Toddler Advice Thread #2

[honey&lemon]

Thanks so much for all the replies I really appreciate all your kind words.

So she was previously in a private nursery who were great, they would help her go to the toilet and would change after any accidents etc but she hadn’t had any for a good while and was doing great.

The new place is part of a primary school, and she’ll be in their playgroup in a couple of weeks but right now is just the ‘wraparound’ care bit from 8-3 and doesn’t have a key worker or anything. It’s the school toilets she has to use. They just don’t seem as understanding as the nursery would have been that she might still need help, yet they take in children from 2 years 10 months every year so I can’t understand it as surely this must happen a lot. I know once she does it a few times she’ll be fine.

They didn’t send her home as such but they called me to say she’d used all her change of clothes so could I bring more or just collect her. I brought more clothes up but as soon as she saw me she got really distraught saying she wanted to come home.

I just really hope she gets her confidence soon but I feel like it’s all on her to do it rather than them offering any support or understanding. Yesterday I just wanted to phone her old nursery to take her back in where she was happy

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Not sure If anyone has any advice but I got a random email from my sons pre school teacher ( he is at a school based nursery) and she said the SENCO was telling her I could look into DAF but she didn’t say why I would need this. They’ve never expressed any concerns about him having any special educational needs … he has a speech delay but don’t a lot of kids at the moment. I was caught off guard and I have been a bit upset about it now as I’m worried about him a lot. He’s going to school next September and I just feel like he won’t be ready at all!! He’s still in nappies , his speech is limited but getting there slowly … he struggles to communicate with the teachers as he is quite shy. He always hides behind me when adults he doesn’t know are around.
i thought it was really random of her to send me that on a Friday when she wont reply over the weekend and I’m left stressing all weekend I really do worry about him due to his lack of speech. We’ve been to one speech therapy session but I’m not feeling very hopeful
In my mind he’s going to be going to school in nappies and still not talking and I’m trying not to tear my hair out

 

[Jellybean093]

Not sure If anyone has any advice but I got a random email from my sons pre school teacher ( he is at a school based nursery) and she said the SENCO was telling her I could look into DAF but she didn’t say why I would need this. They’ve never expressed any concerns about him having any special educational needs … he has a speech delay but don’t a lot of kids at the moment. I was caught off guard and I have been a bit upset about it now as I’m worried about him a lot. He’s going to school next September and I just feel like he won’t be ready at all!! He’s still in nappies , his speech is limited but getting there slowly … he struggles to communicate with the teachers as he is quite shy. He always hides behind me when adults he doesn’t know are around.
i thought it was really random of her to send me that on a Friday when she wont reply over the weekend and I’m left stressing all weekend I really do worry about him due to his lack of speech. We’ve been to one speech therapy session but I’m not feeling very hopeful
In my mind he’s going to be going to school in nappies and still not talking and I’m trying not to tear my hair out

I don’t have any advice, but these covid babies/toddlers have missed out on so much and I do believe they have been massively let down. My 3 yos speech is no where near what my other 2 kids were like at his age, and, obviously, we speak to him everyday. He isn’t anywhere near as shy as my 6 year old, but there are definitely only a few people who he would go to for a cuddle
I hate it when people tell you something, but then don’t reply due to the weekend, and then you’re left wondering wtf?! It’s not fair, and they should’ve pulled you to the side if they had any concerns

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I don’t have any advice, but these covid babies/toddlers have missed out on so much and I do believe they have been massively let down. My 3 yos speech is no where near what my other 2 kids were like at his age, and, obviously, we speak to him everyday. He isn’t anywhere near as shy as my 6 year old, but there are definitely only a few people who he would go to for a cuddle
I hate it when people tell you something, but then don’t reply due to the weekend, and then you’re left wondering wtf?! It’s not fair, and they should’ve pulled you to the side if they had any concerns

See this is kind of what I thought. Before lockdown ( it’s really hard to remember but he had his 1st and 2nd birthdays in LD). He used to love people and then after LD he wouldn’t even like my parents and he’s still not sure on my dad now which is sad.
i don’t know what I’m looking for in terms of special needs but sometimes I do think he is a bit different to my friends daughter who is the same age. It’s really hard.
and we have been let down loads of times by the HV. No one is interested. Im hoping his teachers Will be able to help us. He’s happy in himself and I rarely have to tell him off

 

[al255]

