“The Ick”

[Allthehashtags]

My ex wrote me a heart felt poem..it absolutely repulsed me

 

[37BBL]

This is the best! Some of mine seem so petty but they proper make me have the ick:

Long fingernails
Saying can I give you a cuddle
Chomping when they eat
Slurping when they drink
Walking over to you in a bar, but dancing as they walk
Saying 'hello you'
Glasses perching on the end of thier nose
Nose hair or a bogey on nose hair
A big bum
Jewellery
A man wearing a full on football kit but not for the purpose of playing football

 

[Blade Runner]

I thought it was a typo. The Icke - the man who does the conspiracy theories.

 

[265]

Still enjoying this thread, shame there are no blokes in this forum, would love to read some "Ick" from the blokes.

 

[Moley1]

Still enjoying this thread, shame there are no blokes in this forum, would love to read some "Ick" from the blokes.

Having read most of this thread I am amazed that the human race is still going! It’s just as well men don’t read this or they would never attempt to date again!

Anyway, as a guy my “icks” are as follows -

Women who smoke
Women who wear far too much make up
Fake boobs
Women who swear constantly during normal conversation
Trout pouts
Millions of selfies on their insta page.
Wearing thongs when you have a very large arse
White tights
Pierced nostril or tongue
Bits of toilet tissue stuck to your flaps
Faking orgasms
Those huge bizarre false finger nails
Getting so drunk you fall over or vomit
Bitchiness
Shallowness
Expecting us to know exactly how you like to be touched without telling us and quietly getting the hump when we don’t get it right.
Fussy eaters
Obsessive shoe purchasing
Chavvy tats (don’t mind classy ones)
Vocal Tory supporters
Ladettes
Flat nipples
Hairy legs
Inappropriate use of dentistry during oral sex
Not checking that the tampon has flushed down the loo
Not checking that you have left any floaters in the loo
Narcissists
Women who get arsey with you and expect you to know what you have done wrong when you haven’t a clue.
Women who complain about the way men treat women and then sleep with other women’s partners anyway

I guess that will do for now

 

[Pink blancmange]

When they're 'looking for a travel partner'. I'm sure every male on tinder is and has travelled the world. Doesn't anyone just live a normal life going to work and doing normal day to day stuff anymore?

 

[holliebollie]

I’m really happy I found this thread... not just for the awful comedic icks we have all found but to make me see it’s not just ME!
My friends and family despair of me as I’m mid thirties, forever single and always finding weird reasons to end a relationship but they haven’t ever had to use a dating app- they don’t know how bad the dregs are.
PS: a recent circumcised convert... it was so much nicer. Better not add ‘has a foreskin’ to my list of icks or I really will be single until death.

 

[Readread]

Once slept with an American who just wouldn’t shut the fuck up during sex. I don’t need to hear you saying “oh fuck” or “oh yeah” or hear about my vagina. Absolutely not. Ick ick ick.

 

[Pink blancmange]

An ex of mine used to do accents all the time!! He'd already reeled me in before he started doing them so it was too late to run. It started as imitating celebs, people on TV etc then he'd start imitating me and doing a little girly voice. It was annoying as fuck but I let it slide. Until we went to visit my family for the weekend so he could meet them and he was imitating me constantly, to the point he only talking in my voice... Infront of my family. I felt like I couldn't even look my family in the eye where I was so embarrassed by him .

 

[LucilleBluth]

I’m sure this has been said before, but: guys who on their dating profiles write some variation on the theme of “I’ll hold doors open for you but then smack your bum as you go through.” You’d better fucking not. You can tell they think it’s the perfect mix of gentlemanly and flirty, but it’s just so contrived and awful. Hard swipe.

 

[Underhiseye]

I’ve only ever got the proper ick once, and it was over something ridiculous

matched with someone on tinder, asked me out after a day and I thought why not, date was in 5 days time. Messaged for two days and on the third morning he messaged saying “morning mischief” and it make me feel ILL! Don’t call me mischief I’m not 5 year old girl

 

[Crb250]

About 9 years ago when I was about 20, I'd been texting this guy that I really fancied in college. We'd lost touch for a couple of years while we were both at different universities but he messaged me on facebook out of the blue asking how I was while we were both at home for the summer, we exchanged numbers and were flirting for a while. He asked if he could pick me up from my house and take me out for date, to which I agreed.
And then he turned up in a Mini exactly the same as this
I felt so shallow but it instantly gave me the ick getting into it and it was all I could think about through our dinner date, knowing he had to drop me back off at home in it as well

 

[PrincessCharming]

My friend has false teeth. When she started going out with her man (30 odd years ago, now long married and have grandkids) he would ask her to remove them as a special treat for BJs. She was mortified but I think she did it with the lights well and truly off, and the rest as they say is history.

