Toddler Advice Thread #2

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I don’t need to ask. I get ‘do they need a bath tonight?’ I mean, you’re the parent too? Can you not decide whether they need a bath? the 2 younger boys have baths every school night. My 6yo has a shower every night. Yet, he still questions bath time?
He also doesn’t ask so he will do it. He asks so he runs a bath and leaves me to deal with them 🫠
I’ve said it in the baby thread, but I had a few nights away with the girls in August and had to write him a list. And he got his mum over to stay the whole time I was gone. Yet, when he went away a couple of months before, I literally done everything on my own?!
I just don’t get their mentality?

Omg this !!! Mine would defo set up camp at his mothers ! He was saying his mate who has a baby and his wife ( who were hard core drinkers ) are always taking their bub to the pub & that one of them is always going out or away and he said we haven’t had a night away from ours. I was like erm you mean I haven’t ?!! He’s been on golf trips etc.
and he said you can go no one is stopping you. I said no way am I leaving our son with you for a week
He will sometimes say I’ll run the bath or start bath time without me prompting but that’s hardly ever !!

Does anyone have a fella who does things off their own initiative??!

 

[WhatABore]

So I bought some ibroprofen thanks to everyone's advice.

I called 111 again because she keeps being sick and her temperature was above 40 this morning.
111 have said "You've already been told what it is, we can't do any more for you. Try to calm your worries and listen to the doctor"

I get i might be being over anxious. But surely being sick and everything isn't normal for "Probably just a respitory tract infection"
4 days straight of raised temperature and everything else with no sign of it easing up.

I've been told what it "Probably" is. Not exactly what it is
How many times do you see stories of really ill children when it's written off as just a viral infection?

 

[quinzel]

Generally my OH is pretty good at using his initiative (we have made up this morning and he apologised!) but there are some things that just make you go “what planet are you living on?!”. I’ve been away for the odd night and he’s been fine with him on his own and no disasters occurred lol.

So I bought some ibroprofen thanks to everyone's advice.

I called 111 again because she keeps being sick and her temperature was above 40 this morning.
111 have said "You've already been told what it is, we can't do any more for you. Try to calm your worries and listen to the doctor"

I get i might be being over anxious. But surely being sick and everything isn't normal for "Probably just a respitory tract infection"
4 days straight of raised temperature and everything else with no sign of it easing up.

I've been told what it "Probably" is. Not exactly what it is
How many times do you see stories of really ill children when it's written off as just a viral infection?

That’s so awful, I hope she starts to feel better soon. I would honestly keep on at them if you feel something isn’t right. It feels like they explain everything as a viral infection (conveniently as there’s no treatment for it) x

 

[Definitelyme]

@WhatABore that is awful! Can you take her to your own doctor? Or even if you have a&e? Our a&e is really great about seeing kids first, and I would imagine that since her temp has been up for so long, and is so high, they’d happily see her.

 

[WhatABore]

@WhatABore that is awful! Can you take her to your own doctor? Or even if you have a&e? Our a&e is really great about seeing kids first, and I would imagine that since her temp has been up for so long, and is so high, they’d happily see her.

Own doctor is impossible.
They're awful.
We tried before 111 on Friday. Called the minute they opened, "Queue full" tried 20 minutes later "Queue full" the tried every 10 minutes for the next hour until it then went to "Sorry, all our phone call appointments are now full"

Tried the same again today. Can't get through.

A&E is going to be my next option.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Own doctor is impossible.
They're awful.
We tried before 111 on Friday. Called the minute they opened, "Queue full" tried 20 minutes later "Queue full" the tried every 10 minutes for the next hour until it then went to "Sorry, all our phone call appointments are now full"

Tried the same again today. Can't get through.

A&E is going to be my next option.

I would defo take her to a&e. A temperature of 40 is really bad. I can’t believe they’ve fobbed you off with that!!!

 

[WhatABore]

I would defo take her to a&e. A temperature of 40 is really bad. I can’t believe they’ve fobbed you off with that!!!

She fell asleep last night whilst begging me to get a doctor to make her feel better.
I just sat sobbing at the end of her bed

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

She fell asleep last night whilst begging me to get a doctor to make her feel better.
I just sat sobbing at the end of her bed

You poor things, I agree with the others, I'd be off to A&E, it's gone on long enough.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

She fell asleep last night whilst begging me to get a doctor to make her feel better.
I just sat sobbing at the end of her bed

So sorry you’re going through this

 

[quinzel]

@WhatABore let us know how you get on at A&E, best wishes to your wee one x

 

[Jellybean093]

Omg this !!! Mine would defo set up camp at his mothers ! He was saying his mate who has a baby and his wife ( who were hard core drinkers ) are always taking their bub to the pub & that one of them is always going out or away and he said we haven’t had a night away from ours. I was like erm you mean I haven’t ?!! He’s been on golf trips etc.
and he said you can go no one is stopping you. I said no way am I leaving our son with you for a week
He will sometimes say I’ll run the bath or start bath time without me prompting but that’s hardly ever !!

