The Tim Tracker #99 I’ve got 99 problems and Jenn is all of them

[2020planner]

Wow, that's just soooooo adorable and not at all gross Nikki. Also, is "connected" is the new word for "codependent" and "enmeshed"?
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Ok, Ms_Nikki. We all really didn't need to learn about your "gassy" husband that you found "really cute" because of it.

WTF is wrong with these stans?

 

[Forest]

So busy you guys. We’re in between nannies right now and trying to pack for our trip. Oh and financial planning

 

[GrittyFacedBoo]

Why is she so passive-aggressive with J$?
"That's a lot of ice cream!" He's going to have some anxiety around food if she keeps doing that. She does that often I notice instead of just explaining to him the importance of nutrition.

I hope when he’s older he turns the tables on her and says, “that’s a lot of appetizers/wine/sweets/meals, mom!”

 

[Quasimodo]

Can you imagine quitting your entire job because you didn't want to drive anymore????? Sounds like some lazy/privileged/codependent bullshit.

Ginn says driving a golf cart is different than driving a car because it's not "like, on a road with a lot of traffic". BITCH YOU LITERALLY DROVE A GOLF CART FOR MILES IN STREETS SHARED WITH CARS WITH TRAFFIC ON ANNA MARIA ISLAND.

 

[Quasimodo]

I'm sorry, I've had panic attacks, and I can't even imagine just completely QUITTING MY JOB which pays my bills after ONE PANIC ATTACK.

What. the. fuck.

 

[JssLG317]

Can we all acknowledge the new little hats on our profile pics. Since most of us seem to have extremely flattering pics of 4Dinners, it’s a nice little bonus.

 

[Hippotracks]

I once saw a duck eat a lizard and it looks exactly like Jenn eating a donut.

 

[HereForTheT3a22]

I don't think they are going to forget Halloween, I think they've essentially cancelled it for J$ all on their own. There are on 2 Halloween cruises left on the Wish. The 3 night which is Friday--Monday. So J$ would miss all the fun stuff going on this weekend and Monday, actual Halloween, they'd get off the ship, drive home and be so exhausted from the cruise. OR the 4 night, which leaves on Halloween, which would just make is seem like an ordinary day cruising for J$, not real Halloween Trick or Treating fun.

I don't think they'd do a 3 night, in which case Halloween will be embarkation day and I'm sure 7pm bedtime. They absolutely suck as parents. So much for those core memories.

They honestly should not have been parents. Infertile would have been a “blessing” to all 4 of them.

how can you just suck so badly? And have so many people praising you for being “amazing parents”.

 

[2020planner]

OMG you are right, I totally forgot the middle name thing. Maybe she was named for an aunt and said aunt is now J's nanny?

OMG. Do you actually think they're trying to pull a fast one and "pretend" they have a new stanny named "Bea" but are opting possibly not to show her anymore on camera - like, at all? Not even the food? And to prevent people from asking "wHaT aBouT whAt Lyn gOT to EAt? WHeRe's LyN aT?"

I mean, what are the odds since it's Lyn's middle name?

Leave it to them to try and concoct some stupid scheme like that.

 

[HereForTheT3a22]

Recap:

Jenn is still perpetually disgusting

They WILL forget that Halloween in in 6 days

We WILL get some sort of ridiculous excuse followed by the phrase “youuuu guyyysss” or “thank you so much for understanding LLLLLLL uh huh huh huh huh *nervous laughter*”

 

[HereForTheT3a22]

Tim’s new favorite phrase is “just as an FYI”

Shut the fuck up Tim

 

[Quasimodo]

Gosh, I can't believe my own parents never bothered spending money on a month's worth of car washes so they could film my blabbing and nonresponsiveness as I sat in a car seat where I was improperly strapped in. Sure, they provided me with nutrition, knowledge, attention, values and morals, but damn it, nonstop pointless wasteful car washes really would have been the cherry on top.

 

[Hippotracks]

Yeah . . . Lynn's not comin' back.

 

[2020planner]

boodle on the job again. The last sentence floors me with the shadeView attachment 1681545

I honestly can't believe our pal Boodle is still able to post! Surely by now, seeing that Tim actually deleted an innocuous comment that she responded to, Jenn would have informed him of Boodle's status. I mean, the stans called Boodle out several times now.

Does Jenn actually not read on here as much? Long Live Boodle!

 

[Caligirl123]

I don’t really get why they don’t just send J to daycare…he would get to make friends and would probably get a better education too. Are they just too lazy to even drop him off and pick him up? They have to have someone come to them cause Jenn can’t drive?

Simply put: Because their lives are far more important than that of their child(ren).

These kids will be the ones who ultimately “pay the price”

 

[xmasbdaygirl]

It’s not too late Trackers, buy your kid an actual ghost costume.

 

[Quasimodo]

She was waddling so much in the Walmart parking lot, I almost got motion sickness. Completely drunk people walk with more stability than her. And yet another fatty tongue sighting.

Dim says dinner was a salad as if that doesn't count as dinner. Salad counts as a complete meal, Dim. Crazy concept, I know.

Blueberries are expensive, but apparently it makes total sense to buy a $50 "carwash membership" for the month because your kid wanted to go through a car wash. And I'm gonna say it again - if you have time to pointlessly go through a bazillion car washes for shits and giggles, you're not busy. And then after the pointless carwash, Ginn is also talking about some frozen dinner she loves during her grocery haul for when "you don't have time to prepare dinner" as if the bitch even remotely understands what it's like to be a working parent. Or working person in general.

 

[honestrands]

Not if your parents drug you up for a ‘5hr’ nap.

 

[GrittyFacedBoo]

I don't know if this is normal cause my sister and I would have never dared to smack our parents, but I can't say I mind seeing it happen to J¢'s egg and sperm donors.
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I’m still hoping he’ll rip that nose ring out of her giant beak. Maybe prop # 2 will take one for the team and give it a good yank.

 

[Commobore]

Over/under of 0.5 on the number of actual car washes used during a month after that impulse purchase.....I'd take the under based on the number of times they went back to Peppa Pig World after raving about how much $J loved it.

"Mom, mom, can I have blueberries?" Rough translation of garbled Martian.
"No, you'll take your month's supply of car washes and like it."