The Depression Thread

[mindlessness]

Does anyone have thoughts on how to tell what’s anxiety or depression? I think I might have both, although the one thing I never feel is numb or empty (sometimes wish I did). I’d say I spend a lot of time feeling painfully sad about the past and present or fearful for the future. I know I need to get help, I just worry that my GP will just give me the most basic standard SSRI prescription even if that’s not what I need. Not that I’m a doctor, and they know best, but you know what I mean.

I think it’s important to look in to both medication and therapy - at least, the combination has been most effective for me! The medication has helped me actually get something out of therapy, which can be hard work. Could you ask them about therapy options at the appointment? There are also some decent CBT and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy books out now if you wanted to ‘self-study’.

I definitely find there’s some overlap with depression and anxiety, and one often feeds into the other or one will be worse than the other. Like currently my anxiety is a bigger issue and the depression is mild.

 

[rainbowlemon]

God, I watched these videos you posted earlier and cried a good deal, but it was the good kind of crying. I needed it. I will check out the forum too, I’m a bit shy to try new things but it looks lovely.

Thank you so much. Honestly, I don’t even know how to express how thankful I am. You are so kind and supportive and have already done more for me than 99% of those who surround me. Knowing there are still people who care about complete Internet strangers restores my faith in humanity.

No thanks needed. I might not always reply straight away but I always do in the end. I've had a lot of support too from other's when I've been incredibly low.

I've also bought that book for a friend and a cousin. I also love "all the places you will go". You need to keep hearing it again and again.

How are you feeling?

 

[Maid22]

How do you find a counsellor in your area best suited for your needs?
I've just looked, tis a minefield!

 

[mindlessness]

How do you find a counsellor in your area best suited for your needs?
I've just looked, tis a minefield!

It really is! Often if they have websites they will talk about what their specialties are. I've always found mine through my GP and a referral. My GP had sent other patients to therapist or someone else at the same practice. You can also change therapists if you just don't click with someone too. Unfortunately, this is made harder if you have financial constraints and there aren't many affordable therapists, or if it's via the NHS and there are waitlists etc (insert here a long rant about the lack of mental health services and funding!).

Mind has a great website with guidance for seeking help in the UK: https://www.mind.org.uk/information...p-for-a-mental-health-problem/where-to-start/
and also on finding a therapist specifically, with suggestions of questions to ask etc: https://www.mind.org.uk/information...rapy-and-counselling/how-to-find-a-therapist/

Good luck on your search!

 

[Maid22]

It really is! Often if they have websites they will talk about what their specialties are. I've always found mine through my GP and a referral. My GP had sent other patients to therapist or someone else at the same practice. You can also change therapists if you just don't click with someone too. Unfortunately, this is made harder if you have financial constraints and there aren't many affordable therapists, or if it's via the NHS and there are waitlists etc (insert here a long rant about the lack of mental health services and funding!).

Mind has a great website with guidance for seeking help in the UK: https://www.mind.org.uk/information...p-for-a-mental-health-problem/where-to-start/
and also on finding a therapist specifically, with suggestions of questions to ask etc: https://www.mind.org.uk/information...rapy-and-counselling/how-to-find-a-therapist/

Good luck on your search!

I will check out your links, appreciate your help x

 

[Maid22]

I've hit a real low tonight, insomnia doesn't help, really just fed up and lonely I suppose? Do miss having someone to talk to, but then again, after being treated like crap, I'd find it hard to trust anyone again, life can be a struggle.

 

[whoareyouu]

I've hit a real low tonight, insomnia doesn't help, really just fed up and lonely I suppose? Do miss having someone to talk to, but then again, after being treated like crap, I'd find it hard to trust anyone again, life can be a struggle.

snap. I feel lonely and I have a partner. A partner that has just told me he’s pulling out of the house purchase that’s solely in my name so that’s always nice.

I’ve felt depressed since my brother died 15 years ago and I honestly feel that with each passing year it gets worse. Over the last year or so I’ve had thoughts of harming myself. I know the NHS is overwhelmed but I feel as though there’s no support out there for people.

it just all feels hopeless but I know deep down that it isn’t.

 

[mindlessness]

snap. I feel lonely and I have a partner. A partner that has just told me he’s pulling out of the house purchase that’s solely in my name so that’s always nice.

I’ve felt depressed since my brother died 15 years ago and I honestly feel that with each passing year it gets worse. Over the last year or so I’ve had thoughts of harming myself. I know the NHS is overwhelmed but I feel as though there’s no support out there for people.

it just all feels hopeless but I know deep down that it isn’t.