Does anyone have a fella who does things off their own initiative??!

Who wants to take their babies/toddlers (even worse!!!!) to a pub??
The only thing Mr B initiates is sex, and that’s because I can go forever without it

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Who wants to take their babies/toddlers (even worse!!!!) to a pub??
The only thing Mr B initiates is sex, and that’s because I can go forever without it

I know !!! I won’t take mine anywhere like that.

 

[al255]

@WhatABore hope your little one gets sorted sorry it’s been dragged out and I hope you get some answers and she starts getting better xxx

 

[WhatABore]

Thank you everyone.
We're currently sat in a room waiting to be seen!
She's fast asleep!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Thank you everyone.
We're currently sat in a room waiting to be seen!
She's fast asleep!

On I’m so glad you’re there !!! No better place really. Hopefully it won’t be too much of a wait. Bless her least she’s sleeping I guess

 

[al255]

So I just need to rant about my Daughters Dad.

My daughters dad & I split the weekend - So one of us has her Friday - Saturday and Saturday to Sunday (she stays with me from Sunday afternoon, all week until the weekend). It works well for us both as we get some of the weekend to ourselves.

Now. It’s probably three times a year that she will stay Friday - Sunday. The weekend just gone she did as we had just got back off holiday on the Wednesday and I had plans with my friends.

EVERY time she stays for 2 nights it’s like he can’t cope and everything he’s learn about parenting in the last nearly 3 years goes out the bleeping window and he hasn’t got a clue.

She slept badly Friday and Saturday night, apparently she was up quite a lot of the night just unsettled which is understandable given she had just spent 9/10 days& nights solid with me. He told me on the Saturday he wanted her to come here and he would sleep downstairs and I said no. Mainly because it’s my only full weekend to myself, I had loads of washing to do, tidying up and I wanted to enjoy a Sunday in peace. Selfish I know but I didn’t care at that point, I’d just taken us away on holiday and didn’t get a break (my choice I know)

He kept moaning he was tired and he can’t function bla bla bla, I just get on with my day on both Saturday & Sunday. Sunday comes around and I wake up to a text that says “come and get her at 10am” baring in mind I hadn’t done a food shop, I’d only just woke up at 9:30am cos I was having a much needed, well deserved lie in!!!! And I firmly said no I’ll get her after lunch as I needed to get up, have a shower and go to the shops to do a big food shop. I wasn’t rushing round

I pick her up at 12:30pm and we go to my dads, I notice a burn on her wrist and I text him asking
Him what’s happened cos it didn’t happen with me. We came off hol Wednesday and got a takeaway and Thursday we had oven food so there was NO way she did that with me. Anyway. He said she tried to grab something off the stove and burnt her wrist however she didn’t cry (absolute bullshit cos she won’t even let me touch it to but cream on it), anyway. He didn’t tell me she had done it. I had to see it for myself! He didn’t seem to give a tit, the story of what happened didn’t really add up. So then at nursery pick up today I got questioned and I just told them the truth about it. I said I went mad at Dad cos he doesn’t seem to realise it could have been a hot pan she grabbed and there is NO way in my Care that would have happened.

She knows full well when mummy is cooking to keep away from the cooker and oven and she knows it’s hot cos she goes “ahhh, ahhh” with her hand pretending.

I just feel like I can’t even leave her for a weekend cos something will happen, i feel guilty for having a weekend to myself which I really needed cos I was full of a cold. The last time she went to his for a full weekend she had conjunctivitis and he didn’t do anything about it, gave her to me on Sunday and I had to deal with an unhappy child all week.

I just get so pissed off cos why is it such hard work for him to just look after his child and not moan, or for something to not go wrong or for her to get injured. I’ve said she isn’t going this weekend and he said ok, he’s got a football game on Saturday anyway. I’m just sick of it. All weekend he expected me to come and get her cos he was tired and I just think GET A bleeping GRIP!!!!!! We are all tired! We all have jobs and other things going on. I just needed to rant cos I’m completely pissed off at his lack of giving a duck about her burning herself and I feel guilty I left her for a weekend. I don’t expect anyone to reply to my mega rant just led in bed fuming over the weekend and his crappy parenting

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

So I just need to rant about my Daughters Dad.

My daughters dad & I split the weekend - So one of us has her Friday - Saturday and Saturday to Sunday (she stays with me from Sunday afternoon, all week until the weekend). It works well for us both as we get some of the weekend to ourselves.

