The Depression Thread

[Tanne1999]

Update - it’s 2.42am the next day. I’m still struggling to sleep. Had a 3hr snooze yesterday, that was all I managed.

I’ve just ordered some Kalms. Never tried them before so thought it was worth trying them.

 

[Welshgal]

Are there any mental health charities in Germany who can help you?

Nice to meet a fellow Welshie by the way. I live in Swansea myself.

It's good to see you all being open and sharing your experiences.

I’m not sure tbh. I know my university offers a session to help you find a therapist but even they are fully booked for the next couple months. Covid really hit us all hard.

I find it somewhat easy to talk about it on here but could never offline

and aw, prynhawn da! my family’s from the north near Wrecsam!

 

[Penguin86]

I just feel so down today. I don’t feel suicidal per se since I’m on medication, but I am so numb and not excited about life. I have some goals and dreams but am too worn out to do anything to fulfil them. I thought 2022 would be a fresh start but it does not seem like it. Sometimes I think people like me will never be happy, and I will just end up aimlessly wandering through life.

The year has just begun. Don't write it off so quickly

 

[rainbowlemon]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much and have been for such a long time.

The book the power of now by Eckhart Tolle, helped me for a bit a couple of years before. It was mainly about observing your thoughts, that they were not you/ feeling more present in your body.

I'm not super religious and I know this isn't for everyone, but I started listening to Joel osteen's stuff on youtube two days ago. That was one of the only few things that actually gave me some hope.

For distractions= it was SIMS 4 for me just after my grandmother died. I needed to look after someone else.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Despite your anxiety and fears you have lots of great ideas and goals. Believe in yourself and you could do anything you wanted for yourself. Baby steps just to get your thoughts in order and before you know it you will be flying.
You mention that you think people are living their best life with lots of friends. People aren’t as confident as you think, many disguise their insecurities by just acting. And loneliness is a major issue for more people than you realize. There’s a Loneliness thread on here and reading this Depression thread shows how little confidence we have. These people you see aren’t nearly as confident or fulfilled. Believe you are every bit as good as anyone.

You always give such great advice, Libbylulu I agree with you completely.

__________________________________________________________________

How are you beautiful people doing today? Sending love and support to everyone who needs it.

 

[Professor Farnsworth]

I find it really draining when im in a hole and everyones happy happy. Im just like oh fck off

I only need to be around any people to think oh just fark off will ya!

 

[Professor Farnsworth]

does sertraline do that? I’ve been on it a while and my sex drive is nothing like it used to be - I didn’t realise. I’m a bit scared to swap meds because sertraline works for me x

Technically all SNRI’s do because of the way they work. I chose Venlafaxine because it is an SNRI and has lower incidences of sexual dysfunction, but is also prescribed to relieve menopausal symptoms (and I think a lot of my issues are perimenopause). Both have their plus and negative points. So if it works for you otherwise, then stick with it. I just knew it wasn’t right because I couldn’t orgasm anymore and I also found I had no positive effects from exercise endorphins. I also found it worked better for anxiety, although I did have to up the dose. None of them are perfect and I still have suicidal thoughts and feelings of hopelessness, but I think that requires therapy (which I’m starting again next week).

I don’t know if I have depression or not, some symptoms I feel I have then others I don’t. Had anxiety since I was 14 (had counselling and meds) but I feel “cured” of it now, maybe teenage hormones? Been under so much stress lately and feel unable to cope. Not getting joy out of things I normally enjoy, taking my eye of the prize and feeling like I’m barely getting through the days. I feel no energy, so tired, barely sleeping and feel like a zombie. Even feel that my work is being affected as I have no energy. Have nobody to talk to about this as I am “happy, bubbly and active” around others, I feel so low.
Came to a point last night where I said I just needed to phone in sick today and tomorrow to sort myself out. Didn’t tell work it was for MH reasons and now they think I have bloody covid so may have to do a PCR before allowed back
It felt so good to write this!

I spent years telling doctors I’m not depressed, I just feel sad and ‘like a useless and broken robot’. I have terrible trust issues from childhood and adult trauma (I even have vivid dreams about being betrayed and dismissed). When I looked at my symptoms they described Borderline Personality Disorder, but I don’t cut myself so they are reluctant to diagnose me officially. It’s annoying really because everything is labelled as depression, but sometimes we’re just overwhelmed or there is a hormonal or physical reason behind our mood. Start writing a list of your symptoms day-to-day over a few weeks and see if a pattern is emerging that can possibly identify what’s going on. You can then talk to your GP and find a resolution. Covid has made us all really down and overwhelmed, but it’s important for you to see if it’s an ongoing thing or maybe you just need a break.

I feel really awful today. My asthma is bad and I had a horrendous anxiety dream. I’m so fed up with being ‘fucked up’. It’s exhausting and so lonely. I’ve just started a new role from home too so it’s happy, sweet smiley face all day! I just want to go back to bed!

 

[Clairer86]

I've had diagnosed depression/anxiety since I was 13. I've had 2 mental breakdowns - one in my teenage years where I didn't leave the house for 6 months and one a few years ago due to a job. It's something I've learned to live with, after many many attempts of counselling, CBT (made me feel worse!) and medications. About 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with BPD as I felt my depression was something 'more' if that makes sense. I usually keep that to myself though because there is still stigma around personality disorders and mental health conditions, no matter what people or charities will portray.

The past year with Covid and other personal events happening to me, my MH has taken a beating. Thankfully I'm in a position that I have something to keep me busy each day (my work) but if I didn't have that, I don't know what I would do. I have good days and not so good days, I just try to take each day as it comes now.