Hi all, mini A has been waking up at 5.45am for the last few morning and I’m wondering if I should get rid of her nap. She’s only having 1 hour and last time she was waking up stupidly early like this it’s when she was 2 and I had to cap her nap from 3 hours to 1 .. has anyone just gone cold Turkey from 1 hour to nothing? I don’t think capping it to 30 mins will really benefit her / the time it takes for her to fall asleep etc, it would just become a hinderance rather than anything she’s at nursery today & tomorrow so I’m thinking asking them to not let her nap and see how night times go. I’m thinking I need to cap naptime and bedtime will be back to 7:45pm / 8pm cos atm even that’s 8:15pm by time she falls asleep! Looking for positive stories please I’m a firm believer in sleep begates sleep and there’s gunna become a point where bedtime sleep is less cos of too much daytime.. this is now I think

 

[Definitelyme]

Hi all, mini A has been waking up at 5.45am for the last few morning and I’m wondering if I should get rid of her nap. She’s only having 1 hour and last time she was waking up stupidly early like this it’s when she was 2 and I had to cap her nap from 3 hours to 1 .. has anyone just gone cold Turkey from 1 hour to nothing? I don’t think capping it to 30 mins will really benefit her / the time it takes for her to fall asleep etc, it would just become a hinderance rather than anything she’s at nursery today & tomorrow so I’m thinking asking them to not let her nap and see how night times go. I’m thinking I need to cap naptime and bedtime will be back to 7:45pm / 8pm cos atm even that’s 8:15pm by time she falls asleep! Looking for positive stories please I’m a firm believer in sleep begates sleep and there’s gunna become a point where bedtime sleep is less cos of too much daytime.. this is now I think

Yes we would just cut out the nap when it’s time, not fo down to 30mins or anything. I think when you have to wake them and they are deep asleep it makes them feel worse for the rest of the day. You may find every few days she does still need that hour to “catch up”

 

[al255]

Yes we would just cut out the nap when it’s time, not fo down to 30mins or anything. I think when you have to wake them and they are deep asleep it makes them feel worse for the rest of the day. You may find every few days she does still need that hour to “catch up”

that’s what I’m thinking🫠🫠eeeek…! Will see how she gets on. I think it’ll be as and when now.. we go away in October so I’m kind of glad lol

 

[SwizzleMalarkey]

Hi all, mini A has been waking up at 5.45am for the last few morning and I’m wondering if I should get rid of her nap. She’s only having 1 hour and last time she was waking up stupidly early like this it’s when she was 2 and I had to cap her nap from 3 hours to 1 .. has anyone just gone cold Turkey from 1 hour to nothing? I don’t think capping it to 30 mins will really benefit her / the time it takes for her to fall asleep etc, it would just become a hinderance rather than anything she’s at nursery today & tomorrow so I’m thinking asking them to not let her nap and see how night times go. I’m thinking I need to cap naptime and bedtime will be back to 7:45pm / 8pm cos atm even that’s 8:15pm by time she falls asleep! Looking for positive stories please I’m a firm believer in sleep begates sleep and there’s gunna become a point where bedtime sleep is less cos of too much daytime.. this is now I think

Yes we went from 90 minute nap to no nap at all about a month ago. It was tricky for about a week with him being a bit grumpy and almost falling asleep at 5pm but he soon got used to it and now he’s pretty much always asleep by 6:30pm! I miss the nap but a longer evening is lovely.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

@Jellybean093 tbey emailed me back and said he has some additional needs but haven’t said what. Got a meeting on Friday about it

 

[Jellybean093]

@Jellybean093 tbey emailed me back and said he has some additional needs but haven’t said what. Got a meeting on Friday about it

Friday? So sorry they have left it so long to talk to you about it. You must be going out of your mind?!

 

[al255]

Yes we went from 90 minute nap to no nap at all about a month ago. It was tricky for about a week with him being a bit grumpy and almost falling asleep at 5pm but he soon got used to it and now he’s pretty much always asleep by 6:30pm! I miss the nap but a longer evening is lovely.

Thank you - she’s usually really hyper after tea time so hopefully it’ll be ok🫠

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Friday? So sorry they have left it so long to talk to you about it. You must be going out of your mind?!

A little!! I kind of wish they had discussed things in Person instead of over email

 

[OIM]

Ladies I need help. My nromally lovely obedient 4 yr old started school last week. It’s a huge change in routine as it’s 2 weeks of only being there until lunchtime when she has been in nursery 10 hours a day since 10 months. She’s hugely struggling with this but I feel like k can cope with that as I know it won’t be forever.

However at home she having some of the hugest tantrums. She just screams at us as loud as she can and has got physical when I’ve tried to take her to bed etc. it’s so unlike her and it’s so hard to see her so upset but also not to absolutely lose my tit when she’s screaming in my face or pushing me or hitting me. I don’t know the best way to navigate this as normally she’d have a little meltdown then come for a cuddle. These outbursts are lasting nearly an hour mostly.

