Jenilynn,
Here's where it became glaringly apparent to me (and likely anyone who watched The Dis) that you fell out of Pete’s good graces. It was also a cringeworthy glimpse into how he would abuse his staff:
There was one episode of the DIS where Teresa joined Pete on the panel, but you were not there that day. During the show, Pete went off on Teresa in a truly ugly fashion about how much he hated how you would sign off "The Trip" podcast (which Teresa road shotgun on), which I believe was "Trip Out."
Anyway, seemingly out of nowhere, Pete started mocking you and seething to Teresa about your catchphrase. Teresa was clearly caught off guard and uncomfortable with the blindsided attack and could say nothing but “Why are you yelling at me? Tell her.”
Which Pete promised he would.
JL, I assume Teresa told you about this outburst and that you probably went back and watched that episode of The Dis:
Did you?
And what did you think and feel after watching your boss attempt to devalue you in front of your coworkers and his viewers?
Did you ever speak to him about this incident?
What role did that specific piece of cruelty play in your leaving?
It was abusive to both you and Teresa, but I imagine it was particularly hurtful for you to watch him demonstrate such vitriol for your passion project - and you personally.
I wouldn't say I fell out of Pete's good graces at that point. I think the situation you are referring to was just a symptom of an internal struggle that I suspect Pete had from the moment he hired me.
While I did basically come to Pete as a vulnerable single mom, I didn't come to Pete as an unknown. I already had somewhat of a following, occasionally I was recognized in places that he wasn't, and I had a broadcast television station in my back pocket. So while my personal situation placed me firmly under his thumb where he likes everyone, my quasi-professional situation was an affront to him. Additionally, from time to time, he seemed threatened by the way I looked. For the sake of brevity, I'm just going to bullet point some reasons why I think this. Together, they suggest Pete might have struggled with wanting to utilize my skills and also feared I could take attention away from him if I was given too much room. He seemed to do what he could to make sure I was never in a position to upstage him. I don't know Pete's actual mind, but this is what makes sense to me. And I think the "Pete experiences" of some who came after me support this theory because he may have also felt this way about them.
* From the beginning, I was told he was going to give me a makeover, specifically a Hillary Clinton makeover. He did talk about wanting to draw attention away from my looks and instead to my mind (which sounds honorable on the surface). The thing, though, is I'm me. I'm not Hillary Clinton, and there is nothing wrong with that. Also, of all the team members at the time, I was already most likely to speak my mind, so that wasn't really an issue. I think he was disguising what he was really after. It's subtle, but the implication here was that I needed his help. I think he wanted to establish that he was superior and that I was lucky to have him as my benefactor. Also, he probably would have loved to draw attention away from my looks because...
* When we did the 7 in 7, I learned that Pete had tiny regrets about hiring me even before I met any of the team. I was told he initially feared that Dustin would want to leave him for me. That made no sense to me because I thought Dustin was gay and that seemed like an odd development to suggest. In hindsight, it makes total sense that Pete would be paranoid that his hold on Dustin wouldn't last (although projecting that onto me was still odd because there was no basis for it).
* The entire time I worked there, Pete told me, in all seriousness, that he wanted me to gain 30 lbs.
* We have all heard how he was upset that I was in a documentary done by a director who didn't know he existed.
* When we started doing The Daily Fix, it was standard format. And that format was very different from the Tues show. It was a strict 5 min. It was scripted. We only reported headlines and the weather. It was in front of a green screen with a very specific framed headshot meant to give a news anchor feel. We were not allowed to veer from it because consistency feeds algorithms. But the guys told me that after a couple of weeks, Pete started looking at the view counts. The days that I hosted were consistently the highest. So suddenly, on Pete days, the rules no longer applied. He was doing it from his backyard. He was taking however long he wanted. He was wearing sunglasses, and his dog was now on screen. He was going off script and ranting about the texture of Disney toilet paper (I'm making that part up...about toilet paper...he definitely started ranting). The goalposts kept changing for him until he saw his numbers go above mine and could be happy again.
* There really are too many examples tied to The Trip, beginning with him withholding multiple graphic elements that Corey and Will created to give the show a higher production value. Those things were already made and ready to use, but some of those things never saw the light of day. His reasoning was that The Trip was not allowed to have those things until the Tues show had those things.
But to answer your specific questions about Pete mocking me behind my back on that particular episode:
* No, I don't think I watched it. Teresa gave me cliff notes. I only remember her letting me know I was now forbidden from using my sign-off, and I initially thought she was joking because that's a weird thing to be opinionated about.
* Since I'm pretty sure I didn't watch it, my thoughts and feelings would have been based on the information filtered through Teresa. Maybe she spared me a little this way. I remember being frustrated and annoyed that she had been sent to communicate my new restriction even though there wasn't an actual offense. I probably rolled my eyes. I don't remember having a stronger reaction than that. Also, I don't think this was the first hit I took. I probably already knew the drill. He had made an ass of himself on camera. The display was going to have to speak for itself. Intelligent people would pick up that it was a commentary on him and not really on me. I had to be ok with that, so, ultimately, I was.
* Pete and I did have to eventually speak about it with one another because the viewers put up a fuss. There was a small campaign to bring back my sign-off. Eventually, he told me I could start using it again. But if you are wondering if we ever had a grown-up discussion or if I got an apology...I don't recall either of those things happening. Teresa might remember it better since she was the deer caught in this particular set of headlights.
* That display of cruelty did not play any role at all in my parting with The Dis. For me, it didn't have much of an impact. In fact, I didn't even remember that this happened until I read your post. Perhaps that helps you understand the level of crap the team put up with from Pete.
Anyway, since I didn't "trip out" of good graces with Pete, what was that point? I suppose it's a question for him. But I would guess that I fell out of his good graces much later, like around New Year's of 2016. He started genuinely sabotaging The Trip by changing the perimeters and setting us up for failure that year. It led to a confrontation in which he came for me and verbally attacked me in front of the team after a show. He was so vicious that I think I partially blacked out due to my rage. I genuinely remember none of the words that came out of his mouth. I can only remember him purposefully picking a fight with me, unnecessarily escalating it by antagonizing me, and then desperately trying to bait me so that screaming at me would be justified. I just stared him down in a blind rage and refused to be intimidated. I was absolutely seething and didn't cower that day. It wasn't the result he wanted. He did end up apologizing to me days later, but I think that is because he didn't know what else to do when I didn't bend. And I am guessing that event changed the way he saw me. Whether he consciously realized it or not, he probably shifted me into the "we can do without this" category. Lol.
