Toddler Advice Thread #2

[swimming]

I’m not a regular contributor to this thread but just wanted to see if ANYONE has any advice for me (before I go mad).
In a nutshell:
My son is 15 months old. Sleeps 6pm till 6.30am every day, so I am aware that’s very good.

BUT he will just not nap in the day for longer than 20 minutes. Could literally set a timer to it. And by 2pm he is so tired and grumpy and does nothing but whinge, moan, whine and cry. Rub his eyes, yawn. He’s bleeping insufferable most days.

I’ve tried all the tips I’ve seen online. Including making his bedtime a bit later but he still wakes up at the same time and isn’t making up for it during the day.

When he wakes up from these 20 minute “naps”, he cries. Wakes up in the cot and starts bawling immediately. Google is telling me that’s because he’s likely still tired (no tit!). But nothing gets him back off.

He has white noise on for naps and night time. He also won’t sleep in the buggy or car so it’s super hard on me tbh and I am slowly drowning in stress.

Im a single parent with no help at all.

Health visitor has been useless. Doctors are telling me it’s because he’s got glue ear (but he sleeps fine at night).

i dunno what to do anymore. He’s just woken up now from the classic 20 minutes and is hysterical in his cot. I’m watching him on camera rubbing his eyes, yawning and sobbing.

Sincerely,
A stressed mumma x

 

[Definitelyme]

I’m not a regular contributor to this thread but just wanted to see if ANYONE has any advice for me (before I go mad).
In a nutshell:
My son is 15 months old. Sleeps 6pm till 6.30am every day, so I am aware that’s very good.

BUT he will just not nap in the day for longer than 20 minutes. Could literally set a timer to it. And by 2pm he is so tired and grumpy and does nothing but whinge, moan, whine and cry. Rub his eyes, yawn. He’s bleeping insufferable most days.

I’ve tried all the tips I’ve seen online. Including making his bedtime a bit later but he still wakes up at the same time and isn’t making up for it during the day.

When he wakes up from these 20 minute “naps”, he cries. Wakes up in the cot and starts bawling immediately. Google is telling me that’s because he’s likely still tired (no tit!). But nothing gets him back off.

He has white noise on for naps and night time. He also won’t sleep in the buggy or car so it’s super hard on me tbh and I am slowly drowning in stress.

Im a single parent with no help at all.

Health visitor has been useless. Doctors are telling me it’s because he’s got glue ear (but he sleeps fine at night).

i dunno what to do anymore. He’s just woken up now from the classic 20 minutes and is hysterical in his cot. I’m watching him on camera rubbing his eyes, yawning and sobbing.

Sincerely,
A stressed mumma x

That sounds rough, especially being on your own.
Would He nap for longer next to you? Maybe cuddled in to you when he starts to stir he would go back over? That’s my only suggestion sadly, as I am queen of the contact nap kids

 

[watermelon sugar]

I’m not a regular contributor to this thread but just wanted to see if ANYONE has any advice for me (before I go mad).
In a nutshell:
My son is 15 months old. Sleeps 6pm till 6.30am every day, so I am aware that’s very good.

BUT he will just not nap in the day for longer than 20 minutes. Could literally set a timer to it. And by 2pm he is so tired and grumpy and does nothing but whinge, moan, whine and cry. Rub his eyes, yawn. He’s bleeping insufferable most days.

I’ve tried all the tips I’ve seen online. Including making his bedtime a bit later but he still wakes up at the same time and isn’t making up for it during the day.

When he wakes up from these 20 minute “naps”, he cries. Wakes up in the cot and starts bawling immediately. Google is telling me that’s because he’s likely still tired (no tit!). But nothing gets him back off.

He has white noise on for naps and night time. He also won’t sleep in the buggy or car so it’s super hard on me tbh and I am slowly drowning in stress.

Im a single parent with no help at all.

Health visitor has been useless. Doctors are telling me it’s because he’s got glue ear (but he sleeps fine at night).

i dunno what to do anymore. He’s just woken up now from the classic 20 minutes and is hysterical in his cot. I’m watching him on camera rubbing his eyes, yawning and sobbing.

Sincerely,
A stressed mumma x

How is he when you go in and pick him up when he wakes? Have you tried going in before he wakes up and getting him into the next sleep cycle? My 2 year old used to suffer changing sleep cycles when he was a lot younger and would wake after 20 mins and I’d go in just before the time he’d wake, when he was stirring and just shush and pat him till he went back off and settled again?

