The Unlikely Dad

[Boobooboo]

I remember right at the beginning he said he might let Kai into the play park anyway and they’d see how he gets on without it. Obviously Kai is an exception to the rules...You always get the one parent in each class who thinks their child is the most important and that the rules can be adapted for them, that is definitely him!

They’ve not really followed the rules at all have they? Picnics with grandparents with no social distancing from pretty early on (with hugs). Then when we were told we could be in gardens, there were stories of them in houses and people in their house.

Just don’t post about it!

 

[Timefortruth]

I used to follow him, but he unfollowed me when I wouldn't send him rude pictures back to him. Strange behaviour from a married man.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I used to follow him, but he unfollowed me when I wouldn't send him rude pictures back to him. Strange behaviour from a married man.

What? Are you a man then? Seems a bit random...

 

[Boobooboo]

I used to follow him, but he unfollowed me when I wouldn't send him rude pictures back to him. Strange behaviour from a married man.

What???? So he send some to you?

 

[Nixen]

I used to follow him, but he unfollowed me when I wouldn't send him rude pictures back to him. Strange behaviour from a married man.

Plz spill the tea

 

[Sp20191]

Why is he letting Kai touch all the surfaces in Starbucks?! I mean he does know there’s a virus going around right?!

 

[MrsJones83]

Why is he letting Kai touch all the surfaces in Starbucks?! I mean he does know there’s a virus going around right?!

I don’t know if I’m being too protective, but my kids haven’t been in a shop since the beginning of March. We took them to the park late on Sunday afternoon for the first time.
I just don’t feel the need to take them out in public and expose them yet, I still feel it’s risky.

 

[Sp20191]

I don’t know if I’m being too protective, but my kids haven’t been in a shop since the beginning of March. We took them to the park late on Sunday afternoon for the first time.
I just don’t feel the need to take them out in public and expose them yet, I still feel it’s risky.

Nope mine haven’t either! They’ve been home, in their grandparents garden or out for a dog walk....they haven’t stepped foot in any indoor area! I mean I know Kai is back at school so he is mixing with other but that’s a more controlled place but they seriously don’t give a tit about him touching things he shouldn’t (like the surfaces in Starbucks or when he touches all the magazines in the shop!)

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I don’t even think it’s risky for children really, children are unlikely to catch the virus. The problem is he could easily go around spreading it by touching everything, but remember, the virus doesn’t affect their family...

 

[MrsJones83]

Nope mine haven’t either! They’ve been home, in their grandparents garden or out for a dog walk....they haven’t stepped foot in any indoor area! I mean I know Kai is back at school so he is mixing with other but that’s a more controlled place but they seriously don’t give a tit about him touching things he shouldn’t (like the surfaces in Starbucks or when he touches all the magazines in the shop!)

Ah yes sorry my eldest is back at school for 2 days a week, but I feel it’s cleaner and more controlled than a shop/cafe etc.

 

[Nixen]

As usual the rules don’t apply to their family - Kai going around touching all the surfaces in a public place and then he’ll be all over his grandmother this weekend - nicely spreading germs. Good one Tom and weird hippy husband ... you’re doing a fairly tit job of this parenting thing

 

[sailorcherries]

I don’t know if I’m being too protective, but my kids haven’t been in a shop since the beginning of March. We took them to the park late on Sunday afternoon for the first time.
I just don’t feel the need to take them out in public and expose them yet, I still feel it’s risky.

I feel the same. I have taken my eldest with me twice due to no other choice (temporary split from husband and the youngest was seeing his dad that day). I felt sick the entire time and although he is 10 I was still doing the whole "keep your hands in your sleeves, don't touch people, only touch the trolley handle bar once I've cleaned it, hand sanitizer on the way in and out" etc.

I haven't taken the youngest and the eldest hasn't been in a shop since. I felt like a horrific parent but we needed food ...

 

[DidsJJ]

I believe Kai has ADHD/ASD or something similar. He has spoke about how challenging the behaviour can be, how he has struggled with school/behavioural issues and so on. It was also hinted at when he was berated for going for more than one walk a day despite them being allowed.
Kai might also be categorised as vulnerable due to being adopted and his birth circumstances.

Adopted children often have a condition called attachment disorder that causes a range of behaviours which I would attribute to how Kai behaves.

I get what you’re saying, but Kai was placed into foster care from a few weeks and then he went from them to Tom when he was adopted,
I’m not saying that doesn’t cause any sort of attachment issues, but it doesn’t explain or excuse a lot of the behaviours.

no one is blaming Kai or tearing him apart, personally I just find it sad that they can’t see how much they are ruining that child...it is the parents who are responsible for his behaviour and a lot of his behaviour couldn’t even be explained or excused by a diagnosis, a lot of his behaviour is rudeness and he is over indulged, they can’t go to the shops without him getting a toy, makeup or chocolate, if they give family members gifts he has to open them, the constant snatching, ignoring people when he’s being spoken to, even children with SEN would be taught that these behaviours are wrong, we can’t always make excuses, some children are just spoilt.

