The Depression Thread

[Chrisxo]

I could use someone to talk to I’m struggling a lot

 

[Penguin86]

I’m so sorry CBT didn’t work for you, I’ve not found it helpful either.
I used to get pretty bad anxiety and always found this technique helpful. You can change it around if there’s a way that works better for you.
Another thing that helped is I would pick a colour and count how many things I could see in that colour. Or I would just focus on the feeling of my feet on the ground. I really hope there‘s something that helps you, I know it’s different for everyone though.

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Thank you I will try this. I need to find something because I cant cope

 

[kachoochoo]

oh @kachoochoo I’m so so sorry. What you’re going through is too much for anyone to be able to cope with. When you’re struggling mentally everything‘s hard, I can’t even imagine how overwhelming it must be to feel that you need to support someone else emotionally just now.
I know it’s easier said than done, but I hope you can go easy on yourself today, and that your partner understands that you’re unwell, and I guess you’re grieving too. I wish I could say something more helpful or practical, but I just want you to know you’re not venting into the void, and that people here are wishing you well x

just needed to say thank you for your kind words. you are a sweetheart. xx

we've made up and are going easy on each other

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

How do you guys get yourself out of a slump? I just haven’t been able to find any motivation the last few days. I’ve been managing to cook dinner, that’s about it.

I find this site helpful when I am really low and need hand-holding on getting the basics taken care of: https://youfeellikeshit.com/ it’s quite simple but often it snaps me out of my low mood enough to then go and do something else afterwards.

Well done for cooking dinner - seriously! I am so lazy, cooking is always the first thing I start slacking on when I feel in a slump.

ETA Don’t be put off by the website name! I promise it’s a nice site!

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Write a list of things that give you pleasure, anything from setting a playlist and going for a walk or a long drive, to the getting your nails done or walking around the park and seeing what birds or flowers you can spot. It’s not a cure, but it sure makes you grateful to be alive for an hour!

Fantastic advice I totally second this. Do you have a hobby? I’ve taken up photography and while I’m by no means good, I enjoy taking pictures of mundane things and seeing myself improve. It can be very satisfying to slow down and just cherish the little things like a nice cup of tea, a cute dog on the street, a good book or a bubble bath.

 

[Professor Farnsworth]

Hi! I’m happy to take medication, in fact that’s kind of what I assumed my GP would offer to be honest (maybe alongside some sort of therapy and/or other coping techniques). It was my GP who said they weren’t necessary and wouldn’t make a difference to me, so just going by his judgement really, although he only spoke to me for about five minutes . Maybe my wording wasn’t the best on my original post! I suppose what I mean is I wouldn’t want to take anything that they didn’t think would work or help. I’d absolutely be willing to try medication if my GP (or whatever professional) thought it would help/was necessary!

My GP told me they wouldn’t help and I insisted on being given them as I know they do (for me). I spoke to my psychology nurse and she talked me through all the options before doing my own research on what I want to try. My GP was very receptive to me taking them after that as he’d had a professional confirm it. It’s important to note mine were for depression, anxiety and PTSD. I agree it depends on the circumstances and don’t help everyone, but I had struggled for so many years I was at the end of my rope. I am also back with the psychotherapist after a year of trying to cope alone. I can’t talk to anyone about it because they judge me enough as it is.

 

[rubbish]

I feel it comes in waves -- last week I was doing really well and then BAM, I feel like I'm drowning. I realized it's my period coming on. It's unbearable at times being a woman, it's juggling real-life oppression, hormonal roller coasters, and my own brain chemistry. I really don't know if I'll ever manage more than 4 days in a row feeling balanced.

I really loved the episode of Modern Love on being bipolar and dating: this especially resonated with me.

Sending you all love and strength, and always know you can PM if you wish.

 

[mindlessness]

I spoke to a therapist through work but she basically just told me he was an idiot and that was that. She never asked me what he done it was just how I can cope with depression and stress to stop getting upset and when I tried to talk about it she’d move the conversation on. It was relatively helpful learning how to cope a little better when the depression flares up, but I would have preferred talking about what went on to get it off of my chest.

