Tiffany Thinks #7

[Petro48]

I h

I really don't understand that at all. It makes no sense to me when the scans showed more growth. I mean surely they know it's cancer so... it's madness really that they would wait 4-6 weeks yet again. Can anyone help explain?

I honestly don't think she's strong enough to survive it now. Read about one man who had the surgery and he lost 50 pounds during recovery. Granted, that doesn't prove anything for her but it does show how difficult recovery could be.

 

[Puffy Pox]

T's denial, avoidance & delusional/magical thinking have come to an abrupt end. I think for the first time she is realizing the gravity of the surgery. It is sad & troubling to witness. But Previously, "surgery" to her was "removing the bad stuff from my tummy". Like removing a bad mole. A one & done.

T has very low emotional intelligence. What 30 year old says, "it's so yummy" constantly. "Yummy" is what a 4 year old says.

She is in no way emotionally prepared for what lies ahead. I'm actually surprised the surgeon is willing to proceed given how she has coped up until this point. I do not see her handling this well...

 

[Blue skies]

Do you guys think that Tif just puts on a front in front of Matt and family members so that she is appearing strong? She did say she hates seeing other people upset.

I don’t think it’s about her being worried that other family members will be upset, apart from Amma maybe. I think she just doesn’t know how to react coz she’s just ignorant and blank and thinks she’s definitely going to be ok, when in fact she could potentially lose her life, surgery or not.

 

[lisette]

The lot of us who screamed at her to take the surgery wish we could just say TOLD YOU SO! now. There were oncos, doctors, onco nurses and every sane person on earth. And there you go. Risk reward is your big fat cheeseburger.

I was in the pack screaming but the surgeon was downplaying it and said it was for her mental health so I’m wondering about him

 

[BCrowl]

Nope you didn't imagine it her sister said the surgeon told them there would be a 4-6 wait again if no cancer was found from the biopsy.

That’s right. I just rewatched that part and it sounds like she definitely has to get the surgery by the end of this year. But they will do a biopsy first. However, if it looks like cancer, they won’t do a biopsy. Then Tiffany was saying if they do the biopsy, and it doesn’t come back as cancer, then she might not need the surgery? I was having trouble understanding with them all talking at once, but I think her sister said they are going to do a biopsy on a Friday, and then on a Wednesday they would talk to her again. And she will be in the hospital for all of those days. Also, her sister said if the biopsy is not showing cancer, then they will wait 4-6 weeks and do another biopsy. Is it this Friday that she’s getting the biopsy? I listened to that part 3 or 4 times, even with closed captions, but I couldn’t figure out when they will do the next biopsy. Then Matt confused me more by saying they can’t even get into the area to take the biopsy.

 

[lisette]

I told before that the thing about the surgeon is strange. He gave her false hope and let her wait for nothing. Clearly she wasn't candidat for WW because she has T4 and lymph node involment. Now insists again for endoscopy despite the narrowing, for what. During surgery and after surgery all materials are send to pathology anyway. In my opinion she should have surgery as soon possible before it metastases. Last time I wrote her comment to find another surgeon. Of course she doesn't listen to people.

I agree with you 100%

There were three adults in the room ... with I'm sure plenty of opportunities to ask questions of Dr. Wonderful and his nurse ... and all three of them are sitting in the car still as confused as ever.

To be fair, I think it’s partly shock

 

[Petro48]

Do you guys think that Tif just puts on a front in front of Matt and family members so that she is appearing strong? She did say she hates seeing other people upset.

I'm beginning to believe that. She hides her feelings in front of them, and I think that seeing her family upset also makes it more real and frightening to her as well. There is always a lightness to their reactions that is difficult to understand and relate too. Then there's me...instead of putting it on you tube I'd more than likely be under the covers sucking my thumb.....well maybe not but seriously I can't imagine...

 

[victoriabelle304]

T's denial, avoidance & delusional/magical thinking have come to an abrupt end. I think for the first time she is realizing the gravity of the surgery. It is sad & troubling to witness. But Previously, "surgery" to her was "removing the bad stuff from my tummy". Like removing a bad mole. A one & done.

T has very low emotional intelligence. What 30 year old says, "it's so yummy" constantly. "Yummy" is what a 4 year old says.

She is in no way emotionally prepared for what lies ahead. I'm actually surprised the surgeon is willing to proceed given how she has coped up until this point. I do not see her handling this well...

Agree with all of this. Best thing for Tiffany is to get off YouTube for a long while and get some mental health therapy. The holidays are going to be hard for her.

 

[penny1992]

I'm really sorry she is going through this. It's horrific and the surgery is so awful too. Recovery will be tough. I imagine some type of physical therapy will be involved.

Her face truly looked haunted at the end of that video.

 

[PuzzlesAndWine]

Seems strange that 3 of them were not really concerned but were chatty in the car after the meeting. Her sis and Matt showed no sign of worry or disappointment/sadness that the tumour has grown and that she needs surgery soon. They seem to take it so easy. However, the last bit of the video when she was alone, really showed her fear of the unknown.

