Coming Home To Some Disappointing News.. 
Lazy’s day is starting in the wardrobe room. The nursing home nursing chair has been moved in there. She has new baby bits to organise before she automatically throws them away. Lazy’s wardrobe needed a good clear out because she doesn’t
fit into wear a lot of the clothes anymore. They’re probably going to charity. She has baby bits she wants to start organising. She organised acrylic organisers from Amazon but they’re a lot smaller than she was expecting. She didn’t read the measurements. Folding.
Lazy tells Mila to put her dummy in and look in the mirror. Apparently she said “I want to be a crybaby. Goo goo ga ga”. Screeching about vests. She needs more tiny baby. First size in Asda is massive. She’ll get a few more tiny babies. She’s going to put dummies in as she never knows if the baby will want one. They will be sterilised.
Along with Lazy herself hopefully. The Ultralight dummies are best for breastfeeding babies.
Isla and Mila share an apple, cheese and banana toddler snack plate. Creepstopher dressed Mila today and took it from the pile going to charity. He always dresses Mila in clothes on the floor rather than getting them out of her wardrobe. Content feels fresh when they get home. They’ve been doing renovations but after a week she questions if she can do anymore in case people get bored. Banging on about clothes. Time for an hour of learning with Jace. He can write his name now. Then Lazy is going to do DIY.
Mila is distracted on the floor with stickers. Time for Jace to put some dots on some letters.
Lazy, Creepstopher, Esme, Mila and Jace are in the car. They’re off to the pet shop. Isla didn’t want to come as she’s playing with her Guinea Pig. Isabelle is doing work. Some of the advice they’ve been given is a bit conflicting. They’ve decided to do what they feel is best after doing research. The new cage is due to arrive today. Lazy got something similar to a C&C cage. Creepstopher moans about the Amazon order. He calls “love” Isabelle and tells her to listen out for the door. They don’t know how big the Guinea Pigs will be. They’ve ordered new beds as they were adorable. Lazy has ordered a big hay order from The Hay Box with toys. She’s ordered fleece liners as they had no idea about the sawdust causing respiratory problems.
Didn't Guinea Pig expert Granny Groomer tell them? Creepstopher says it must be fine as Pets at Home said so. They need to get more water bottles and a bowl each. They line up behind each other to drink.
Pets at Home. Mila picks up one of the ‘edible’ gnaw carrots that are made of clumped up sawdust and a massive hazard to small furries. Quick school lesson for Jace about how rabbits like carrots the best.
Another myth; carrots are high in sugar and should be limited. Jace denies this and says the carrot is just a decoration. The only thing that’s been spoken about the past few days is the Guinea Pigs. Creepstopher wouldn’t expect Lazy to be the most petty person as the cats she had would be gone within a year. Her mum put the dog up for adoption. She could never buy a pet and then sell it on. Creepstopher always asks to hold Isla’s Guinea Pig. It’s cute how Prinny is obsessed with them.
She’s probably deciding which one to eat first. She’s spent three days next to the cage watching them. They’ll lick her nose.
Jace finds some large black crickets. They look like something that lurks under Creepstopher’s beanie. He removes them from Jace’s hands before he releases them into the wilds of Doncaster and causes mass panic.
Lidl reminiscing. Daily food shop. Jace has cold ears today so is squeezing them.
Home. Lazy is disappointed. The cage was delivered but they’ve only delivered one. They had different “modulars” and they needed two. It says two have been delivered but only one has been. They ring Amazon. The guy was cool and refunded them. They bought another cage with that money. Creepstopher puts the cage together and tells us the plans for Squeakabelle Manor. Jace wants to get in the cage. Creepstopher shows us the new Guinea Pig beds. The girls have all bagsied one each. Isabelle’s is now called Pepsi.
Lazy needs to be cracking on with jobs but Mila has fallen asleep on her. She rarely does it anymore. Lazy sometimes sleeps with her hands above her head.
Guinea Pig haul. Lazy hopes nothing is bad stuff. Esme convinced her to get Healthy Bites odour care for small animals.
I can already tell you that’s a load of crap; the best way to stop animals smelling is to clean them regularly. Lazy thinks treats are like cabbage, carrots and strawberries because Esme said so. They’re going for a sleepy neutral area and a fun play area as Esme wanted colour in the cage. Dangerous play bridge made of the same clumped together sawdust and flavourings as the carrot from earlier because “it looks cute”. Jace thinks the Guinea Pigs will be able to fit under it but it’s only big enough up to rat size anyway. Hay roller. Another toy made of clumped sawdust. Some other tiny crap toys. I think the wicker tunnel is the only suitable thing but they may get stuck in it as they grow. Treats for once a week because “we don’t want them massive do we” (Sarah ‘Lazy’ Louise Ingham, 2023). She asks the ifam how often to give the treats. Lazy confirms they only got stuff because it looked adorable, had the word ‘luxury’ in it or was ‘floraly’. She shows us the Haybox order. Quick recaps of colours for Mila. Prinny knows she can’t go too close to the Guinea Pigs and she’s an extremely good dog.
Mila has caused chaos in the wardrobe room.. Freebie cardigan from an ifam. Lazy needs to sort the drawer. The plastic drawer dividers don’t fit so she steals some Ikea baskets from Mila’s drawers. Moaning about a fly. She starts sorting and will do the rest tomorrow. She has enough in first size - 19 sleepsuits. Squealing about the first Halloween outfit. Lazy can never do anything after dinner.
Kettle boils. Lazy talks to Mila and rubs her hands through her hair. Funeral music plays as Creepstopher pulls the crematorium curtains. Shots of the bookcase and garden from the balcony. Jace’s room and bathroom. Lazy picks at some cream covered fruit.
Lazy’s stomach has hurt today. It felt really tight and the baby was pushing on every organ. She tells the ifam to push their stomach out as far as they can and that’s how she feels today. It’s like her skin is going to rip. It’s probably how baby is laying.
Esme and Isla have been having sleepovers since they got back. Esme gave Isla an extra sleepover pass for doing something for her. Shesmiles smugly. Now there’s no more until Friday. Isabelle is out on Friday night. Isabelle and Esme are going out to Leeds tomorrow to film a video. Esme likes to know where everyone is and be with Lazy and Creepstopher all the time. She texts them all the time when they go to the supermarket. Lazy will starts a new pr-oh-ject tomorrow. She has a plan for the living room. The playroom need to be sorted. She wants to start the kitchen or baby’s room.
End of vlog
