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woopsiedaisy

Active member
So Chris tries to open the door can't because of the seat belt so Sarah shouts oh we are going to have to tell them now. NO Sarah your husband edits all night (supposedly) so he could of just edited that bit out..simple...and we would never need to hear about it as you said you didn't want to bring down the vibe of the trip. You two 🤡's are really desperate now..
 
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thegreencow

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WOKE UP IN THE NIGHT TO AN INTRUDER IN OUR VAN.. (BURGLED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT)

Creepstopher welcomes us to a monumental day of the trip. Everyone has been excited about today. It’s 29°. They’re moving 20 minutes inland to a very special place. First they need to go to Lidl - the boss of Portugal. Creepstopher films himself closing some doors. He goes to open the drivers door but the seatbelt is tucked into the inside handle. It’s his “extra safety method” for night time. Lazy screeches that they’re going to have to explain why they do that now.

Lazy moans about the flies. She wasn’t sure she was going to talk about this on the vlog because they like happy vibes. Creepstopher tells her to make sure she has all the details correct. In France the van got burgled whilst they were in it. It was 2/3am and Creepstopher was editing on the step in front of the bedroom. All of a sudden the curtain burst open, a torch shone in his face and a man with a balaclava was stood there. Creepstopher literally pooed himself. He’s never ever been instantly so scared in his entire life. Well not since he was confronted by big scary Kayak Paul. His reaction was good as he jumped straight up and ran out after him quicker than lightning. He chased him but the man was quicker than lightning. He was stood there in his boxers and socks shouting “come on then. Where are you? Show yourself.” but with more rude words. It got the attention of vanlifers around them and they helped Creepstopher by drying his tears, calling Granny Groomer for an emergency care package of tuna sandwiches and finding his dummy. The truckers told them a trick. All of the service stations were great in 2020 but now they’re over run by truckers. It was an opportunist idiot. Motorhome doors have a weakness where you can drill into the door handle. Everything was locked up but the burglar was able to screw the screwdriver in, flick the thing up and open the door. The locks are being upgraded. Creepstopher has been putting the seatbelts through the door handles so the doors are jammed shut. They went to a store straight away and bought a clamp thing. Creepstopher’s headphones were in but he can still hear things. Lazy is a light sleeper but didn’t hear anything. They didn’t tell the kids for a few days but got caught out as Esme was quizzing them. Lazy doesn’t like keeping secrets. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. They travel and stay in Aires all the time and it was a random one off. The burglar are took off with Creepstopher’s expensive phone. The TomTomGo app doesn’t have the truck feature on IOS so he had to buy another Android device to run it. They were able to disable and wipe the phone straight away so it won’t even turn on now. There seems to be far too many details to this story. A tall tale. Lazy definitely knows too much for someone who was asleep. Mila climbs into the front cab for water. Creepstopher says she has the terrible twos. The door handles will be replaced with high security ones when they get home. You need a key fob for the side doors.

Driving. Arriving at TurisCampo. Lazy squeals that she’s so happy right now. She shames Esme for the remnants of food around her mouth after eating. Jace asks Lazy which shoe goes on which foot but she tells him he knows because they showed him. This is their favourite campsite in the world as they lived here for two months in 2020. When they went to book online it was fully booked for a van of their size. It didn’t confirm the booking so Creepstopher called them. There was no pitch of their size but they moved people around who didn’t need a pitch of that size and squeezed the Inghams in. Jace is excited about having a massive hill the scuttle bug down. They didn’t go to Greece because the girls wanted to relive TurisCampo. Greece is next time. Creepstopher thought it was the prefect time in life to relive it. Hopefully there will be a cancellation to extend the trip a little bit.

Lazy feels huge. Babe climbs onto the roof to unscrew the awning. Jace finds a pine cone. Awning. Lazy helps Mila with a rocket toy. She thinks she got the phrase ‘bits and bats’ from bit bats. This is the best pitch they’ve ever had. The girls have gone off on their scooters for an explore. Jace and Mila are playing a hoopla game. She’s holding a white ball, drops it, Jace grabs it and tries to snatch the bat off her too. Mila’s squeal alerts Lazy and she tells him not to snatch. Then she tells Mila not to snatch the ball off him and to go and get another one. Jace is told to get another bat and not snatch off other people. He looks shocked to have been told off. Creepstopher has some bruises (or dirt) on his legs. The garage is organised chaos. The ironing board hasn’t been used once.