Aww im sorry to read you still feel the need to keep your BPD diagnosis to yourself, but i dont blame you at all because i even see it banded about on here when people are slagging off influencers! I am forever reading so and so "defo has bpd" and its so disheartening because we are not "bad" people at all, in fact we have empathy in spades, we are loving and caring (often to a fault) and so bloody loyal! I have accepted my BPD diagnosis now, i just wish there was more education and awareness surrounding BPD and personality disorders in general because quite often its used as a cheap shot to have a dig at anyone someone doesnt like!

 

[Pixipoppy]

Anyone have any tips to calm anxiety at night? I’m having a horrible time tonight, heart is racing I feel sick and my stomach is in knots. Horrible at night because it’s not like you can go out for a walk or anything.

In all honesty I take the easy route and use sleeping tablets at night. I hate laying there with my thoughts racing getting more and more stressed about the amount of sleep I’m missing

 

[Penguin86]

I feel really awful today. Like really down in the dumps. I'm tired and I've been awake with the baby since 5am. He's having a nap now and I've just got back in bed to lie there feeling sorry for myself. It's the first day this week the weather is alright for once but I cant even bring myself to open the blinds let alone go outside. I feel awful when I'm like this, like awful Mum guilt that I don't feel happy enough to take him anyway because I feel so down

Please don't beat yourself up over it x

 

[Pixipoppy]

I honestly feel for you and I know nothing I can say will make you feel better right now, I just want you to know you're not alone and I know exactly how you're feeling.

I feel exactly the same @Pixipoppy, it’s like you’ve described me to a T. Depression is a bitch, but I’m still here just living for little moments of happiness and waiting for some bigger goals. If I can do it, so can you! You are not alone

Thank you, I think realising I don’t have to be here if I don’t want to has actually made me feel better. I’m just living day to day, trying not to think about the big picture.

 

[Maid22]

@Sideboard Bob Thank you for that, but how are you now? Also, is that the lovely Debbie Harry your Avi?

 

[LittleMy]

I could use someone to talk to I’m struggling a lot

Are you ok, lovely? What’s up?

 

[keepitrealbarney]

Many that will post on here will be mistaking sadness with depression, so before stating you have ‘depression’, go through the correct channels of diagnosis, do your research, and self reflect, because the whole flippant culture of ‘I feel depressed’ and ‘I have anxiety and depression’ is becoming monotonous.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

This is exactly my life right now. I just woke up from a nightmare at 3:40 am. I am so sad. Going to pop a pill and try to get back to sleep.

Also stupid and devoured half a bag of chips. I started counting calories and I don’t know how people do it healthily - it’s fucking with me a lot. I’ve gone over the limit both days I’ve counted so far. I’m an idiot.

I had nightmares today too, got 10 hours of sleep but I only feel tired and not refreshed!

And I don’t calorie count because yeah, it’s hellish. I just try to eat healthily 80% of the time but treat myself regularly too. Please don’t be too hard on yourself, I bet you are gorgeous!

Sending love to you @unnecessary and @philheybrookbay Please hang in there!

 

[TARDIS Blue]

Thank you
! I should have mentioned that I live in Germany, so this sadly won’t help me but hopefully someone else reading here!

Are there any mental health charities in Germany who can help you?

Nice to meet a fellow Welshie by the way. I live in Swansea myself.

It's good to see you all being open and sharing your experiences.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Thank you for your kind reply. I'm currently taking antidepressants and in therapy but I've been doing this on and off since I was a teen. It's just so hard to get the right support for the mental health condition I have which is complicated in itself. I'm just SO tired of fighting for the help I am supposedly entitled to but I will try again. I just want a bit of happiness in my life but no matter what I do it never seems to pay off. Perhaps I'm being overly negative at the moment but it's just how I feel. I hope you are ok.

I don’t blame you for being overly negative, you must be exhausted. I know what you mean, I feel like I have to really try and find any strength I have to keep asking for help. As I type this though, I’ve just realised, I think it shows we’re strong to keep on asking for help.
If you feel comfortable talking about it, there might be people here who have the same condition that can share advice? But PLEASE don’t talk about it here if you don’t want to.
I feel for you though, you’re doing all the right things, and it’s, like, what more can you do? I have have hope for you and all of us though, because we keep going, and seeking help and support, it’s a huge sign of strength.

I am ok thank you, I had a doctor’s appointment this week, and I know deep down I’m a happy person with so much to be grateful for, and I’m lucky I’ve got this part of me which keeps on trying to get that back.



Sorry this is such along rambling post!

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

I hope everyone has an okay day. I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m so anxious and sad. Cant concentrate on any tv. I’m just willing the day to finish. Might go for a walk later

Can you talk to someone? If anything, I’m here for you

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

I feel content today I’m trying to improve so much in my life by taking baby steps I’m looking forward to the future and grateful for what I already have I’m learning to get stronger and love myself im not putting too much pressure on myself as I know not all days are perfect.

I’m so glad to hear that! It sounds like you have a great strategy, I know you can do it and I believe so much in you! We will all get there!

 

[isabellalovescats]

Maybe it’s my mental disabilities combined with my hormonal birth control but I’ve been finding myself in extreme highs and lows in terms of mood. Was stupid and didn’t take my meds yesterday and I couldn’t sleep. I learned my lesson. Back on it tonight, I promise.
I find it very depressing that I don’t really have friends in this town still. Moving alone during a pandemic was a horrible idea in terms of MH. I know one girl and we hang out once every month or so but that’s about it. I have social anxiety along with depression and BPD (I like to call them the trifecta lmao) so it’s very hard for me to make friends. I used to try but over time I’ve learned that a lot of people don’t even reach out first or even text first. I always end up initiating things and as much as I love planning and being in control of my schedule, it gets tiring and sad. It’s as if no one wants to be friends. I am very lucky to have an awesome team of medical professions who help me tremendously but it’d be nice to have a friend or two.