Now. It’s probably three times a year that she will stay Friday - Sunday. The weekend just gone she did as we had just got back off holiday on the Wednesday and I had plans with my friends.

EVERY time she stays for 2 nights it’s like he can’t cope and everything he’s learn about parenting in the last nearly 3 years goes out the bleeping window and he hasn’t got a clue.

She slept badly Friday and Saturday night, apparently she was up quite a lot of the night just unsettled which is understandable given she had just spent 9/10 days& nights solid with me. He told me on the Saturday he wanted her to come here and he would sleep downstairs and I said no. Mainly because it’s my only full weekend to myself, I had loads of washing to do, tidying up and I wanted to enjoy a Sunday in peace. Selfish I know but I didn’t care at that point, I’d just taken us away on holiday and didn’t get a break (my choice I know)

He kept moaning he was tired and he can’t function bla bla bla, I just get on with my day on both Saturday & Sunday. Sunday comes around and I wake up to a text that says “come and get her at 10am” baring in mind I hadn’t done a food shop, I’d only just woke up at 9:30am cos I was having a much needed, well deserved lie in!!!! And I firmly said no I’ll get her after lunch as I needed to get up, have a shower and go to the shops to do a big food shop. I wasn’t rushing round

I pick her up at 12:30pm and we go to my dads, I notice a burn on her wrist and I text him asking
Him what’s happened cos it didn’t happen with me. We came off hol Wednesday and got a takeaway and Thursday we had oven food so there was NO way she did that with me. Anyway. He said she tried to grab something off the stove and burnt her wrist however she didn’t cry (absolute bullshit cos she won’t even let me touch it to but cream on it), anyway. He didn’t tell me she had done it. I had to see it for myself! He didn’t seem to give a tit, the story of what happened didn’t really add up. So then at nursery pick up today I got questioned and I just told them the truth about it. I said I went mad at Dad cos he doesn’t seem to realise it could have been a hot pan she grabbed and there is NO way in my Care that would have happened.

She knows full well when mummy is cooking to keep away from the cooker and oven and she knows it’s hot cos she goes “ahhh, ahhh” with her hand pretending.

I just feel like I can’t even leave her for a weekend cos something will happen, i feel guilty for having a weekend to myself which I really needed cos I was full of a cold. The last time she went to his for a full weekend she had conjunctivitis and he didn’t do anything about it, gave her to me on Sunday and I had to deal with an unhappy child all week.

I just get so pissed off cos why is it such hard work for him to just look after his child and not moan, or for something to not go wrong or for her to get injured. I’ve said she isn’t going this weekend and he said ok, he’s got a football game on Saturday anyway. I’m just sick of it. All weekend he expected me to come and get her cos he was tired and I just think GET A bleeping GRIP!!!!!! We are all tired! We all have jobs and other things going on. I just needed to rant cos I’m completely pissed off at his lack of giving a duck about her burning herself and I feel guilty I left her for a weekend. I don’t expect anyone to reply to my mega rant just led in bed fuming over the weekend and his crappy parenting

Omg !! I would absolutely kill him if I was you!! How can he be so relaxed that she has burnt herself and not even explain to you what happened. How old is she can you ask her what happened ? God he sounds infuriating £ like he can’t be assed.
ifi was you I would stop her going for a bit but that doesn’t give you a break I guess. Does she like going ? He sounds hard work no wonder you kicked him to the curb

 

[al255]

Omg !! I would absolutely kill him if I was you!! How can he be so relaxed that she has burnt herself and not even explain to you what happened. How old is she can you ask her what happened ? God he sounds infuriating £ like he can’t be assed.
ifi was you I would stop her going for a bit but that doesn’t give you a break I guess. Does she like going ? He sounds hard work no wonder you kicked him to the curb

I was absolute furious. This is her wrist. I took a photo in the bath to show him cos he didn’t really understand how bad it was and why nursery were so concerned!!

So I said to her did you burn your wrist on daddy cooker and she said yeah, she pointed to it and firmly told me what happened. So she’s defo not going this weekend cos I refuse to send her she won’t be going for a full weekend unless I am desperately needing a break but I’d rather have her with me and be tired and drag her round the shops with me than her risk anything over 2 days cos he can’t be a bloody parent!!!! I went mental. I just said you don’t seem to care, only tonight he said he feels awful but that was after he lied and couldn’t get his story straight about whether or not he put water on it. He said she didn’t cry and he didn’t know and then the next he said he put running water on it cos she was crying. He was obviously stressed out this weekend but that’s not my problem. I have her all week and I don’t lose all control of parenting

 

[Jellybean093]

So I just need to rant about my Daughters Dad.

My daughters dad & I split the weekend - So one of us has her Friday - Saturday and Saturday to Sunday (she stays with me from Sunday afternoon, all week until the weekend). It works well for us both as we get some of the weekend to ourselves.