Oh that's a shame. I think it might be worth trying to find another therapist . Especially if you don't feel like you've got it off your chest yet. Sounds like your previous therapist was more CBT focused maybe, which is super helpful in terms of strategies moving forward. But yes, sometimes you just want to talk in a safe environment without judgement

 

[altgirl]

How do people cope with unsupportive bosses at work?
I confided in mine a few years ago when I was in a very dark place and was signed off. I’ve recently gone back there and he’s just told me to toughen up, go and get drunk and get over it. I also found out another manager called me dramatic for being upset. I’m sorry I know this is so trivial but I’m really struggling so everything seems so much worse.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Sending you all of them

Thank you so much lovely, it means a lot to me

 

[Welshgal]

Hi, ive just started sertraline this week for depression and anxiety.
Ive never been medicated before despite being depressed since I was a kid. My anxiety got really bad about 8 years ago and I had CBT. I had a breakdown about 4 years ago and had counselling.
Although I have learnt to cope with things not going right through my therapies, I am at a stage of complete emotional burnout. I'm not a low as I was during my breakdown but my complete disinterest in doing anything, and the state of my house made me ask for help.

I have always seen medication as a bad thing, like I was giving up. Im just so tired of fighting with my emotions every day though.

Anyway I have a really dry mouth atm which is on the side effects

Hi,
sorry to hear you are at such a low point

Please don’t be so harsh on yourself. You have made the right decision for yourself, so please don’t feel like you are giving up. If anything asking for help shows how brave you are, and I’m very proud of you for being so strong!
I’ll keep my fingers crossed that the medication will help you feel better very soon xx

 

[Itsmerahrah]

How do people cope with unsupportive bosses at work?
I confided in mine a few years ago when I was in a very dark place and was signed off. I’ve recently gone back there and he’s just told me to toughen up, go and get drunk and get over it. I also found out another manager called me dramatic for being upset. I’m sorry I know this is so trivial but I’m really struggling so everything seems so much worse.

this is NOT OK…and I would have them by the balls for that !
I worked for a plc and was treated horrendous over my anxiety & depression. My husband actually came into work at one point as I couldn’t cope when they spoke to me. I took everything they said as personsal when maybe they weren’t being.

anyway… how about you ask for a meeting & tell them how they’ve made you feel. Ask for a support in the room.
When I did this my boss was so sorry … he also got into trouble higher up for his work standards !
Good luck

 

[Maid22]

Am sorry you lost a beloved pet too, it's really hard, I do have another dog, which I'm glad I have, but I've never been so upset (that includes all my pets and my only one close family member) over my little boy, I'd give everything to have him back.
Still can't sleep, got a few decisions to make tomorrow, shall go listen to some pink Floyd!! Thanks for the chat @Sideboard Bob, take care x

 

[lemonl189]

Thankyou I’m definitely going to try and

Hi my lovelies,

I hope you are all doing alright. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but I struggle a lot with low mood and suicidal thoughts. I never actively tried to harm myself but every so often these thoughts crop up in my mind that no one likes me and I would be better off dead.
I had CBT that finished a month or so ago, because I was dealing with some painful family issues that made the suicidal thoughts more frequent. I found that really helpful in terms of helping myself cope with that one specific issue and reducing the frequency of the thoughts but I completely forgot how bad my mental state was even before that issue.
I'm really self critical and pick apart my appearance, and compare myself constantly to other people. I often feel like an awful person because I get really jealous of other people who seem to be living their best lives, and I get really annoyed easily and snappy towards the people I love.
I often just feel really low and down, and I have things that I do to distract myself (hobbies) but they feel like putting a plaster over a gaping wound. I try to stay upbeat by thinking about the future and how that will be easier but sometimes everything about the future seems so confusing and too much effort to deal with. I'm on the waiting list for counselling which I've had before and was semi-helpful, but I keep wondering what I'll do if it doesn't work. I know people who've been on anti-depressants and it's helped them but I just worry about side-effects, if they'll actually work, and how I don't want to be dependent on them (i think the last part is just challenging negative stereotypes about them that my parents have said).
So sorry this was so long- it helps to vent.

I completely understand where you are coming from on the appearance part and worrying about the future. For me when I get down about my appearance it’s because of what people (bullies) have said to me in the past I feel like I need to accept this and understand it was years ago when they said it and I am a lot better than their nasty comments. You are not an awful person for being jealous of others life it’s natural to want better especially if your having a really hard time you just automatically want the happiness others have this is normal but you have to think you don’t know what’s going on personally for example people only post on Instagram the best bits of their life sometimes you have to fake it until you make it keep going and thinking positive it can only get better from here. I agree with being snappy to the people you love for me this is because I am unhappy and unsatisfied I seem to take it out on others then feeling really guilty after for me I explain why I did that and say sorry it’s hard but after explaining they seem to understand. As for the future try to stay positive you are the creator of your own life and destiny I struggle with this a lot as I think it’s hard to know what you want then confusing thoughts happen but you just have to live in the present knowing that whatever we do now will help us for the future just know people have different paths and timings in life what people are achieving now you could achieve in 10 years or vice versa. You are not alone.