If you read Tom’s twitter you can see it all there, he even posts saying it’s easier to say yes and he does talk about his rudeness and hitting in one post...I think he needs some help with his parenting as I do really think he is struggling, he doesn’t help himself by being soft, but I think he does need some help to get out of this harmful habit of saying yes to everything.

Attachment disorder can develop in the womb and even if if a child is adopted at days old having never lived with their birth family it is often still present.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Adopted children often have a condition called attachment disorder that causes a range of behaviours which I would attribute to how Kai behaves.


Attachment disorder can develop in the womb and even if if a child is adopted at days old having never lived with their birth family it is often still present.

Yes, I have got a degree in early childhood development thanks. I would be more keen to agree that the behaviour is as a result of attachment disorder if there was any evidence of that.

For one, they always state that Kai has never had any issues with attachment, I’m sure he might have mentioned it if it was otherwise.

For two, you can clearly see Tom enabling a lot of kai’s behaviour, the snatching, answering back, being rude, ignoring when he’s being spoken to, not taking no for an answer, climbing all over furniture in coffee shops ect... he also quite openly admits he doesn’t like to say no to Kai as it doesn’t give him an easy life and you never witness him correct any of the unwanted behaviour.

obviously no one can say for certain that he doesn’t have RAD, but at the same time, no one can say for certain that his behaviour is because of RAD either. At the end of the day, not all behaviour can be excused by a condition, sometimes it is down to parenting largely.

 

[sailorcherries]

Adopted children often have a condition called attachment disorder that causes a range of behaviours which I would attribute to how Kai behaves.


Attachment disorder can develop in the womb and even if if a child is adopted at days old having never lived with their birth family it is often still present.

I'm also well aware of attachment behaviour, attachment theory and the link between attachment, trauma and behaviour.

However TUD himself had hinted at ASD/ADHD and I believe also went in to more detail about it.

 

[DidsJJ]

Yes, I have got a degree in early childhood development thanks. I would be more keen to agree that the behaviour is as a result of attachment disorder if there was any evidence of that.

For one, they always state that Kai has never had any issues with attachment, I’m sure he might have mentioned it if it was otherwise.

For two, you can clearly see Tom enabling a lot of kai’s behaviour, the snatching, answering back, being rude, ignoring when he’s being spoken to, not taking no for an answer, climbing all over furniture in coffee shops ect... he also quite openly admits he doesn’t like to say no to Kai as it doesn’t give him an easy life and you never witness him correct any of the unwanted behaviour.

obviously no one can say for certain that he doesn’t have RAD, but at the same time, no one can say for certain that his behaviour is because of RAD either. At the end of the day, not all behaviour can be excused by a condition, sometimes it is down to parenting largely.

I think sometimes you have to live with a child with attachment disorder to be able to see those behaviours in other children.
But you’re definitely right there’s no evidence either way.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I think sometimes you have to live with a child with attachment disorder to be able to see those behaviours in other children.
But you’re definitely right there’s no evidence either way.

They thought my nephew might have an attachment disorder at one point and to be fair, he might have. He certainly didn’t have an easy relationship with my sister, but a lot of his behaviour could also be put down to my sister wanting to be his friend rather than his parent. Anything he wanted she would give him and she didn’t say no to letting him do pretty much anything he wanted. She also didn’t correct him when he was rude or disrespectful either. It’s a difficult one to diagnose when there are other factors to consider.

 

[Spagbol]

He is seriously irritating me about his holiday. Mate, tens of thousands of people have died and so many people have lost their jobs or are barely surviving on a lower income than usual. Of course we can all complain about small things but from day one of this virus he’s acted like a complete arse about it, as if nothing can touch him or his family. Rules don’t apply etc etc. It’s just nauseating seeing influencers complain about their holidays being cancelled and just having had a brand new kitchen fitted while some of us mere mortals are scrimping and saving to afford the weekly food shop

 

[Sp20191]

He is seriously irritating me about his holiday. Mate, tens of thousands of people have died and so many people have lost their jobs or are barely surviving on a lower income than usual. Of course we can all complain about small things but from day one of this virus he’s acted like a complete arse about it, as if nothing can touch him or his family. Rules don’t apply etc etc. It’s just nauseating seeing influencers complain about their holidays being cancelled and just having had a brand new kitchen fitted while some of us mere mortals are scrimping and saving to afford the weekly food shop

Oh god yes... I’m sure they only booked this holiday a few weeks ago, I mean why bother booking during a GLOBAL pandemic if you’re not prepared to have it cancelled, cannot believe how much he keeps going on about it!

 

[Nixen]

They can just go and then quarantine when they get back.. but he wouldn’t want to quarantine because he hasn’t followed any of the guidelines so far and obv Kai is such a special snowflake that the rules wouldn’t apply to them