The girls are back from the shops. Isla got bubble-gum. Lazy screeches at her because she keeps wearing pyjamas. She didn’t want to get dressed as she was too hot in the van. Isabelle got cute bracelets at the shop. Esmé’s arm is full of manky bangles. The carton chocolate milk tastes better than the one in the bottle. Mila wants her own rather than sharing with Isabelle.

Woking to the pool focussing on Isabelle. Pool footage. They send Mila down the slide without anyone holding onto her and slow down the footage. Water fountain. Creepstopher films through a mesh fence. Esme and Isla dance.

Isabelle says the restaurant has had a glow up. Esmé says Isabelle’s face has had a glow up. The pool was super doooooper busy. The spa pool was 34°. It was like a bath and so nice. Jace asks if he can eat the orange peel but Lazy says no because it won’t be very nice. Photo of Mila having a nap in the buggy.

The Inghams weren’t planning on coming to the restaurant tonight for reminiscy times. They missed the sunset thanks to Mila falling asleep. Creepstopher deep cleaned the van to get rid of those terrible balaclava clad Frenchman germs. It's busy outside. The past few days have been the best. A girl walks past the Inghams’ table and stares at the freak show. They have a bit of time here and have already started the journey home. This is the best pitch they’ve had all trip and it’s nice to end it on a high.

Shots of the average food. The pasta looks very dry. Lazy has enough chips to feed an army.

Esme shows us a photo of herself from many years ago when she went to school and had an education. If you asked her what algebra is she’d tell you it’s a Taylor Swift song. She thinks she looks like Mila.

Water Is poured into mugs and a Tommee Tippee bottle to make tea. The meal was absolutely delicious. They’re going again before they leave as Creepstopher needs a club sandwich. Lazy gave him a quarter of a piece of her sandwich and he shared with Isla. He tells Isla to shush and get back in her bunk so I’m guessing he didn’t share at all. Creepstopher loves Portugal as the days are hot but the evenings are cool. He feels so lucky tonight and they walked past the old pitch. Lazy breaks the news that Sinead O’Connor has died. We’re living in one of the saddest times as legends from Creepstopher's childhood are passing away. Hopefully waste of oxygen Creepstopher won't spend long on his mortal coil. Sorry not sorry. The world has begun to be very weird and it was profound being there last time. He’s not sure how long they’ll be there. Comment below if you watched in 2020.

End of vlog

Sinead died on 26th July. They're three days ahead.
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Bumfluff80

Active member
24.56 are they really making tea in a baby bottle…….. they are thick as.. although I suppose as all decisions are deferred to the kids if Mila wants a Malibu and Coke for her tea, she’ll have a Malibu and coke for her tea
 
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Malcolm Conkers

VIP Member
If anyone has a vague chance of making it as a ‘vanlifer’ it could be Isabelle. Hear me out!

She’s young, slim and attractive so has the ‘look’ and once she turns 18 could prance about in bikini tops parking her little converted 1 bed van next to beaches and vlog herself doing yoga and day to day routine of how she lives in her van, maybe get a little dog to ride along with her too. There are loads of these types out there.

She even could just do it around the UK if she didn’t want to go abroad, going down to Cornwall and then up to Scotland etc visiting interesting places.

But because she’s scared of her own shadow and doesn’t have the least bit of inclination to make something of herself she wouldn’t even consider it 🙄

Come on Izzy, at the moment you have the perfect opportunity to develop something for your future, don’t get stuck being a babysitter!
She would be better advised to delete her accounts and try to discover her authentic self, than persevere with this ill-fitting ’personality’ that they allocated her.
 
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Susie64!

Active member
So the drill in the lock didn’t wake anyone?

A door opening and someone rooting around didn’t wake anyone?

