"The Ick" #7

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My husband uncle is always on some kind of diet and it gives me the ick everytime I have to see himโ€ฆ not even manly bulking up diets, but slimming world, WW etc ๐Ÿคข just be a bleeping man and eat!
 
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Prince Harry gives me the Ick. The wiry thinning hair. He also looks like he wears flip flops with bootleg jeans and listens to nickleback thinking heโ€™s edgy. ๐Ÿคข
 
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I just remembered a major one. Men who are in no way connected to but wear clothing with FBI or LAPD or NYPD written on it. Absolutely no excuse whatsoever.
 
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Oh hang on people Iโ€™ve just thought of an absolute cracker that happened to me years ago.

I was 23 and he was 25. I fancied him for ages and when he asked me out I was giddy.

For our first date he took me to the local weatherspoons!!! He had a red bull then proceeded to tell me he needed to go for a poo. Fucks sake. He goes toilet and comes back blaming the red bull.

we walk to our cars and I see he drives a red rusty D reg Nissan micra.

kisses me and the WHOLE tongue went in immediately.

my vagina sewed itself up.
 
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Oh hang on people Iโ€™ve just thought of an absolute cracker that happened to me years ago.

I was 23 and he was 25. I fancied him for ages and when he asked me out I was giddy.

For our first date he took me to the local weatherspoons!!! He had a red bull then proceeded to tell me he needed to go for a poo. Fucks sake. He goes toilet and comes back blaming the red bull.

we walk to our cars and I see he drives a red rusty D reg Nissan micra.

kisses me and the WHOLE tongue went in immediately.

my vagina sewed itself up.
Iโ€™ve just turned inside out reading this. Imaging the redbull breath too๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคข nah bye
 
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@swimming oh this reminds me of a first date i went on! Within 15 mins of sitting down in a pub with our first drink, he said he was going to the toilet. He spent, and I wish I was joking, half an hour in there. I thought he had climbed out a window and done a runner.
 
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Just seen an influencer (Ruby Holley in case anyone wants to get the ick themselves) post a video of her and her husband decorating the tree in matching pyjamas ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ the idea of them dressing up (especially him) in matching PJs and filming it gives me the ick of all icks. Why, as a man, would you agree to be filmed in tartan PJs? Have some self respect ๐Ÿคข
 
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Oh hang on people Iโ€™ve just thought of an absolute cracker that happened to me years ago.

I was 23 and he was 25. I fancied him for ages and when he asked me out I was giddy.

For our first date he took me to the local weatherspoons!!! He had a red bull then proceeded to tell me he needed to go for a poo. Fucks sake. He goes toilet and comes back blaming the red bull.

we walk to our cars and I see he drives a red rusty D reg Nissan micra.

kisses me and the WHOLE tongue went in immediately.

my vagina sewed itself up.
I don't understand why men need to announce to everyone they're going for a tit. Just go ffs. Even worse if they use an expression for it, such as 'going to drop off the kids at school hehe'
 
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I got the ick this morning after seeing my husband skidding on a patch of ice then grabbing hold of the gate to steady himself.
 
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