The Depression Thread

[butterfliesandhurricanes]

Many that will post on here will be mistaking sadness with depression, so before stating you have ‘depression’, go through the correct channels of diagnosis, do your research, and self reflect, because the whole flippant culture of ‘I feel depressed’ and ‘I have anxiety and depression’ is becoming monotonous.

Absolutely no need for this post at all. Don’t invalidate people on this thread. This is a place where we don’t judge and we let people express how they feel. What was even the point in this comment ? What made you post it? It seems like you’re angry at the system and taking it out on people here. Not cool. I’m actually shocked at how cold this post is.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Many that will post on here will be mistaking sadness with depression, so before stating you have ‘depression’, go through the correct channels of diagnosis, do your research, and self reflect, because the whole flippant culture of ‘I feel depressed’ and ‘I have anxiety and depression’ is becoming monotonous.

Am I the only one who thinks this comments is quite tone-deaf? Assuming most people here are self-diagnosed is quite offensive and this is a safe and supportive space for everyone anyway.

 

[justheretoread99]

Am I the only one who thinks this comments is quite tone-deaf? Assuming most people here are self-diagnosed is quite offensive and this is a safe and supportive space for everyone anyway.

It’s from a new account and one of their posts on here is now: “The requested post could not be found.”

I hate to throw the word “troll” about but… probably just a troll wanting a reaction. (Im calm now I’ve given them my reaction)

Hope everyone is doing okay
Please no one ever feel invalidated or that you’re wasting anyone’s time. Especially GP’s and mental health services. I know some can be crap (really crap), but we all deserve help and support when we need it. No matter how small others may see it.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

To all the lovely people on this thread

 

[Lilu22]

I don’t know if this is the place for this so we’ll see but I’m very guarded, keep my walls up and don’t really let people in. However a few days ago, I broke down to my closest friend. Explained that I’ve been really struggling mentally and their response was “you got through it last time, just do that again,”

Is it wrong for me to feel annoyed/bad by their response? Am i making a mountain out of a mole hill?

 

[Warpaint]

I don’t know if this is the place for this so we’ll see but I’m very guarded, keep my walls up and don’t really let people in. However a few days ago, I broke down to my closest friend. Explained that I’ve been really struggling mentally and their response was “you got through it last time, just do that again,”

Is it wrong for me to feel annoyed/bad by their response? Am i making a mountain out of a mole hill?

Sometimes even the closest people to you don't know how to respond in those types of situations. It's good to share with close friends and family but they're not mental health professionals. They can support you all the way but I think a lot of the time they just simply don't know how to react.

 

[justheretoread99]

Is it wrong for me to feel annoyed/bad by their response? Am i making a mountain out of a mole hill?

Absolutely not! I was on the phone to my best friend the other week, just telling her how down and numb I was feeling. I’d not been to work, not left my pitch black room. And her response was “Ohh but it could be so much worse”. & I love her to pieces and I know she was meaning well and trying to be encouraging but it upset me and made me feel worse.

I think when people haven’t experienced the same feelings that you have, it’s hard for them to relate and they don’t really understand and they can say things that sound insensitive.

Like my friend, I’m sure your friend was trying to be supportive as best they could. Either try and let go of what they said (easier said then done I know) or have another chat with them

99% of people on here will understand too, so if you’re really struggling please vent/chat on here x

 

[mindlessness]

I'm another one who avoids things when the anxiety is bad. Which them leads to feelings of hopelessness etc etc. The cyclical nature of things! bah.

Add me to the others pointing out that no-one needs to justify their mental health struggles on these threads.

@Lilu22 I think it's really great you felt comfortable talking to someone. Even if they didn't give you the response you wanted/needed. (and the slightly flippant response would have upset me too!)

Mind (the mental health charity) has some great guidance on their website for people struggling about what to do (if you did want to seek support etc)

How to seek help for a mental health problem

When seeking help for your mental health, it can be hard to know how to start or where to go. We give an introduction on where you can turn for help.

www.mind.org.uk

 

[barmcake]

Yes. Really trivial stuff too.

I avoid replying to certain emails at work because I just know the tone that their going to reply with. So I sit with loads of unread and flagged emails in my inbox which then makes me more anxious.

I avoid the work kitchen at certain times because I know people will be in there and I can’t bare the awkward small talk. Even if I’m really thirsty or need the toilet it’s as if I’m frozen and glued to my office chair.

I avoid putting petrol in my car. I don’t know why it just makes me panic. I’ve been driving almost 10 years and I still can’t use the pumps without them clicking and nothing comes out. So I end up free-wheeling until my cars beeping at my with the warning “low fuel sign” and I have to fill up.

I sell a lot of clothes on depop/eBay and for some reason going to the post office makes me anxious. I leave it a few days and then panic and end up sending everything first class so I don’t get bad reviews.

Also avoid going to the manned checkouts in supermarkets. Even if they’re empty I’d rather stand in a small queue and wait for a self-service check out.

You're not alone. I no longer use a telephone and don't answer my door. I avoid all humans in case I have to make small talk. Sounds weird, but I'm happier talking to the cats.

Absolutely not! I was on the phone to my best friend the other week, just telling her how down and numb I was feeling. I’d not been to work, not left my pitch black room. And her response was “Ohh but it could be so much worse”. & I love her to pieces and I know she was meaning well and trying to be encouraging but it upset me and made me feel worse.

I think when people haven’t experienced the same feelings that you have, it’s hard for them to relate and they don’t really understand and they can say things that sound insensitive.

Like my friend, I’m sure your friend was trying to be supportive as best they could. Either try and let go of what they said (easier said then done I know) or have another chat with them

99% of people on here will understand too, so if you’re really struggling please vent/chat on here x

Well, that response is about as usefull as a chocolate fire grate - don't confide in her again. Each person's pain is their own and some people can only do 'light and fluffy' topics.