It definitely isn't hopeless. Even when it feels like it is. I'm so sorry about your brother.

Mind has some specialised guidance/advice for people struggling with grief, including links to some charities that provide in person and telephone support for people who have experienced a bereavement: https://www.mind.org.uk/information...d-services/bereavement/support-and-self-care/

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

No thanks needed. I might not always reply straight away but I always do in the end. I've had a lot of support too from other's when I've been incredibly low.

I've also bought that book for a friend and a cousin. I also love "all the places you will go". You need to keep hearing it again and again.

How are you feeling?

I’m better, thanks for asking Better on the whole, though it deffo alternates between being okay and just wanting a moving car to hit me. Now I’m quite fine, funnily enough, lower dose of Prozac has made me feel better. How are you?

I've hit a real low tonight, insomnia doesn't help, really just fed up and lonely I suppose? Do miss having someone to talk to, but then again, after being treated like crap, I'd find it hard to trust anyone again, life can be a struggle.

I’m always here if you want to talk We all feel lonely sometimes, unfortunately it’s what life is like. How are you today?

snap. I feel lonely and I have a partner. A partner that has just told me he’s pulling out of the house purchase that’s solely in my name so that’s always nice.

I’ve felt depressed since my brother died 15 years ago and I honestly feel that with each passing year it gets worse. Over the last year or so I’ve had thoughts of harming myself. I know the NHS is overwhelmed but I feel as though there’s no support out there for people.

it just all feels hopeless but I know deep down that it isn’t.

I know how you feel! I’m very sorry about your brother, I lost my BIL last year and it’s still raw as hell. You are right, it is not hopeless no matter how it feels like. You will get through this and we are all here for you


Does anybody else keep on purposefully pulling their triggers? I know it does not make sense but it’s almost satisfying in some odd way, like picking scabs. My trigger is a certain person who (through no fault of her own, I must admit) fucked me up pretty badly. Yet I often feel the urge to look her up, check her social media, etc. Anybody does the same?

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Does anybody else keep on purposefully pulling their triggers? I know it does not make sense but it’s almost satisfying in some odd way, like picking scabs. My trigger is a certain person who (through no fault of her own, I must admit) fucked me up pretty badly. Yet I often feel the urge to look her up, check her social media, etc. Anybody does the same?

Yes, I’m struggling with that at the moment. It really sucks and I’m so sorry it’s happening to you too. It’s hard when you know what you’re doing, but it’s kind of overpowering. Anyone who doesn’t understand would just say, “don’t look her up then”, but it’s not that simple when it’s connected to a mental illness.

I think because I’m pretty depressed at the moment (and have just had a rough week of PMT), certain vulnerabilities come back from something I used to struggle with.

I wish I could offer some advice @Raymond Luxury-Yacht , I‘m sending solidarity though. I’m going to wash my hair, lose myself in a movie and see if that will help. Take care of yourself lovely, you deserve it. That goes for everyone here too x

 

[Kittypops]

Triggers? Absolutely!
It's a well-trodden path to go down where you know all the twists and turns and exactly what's going to happen. It's tit, isn't it?

 

[rainbowlemon]

I’m better, thanks for asking Better on the whole, though it deffo alternates between being okay and just wanting a moving car to hit me. Now I’m quite fine, funnily enough, lower dose of Prozac has made me feel better. How are you?

I’m always here if you want to talk We all feel lonely sometimes, unfortunately it’s what life is like. How are you today?

I know how you feel! I’m very sorry about your brother, I lost my BIL last year and it’s still raw as hell. You are right, it is not hopeless no matter how it feels like. You will get through this and we are all here for you


Does anybody else keep on purposefully pulling their triggers? I know it does not make sense but it’s almost satisfying in some odd way, like picking scabs. My trigger is a certain person who (through no fault of her own, I must admit) fucked me up pretty badly. Yet I often feel the urge to look her up, check her social media, etc. Anybody does the same?

It can be a hard habit to break but If you're just looking at her social media you're not doing any harm. You'll stop when you stop. Are you still in contact with this person?

 

[no-no]

Does anybody else keep on purposefully pulling their triggers? I know it does not make sense but it’s almost satisfying in some odd way, like picking scabs. My trigger is a certain person who (through no fault of her own, I must admit) fucked me up pretty badly. Yet I often feel the urge to look her up, check her social media, etc. Anybody does the same?