Now. It’s probably three times a year that she will stay Friday - Sunday. The weekend just gone she did as we had just got back off holiday on the Wednesday and I had plans with my friends.

EVERY time she stays for 2 nights it’s like he can’t cope and everything he’s learn about parenting in the last nearly 3 years goes out the bleeping window and he hasn’t got a clue.

She slept badly Friday and Saturday night, apparently she was up quite a lot of the night just unsettled which is understandable given she had just spent 9/10 days& nights solid with me. He told me on the Saturday he wanted her to come here and he would sleep downstairs and I said no. Mainly because it’s my only full weekend to myself, I had loads of washing to do, tidying up and I wanted to enjoy a Sunday in peace. Selfish I know but I didn’t care at that point, I’d just taken us away on holiday and didn’t get a break (my choice I know)

He kept moaning he was tired and he can’t function bla bla bla, I just get on with my day on both Saturday & Sunday. Sunday comes around and I wake up to a text that says “come and get her at 10am” baring in mind I hadn’t done a food shop, I’d only just woke up at 9:30am cos I was having a much needed, well deserved lie in!!!! And I firmly said no I’ll get her after lunch as I needed to get up, have a shower and go to the shops to do a big food shop. I wasn’t rushing round

I pick her up at 12:30pm and we go to my dads, I notice a burn on her wrist and I text him asking
Him what’s happened cos it didn’t happen with me. We came off hol Wednesday and got a takeaway and Thursday we had oven food so there was NO way she did that with me. Anyway. He said she tried to grab something off the stove and burnt her wrist however she didn’t cry (absolute bullshit cos she won’t even let me touch it to but cream on it), anyway. He didn’t tell me she had done it. I had to see it for myself! He didn’t seem to give a tit, the story of what happened didn’t really add up. So then at nursery pick up today I got questioned and I just told them the truth about it. I said I went mad at Dad cos he doesn’t seem to realise it could have been a hot pan she grabbed and there is NO way in my Care that would have happened.

She knows full well when mummy is cooking to keep away from the cooker and oven and she knows it’s hot cos she goes “ahhh, ahhh” with her hand pretending.

I just feel like I can’t even leave her for a weekend cos something will happen, i feel guilty for having a weekend to myself which I really needed cos I was full of a cold. The last time she went to his for a full weekend she had conjunctivitis and he didn’t do anything about it, gave her to me on Sunday and I had to deal with an unhappy child all week.

I just get so pissed off cos why is it such hard work for him to just look after his child and not moan, or for something to not go wrong or for her to get injured. I’ve said she isn’t going this weekend and he said ok, he’s got a football game on Saturday anyway. I’m just sick of it. All weekend he expected me to come and get her cos he was tired and I just think GET A bleeping GRIP!!!!!! We are all tired! We all have jobs and other things going on. I just needed to rant cos I’m completely pissed off at his lack of giving a duck about her burning herself and I feel guilty I left her for a weekend. I don’t expect anyone to reply to my mega rant just led in bed fuming over the weekend and his crappy parenting

Wow. How awful that he hasn’t told you what has happened, and has let you deal with it at nursery as well
Never feel guilty for wanting a bit of time to yourself. It’s bloody tough being a single parent. I used to live for my weekends when my eldest went to her dads, just to sleep and catch up on things I couldn’t do with her around. It was bliss!
My daughters dad still puts things he wants to do before her (she’s 13!!) and even told me a few months ago he no longer wants to have her for one of the days because it’s interfering with his weekends… they’re just tit

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I was absolute furious. This is her wrist. I took a photo in the bath to show him cos he didn’t really understand how bad it was and why nursery were so concerned!!

So I said to her did you burn your wrist on daddy cooker and she said yeah, she pointed to it and firmly told me what happened. So she’s defo not going this weekend cos I refuse to send her she won’t be going for a full weekend unless I am desperately needing a break but I’d rather have her with me and be tired and drag her round the shops with me than her risk anything over 2 days cos he can’t be a bloody parent!!!! I went mental. I just said you don’t seem to care, only tonight he said he feels awful but that was after he lied and couldn’t get his story straight about whether or not he put water on it. He said she didn’t cry and he didn’t know and then the next he said he put running water on it cos she was crying. He was obviously stressed out this weekend but that’s not my problem. I have her all week and I don’t lose all control of parenting

Yep you’re doing the right thing !! God I’d have gone mental too. Especially as nursery flagged it up!
i mean do us mums have to do every Without a break!!!.
hope you are ok and she is too.

My son has fallen at nursery today and not one teacher told us!!! I sent them an email and will be having words in the morning as how could they not have noticed this on his cheek?!