Creepy running screaming naked through a campsite where you can hear someone in the next caravan fart at 2am (time?) didn’t wake anyone?- apologies, after reading green cows fab write up I see this is incorrect x

The bigbadman didn’t see creepy sitting on the steps and think “ah he’s awake- best not steal from him- he looks scary”

The bigbadbalaclava man didn’t think “wow wow wow look at that amazing renovationed bit of agriculture- I’ll never be able to rob that! Best go for this car over here with no one in it”

It’s almost like that smell is bullshit and not just the festering vile man that is pedalo creep
It's a very bold move to drill open a van door in the dead of night on a crowded camp site! Burglar must be very bold or very thick! Surely watch the family all go to the beach during the day and when it's noisy and he could have had a good few hours to rob! Also when lock the driving section doors, was there not an alarm? Was there CCTV on the site? Sorry but I smell bullshit too and its
not just from the great unwashed!
 
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slmapg

VIP Member
She’s still at it. Not one moment of that little reel looked spontaneous/real. The actual vlog footage was even worse - Jace first then it was a shot of her standing in the same position with Mila reaching up to her. She cannot deny that it wasn’t set up. Jace was looking at the camera throughout which imo is a big tell tale sign as well. He’s been told to do something for the camera so he’s looking for the thumbs up that he can stop the acting and go back to whatever it was he was doing before. She probably called Mila over herself and told her what to do. Guess what Sarah, I experience this myself a lot but from a genuine viewpoint and I actually hug my kids back. I believe it’s staged as well as so many others with children of their own.

As for the second screenshot, that person has sadly lived a very sheltered life if she thinks that is what an amazing Dad is. Does that person not realise there are parents all over who document their family memories in the same way but unlike Chris, we don’t film our kids for money and those memories are our own. It’s the kids that have allowed them these opportunities not him, he’s blowing their future savings away with all these purchases he makes.
😂😂 go live your best life lazy, or is this really it, sitting in a stinky motor home replying to strangers on the internet trying to justify why you are a pair of pricks, really what you are aiming for? 😂🤣
 
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Kikini Bamalam

VIP Member
For this week's Memory Monday, we remember the messages sent between Creepy and the fifth girl to come forward back in July 2018, Jessy. (I have been looking for these messages for SO long and have finally found them 🎉).

Jessy was in her early twenties in 2018 and had her own YouTube channel. Creepy allegedly messaged her and told her that she was hot and had 'a sexiness that guys especially would wanna watch'. After she told him that she used to dress like a chav, he told her that he still had a thing for chav lasses. He apparently liked girls who wore hooped earrings, gold chains and who 'wore their socks pulled up over their fake Adidas two stripes' (better get ordering some hooped earrings and gold chains from Shein Sarah). He also invited Jessy to get a 'Chinese n chill or whatever.... ' and said that he was 'always game'. He then told her she was 'more than welcs to hit up his hot spot for WiFi anytime'. Sad, dirty little man 🤢.

Jessy went on to make a diss track about her experiences with Creepy, which was really good. According to tattler Keepyernoseout, Jessy was threatened by the Inghams' solicitors, Levi Solicitors, and unfortunately, was ordered to take the diss track down. If any tattler downloaded it at the time, please share it here as it would be so great to watch it again.

I love the way that Creepy calls himself creepy before anyone else does..
"Hardcore seshing on the blades" :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:



It is interesting that he seems to have given up the bad boi bladding since deciding he is a #vanlifer though. Mind you, he would absolutely snap his cankles if he tried to do his trick now due to his every expanding waistline, the greasy, tubby wanker
 
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Vesty

Chatty Member
Calling BULLSHIT n boy if someone try to burgled you back in France at the start of the trip (1 month ago) you would of told everyone by now as it would of made content and gave you a vlog title well before now you dirty n liar you might pull the Woolie beanie over your thick wife’s eyes but you can’t pull it over a tattlers eyes
 
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Jesuschristo

VIP Member
Izzy has been wearing that same bikini for almost two weeks and you just know it’s not been washed or probably even rinsed through once in that time. Holy yeast infection.
 
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thegreencow

VIP Member
TURISCAMPO POOL PARTY DAY & RELIVING SOME VERY SPECIAL MEMORIES FROM LIVING HERE IN 2020!

Lazy screeches good morning. She’s just said goodnight in the Q&A. Creepstopher and the kids went to the pool an hour ago. She feels sorry for him having to edit it as he’ll probably have to cut half the footage. She’s nervous but didn’t say anything bad. She asked people to be nice in the comments and not be nasty to other parents who don’t parent in the same way as them. The poor poor pregnant wife hates the camera as she can’t eyefuck herself in the viewfinder. It’s horrible. Ridiculously loud music over Lazy talking about her drink.