 

[swimming]

How is he when you go in and pick him up when he wakes? Have you tried going in before he wakes up and getting him into the next sleep cycle? My 2 year old used to suffer changing sleep cycles when he was a lot younger and would wake after 20 mins and I’d go in just before the time he’d wake, when he was stirring and just shush and pat him till he went back off and settled again?

Hiya, yes I’ve tried that! He wakes up and stands up immediately as soon as I enter the room. I say as a joke someone could fart 5 miles away and he’s hear it and wake up. When he wakes up crying and I’m going to get him, he stops crying but is grumpy and whingey the rest of the day.
It’s definitely sleep cycles I’m sure of it. I really feel for him because it must be frustrating but god it’s wrecking me. I’m so nervous going out in public because of if because he just cries and sobs in the buggy because he’s tired but just won’t give in.

 

[WhatABore]

Hiya, yes I’ve tried that! He wakes up and stands up immediately as soon as I enter the room. I say as a joke someone could fart 5 miles away and he’s hear it and wake up. When he wakes up crying and I’m going to get him, he stops crying but is grumpy and whingey the rest of the day.
It’s definitely sleep cycles I’m sure of it. I really feel for him because it must be frustrating but god it’s wrecking me. I’m so nervous going out in public because of if because he just cries and sobs in the buggy because he’s tired but just won’t give in.

I have no advice really. I seem to produce kids that hate napping
My daughter is 16 months and she has only every napped for 20-30 minutes.
The only thing that has made it a bit better and up to 40 minutesish is moving her to a later nap.
She does sleep in the pushchair though. Have to lay it down, dummy in, put Alexa on to play lullabyes and the extractor fan on and then push her back and forwards until she's fully out of it.
If any of these are different, she will not nap at all

What time does he nap?

 

[honey&lemon]

Hiya, yes I’ve tried that! He wakes up and stands up immediately as soon as I enter the room. I say as a joke someone could fart 5 miles away and he’s hear it and wake up. When he wakes up crying and I’m going to get him, he stops crying but is grumpy and whingey the rest of the day.
It’s definitely sleep cycles I’m sure of it. I really feel for him because it must be frustrating but god it’s wrecking me. I’m so nervous going out in public because of if because he just cries and sobs in the buggy because he’s tired but just won’t give in.

I don’t have much advice I’m afraid but wanted to offer my sympathies! My youngest was completely the same, never napped for more than 20 minutes at a time, and by about 9 months that was only once a day. Nothing I did worked, tried every trick in the book and seemed to spend hours every day to get those 20

She stopped napping completely by 2. But slept the night through so I couldn’t complain too much but it is extremely difficult when you don’t get that break and you have no support (I didn’t have much either) and they are clearly tired which makes it harder too.

if I was to go back to that time again I would just stop stressing about it and go out anyway and never worry what other people think if they cry, at least it would be a change of scenery. never helped when other peoples kids slept no problem, and anywhere as well. My kid never even fell asleep in the car on a longish trip.

It gets easier and there are benefits when they’re a bit older of not having to structure your day around their naps. Hold on in there mama you’re doing great x

 

[Jellybean093]

I’m not a regular contributor to this thread but just wanted to see if ANYONE has any advice for me (before I go mad).
In a nutshell:
My son is 15 months old. Sleeps 6pm till 6.30am every day, so I am aware that’s very good.

BUT he will just not nap in the day for longer than 20 minutes. Could literally set a timer to it. And by 2pm he is so tired and grumpy and does nothing but whinge, moan, whine and cry. Rub his eyes, yawn. He’s bleeping insufferable most days.

I’ve tried all the tips I’ve seen online. Including making his bedtime a bit later but he still wakes up at the same time and isn’t making up for it during the day.

When he wakes up from these 20 minute “naps”, he cries. Wakes up in the cot and starts bawling immediately. Google is telling me that’s because he’s likely still tired (no tit!). But nothing gets him back off.

He has white noise on for naps and night time. He also won’t sleep in the buggy or car so it’s super hard on me tbh and I am slowly drowning in stress.

Im a single parent with no help at all.

Health visitor has been useless. Doctors are telling me it’s because he’s got glue ear (but he sleeps fine at night).

i dunno what to do anymore. He’s just woken up now from the classic 20 minutes and is hysterical in his cot. I’m watching him on camera rubbing his eyes, yawning and sobbing.

