SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED IN OUR BATHROOM!
Oh dear, did Creepy run out of period pads? A blocked pipe due to food poisoning from Lazy's cooking?
Friday 21st December
Today on the 'Inghams Waste Food Show', Lazy and Creepy have poured an entire box of shreddies down the loo and pretended it's the elves. Sorry if it's 2027 or something and you had to find out via Tattle that the elf stuff was all done by your parents, Isla, but that's what you get when they treat you like a baby for years. I don't know if we're still around but I hope you can escape from your toxic family. Lazy wakes Jace up. He crawls up the stairs to Esme and Isabelle's rooms. Isla comes downstairs first and sits on the sofa next to a less than impressed Esme who rolls her eyes. Creepy has left early to go to the Ibis post office and STI clinic tip. Lazy tells the girls and Jace that she feels like kicking the elves back to the North Pole because of what they have done. The girls walk into the bathroom. Something seems to happen off camera because Lazy sighs and then Jace screeches that he didn't do anything. Esme suddenly looks upset and Isla copies her reaction. Esme tells Isla that one of the elves moved. They have friends coming around who usually use the upstairs bathroom. Jace wants to eat the cereal. Advent calendars. The elves and advent calendars take up half the vlog, finishing after 9 minutes.
Creepy has done errands this morning, including tip runs and other things. The things they have to do are hard to vlog. Lazy reminds us that she has a smear test. Suck up the TMI because it's important. She was shocked at the figures of the number of people who miss them because she's right there. You're not right there when your baby needs to see a doctor though are you, you freak? She reminds the 12 year old ifam to book their smear tests. She forgot it was the Christmas holidays and sorted the schoolwork out last night. Esme has taken Mila upstairs to babysit her whilst Lazy wraps presents.
Meeeeeeeela is back downstairs now. She's in her chair. Creepy has gone to pick up Granny Jane and Hi Steve's caravan. They'll explain why later. Lazy's smear appointment has been cancelled, due to the GP being short staffed, and rescheduled for Tuesday 5th January. She's glad because she has so much to do. She's wrapping up clothes for Isabelle and is jealous of the jumpers. Esme has changed Mila's nappy and got her to sleep for an hour. The deadline for getting presents to Santa is tomorrow.
That was the most intense couple of hours of Lazy's whole entire life. Creepy is hoovering in the background. Jace asks Lazy if he can have a mini roll. Esme says he's already had one today. Lazy asks if he wants an apple but Jace says no because it hurts apples. The friends are about to arrive and she wants to show us some serving plates she got from Home Bargains. They didn't put up the extra lights on the bifold doors. Creepy got himself a mulled wine warmer as they had bottles left over from Switzerland. Lazy tells Esme that wine tastes better the older it is. Creepy underestimated the side of the warmer.
Lazy disturbs Isabelle, who is reading on the sofa. They've got the wine cups out. They've also got the red wine out because their friends drink it, although the Inghams don't. There is also a bottle of Disaronno. Jace runs over because his boo-boo won't go away. When Lazy asks if they should go and find Mila he says "no, let's not". Mila is in the living room with Isla, who has taken over babysitting duties, and they're listening to Christmas songs. Footage of the Christmas tree and party food.
Saturday 22nd December
The kids and Lottie come downstairs. Of course it was Lottie who came to stay, she's the only 'friend' the girls have. The poor girl probably doesn't have any say in the matter. Creepy is lurking in the kitchen. They find the elves in the kitchen, including Lottie's elves. Creepy, who is hiding in the background. says the elves have come for a sleepover. The elves are cooking Haribo eggs for breakfast. Of course Jace has to 'try' one. Lottie has brought her advent calendar with her and is sat at the table for filming. I never took my advent calendar to a sleepover. What sort of weird cult is this?
Esme and Lottie are in the kitchen making those cheese and bacon pastries Lazy used to make with the pre rolled pastry. She tells them they need to put egg wash on them. Esme asks Lazy whether it's alright that she washed her hands five times after touching the bacon. She aks if there will still be germs on her hands. Lazy reassures her there won't be.
Lazy's dad (Neil) and Isla are in the living room playing a game with Isla's poppit. She showed him how to play and now he won't let her win. Neil doesn't seem to have much hair left so we know where Lazy inherited her bald patch from. Next they look at some old childhood mementos Neil has brought to show everyone, which include his baptism certificate, an old cast from 1968 when he broke his arm (his uncle was swinging him around and broke his wrist), his first pair of glasses, his first birthday cards and a vaccination card. Apparently Neil is only 55, although he could easily pass for md 60s. The Dixons and Inghams don't age well.
That's where they stopped vlogging because they had so much work to do. The second day was only five minutes of footage in total. Come back tomorrow to find out what Turkey-Gate was about.
End of vlog