Pool. Creepstopher says the weather is gorgeous. Yesterday was windy so they didn’t film. They’ve had a notification that the European heatwave will arrive there in the next few days. He bet the girls chocolate milk that they couldn’t get him underwater but they managed to do it. He spent an insane amount of time in the campsite shop in summer 2020 and it feels so cool to be back.

Creepstopher managed to find sun cream. He isn’t a big drinker for someone who seems to have a beer with every meal but he found a litre of Sagres for 1.50€.

Lazy is in the pool. Creepstopher has fixed the viewfinder. She has a full face of make up. They’re in the “tauris-cam-poo” swimming pool. There are jacuzzi jets all around the seating so the moment they turn on she flies out of the pool.

Pool. Waterfalls. Esme has a lot of sun spots/freckles on her face so I hope they are being strict with the sun cream. Creepstopher challenges Esme to swim from one side of the pool to the other underwater without coming up for air. The pool is very long. Creepstopher boasts that he thinks he can do it. Esme manages to make it across the pool. She says it’s Creepstopher’s turn. Camera cuts. Footage of the girls.

Transition back to the rv. Everyone has had showers as they’re off to a beautiful restaurant in Luz. Esme is so excited to go on the bikes and scooters. They’re recreating a memory. They were vegetarian last time but they’re flexitarian tonight. Lazy has been doing maths with Jace and Mila by putting dolls on the shelf and removing them. Jace is hyper and messing up his hair, which Lazy had just done. Mila identifies animals and their sounds. Jace looms over her shoulder.

Creepstopher had to put the awning away because the wind was about to take it away with the van. The bikes and scooters in the evening has become his favourite part of the trip. They can go anywhere. They bought the scooters in 2020 and they had a lot of usage going into Luz. It’s one of their fondest memories.

Creepstopher points out the old pitch. Scooting to Luz.

Praia Da Luz beach. So gorgeous and calm. Creepstopher remembers sitting on the rocks with takeaway pizza to watch the sea. The place is a boss. They’ll have to eat at the Saffron restaurant before they leave. Gorgeous church. Lazy takes photos of the kids. Isabelle has a photo taken with a random homeless man. My mistake… it’s Creepstopher. Clever Mila points out boats and fishies in the water. Shot of the cheese slop pasta tummy. Beach. Church.

Unfortunately the Inghams couldn’t get a table with a spinny bit in the middle at the restaurant so they got a long one instead. They’ve way over ordered. They’ve gone for sweet and sour, chicken and black bean, chicken almond, chow mien, Singapore vermicelli, dumplings for the girls, chicken and mushroom soup for Isabelle, chicken and sweetcorn soup for Lazy and Creepstopher, chicken and oyster sauce, 3x rice, 2x chips and sweet and sour spicy. You can never get a dessert at a Chinese takeaway but Chinese restaurants do the funkiest desserts like battered banana. Lazy is 29 weeks pregnant today. They set off for the trip at 23 weeks pregnant. They flew to Turkey when she was 19 weeks pregnant and returned when she was 20 weeks exactly. The trip has gone really fast but been the best.

Lazy squeals about how cute her soup is. Isla says Mila’s toes look like dumplings and that’s why they want to try them. Shots of the food. Lazy thinks they did really well. Mila asks where Dadda is. He took Jace to the toilet. She is buzzing because she got a Peppa Pig fork. It’s actually a spoon. Isla liked the oyster sauce. Isabelle liked the almond chicken. Esmé’s favourite was the sweet and sour chicken and almond chicken. Lazy’s was the black bean, as was Creepstopher’s. They had to order another bowl of soup as Jace ate an entire bowl of it. Lazy ate lots too.

The Inghams remember the ice creams in animal shaped cups. Lazy, Creepstopher and Esme are too full for ice cream but everyone else is having one. Daddy opens Mila’s toucan cup. Isla chooses the blue bird, even though the cups are clearly designed for young chuldren up to about 7 years old. Isabelle has a coconut ice cream.

Emotional music plays for the journey home in the pitch black. Creepstopher has put the big metal awning poles on the camping chairs so they don’t fly away. The wind is mad. Craziness. They’re getting settled for the night.

