The Frugality/Alexandra Stedman #7 Everything is affordable when it's #gifted

[Raker]

It really misses the mark for her audience/USP doesn’t it! Like I follow some sustainable/industry fashion ppl on Twitter and there are constant references to how much better clothes were made in the past & no buying years & mending & buying second hand, even just for non eco minded mums Vinted is so popular!

OMG yes! My mum died in November after a long illness and we’ve been clearing out her clothes — the quality drop in the last few years is so incredible, particularly M&S and Dunnes stores Our local hospice shop was thrilled with the donations, esp. the coats. There were ancient (well 80s I think ) C&A coats that were honestly like MaxMara compared to todays bobbins. Sadly all too big for me, for I am smaller than teeny tiny Jack Monroe, otherwise I would have kept them…

But honestly I just don’t get this account. It used to be good. I know it’s common to lose yourself/identity in the early infant years when you’re bing pulled in so many directions (children, work, just keeping going…), and I know she had a horrific trauma too, but what is it? Match boxes and fake Lidl receipts? Constant trips to Tiger? Empty flat bag flashing? What is it all about???

 

[Chocolate2008]

I really feel for you all going through the nursery/after school stuff — mine have just moved out of that age. We had no family near by so were completely reliant on these clubs for years following my working patterns. Although the staff were lovely, the kids were absolutely wiped out by the end of every week, Fridays (non working) could not come round fast enough for us all. They did, however, learn to butter their own crumpets at an early age at ASC, so you know, #lifeskills

But the thought of those two lazy arsewipes inflicting this on 2 very young children for no discernible reason is awful. Fair enough if there’s swimming or dance or something a couple of times a week — but every day??? And to what end?

Like many I use childcare because I have to for work. I’m certainly not mother of the year/Mother earth. I lack patience, and my kids watch more TV & eat more processed food than I would like. I’m also very inefficient.
So coming from a flawed perspective I know full well that if either of them wanted to mind the kids after school it’s 100% achievable, given they make their own hours & more significantly appear to do very little. I struggle not to judge them for not making it more of a priority. I think it’s very different to wanting a break now & again when you work full time.

 

[MedeaWho]

and I know she had a horrific trauma too, but what is it? Match boxes and fake Lidl receipts? Constant trips to Tiger? Empty flat bag flashing? What is it all about???

What was the trauma you are referring to?

 

[Raker]

Late stage twin pregnancy loss - just unthinkably awful

 

[Dizzy]

Like many I use childcare because I have to for work. I’m certainly not mother of the year/Mother earth. I lack patience, and my kids watch more TV & eat more processed food than I would like. I’m also very inefficient.

God yes, this is me in a nutshell! And I don't think anyone is saying that it's a breeze having kids - we all need a break from time to time. Kids are hard, it's often (usually!) a relentless, thankless task that will push you to your very limits but we do it because we love our children and want the best for them, because most of us know that you get out what you put in, we have kids to enjoy them and guide them and watch them florish, with all the challenges and irritations that that brings. Most of us accept that actually, what we want does take a back seat for quite a few years when kids are young (yes we can have snippets of fun and child free times but mostly our lives are dictated by our childrens because their needs come first.) So I can't help but ask, why even have children when it seems you'd rather be sat at home on your arse painting picture frames, arranging baskets and eating beige food than actually being with them?

 

[BlairWaldorf86]

Late stage twin pregnancy loss - just unthinkably awful

I’m sorry, I don’t mean to minimise this at all as it’s heartbreaking, but I don’t think it was late stage? She hadn’t announced she was pregnant. Horrible either way of course. But just for the sake of keeping this thread (mostly) about facts.

Edit to add pic from her blog:

Spoiler: What actually happened

 

[Greencatfysh]

She explains it here. She had a termination due to health issues with the babies at around 12 weeks

WHY I FEEL WEIRD ANNOUNCING I’M PREGNANT (IN A POST WHERE I TALK ABOUT BEING PREGNANT)

the-frugality.com

 

[MedeaWho]

Aaaan she’s back in Aldi. Wasn’t the last receipt meant to be their weekly shop?

God yes, this is me in a nutshell! And I don't think anyone is saying that it's a breeze having kids - we all need a break from time to time. Kids are hard, it's often (usually!) a relentless, thankless task that will push you to your very limits but we do it because we love our children and want the best for them, because most of us know that you get out what you put in, we have kids to enjoy them and guide them and watch them florish, with all the challenges and irritations that that brings. Most of us accept that actually, what we want does take a back seat for quite a few years when kids are young (yes we can have snippets of fun and child free times but mostly our lives are dictated by our childrens because their needs come first.) So I can't help but ask, why even have children when it seems you'd rather be sat at home on your arse painting picture frames, arranging baskets and eating beige food than actually being with them?

Let’s not forget how many weekends are spent on the sofa while grandparents mind the children.

 

[PineappleQueen19]

The River Island coat shilling goes to the heart of the cognitive dissonance of influencing. The entire premise of Alex as an influencer requires us to believe she loves this polyester coat, it performs well - therefore she’s recommending it to her followers. And it works, otherwise brands wouldn’t pay. Yet we are also expected to simultaneously understand that it’s Alex’s job- just like any other! - and she has bills to pay (not school fees or a huge mortgage though - thanks mum & dad ) and mouths to feed. Therefore ‘thank you for the support [of the crap you know I wouldn’t be seen dead in]’. If you call out the fact that she obviously does not wear nor love that cheap coat you are somehow a jealous unemployed hausfrau.

All of which is actually fine at the end of the day - people can unfollow after all - but influencers like Alex wonder why all of their claims (eg weekly shop) are then (rightfully) eyed with suspicion. She needs to get over herself.

tldr; live by the sword, die by the sword

 

[Greencatfysh]

Why do men with long hair always have it greasy and lank? I mean I’m not even gonna comment on Chris’ lock specifically. But has anyone ever seen a man with nicely washed clean long hair? * long as in shoulder length

 

[Dustye]

Why do men with long hair always have it greasy and lank? I mean I’m not even gonna comment on Chris’ lock specifically. But has anyone ever seen a man with nicely washed clean long hair? * long as in shoulder length

My OH does but only after I gave him a tutorial in looking after it properly!

 

[Exhaustednurse]

So frugal eating out in Central London in January

 

[uberoblique]

Quite. And I think they’re in Baozilnn which is pretty expensive (but good) for dim sum in Chinatown.

 

[Hashtagged]

After school clubs for Peg so they can go out to eat.

 

[gollygally]

Excuse me…she had 4 days work straight after a 3 weeks break.
She’s also multitasking because she’ll be eating and making mental notes

 

[Slippersandslacks]

So frugal eating out in Central London in January

it'll be written off as a business expense (it's for the blog...). Only us plebs that would actually have to pay our own money

 

[Raker]

Why do men with long hair always have it greasy and lank? I mean I’m not even gonna comment on Chris’ lock specifically.

I will. He looks like Eddie Hellfire Club from Stranger Things in that story

 

[SagaNoren]

It’s beside the point I know but I don’t understand these videos - “ways to style this coat.” Like I would get dressed first and then decide which coat to wear? And if it’s dry I might wear a trench coat or a blazer, or if it’s wet probably a raincoat and a puffa if it’s really cold. She always puts the cart before the horse IMO.

And lol at all her influencer friends commenting below - as if they also would be seen dead in River Island!

 

[whoareyoukidding]

That hair just gives me the ick

 

[MedeaWho]

Can she not see how disgusting that picture of greasy hair looks?!