The inappropriate dentistry just brought back that info that frankly I’d rather not know

 

[Victoria sponge cake]

I’m newly single and getting back into dating and there’s been a far few things that have given me the ick already;
- men using cringe emojis such as
- constantly wanting to message, I’m sorry but there’s only so much conversation I can be bothered to have in one day
- to go alongside that, when they reply instantly, please chill out and find something to do
- I went on one date with a guy and after we’d been to the pub he took me to his friends house who he worked with, it was him and his partner who were old enough to be my parents. It was just the 4 of us sat in the front room and my date kept leaving me the with woman I’d just met. Towards the end of the date he said “so you deleting tinder now? I already have” ARE YOU JOKING?! after one awful date?

 

[Spencerskates]

Just remembered this one... no judgement please, I was 17 with questionable morals! I was sleeping with a guy who was married, and we were spending the night in a hotel together. Post sex, he went to the bathroom to put his pyjamas on before he got into bed with me

 

[petitspois]

I have many awful dating experiences...

I once had a (coffee) date with a man who turned up in a dirty fleece (sort of thing I'd wear to do the garden/ clean the car) and took it off to reveal a t shirt full of holes. He then overshared at length about his sexless marriage, his divorce, his subsequent relationship with a woman who may or may not have been born a man (and in graphic detail the reasons why he thought this). This was about a 30 minute conversation. If I could have left sooner I would. I still cringe thinking about it.

I also once went on a blind date (against my better judgment) with someone who was the height and build of a flat racing jockey. Perfectly pleasant guy, but shaking his hand was like shaking hands with an 8 year old.

Another one who said he was 6ft and muscular build. Turned up and he was 6ft but also about 4ft wide (looked like the bloke off The Chase). Said he did security but turned out his main 'job' was buying and selling tat on Ebay. Had an elastic bandage on his wrist that was all greyed and fraying which proper made me Ick central.

I can't tell you the number of unsolicited dick pics I used to get sent. Nothing gives you the ick faster than seeing the erect (and always quite averagely sized) member of a man you've never even met!

The dick pics are the worst. It must stem from them thinking their penis is something highly attractive and impressive that produces the essence of life. The videos are even worse. When they say your name while they are fiddling 'oh petits pois'
Once I got sent one where he turned around and bent over half way through, I turned it off. I still don't know what he did next.

 

[mcfeez]

Girls, what are the strangest things that give you the ick about a guy?

(The Ick is a sudden cringe feeling when you have romantic contact with someone: and become almost immediately put off by them)

Here are some of mine. They are so ridiculous I don’t know why they give me the ick.

-Wearing a backpack on both shoulders
-Wearing goggles whilst swimming
-Doing that awkward jog whilst crossing the road when a car stops
-Wearing jewellery
-Telling a joke but nobody heard so they repeat it louder
-Jumping up and down at a concert
-Really taking their time choosing a meal deal at Tesco

Please no harsh comments to me this is just a bit of fun and not intended to cause offence

I just had to comment and say these are hilarious! The meal deal one

As for the ick -
I like both genders so I've split accordingly

For women -
Fake tan marks and lines, like when a girl turns her hands over and you see white palms or the bit where the wrist meets and there are like patches
Women who pride themselves on "getting along with men"

For men -
Really short nails (like too short)
Bragging about work/work related skill/money (I don't like this either way but seems to be mostly fellas who I've seen doing it)

I meant "getting along better with men than with women" in my comment above

 

[aimzalicious]

It makes me smile that everyone here finds skinny guys icky. More for me

Literally me with every skeletal dark haired guy:

 

[Jaybtee]

Howling at this thread

things that give me the ick:

- mummy’s boys - assuming their ma will sort everything out
- Really bad tattoos - scrawly unprofessional ones or anything superhero related
- Having one really long neck hair ??? Why would you not just pluck that out!
- Fart jokes and school boy humour in general
- met someone who called me “lil lady” and even typed it out in a text! Died inside

Lil lady were you dating Johnny bravo

 

[HowlOwl]

Having a coin purse.
Having a belt holster for a mobile phone.
Having a comfy cardi to wear round the house.
Putting plates of food in a cupboard to snack on later (I don’t know why it wasn’t in a fridge, it just stuck in my mind at a boyfriend’s parents’ house.)
Bobbly or holey socks.