Sincerely,
A stressed mumma x

What time does he nap during the day? Can you set it back a little bit?
My toddler had glue ear, and he was a good sleeper, so I don’t think that has anything to do with it?!

 

[Kim Mild]

Yesterday my little 2.5 year old cried the whole time we were in town cos my 4.5 year old kept upsetting them . They were screaming when we left a shop saying their thing was still there.
Later on , they tell me their sticker from when we went somewhere a few weeks ago ( that we won't go again due to cost/ distance) was found in their jacket pocket and they had been holding it in their hand and dropped it in the shop. I didn't know they had it and they were screaming too much to understand what they were saying. I feel so guilty I didn't understand and couldn't help, like I let them down

Not after advice but I feel so bad I couldn't/ didn't make it better.

 

[Octopies]

I’m abroad for the first time with my toddler (definitely not moaning about being on holiday btw but this was booked and paid for pre covid so a very rare treat!)

And omg it’s so much harder than I expected I thought they would just settle right into being away but poor thing is finding it really hard and just not themselves we take them swimming once a week at home but they won’t step foot in the hotel pool without screaming their head off. Beach wasn’t much better as just kept running off constantly and so hard to keep them out of the hot sun. Don’t get me started on restaurants, high chair refusal is the new thing so it’s meals sat on our knee until they get bored and want to run off. Love them millions but just didn’t anticipate a personality change from going away and now feel guilty for disrupting their life for a holiday!! I’ve honestly considered going home early

 

[al255]

I’m abroad for the first time with my toddler (definitely not moaning about being on holiday btw but this was booked and paid for pre covid so a very rare treat!)

And omg it’s so much harder than I expected I thought they would just settle right into being away but poor thing is finding it really hard and just not themselves we take them swimming once a week at home but they won’t step foot in the hotel pool without screaming their head off. Beach wasn’t much better as just kept running off constantly and so hard to keep them out of the hot sun. Don’t get me started on restaurants, high chair refusal is the new thing so it’s meals sat on our knee until they get bored and want to run off. Love them millions but just didn’t anticipate a personality change from going away and now feel guilty for disrupting their life for a holiday!! I’ve honestly considered going home early

It gets better I PROMISE.

I’ve taken mini A on my own (single mum) many times this year abroad and in the uk, once they settle into holiday routine and stuff isn’t new it’s better. When we went away in January this was the first time we’d been away due to covid, and she wouldn’t go near the sea. By the end of it she was running in Our holiday in May, she was really scared to go down any of the little slides in the pool and again, by day 3 she was happy doing it on her own. How old are they? My daugher is nearly 3. It’s a new place and new environment, no home comforts etc as well. I got an Amazon fire tablet for my daughter as it keeps her entertained when we are abroad in restaurants..! I don’t go to the beach really on my own as she runs off and I don’t want to leave all the stuff lying around. But the pool area is better! Bucket, spade, floats.. water pistol! Anything to occupy them. Hope it gets better, there’s nothing worse than wishing you hadn’t bothered x

 

[Octopies]

It gets better I PROMISE.

I’ve taken mini A on my own (single mum) many times this year abroad and in the uk, once they settle into holiday routine and stuff isn’t new it’s better. When we went away in January this was the first time we’d been away due to covid, and she wouldn’t go near the sea. By the end of it she was running in Our holiday in May, she was really scared to go down any of the little slides in the pool and again, by day 3 she was happy doing it on her own. How old are they? My daugher is nearly 3. It’s a new place and new environment, no home comforts etc as well. I got an Amazon fire tablet for my daughter as it keeps her entertained when we are abroad in restaurants..! I don’t go to the beach really on my own as she runs off and I don’t want to leave all the stuff lying around. But the pool area is better! Bucket, spade, floats.. water pistol! Anything to occupy them. Hope it gets better, there’s nothing worse than wishing you hadn’t bothered x

thank you - in a non patronising way - you are brilliant for going on your own. I need to up my confidence with doing stuff solo. There’s two of us so I always know if there’s a public meltdown I have an extra hand and I’m still terrified of it happening!