 

[Penguin86]

This is probably a gross question but doesn't anyone else here who suffers from depression/anxiety find that sometimes stress makes them have diarrhoea

 

[Sideboard Bob]

honestly, I feel you, SideyB. in theory, I do love it but summer's been too much for me for many years. it used to be feeling pressure to properly *enjoy* it when I just couldn't and then last year was too stressful to enjoy and I'm figuring this year's going to be the same

I’m so sorry you feel the same @kachoochoo I’m glad someone understands though, it’s such an isolating feeling.

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

Hi! New here, I have a wonderful elderly relative who is physically very fit but suffers from depression, but I have noticed they are going back to bed soon after they wake up (I go to give them breakfast and make sure they take their tablets now). Can any of you give me any advice on how to encourage them not to go back to bed, I suggest the radio or reading a book, but I feel out of my depth in what I can suggest/what may help. They lost their partner 7 years ago and know they are drinking alcohol more, and earlier in the day. I feel so helpless and they are so amazing I hate seeing them like this.

Are you able to arrange some kind of companionship, if you aren’t able? I’m thinking perhaps a daily walk with a friend or carer, even if a short stroll to get fresh air and have a change of scenery. Daylight at this time of year especially may help at least delay the desire to go back to bed. The use of alcohol is worrying too. It sounds like they are struggling, and you are so kind to care the way you do.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Hi all, how are we today?

Has anyone experienced SSRI meds side effects after lowering your dose? I was initially put on 20mg and has nausea, early rises and anxiety as side effects. They eventually disappeared, I then went on 40mg and had no trouble with it. Now I’m on 20mg again and feel like all the anxiety is now in my stomach! I wake up up sick in the mornings, can only eat sour foods, have no appetite for anything else yet I still experience hunger, just can’t face the thought of eating.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

i hope it’s okay to vent here - i’ve been hugely struggling with my ocd/anxiety over the past month. it started getting pretty bad over lockdown but more recently i’ve become obsessed with what my old age is going to be like and convinced myself that any number of illnesses/elderly abuse etc is going to happen to me. it’s looking increasingly likely that i will be an alone old person (don’t want kids, cannot keep a partner) and my mind will not let me move past that thought.

i’ve always had a massive fear of being “old” which is ridiculous because i’m 36 but i’m finding myself walking around my house (which is full of things i love) wondering what’s going to happen to all of these things when i die, or doing the exact same in my parents’ house.

i’m normally fairly good at dealing with the intrusive/obsessive thoughts side of my ocd but we had two big deaths in my family this year combined with a break-up for me and i’m getting so angry at myself. urgh.

i hope all of you in this thread are doing okay

Hey you, I hope it is ok for me to respond here (as we are also chatting in another thread).

I can identify with your thoughts.
I also became aware of my own mortality - a few acquaintances died over the last couple of years, young women dying of cancer.

It is probably a good thing to be aware of, as it also puts things into perspective - is it really worth me being upset because of the noisy neighbours?
etc

But at the same time it is terrifying. Everything is so fleeting and life will become more and more difficult the older we get.

What stories are you telling yourself - "cannot keep a partner": where does this come from? Why do you think is it your "fault" that your relationships ended?
Meeting the right person and being compatible with the person we fall in love with is not something we can control.
And why are you angry at yourself? Do you feel you did something wrong? What?

How does your OCD show up? I understand the anxiety in light of the recent events in your life and in the world, but don't understand the OCD side of things. Do you feel like you would like to control your future?

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

How do you guys deal with hopelessness?


I've spent a lot of today crying and searching on youtube. I feel like I've really sunk and I'm lower then I've been by far. My last session with my therapist was on friday and I needed him to give me hope, something to hold on to but he actually came out with my situation was hopeless and gave me a football analogy of it working out 25 years down the line.

I know how it feels lovely, I’ve been there so many times and my best tip is to wait. I am sorry it’s so corny and trivial, but it’s the only technique that works for me. Just wait and see what happens, even if the prospects seem bleak. There are a lot of things you can’t change and have no influence on, but you can modify the way you look at them. It’s hard to give advice not knowing what the situation is, but if you are interested I can share some personal stories. Sometimes you just have to hit an all-time low in order to go up.

Please hang in there, I’m rooting for you! You are amazing