 

[xx3221]

@Lilu22 and @justheretoread99

Please don't be disheartened by what your friends have said. I am a suffer in silence kind of person and I remember once opening up to one of my closest friends, and she didn't really have much to say. Some people just don't know how to react, especially if they've never felt that low. It is very basic empathy to try to make a friend feel better when they are feeling so low, but I think it's important to understand, some people just don't know what to say or how to help somebody in that state of mind (if that makes sense). I would never put any of my mental health issues on any of my friends although they're all very aware of them, I only really speak to my partner about it who is super supportive, and that's not really that often either.

I often read this thread so I just want to say I'm sending you all lots of love and light, I know it may not feel like things will get better but they always do. Isn't it awful that something as simple as existing feels like such a battle for all of us?

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

@Lilu22 She probably doesn’t know to react. Next time maybe tell her you would appreciate just words of support and not unsolicited advice. I guess it’s quite hard to understand what’s going on if you’ve never had MH issues yourself.

Completely unrelated, but does anyone get itchy skin, especially at night? My skin is fine and healthy, no eczema or other skin diseases, but I have difficulty falling asleep at night because it itches so bad. I’ve found that moisturising it really well before bed helps, but last night I had itchy toes, you don’t really moisturise your toes, do you? I’ve read itching is closely associated with depression and anxiety, surprising how depression can mess you up in some many ways really.

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

@Lilu22 She probably doesn’t know to react. Next time maybe tell her you would appreciate just words of support and not unsolicited advice. I guess it’s quite hard to understand what’s going on if you’ve never had MH issues yourself.

Completely unrelated, but does anyone get itchy skin, especially at night? My skin is fine and healthy, no eczema or other skin diseases, but I have difficulty falling asleep at night because it itches so bad. I’ve found that moisturising it really well before bed helps, but last night I had itchy toes, you don’t really moisturise your toes, do you? I’ve read itching is closely associated with depression and anxiety, surprising how depression can mess you up in some many ways really.

Can it be a circulation issue? Restless Legs Syndrome? Or maybe the detergent used on the sheets?

 

[justheretoread99]

Completely unrelated, but does anyone get itchy skin, especially at night? My skin is fine and healthy, no eczema or other skin diseases, but I have difficulty falling asleep at night because it itches so bad. I’ve found that moisturising it really well before bed helps, but last night I had itchy toes, you don’t really moisturise your toes, do you? I’ve read itching is closely associated with depression and anxiety, surprising how depression can mess you up in some many ways really.

The tops of my legs are a mess because they itch so much and I sit scratching them for hours. No allergies. No skin conditions. No changes to washing powder etc.
Usually feel more itchy when I’m super stressed out.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Can it be a circulation issue? Restless Legs Syndrome? Or maybe the detergent used on the sheets?

Definitely nothing to do with detergents as I’ve been using the same ones for ages, and I’m not sure about circulation but I’ve thought about RLS myself, thanks! Will read on it more x

The tops of my legs are a mess because they itch so much and I sit scratching them for hours. No allergies. No skin conditions. No changes to washing powder etc.
Usually feel more itchy when I’m super stressed out.

Yes, from what I’ve read online stress/anxiety and itching go hand in hand (unfortunately). Crazy because they seem to be completely unrelated!

 

[altgirl]

Does anyone else get stuck in a rut that because you can’t achieve your goals you see yourself as more of a failure? You end up feeling even worse about yourself and you’re left thinking what’s the point?

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Does anyone else get stuck in a rut that because you can’t achieve your goals you see yourself as more of a failure? You end up feeling even worse about yourself and you’re left thinking what’s the point?

I know what it feels like, unfortunately. What helps me is telling myself these are just intrusive thoughts and that everyone progresses at their own pace. Success is relative anyway, and what matters most is being happy and content with yourself and your life, it doesn’t matter whether you are a stay at home mother or a Nobel laureate. I hope you are okay lovely

 

[Pollyanna263]

I’ve dipped in and out here, reading on and off over the past week or two, but decided to post before I talk myself out of it again.

I’m just coming out of a real low, but I don’t feel like I can actually properly get myself out of it if that makes sense. Even before this dip I was basically on autopilot, functioning rather than anything more, but it feels impossible to even get back to that.

I just need a break from everything. To switch off entirely, not be needed, not be responsible for anyone or thing (I have 2 children, and a dog) and over the last few weeks I’ve found myself thinking I want to fall asleep and just never ever wake up again.

No need for any replies, and I’m sorry to just jump straight in like this. It’s a relief to have a space like this where people understand x

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

and over the last few weeks I’ve found myself thinking I want to fall asleep and just never ever wake up again.

I’ve felt like this many times, and even though now you might think it will never get better, it will. Trust me, as unbelievable as it sounds, it will. Sometimes you just need to lie low, give yourself a break and wait until it passes. Sending you so much love

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

I am not really expecting any replies but I am in such a horrible place right now and just need to write it down. This morning my sister, who I generally get on well with but who is very nosey (I’m 99% sure she reads on here because she is always looking at my screen or search history…if so, hey Alex, thanks for everything), told my parents about my experience with depression and antidepressants. She was supposed to keep it secret, my parents are quite old-fashioned, don’t believe in depression, ‘hearing about your problems makes us feel bad’ kind of people and I preferred not to tell them. There was an ugly scene and now I’m locked in the bathroom crying and late for everything. I just cannot believe the people who are supposed to be your support system can be so cruel to you, so many strangers on the Internet are much kinder and more understanding than they are. I don’t even know what to do or if I should do anything at all, I just can’t keep it to myself anymore.

 

[mindlessness]

Sending lots of love and a tattle hug to you @Raymond Luxury-Yacht