Toddler advice thread #3

[strawberrysunshine_x]

My daughters 3rd birthday today. Had a lovely day out, in the car on the way home she said my head hurts and I presumed she’s just got a headache/feeling abit icky as it’s been a long day.

We got home and she was fast asleep by half 5 she’s woke up for a drink on and off and to top it off the monitor charger has broke so I’m having to leave my door open so I can hear her. I’m PRAYING she doesn’t wake up at 4am also…. Doesn’t time fly! How is she 3!!!!

Happy birthday mini a. Hope she’s ok. Did she sleep well

Mine slept 7 til 550!! Not a peep out of him. I can’t complain

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Yup, and my husband normally gives up and goes to the spare bed. If my toddler had a bigger bed I think it would make things a lot easier as he would just sleep with him from there. I do wonder if it’s due to the baby that he wants to be in here too.

I don’t mind, except for when he wakes up when I’m feeding the baby. Gets right in the babies face and goes WHAT ARE YOU DOING

I was sleeping in my daughters double bed in her room a week up until I went into labour when she decided she wanted daddy to. But she has said she wants to come and sleep with me. She’s fine in her bed with her dad but so emotional in the day. He’s only a week old so hoping it will settle down and she’ll stay in there.

How do you keep it safe for both? Atm me and the baby sleep in the middle so I don’t worry about him falling out.

 

[Megatron1298]

I was sleeping in my daughters double bed in her room a week up until I went into labour when she decided she wanted daddy to. But she has said she wants to come and sleep with me. She’s fine in her bed with her dad but so emotional in the day. He’s only a week old so hoping it will settle down and she’ll stay in there.

How do you keep it safe for both? Atm me and the baby sleep in the middle so I don’t worry about him falling out.

Ahh I have a snuzpod that he goes into to keep him safe, no controlling those toddlers limbs during the night. At this very minute my son has somehow turned himself upside down so his feet are on his pillow. No doubt he will be back in our room in a few hours

I would try again for your husband to sleep with her, it’s so hard having both solo during the night especially when baby is waking every few hours.

 

[al255]

Happy birthday mini a. Hope she’s ok. Did she sleep well

Mine slept 7 til 550!! Not a peep out of him. I can’t complain

thank you Strawberry xx

She woke up at 5am (as expected…..) starving! I’m borrowing my friends baby monitor tonight as I slept awfully bad, I can’t hear her even with my door open and I ain’t going through that again. I’ve got one to pick up tomorrow as I can’t get it for tonight. Mini A won’t get out of bed and come into my room if she wakes up, she stays firmly in bed it’s just her room is the other side of the house in a sense but I ain’t doing it again, I need my sleep

With the baby monitor I can have it on low and it’ll wake me up anyway so I’d rather be in a deep sleep I’m exhausted!….what a day I’ve had at work, I’m so tired.

 

[Higuyswelcometomychannel]

Struggled parenting my three year old today. Not listening at all, doing stupid tit all the time (pouring milk on the table ffs), and just generally grinding all my gears. I was in a cycle of shouting and I hate it! Anyone got any tricks/methods to keep yourself calm in those situations?!

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Struggled parenting my three year old today. Not listening at all, doing stupid tit all the time (pouring milk on the table ffs), and just generally grinding all my gears. I was in a cycle of shouting and I hate it! Anyone got any tricks/methods to keep yourself calm in those situations?!

It can be really challenging when they have days like that.

I try and keep intent at the front of my mind - like *usually* my little girl isn’t meaning to be a little you now what, it’s part of her learning or what ever and that softens my view of things. The other is something my boss said to me; if you start shouting where do you go from there?

You can also try putting on an activity you know will help you both - whether it’s getting outside for a bit or, I really recommend trying children’s mindfulness/meditation- there’s loads on YouTube and you can do the exercises with your child which will help keep you calm (I recommend the mindfulness video the pond). Also just taking some slow deep breaths and looking out the window helps.

If all else fails I’ve always found snapping these hangers into little pieces really helps release my tension…so treat yourself and take yourself off to the bedroom for a bit… you’ll come back totally refreshed.

 

[WhatABore]

It can be really challenging when they have days like that.

I try and keep intent at the front of my mind - like *usually* my little girl isn’t meaning to be a little you now what, it’s part of her learning or what ever and that softens my view of things. The other is something my boss said to me; if you start shouting where do you go from there?

You can also try putting on an activity you know will help you both - whether it’s getting outside for a bit or, I really recommend trying children’s mindfulness/meditation- there’s loads on YouTube and you can do the exercises with your child which will help keep you calm (I recommend the mindfulness video the pond). Also just taking some slow deep breaths and looking out the window helps.

If all else fails I’ve always found snapping these hangers into little pieces really helps release my tension…so treat yourself and take yourself off to the bedroom for a bit… you’ll come back totally refreshed.

How did you come across the coat hanger thing?

 

[DaisyDaisy87]

If all else fails I’ve always found snapping these hangers into little pieces really helps release my tension…so treat yourself and take yourself off to the bedroom for a bit… you’ll come back totally refreshed.

This is oddly specific. Are you okay?

 

[WeHadFunRight]

How did you come across the coat hanger thing?

Having to take myself off upstairs - started to put some clothes away and one broke as I was putting a dress on it, then I found they snap like twigs and it’s oddly/hugely satisfying!

 

[Hushpuppy]

Having to take myself off upstairs - started to put some clothes away and one broke as I was putting a dress on it, then I found they snap like twigs and it’s oddly/hugely satisfying!