I've been wondering if they are all trying to be upbeat around her and not come out and say how horrible the situation really is or act upset in front of her. If she sees them not too concerned and continuing to do normal things, then maybe they think it will help her, which if that's the case, it did more damage because she was still oblivious and reality is sinking in.
And sadly, my bet is that she never gets this surgery, either she changes her mind or she isn't going to be in any kind of condition to go through it.

 

[ladyt7087]

T's denial, avoidance & delusional/magical thinking have come to an abrupt end. I think for the first time she is realizing the gravity of the surgery. It is sad & troubling to witness. But Previously, "surgery" to her was "removing the bad stuff from my tummy". Like removing a bad mole. A one & done.

T has very low emotional intelligence. What 30 year old says, "it's so yummy" constantly. "Yummy" is what a 4 year old says.

She is in no way emotionally prepared for what lies ahead. I'm actually surprised the surgeon is willing to proceed given how she has coped up until this point. I do not see her handling this well...

I agree 100%. Watching her is like watching a 5 year old.

 

[suzeq]

Did he not know until Friday what that involves?

No it has not been explained to US the extent of the surgery on the table! I think that is the issue, WE were never told the original proposed surgical plan; we've had to try to piece it together ourselves based on her baby language of what she's been told/experienced and glimpses of medical diagnostic information.

It sounds as if the area in which the tumor grew has now put removing the colon on the table when 8 weeks ago that was not part of the surgical plan.

Yes, it does sound like the original plan was not as extensive. I wonder if it had been confined to her lower rectum/impinging on vaginal wall, hence no need for full colon prep for EUAs?

I so wish Tiffany could spend a few minutes writing out on her pinned comment, or verbally explaining at the end of the video, a concise 5 minute update to help clear up all this confusion. Just a brief explanation to summarise would have put their car talk into a better light and prevented her viewers yet again from walking round and round in circles trying to interpret and guesstimate what was meant, etc.

Sure, they were initially overwhelmed coming out, we understand that. But, couldn't she sit down with a calmer, clearer head and discuss the basic situation afterwards? Why oh why does Tiffany make it so much harder on us; wasn't this supposed to be the purpose of Tea on Tuesdays?

Additionally, the diagnosis of cancer/surgery sends most patients into the Kubler Ross stages of grief, the most common of which is denial.

Actually, Kübler Ross posited a theory on the stages that the terminal ill go through after being given a terminal diagnosis. For some reason, it continues to be parlayed into established generalised 'grief stages', but it was originally only intended to describe the phases often experienced by persons advised that they were dying (in no particular order and can cycle through a stage any number of times): denial, anger, bargaining (with G-d), depression, and acceptance.

I just think it was odd that her sister put it on her social media, in light of the somber situation. Even if I was in the mood to have cake and pizza, I wouldn’t be up to taking pictures and posting them on Instagram.

Exactly! I can't for the life of me understand why she felt this event merited a public audience. It's not like she posts multiple times every day, so an absence would have been noticeable. So why post this meal??

 

[HulloC]

Hello everyone! I've been watching Tiffany's videos for about a year now. Started watching her as I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer last year, and found her videos on youtube to be a comforting watch during my own treatment. I went through chemo around the same time as her and have only just started to find her content getting a bit ridiculous. Then i discovered Tattle life! So here I am and I'm so glad I'm not the only person who felt this way - her comments are all full of positivity and it's all sunshine and butterflies over there I thought I might be going mad.

From the very beginning, she has always mentioned her treatment plan was chemo, then surgery, tick tick tick and done. Always seemed to be looking forward to surgery as an endpoint in her journey. And I always thought to myself "wow, does this girl even know what surgery entails?" I remember when she was told she would have to have radiation before surgery and got upset because she wanted surgery to be over with. I always thought that that was strange, that surgery was definitely NOT the simple procedure she was envisioning. I don't know, but it always struck me as odd. It was only after the NO SURGERY video that I realised that she had finally realised what surgery was going to entail.

I feel so sorry for her and her seemingly not wanting to know any details about her health, choosing instead to live in lala-land. For someone who has been through a harrowing cancer journey herself, I can tell you that being aware of every detail is so important - it helps you make the best decisions for yourself. I can only hope she pulls herself together and has the surgery that will save her life. I just can't fathom how it has taken her this long to realise the impact surgery would have on her life. Though not on the same scale, from the second i found out i had breast cancer, I already braced myself for the eventuality of a mastectomy. I didn't get one eventually, as I chose to do a lumpectomy under the advice of my doctors. But surely getting up to speed and reading up on what surgery would consist of is what any patient (with basic comprehension skills one acquires after the age of 10????) would do?

It appears to me that Tiffany thought that surgery only entailed going in and removing the tumour, like how you would take the trash out.

 

[Blue skies]

I think apart from Amma who is helpless, nobody in her family ‘genuinely and truly’ cares about Tiffany’s cancer and she herself, sadly needs to be babied. It’s a pathetic situation. I wonder if it was Matt or her sister going through this cancer journey, would they be more hungry for answers, research in depth, be more serious in their care plan etc? Tiffany is not smart at all. Her life is at stake and she’s not doing her best to fight by diligently doing the right things, changing her diet, lifestyle, research, etc. Her priorities are wrong. She only lives once but she has placed YT before her life. The money will be useless if she’s no longer around or is not going to have good quality of life. Why can’t she get this?

