“The Ick”

[ChampagneBox]

This is so sadly true. Guys I've slept with in the past think going hard and fast is the be all and end all. I always try and be polite in case they're nervous and rushing because of that, but I actually want to say mate, I'm drier than the Sahara down here, can we go back to some nice slow foreplay?

What's even MORE annoying is when I politely move/adjust their hand or verbally tell them what I like, and they either 1) do it for two seconds then go back to what they were doing wrong or 2) get offended that I'm helping them out. Do you want me to have a good time or not Sorry for the rant, this is more The Rage than The Ick for me

(also another Rage is when they don't go down on women because "it's gross" but expect their dick sucked. hmmmm how bout no)

But then when you suck them off they refuse to kiss you till you brush your teeth? Says more about their dick tbh

 

[wotdidijustwatch]

My husband just told me his ex gave him major ick and would leave her rolled up used sanitary towels in the bathroom. Rolled up and rolled in tissue but left on the windowsil disgusting. She would also leave her used dildo on the floor next to the bed unwashed for a day or two. Tramp.

 

[skvallertant]

A few years ago I got chatting to a guy in one of my seminars at uni. He's 9 years younger than me and he asked me out. I let him down gently, but he still sends me the occasional "How's u?" (yes, u) or "xx". I just ignore it because I don't like just chatting, my tolerance for idle chat died when MSN did. Anyway he's just sent me a "" emoji apropos of nothing. It creeps me the fuck out for some reason and... What do they think you're going to respond to that?!

It reminded me of a guy I was talking to on tinder who, if I didn't respond within a few hours because I was working or whatever, would send a follow up message saying things like "I'm dead from lack of attention." wtf?

 

[Jaybtee]

when someone goes for a shit and its so obvious but they try and cover it up by spraying so much perfume, or whatever theyve found lol
just own it
now i don't fancy u
strange i know!

also when their lace is out flapping at their shoe on first date
just makes me cringe and i feel bad for them and just want it to end lol :x

there was one guy i dated for a few weeks and i thought i was going crazy (maybe cos i was drunk most dates) but he would stare intensely into my face and his eyes would open wide then go small but looking at me the whole time it was sooo weird and eventually made me just hate being with them
i honestly don't know what the hell it was

 

[azzarzar7]

People who use the phrase ‘me thinks’ Anyone. Immediate NOPE from me

 

[justapossum]

God, what an awful knob of a bloke

What's funny is that after all of this he asked for another date, and when I messaged him saying I wasn't interested, he blocked me on everything

 

[ChloChlo]

Laughing at their own bodily functions is a big ick for me also. Farts don't humour me. I'm not 5.

Helicopter penises or swinging bollocks so they catch them between their thighs - very Hannibal Lector with undertones of Jack the Lad. Just no.

Ordering themselves shit from Wish.

 

[SqualorVictoria]

Silly sausage has broken me

Years ago I remember reading on a similar thread to this about a guy who went off his girlfriend after she ate a boiled egg in front of him. He said the spark was gone after that. I don't eat eggs that much anyway but it stuck with me and I've never eaten a boiled egg in front of a boyfriend since

 

[Mooordgirl]

When a man doesn't take no for an answer; when he doesn't respect I'm in a marriage/relationship with someone else; or when he keeps telling himself: "Maybe this time. Maybe this time. Maybe this time..."

View attachment 275116

What is the expectation here, that I'm suddenly going to respond?

I just haven't blocked him yet because it's a car crash at this point. I want to see how long it'll take before he realises that's not normal, healthy behaviour.

Kind of obsessed with his decision to change from 'hello' to 'hi'

 

[Rbarb-bkini]

This is going to sound so petty as I wear glasses myself, but men who wear glasses that make their eyes look smaller.
I'm so glad my partner wears contacts

I once was hanging with a guy and noticed he had a bogey dangling out of his nose but at the time I didn't feel comfortable enough to let him know. He went to the toilet at one point and came back and it was still there! Which made me think he didn't wash his hands as surely every person looks in the mirror almost subconsciously when they wash their hands at the sink it was noticeable enough. That put me off him!

