This is a long one, but seeing as it may well be the reason for the demise of my (previously happy) relationship, I feel it’s warranted.
I was on the school run with my boyfriend the other day. It was bin day and the bin men were doing their job. A piece of cardboard packaging had fallen out of someone’s recycling bin and was on the ground. Boyfriend and bin man spotted it at the same time. Bin man said “I’ll get that.”
Boyfriend said, “Nah mate, I’ll just get that for you, buddy.” (Calling him mate or buddy was already icky imo but it got worse
).
Boyfriend then reached down for cardboard as a gust of wind blew it a little further down the road.
I then watched my boyfriend chase after this bit of cardboard saying “Hehe! Nearly got it for you pal!” (Pal
) whilst the bin man just stood silently watching.
Eventually (it felt like a lifetime) he retrieved said piece of cardboard and handed it to the bin man with “What a tricky piece of rubbish. Here you go. Have a great day mate.”
I walked off.
I’ve struggled to look him in the eye since.
*Edited because of all the typos I’d made in my distressed state.
emoji next to “eating out”. That’s the bantersaurus in him. Good one Mitch ROFLLMAOiwanttofuckingdieHAHAHAHAHAHA. 