Brb. Off to buy some hangers and snap them all in one go. It's been a day

 

[Kit123]

Struggled parenting my three year old today. Not listening at all, doing stupid tit all the time (pouring milk on the table ffs), and just generally grinding all my gears. I was in a cycle of shouting and I hate it! Anyone got any tricks/methods to keep yourself calm in those situations?!

I get this, had a bad day yesterday! My two year old wouldn't get dressed so didn't get her out to the park. She was just mental all day, made a MASSIVE mess. Would not nap then had a meltdown because she ended up falling asleep at like five and I had to wake her up to feed her dinner so obviously she was grumpy. I'm in absolute agony with my RA and when I tried to hold her to calm her down she was kicking everywhere and kicked me in the chin. I lost it tbh and shouted. Told her she could go to bed without dinner (obviously I wasn't go to) I got so fed up with it because it was just relentless screaming. Throwing herself on the floor etc. I feel bad about it and apologised for shouting when I took her to bed. She did calm down and eat her dinner in the end but it was just awful.
I read a book on how to manage tantrums but find that none of the strategies work because when she's that bad she just won't stop for ages.

 

[Callan]

My kid is 24 months and some days are straight out of a bad dream and I'm running on fumes it feels.. when they get really bad it's best to walk away and have a few minutes alone if possible, of course if they are in a safe space alone or if someone can look after them. That bit of time for my mind to calm down from stress and overwhelmed feelings does make it easier to deal with things.

Sometimes a time-out to just let them vent and get it out also works, as long as they are in a baby proof space if left alone till they get it out of their system works too.

I just try to remember that life is hard for us adults as is, and it must be really tough for babies with few tools to express and logically compartmentalize their feelings and emotions. It's a process that is tough but we all get through it.

 

[al255]

Mini A woke up today being sick…..! Saying her throat and head hurts. Been sick a few times since, GP appt at 11am. We were meant to have her 3rd bday photoshoot this afternoon but postponed it till next week, she isn’t right

 

[PillowsofFluff]

I'm wondering if mini Pillows sleep problems are because we dropped the nap and she's getting massively overtired and that's causing the wake ups.
Seems to have all gone haywire since we stopped at Christmas.
Or maybe I'm overthinking it

 

[Higuyswelcometomychannel]

I just find the shouting (my shouting) so awful but can’t stop once I’m wound up, or at least it takes a lot for me to calm down from it. I apologise every single time, but if I find it upsetting my kid just find it awful.

Ended up getting him in bed with me at midnight because I felt so guilty. I kept my cool this morning when he managed to pour a yogurt all over himself (a few moments away to get new trousers, and chant a mantra of “it was an accident, choose kindness” did the trick)

My mother wasn’t the most maternal (she had narcissistic traits and I have lots of stuff I’ve tried to work through thanks to her, all unresolved because she died), I have an ultimate fear of my kids resenting me like I do/did her.

I just want to do better.

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Nice to know I’m not the only one. We have a new baby in the house now and my three year old is really testing the boundaries and attention seeking through her behaviour. I dealt with it all so well until bedtime when she ramped it right up and I shouted at her before bed. She went to sleep with her dad screaming and woke up screaming. It feels so relentless atm.

 

[Higuyswelcometomychannel]

Nice to know I’m not the only one. We have a new baby in the house now and my three year old is really testing the boundaries and attention seeking through her behaviour. I dealt with it all so well until bedtime when she ramped it right up and I shouted at her before bed. She went to sleep with her dad screaming and woke up screaming. It feels so relentless atm.

yeah… my shouting has definitely gotten worse since the second one came along. Even less time to recharge my parenting battery, I guess. These are definitely the trenches.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

It’s a balance between protecting them and protecting yourself.

I used to find Saturdays the hardest and I realised that part of it was an expectation vs reality issue for me - I longed for Saturdays as I work full time and felt like I never got to see her so I thought oooh this is my chance and we’ll have a lovely day but it would always end in tears for at least one of us (for a while) until I had a chance to reflect and realised my expectations for the day were a bit skewed and that I had to take into account more of what was happening from her point of view (excitement, but also being out of routine from nursery, tiredness from being excited etc…) once I learnt to chill out a bit and be less “we have to achieve this, and this, and this” and be more flexible and fluid things on both sides improved….

I keep the way felt growing up in a house of shouting in my mind and I don’t want that for mine…. My husband _never_ shouts so it really accentuates if I do. Sometimes if I can’t escape the situation rather than shouting I opt to go a bit robotic and monotone and just get myself through the motions (lasts minutes), then that can kind of re-jig things as such and you’ve moved through the moment, you don’t shout and they’ve not really noticed that they’ve just sent you to hell and back!

I’ve also heard screaming into a tea towel works too - didn’t work for me, hence my predilection for coat hangers. You find your thing that helps. As long as it’s out of the room and away from them. Apparently staring out the window at something green helps a lot too.

Parenthood is a lesson in resilience.

 

[Meg78]

Can I ask what car seat everyone is using? I’ve got a 360 and my 3 year old has hit the max height already (104cm) I need to find a high backed booster seat, ideally I-size and side impact protection and something a Houdini can’t get out of, but there’s a billion different ones out there and I don’t know where to start!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Can I ask what car seat everyone is using? I’ve got a 360 and my 3 year old has hit the max height already (104cm) I need to find a high backed booster seat, ideally I-size and side impact protection and something a Houdini can’t get out of, but there’s a billion different ones out there and I don’t know where to start!

My friend has this one for her little girl who is 3 nearly 4 and she says it’s great.
From Argos. She only got it a month or 2 ago