 

[WhatABore]

Ladies I need help. My nromally lovely obedient 4 yr old started school last week. It’s a huge change in routine as it’s 2 weeks of only being there until lunchtime when she has been in nursery 10 hours a day since 10 months. She’s hugely struggling with this but I feel like k can cope with that as I know it won’t be forever.

However at home she having some of the hugest tantrums. She just screams at us as loud as she can and has got physical when I’ve tried to take her to bed etc. it’s so unlike her and it’s so hard to see her so upset but also not to absolutely lose my tit when she’s screaming in my face or pushing me or hitting me. I don’t know the best way to navigate this as normally she’d have a little meltdown then come for a cuddle. These outbursts are lasting nearly an hour mostly.

This seems a pretty normal thing from what I can tell.
It's all to do with them suppressing everything in school and then letting it all out at home.
There's quite a lot of information about it on Instagram and a lot of advice.
As frustrating as it is, it's 100% normal. Unfortunately!

I can't remember the term for it, I'll have to go back on my Instagram!

*edited to say I found it*

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

This seems a pretty normal thing from what I can tell.
It's all to do with them suppressing everything in school and then letting it all out at home.
There's quite a lot of information about it on Instagram and a lot of advice.
As frustrating as it is, it's 100% normal. Unfortunately!

I can't remember the term for it, I'll have to go back on my Instagram!

*edited to say I found it*

It is a real thing. My niece used to be an angel ans then after school she’d be grumpy, stomping round and demanding crumpets

my son cried today when we got home cos I didn’t know what he wanted on tv . He’s usually chilled. He’s quite often a bit unsettled after nursery

 

[OIM]

This seems a pretty normal thing from what I can tell.
It's all to do with them suppressing everything in school and then letting it all out at home.
There's quite a lot of information about it on Instagram and a lot of advice.
As frustrating as it is, it's 100% normal. Unfortunately!

I can't remember the term for it, I'll have to go back on my Instagram!

*edited to say I found it*

Yes I thought it might be this but can’t understand why 3 hours at school is so much worse than 10 hours at nursery. I’ve never seen her so badly behaved. I have reacted badly a couple of times and really shouted but now trying to stay calm but finding it hard. Feel like I’m really failing her.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Yes I thought it might be this but can’t understand why 3 hours at school is so much worse than 10 hours at nursery. I’ve never seen her so badly behaved. I have reacted badly a couple of times and really shouted but now trying to stay calm but finding it hard. Feel like I’m really failing her.

Is she enjoying it

 

[WhatABore]

Yes I thought it might be this but can’t understand why 3 hours at school is so much worse than 10 hours at nursery. I’ve never seen her so badly behaved. I have reacted badly a couple of times and really shouted but now trying to stay calm but finding it hard. Feel like I’m really failing her.

There's quite a bit more structure to school compared to nursery. That simply could be the only reason.
At nursery, they tend to jump straight in to playing, play until lunch, then back to playing and usually a story or something before lunch or before the end of the day.
Where as at school, they have to go in, usually sit on the rug or do their own little tasks before they play, then they've got set activities, set times, tidying up several times, sitting on the rug and engaging a lot more.
Ect ect.
It probably doesn't sound like much, but it's quite a lot for a little one
Its more so about what they do there than their hours there.

No idea if that helps at all

You're not failing her at all. It is verrrrry hard to deal with, day in day out when they're like that. You're only human

 

[OIM]

Is she enjoying it

So she says. The teacher said she’s great and exploring etc

There's quite a bit more structure to school compared to nursery. That simply could be the only reason.
At nursery, they tend to jump straight in to playing, play until lunch, then back to playing and usually a story or something before lunch or before the end of the day.
Where as at school, they have to go in, usually sit on the rug or do their own little tasks before they play, then they've got set activities, set times, tidying up several times, sitting on the rug and engaging a lot more.
Ect ect.
It probably doesn't sound like much, but it's quite a lot for a little one
Its more so about what they do there than their hours there.

No idea if that helps at all

You're not failing her at all. It is verrrrry hard to deal with, day in day out when they're like that. You're only human

Tbh I’m a teacher and feel like it shouldn’t be my child that struggles with this. I know there’s no sense in that!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

So she says. The teacher said she’s great and exploring etc



Tbh I’m a teacher and feel like it shouldn’t be my child that struggles with this. I know there’s no sense in that!

Maybe it’s just the adjustment. hopefully it won’t last forever