Feeling absolutely delighted to have found out I won on the premium bonds tonight. Maybe that's what Lazy meant when she said they have other investments.
DRIVING TO NORWAYS CAPITAL OSLO & CLIMBING THE ROOF OF THE OPERA HOUSE! WINTER VAN LIFE NORWAY
The blinds in the hotel room rise to reveal a stoooooooooninnnn bridge and the ocean. Creepstopher opens the door and heads outside. He shows us the restaurant. This is almost certainly an ad from the effort he’s putting in.
Lazy has always wanted to ring a bell. Isabelle is getting a coffee. The best thing about low season is they have breakfast all to themselves and it’s so cute. Cute pans. Lazy shows us all the food. Lazy thinks some red bell peppers are carrots and then she calls them tomatoes. She thinks about how nice it would be in summer. Footage from breakfast. Esme and Isla head outside.
The Inghams are about to check out. Lazy shows us Mila’s cardigan and the view. She forgot to bring clothes from the van so will either change in the van or stay in the clothes from yesterday. They’re heading to Oslo and she is excited. They debated what to do on the trip. They decided to do a bit of Sweden and a bit of Norway. Swedish Lapland looks incredible but it was a 17 hour drive.
Oslo is pronounced “oz-low”. Creepstopher starts mouthing off. He has already got a shot of the hot tub. Driving. Creepstopher is wrapped up in his coat and snood.
The Inghams have stopped to fill up with water and diesel blah blah blah. Isla has been doing some work on a light and wants to share some facts. Shadows are caused by a light source when there’s an opaque object in front of it and it can uses a shadow. Creepstopher interrupts to moan about the price of the diesel. Translucent and transparent objects don’t have shadows. A water bottle is transparent. Light is a source of energy and emits light. Light only travels in a straight line. Lazy prompts her to say what refraction is. Refraction is where light bends. Crystals slow down light into loads of colours. White light is where white light shines on a white object and all colours reflect off it. If it was red light then all colours except red shine off it. Lazy tells Isla she’s a clever cookie. Creepstopher is still moaning. It’s now more expensive than in the UK. The girls have done schoolwork. The diesel comes to 1490kr. Creepstopher starts making some of his faces. It converts to £122. Pizzas last night were 590kr. You’re not really a millionaire if you live in Sweden because it won’t mean the same in England.
Creepstopher washes the van windscreen. They only stopped to put air in the tyres. Lazy asks why when she enters a new country she looks dodgy. Creepstopher said “hello sir”. The man didn’t ask for passports. Lazy doesn’t reveal how long they’re staying in Norway for. The man told them to have a lovely holiday. Five minutes ago it was sunny. Over the bridge and through border control there is now snow everywhere. Wintry wonderland Norway. Driving
The Inghams are in Oslo. King Jace is having a meltdown over his mittens. Lazy tells him to take them off but that his hands will be cold. He will learn from his mistakes. Mila doesn’t want her mittens on. It was a 45 minute drive around the city and they couldn’t find any parking. They found somewhere near the Oslo Opera House. Lazy has heard you can walk onto the roof. Creepstopher parrots everything Lazy just said. He tells us Oslo is the capital of Norway, the first city when you cross over from Sweden. It’s -4 and due to get down to -8. They’re only in Oslo for today. Two things they were recommended to do is the opera house.
The Inghams are shocked to see people swimming outside in the cold water. Those guys are hard core. It was a rush in the ocean last night but Creepstopher doesn’t know if he could do it in the ice ice. He’s doing it on this trip but not here. King Jace screeches about big snow. The mittens are back on. Mila and Isla walk along a wall.
The Inghams wanted to walk on the ocean side because the view is nutso. Shots of the view and pigeons (?). Lazy hasn’t seen so many birds in one place at one time. Esme said it was raining birds. King Jace wants to slide down the slop on the way back but Lazy says he can just play in the snow instead. More view footage. Creepstopher films Lazy and the girls walking back down off the roof.
King Jace has been desperate for the snow. He runs over and Lazy tells him to be careful. The pile of snow has been swept off the pavement and is pure ice. King Jace is told he can’t climb on it. Two people in electric scooters looked so cool because they were spinning on the natural ice rink. The weather is a shock to the system. Lazy’s hands and feet are not cold. Her cheeks are chilly. Creepstopher and the kids climb on the snow pile. He takes Mila to the top and lets her slide down. She and King Jace have 2 coats. Creepstopher grabs her by the coat on her chest and drags her up as usual before swinging her about. Isla’s hat falls off and she says she has a wet bum from sliding down the snow. They head to the ice rink because people have been walking on it with normal shoes. It feels like velvet under your feet. Lazy bets it’s a fountain im summer.
The Inghams find a play park on the way back to the van. Screeching. King Jace and Mila go on one of those spinny roundabout things you lay on. King Jace keeps demanding to stay there longer. At the end Creepstopher drags Mila off it like she is one of the reborns Shittle is trying to flog. King Jace and Isla go on a spinning see saw. Mila is out on Isla’s lap and then left unsupervised. Then it’s Lazy’s turn to go on with Jace and almost crush the poor boy. He seems to quiet down when Lazy is on it, probably as he’s concentrating on breathing whilst the great lump squashes him.
The Inghams have had a snack and setup the vlog. They’re heading to “Vije-land” Park with 150 statues. The windows look worse than before Creepstopher cleaned them.
It’s -5 but feels -9. They have a 15 minute walk through the park. Sheets of ice are everywhere. They brought a big selection of gloves and hats. Music with echoes of screeching. Creepstopher tells Isabelle there is a totem pole with 121 naked bodies on it and it took 14 years to make. A sign on a gate says ‘closed in winter’. Lazy has read the reviews. They find a different entrance that is open. The steps are closed as they’re too icy. Isabelle has fallen over already. She felt like Bambi. Photos of the kids looking at the totem pole. The dark footage is poor.
Back at the van, Mila is asleep in the backpack. No one is very hungry as they’ve snacked a lot. Lazy fancies cheesy beans on toast. They have bread they need to use up. Lazy doesn’t like European bread as none of it is Warburton. Lazy brought a lot of bread. Cheese in Europe is expensive and tasted rubbery. It tastes like cheese string so she brought 4 blocks of cheddar.
Isabelle show us the weather. It will be -10 by 8am. It’s 20.1° in the van. The heater is staying on all night.
Driving. A candle is lit. Tea is made. They drove around the corner to a beautiful shot. Creepstopher and the girls went for a walk. King Jace sings and then Lazy duets with him. She is excited to head north. They’re about to read Jace’s favourite Curious George Valentines book.
End of vlog
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He treats her like a bloody ragdoll.
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Probably the only time Jace and Mila will ever be near one, definitely won’t be the last time Chris goes to one
What mother lays her little girl in the freezing snow for a photo op? Smh.Poor child looked totally confused. 