 

[Thechubbymoaner]

So..this is a deep dark secret but basically my husband was ill a few years back and as a result suffers with mental health issues and our sex life has suffered as a result. This really attractive bloke who lived locally to be added me on Insta and started messaging me and showing me a lot of attention. I initially was like no but I started to fancy him and flirt back. He wanted us to meet and I actually was considering a little...then the ick happened. He started saying how cheaply he got this and that for, and saying how little money he spends on his shopping, clothes etc.. I'm no snob but I can't stand people like that. He then said he saw a candle in a second hand shop and asked if I would like it. He then posted a pic in cheap ass trainers and I was like nope to that, no way! He then was getting really full on and sent a drunk sext referring to my vag as my ' privates' and that was it...cheap and horrific....nope! I feel so guilty because I adore my husband so much.

 

[petitspois]

Sadly I have seen one in real life. I described it to a friend (sorry, men!!) and she said "OH! A pyramid dick!" so I guess it's a thing? Haha!

I can't bring myself to watch naked attraction!!

I had a work zoom call with someone who'd been on Naked Attraction a few weeks ago.

 

[Flossy2019]

This lad I used to date had really massive hands and like fat fingers. He looked like he was wearing those fake foam fingers. It soon put me off him when I couldn’t stop thinking about his foam fingers

men who have messy cars/vans/houses etc
Mummy’s boys. I can’t stand grown men who are big mummy’s boys. Obviously be nice to your mum love your mum respect her etccc but gotta be able to stand on their own two feet

being called love. I’m not 80

really bad sexting-and using

Burping especially when it smells of garlic or beer

horrible toe nails

 

[justapossum]

I have loved reading through these!
I always thought I was weird, that I could date someone and really like them and then they do or say the one thing and suddenly I feel sick at the thought of them

For me:

• Chest hair poking out of the top of the tshirt they're wearing
• When they act a little camp, such as the way they talk or their hand movements, it's hard to explain (just to clarify, I have nothing against gay people)
• Turning little things into sexual innuendos like we're still at school, it's cringe and gives me second-hand embarrassment
• Smoldering photos or in general when they take themselves too seriously
• Being called hun - that's either by males or females, can't stand it
• Wearing trackies in public (unless popping to Tesco or something)

 

[Eastonell]

I LOVE an ick story, if you don’t already follow her Lalalaletmeexplain on insta does insta ick stories regularly. They’re the best.
So here are a few of mine:

- He sang to me in a busy restaurant
- Lockdown Tache
- Jumped up and down when the pizza guy knocked on the door
- Used to talk to me in a baby voice when asking for a cuddle
- Used my Bobby pins to clear wax out of his ears
- Said ‘by the by’ twice in one conversation

 

[Jaybtee]

Guys who say “hey you”

 

[aimzalicious]

Trying to rip your clothes off on date 3??

To be fair, in my dating days before I decided I'd had enough of everyone, the third date was usually considered the shagging date. Although now the shagging date seems to be the first date for many of my friends. The other day my friend went for a first "coffee date" that ended in seven pints and an overnight stay I think they're all getting it in before tier 3 happens on Friday for us in Manchester.

Also on an unrelated note, I've missed this thread and the regular posters here! I haven't been receiving notifications from Tattle despite having this thread on my "watch" list so I just assumed no one had anymore funny stories to share. Thank god I was wrong, I've just had a right laugh catching up on the past 4 pages.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Men do get the ick. One of my best friends was seeing a reception teacher and she spoke to him like a child. It was all drinky (drinks), silly sausage etc and it made him massively cringe and put him off.

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

Generic complements designed to move things on quickly, with you know that or you know it added onto the end.
"You're really beautiful - you know that?"
What's the correct response?
Yes i know, people tell me all the time.
Or no, i'm an orge.
Or how about, really am i? Tell me all the things about me that make me beautiful, more compliments! MORE!!
I think just.a complement as a statement os far sexier than a making it an open ended question.
But you know that, righttt?

 

[Chipstiz]

I’m a chronic lurker on these forums (mainly jack Monroe and cleaning with mario) but honestly had to come out of hiding for this I am HERE for the ick stories! I get it so bad some of the reasons I’ve gone off guys:
Saying “totes magotes”
Saying “going on holibobs”
Cringe during-sex chat
One bad outfit
Eating cold leftovers
Calling me beautiful/babe/sexy

Wtf is totes magotes even meant to mean