 

[lisette]

The WW Was never a good a Good idea in my opinion. Why would the doctor mention her mental health when her very life was at stake, is still at stake. She should’ve gotten the second opinion that all of the people who got ticked ticked ticked were advising. Six weeks turned into eight weeks turned into another 6 to 8 weeks where the cancer is growing and growing. I understand trusting a doctoShe should’ve gotten the second opinion that all of the people who got ticked ticked ticked were advising. Six weeks turned into eight weeks turned into another 6 to 8 weeks where the cancer is growing and growing. Doctors are fallible and a second opinion is always worthwhile no matter what. One problem is Tiffany doesn’t have Intuition or self-awareness. She’s used to depending on other people for validation. I hope this turns out well for her.

 

[Ionia]

Agree with all of this. Best thing for Tiffany is to get off YouTube for a long while and get some mental health therapy. The holidays are going to be hard for her.

Agree, plus in many of her videos she mentions she was crying non stop in various scans she had to do. If she cries and screams during scans she definetely needs mental help support before the surgery, to prepare her.

 

[ladyt7087]

Hello everyone! I've been watching Tiffany's videos for about a year now. Started watching her as I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer last year, and found her videos on youtube to be a comforting watch during my own treatment. I went through chemo around the same time as her and have only just started to find her content getting a bit ridiculous. Then i discovered Tattle life! So here I am and I'm so glad I'm not the only person who felt this way - her comments are all full of positivity and it's all sunshine and butterflies over there I thought I might be going mad.

From the very beginning, she has always mentioned her treatment plan was chemo, then surgery, tick tick tick and done. Always seemed to be looking forward to surgery as an endpoint in her journey. And I always thought to myself "wow, does this girl even know what surgery entails?" I remember when she was told she would have to have radiation before surgery and got upset because she wanted surgery to be over with. I always thought that that was strange, that surgery was definitely NOT the simple procedure she was envisioning. I don't know, but it always struck me as odd. It was only after the NO SURGERY video that I realised that she had finally realised what surgery was going to entail.

I feel so sorry for her and her seemingly not wanting to know any details about her health, choosing instead to live in lala-land. For someone who has been through a harrowing cancer journey herself, I can tell you that being aware of every detail is so important - it helps you make the best decisions for yourself. I can only hope she pulls herself together and has the surgery that will save her life. I just can't fathom how it has taken her this long to realise the impact surgery would have on her life. Though not on the same scale, from the second i found out i had breast cancer, I already braced myself for the eventuality of a mastectomy. I didn't get one eventually, as I chose to do a lumpectomy under the advice of my doctors. But surely getting up to speed and reading up on what surgery would consist of is what any patient (with basic comprehension skills one acquires after the age of 10????) would do?

It appears to me that Tiffany thought that surgery only entailed going in and removing the tumour, like how you would take the trash out.

You are exactly right about what she thought her surgery would entail. But its even more ridiculous because I know her surgeon would have explained it all to her way before now. Back when she first met with him in May

Her Dolt Cult on her YT channel is also part of the problem. They reinforce her delusional thinking and give her a reason to continue living in la la land. The ones I can't excuse are her family and Matt allowing this delusional thinking to continue, even now. And participating in it themselves.

 

[Ionia]

Well, I don't think her YT performance matters much now. What I saw in the last few moments of that video was not contrived, but rather a very painful awakening happening. So very sad. Perhaps living in denial for 8 weeks was a gift of sorts, especially if delaying surgery has not jeopardized her survival chances. I have a sinking feeling, have had a sinking feeling, that perhaps the surgery is not being fast tracked because of a poor prognosis, and worry that now the surgery is palliative. Also, it seems strange for yet another biopsy to be performed, the scans should show where all of the cancer is located. They sure didn't give specifics did they, such as how many and which organs are involved. That seems strange to me. I would think the team would have been quite specific about that, but the three of them truly did not seem to know specifics....oh well. The look on her face at the last moment of the vid was pure shock and sadness. Just awful.

Agree with that. Just as strange as the “ wait and see” approach her doctor suggested for so many weeks and without further therapy. I have said before, her condition is very serious.

 

[Sheba]

Well, we got more information than we expected. If they are keeping her in hospital after the biopsy it is likely to be 1 more round of scans for surgical planning.

They want the freshest scans because the imaging is where they plan everything that comes out in 1 piece. They choose the margin, and draw imaginary lines between bony landmarks. They know where they will cut before they go in. It's not one organ at a time, but 1 big hunk, and thus they have to flip the patient over to cut from the back as well as from the front and up from underneath. Then reconstruction.

I watched a 10 minute overview of technique on YouTube and I am amazed. They are so careful to clearly see every millimeter they cut and keep the blob in situ so they don't lose track of where their margins will be in moving around all the soft tissue.

 

[Hollie Day]

I wonder will she give them an address or will she suggest they donate to a cancer charity instead