Creepstopher cannot tell us how wicked it was to go into Luz and relive the 2020 feels. He apologises to Babe for not pronouncing his T’s. It’s nice to be back at the van. They’ve ticked off bucket list number one. He doesn’t know if we feel all the feels as well but 2020 was a crazy chapter on their lives. Something wicked is happening tomorrow in a little throwback to 2020.

End of vlog
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K, so like.... how do I get in on this bill holiday?! Do I get to just....not pay for my apartment for the time I'm not there? Because I work 60 hours a week so if I could just not pay 1/3 of my rent and utilities, that'd be fucking grand (and I mightn't need to work 60 hours a week....). lol. Or does it only work if you're #vanlifing?

Also, is your username a Sarah-ism? Because I'd like to know the story lol
I think just send a few napkins with the times you’ll be away to the relevant people and all will be well.

My username is indeed a Sarahism 😊
They were in Singapore a couple of weeks after Chris’s victims started coming forward. Sarah was trying to sound smart (which as we all know never goes well) saying how she loves travelling and seeing new places, learning about other agricultures
🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
 
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Peachylace

Chatty Member
Banging on about how breastfeeding is the best thing for baby yet at 6 months old they are Lazy-led weaned on Greggs sasuage rolls..make it make sense.
 
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Anni1312

Chatty Member
I think that kid shouldn't have a say at 4yr old what happens to his hair.

He didn't have a say being dragged around Europe,
He doesn't have a choice in clothes she buys for him,
Education that is held back from him,
Friends who were never made.

So why is it a crime to trim hair that is in bad need of it?!
 
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MissWinnie

VIP Member
Is that fat bastard having herself a kip while her 5 other kids fend for themselves . We all know the pervert dose fuck all but hey get up you fat lazy cunt.
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Mila was led asleep behind her without any protection on her head / they were led in the sun as well as the shadow was only there when Creepy was standing over them. Lazy & Mila could have stayed back, Mila could have napped alongside her but no Chris needed to do this trip and wouldn’t have been able to take both little ones on his own 😡

She’s clearly struggling now & I think her trying to convince people otherwise is just for the camera because she seems to be making a big deal out of it being nothing when it’s clear as day that the pregnancy is not being kind to her. I bet he’s still taking his time to drive them back up to the UK.
 
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Bobsmith

Well-known member
It’s amazing how everyone they come across falls over themselves to help them ALL the truckers helped creepy to track down the burglars and helped with advice on how to secure the van. The lady at the campsite moved the entire campsite around to fit in their massive truck so they could have the best pitch ever! So many ifam in Europe it’s amazing 🙄🙄
 
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Behelzabobs

VIP Member
Sarah said his hair isn’t thin it’s the way it’s tied up and looks thin because of it’s length

no Sarah it’s thin because he has traction alopecia from his very fine hair being tightly tied back in pony tails every day for hours and hours

three of my sons had long hair but I never tied it in a ponytail, their hair was thick because they had regular trims and it was washed regularly

Jaces hair has had god knows how much chlorine in it from countless pools, and it’s been tightly tied up

cut his hair, don’t cut his hair but it’s a mess and you have made it like that
 
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Diversity Dugong

Active member
Creepy gave chase in the outfit Izzy was wearing earlier in the day for her softcore porno insta shoot

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I love Rik Mayall but he gives off pure Creepy vibes

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Puppet

VIP Member
Calling it now… creepy will go get the snip ‘done’ ALONE as lazy needs to baby sit the kids. He will come home being a big fat baby like he is and act out a recovery. Whilst not actually getting it done at all and the lazy will be pregnant again.
I can absolutely see this happening. He will claim the procedure must have failed and he has super sperm that can survive the snip. 🤮
 
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I see a small cake company in Leeds has declined to supply a celebrity with cakes in exchange for social media exposure. The lady politely attests that her mortgage company will not accept instagram promotions as her monthly payment and that the staff cannot feed their kids with Facebook posts.

LAZY PLEASE READ AND LEARN. YOU MIGHT THEN START TO SUPPORT SMALL BUSINESS’ WITH ACTUAL MONEY RATHER THAN THE NEGATIVITY YOUR HUSBAND’s MISDEMEANOUR THAT FOLLOWS YOU ROUND LIKE AN UNWELCOME RASH WHEN YOU GO EGGING FOR FREEBIES
 
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