Thank you though you’ve given me massive hope… they’re only 18 months! But have been such an adaptable little thing all their life I just assumed it would be fine (never been clingy never wanted mummy always been very sociable etc) but I guess there’s a lot of change going on for them as now confidently walking / chattering, and this has all happened in the last few months

We’ve always been big travellers so this has really thrown us

 

[al255]

thank you - in a non patronising way - you are brilliant for going on your own. I need to up my confidence with doing stuff solo. There’s two of us so I always know if there’s a public meltdown I have an extra hand and I’m still terrified of it happening!

Thank you though you’ve given me massive hope… they’re only 18 months! But have been such an adaptable little thing all their life I just assumed it would be fine (never been clingy never wanted mummy always been very sociable etc) but I guess there’s a lot of change going on for them as now confidently walking / chattering, and this has all happened in the last few months

We’ve always been big travellers so this has really thrown us

Aww thank you!! I just don’t want us to miss out on stuff cos I’m a single parent, and it’s quality time for myself and Mini A abroad too. I find it easier actually without her Dad pissing me off, but for nearly 3 years we’ve been split up for just shy of 2 of them so I’ve just got used to it all.

Just take every day as it comes - follow their lead and I honestly swear by just getting them stuff for the pool. Anyone who has been around kids will know they have meltdowns, ignore those that look.. your baby is being just that - a baby!Keep us posted xx

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I’ve got a speech therapy appointment with my three year old this morning and I’m feeling a bit jittery about it. When we get to new places he never wants to go in an cries a lot. And he hates people talking to him when he’s like that. He does calm down after five minutes or so. But I find it so hard work he’s too heavy to carry ( he’s quite tall for his age) and it’s embarrassing when he’s kicking off
also I’m not sure what we’re going to gain from it as he doesn’t really listen to strangers. He’s getting there slowly with his speech he’s started saying more words over the summer ..

 

[WhatABore]

I’ve got a speech therapy appointment with my three year old this morning and I’m feeling a bit jittery about it. When we get to new places he never wants to go in an cries a lot. And he hates people talking to him when he’s like that. He does calm down after five minutes or so. But I find it so hard work he’s too heavy to carry ( he’s quite tall for his age) and it’s embarrassing when he’s kicking off
also I’m not sure what we’re going to gain from it as he doesn’t really listen to strangers. He’s getting there slowly with his speech he’s started saying more words over the summer ..

I think they'd probably teach you some things to do at home with him maybe

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I think they'd probably teach you some things to do at home with him maybe

Yeah I have a booklet& a work book with some really good tips in it

 

[watermelon sugar]

@strawberrysunshine_x good luck I hope it goes well

 

[SwizzleMalarkey]

I’ve got a speech therapy appointment with my three year old this morning and I’m feeling a bit jittery about it. When we get to new places he never wants to go in an cries a lot. And he hates people talking to him when he’s like that. He does calm down after five minutes or so. But I find it so hard work he’s too heavy to carry ( he’s quite tall for his age) and it’s embarrassing when he’s kicking off
also I’m not sure what we’re going to gain from it as he doesn’t really listen to strangers. He’s getting there slowly with his speech he’s started saying more words over the summer ..

This sounds a lot like my son. We’re on the waiting list for speech therapy but he has started saying so much more over the summer. He has plenty of words but struggles more in social situations and with listening and interacting with strangers. Hope it goes well for you and your boy.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

This sounds a lot like my son. We’re on the waiting list for speech therapy but he has started saying so much more over the summer. He has plenty of words but struggles more in social situations and with listening and interacting with strangers. Hope it goes well for you and your boy.

It went ok! But it’s so daunting when she’s sat there in the corner with her note pad frowning and not telling me anything.
he didn’t kick off like I thought - it helped he was in a good mood . But he didn’t really say much not even babbling … we’ve got one again next Tuesday. He just doesn’t like strangers so it’s hard work. He’s so different at home

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

This isn’t directly related to my toddler but think it fits the thread. My daughter started preschool 2 afternoons a week. I work part time 16 hours a week, my partner is full time we’d employed. I’ve been looking at child and working tax credits but not sure if they still offer this. Does anyone know?

 

[WhatABore]

This isn’t directly related to my toddler but think it fits the thread. My daughter started preschool 2 afternoons a week. I work part time 16 hours a week, my partner is full time we’d employed. I’ve been looking at child and working tax credits but not sure if they still offer this. Does anyone know?

You can only get it if you already get working tax credit I believe. Otherwise its now all included in universal credit