find on google is that it’s a trait of autism, but he shows no other traits.
Anyway, any advice would be appreciated!
X

My little boy did this. He was a bit younger than 2 and it was a short lived phase. What's his speech like? Ours was definitely frustration and not being able to articulate himself.
We learnt lots of ways of saying no without using the word "no" ... And distraction rather than the word no.
As I say the headbutting was short lived and then we moved to throwing 🫣