I’m also doing this at the moment and trying to ride it out. I’ll stop soon, but keep looking at my ex and his new ‘target’. Initially I was doing it out of safety because he was stalking me but now he’s gone official (very fast, typical narc) it’s like watching the calm before the storm. I know it’s unhealthy but not something I intend to do long-term. He was aiming for one colleague who got with another colleague and is now engaged, so I expect this one will be pregnant soon to up the ante.

Heard the young neighbours arguing before. They’re always at it. So many arguments remind me of ones I’ve had. It all just puts me off relationships. I don’t know whether I would want to trust again. I fully understand those couples who don’t live together now. It does get lonely on your own when you don’t have friends, but it would be nice to go out for dinner/on trips with someone.

I think I’m going to look into volunteering soon. I’ve put it off because I have so much stuff I want to learn but I’m procrastinating with that so might as well. Found a therapist who charges £45 which is the cheapest I’ve found, but I really need to clear some debts.

 

[Jadejones9596]

A word of advice... I've just found the cutest little app called Finch, you get a little animal friend to look after by doing things for your wellbeing. There's quizzes and journalling and goal setting. I've had it a couple of days and I'm really enjoying it

 

[WordsFromReuben]

Just wanted to share something I found recently that I keep coming back to, it made me think about my depression and gave me a bit of strength. As they say, it’s always darkest before the dawn.

it’s a poem from Bojack Horseman called The View From Halfway Down.

Spoiler: TW references SH

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

This is a weird one (or maybe my mental health is just tricking me into thinking that) - but does anyone else struggle with memories of not necessarily traumatic times in the past, but just memories of tit periods generally?

I don’t say PTSD lightly at all - I promise - and it’s not the right term but that’s the closest I can think of. It’s like I get really triggered whenever I remember fairly innocuous things like e.g. a bad date or how I felt at someone’s baby shower or a time when I just wasn’t happy.

As another example, I live in London and I feel dreadful when I remember times I’ve been on the tube on my own, unhappy on the way back from central after a dinner with friends, or picture myself waiting around to meet a Bumble date that turned out tit. It really triggers me hard and I fear that’s not normal. I just wondered if I’m the only one!

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

I’m very busy at the moment so I will probably reply a bit later but I just wanted to say that I’ve been reading all the replies and I’m sending tons of love to you all

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

Triggers? Absolutely!
It's a well-trodden path to go down where you know all the twists and turns and exactly what's going to happen. It's tit, isn't it?

Yes to this and to @Raymond Luxury-Yacht. I think something to do with confirmation bias. Which I believe means our brains would rather we were unhappy (but predicatably so) than happy and “wrong” about something, if that makes sense. Has anyone ever discussed that with a therapist? For me it is one of my very biggest stumbling blocks and I seem not to be able to overcome it. I hate it when people say “it’s like you want to be unhappy” but I guess there is something to it?

 

[whatktdid]

Feeling very numb and weepy today, I just had my 2nd session of CBT and tbh so far it's just left me dwelling in negative emotions rather than any better. I know it's early and I just need to trust it but so far I've come out of it frustrated with myself because I've carefully engineered a positive outward image over the years & I'm finding it hard to honestly talk about just how negatively I view myself & how negative my outlook is. Like in answer to 'how are you' I went for 'not bad thanks' and now only in writing this out can I admit that I was very low this week, cried for hours yesterday & was holding back tears throughout the session. :/ I wish she could just read my mind and I could feel understood that way

 

[Bluepop]

Feeling very numb and weepy today, I just had my 2nd session of CBT and tbh so far it's just left me dwelling in negative emotions rather than any better. I know it's early and I just need to trust it but so far I've come out of it frustrated with myself because I've carefully engineered a positive outward image over the years & I'm finding it hard to honestly talk about just how negatively I view myself & how negative my outlook is. Like in answer to 'how are you' I went for 'not bad thanks' and now only in writing this out can I admit that I was very low this week, cried for hours yesterday & was holding back tears throughout the session. :/ I wish she could just read my mind and I could feel understood that way

It sounds like you’re going through a lot now and it’s really hard to admit when you’re not actually okay especially when you’re someone who puts on a brave face. The fact that you’re going to CBT is a huge step and you should be proud of yourself. Having these feelings doesn’t make you weak and it’s not something to be ashamed of I can totally relate to everything you’ve said, you will have a breakthrough when you’re ready don’t give up.