The Depression Thread

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Does anyone else get stuck in a rut that because you can’t achieve your goals you see yourself as more of a failure? You end up feeling even worse about yourself and you’re left thinking what’s the point?

I know what it feels like, unfortunately. What helps me is telling myself these are just intrusive thoughts and that everyone progresses at their own pace. Success is relative anyway, and what matters most is being happy and content with yourself and your life, it doesn’t matter whether you are a stay at home mother or a Nobel laureate. I hope you are okay lovely

 

[openbook1]

Hi. I just read through this read. I think I may have had some type of depression on and off since I was a teen. I have definitely suffered from anxiety and panic attacks since I was a child although it is now under more control.
When I was in college I went through a phase of just feeling really down, all I wanted to do was sleep. I literally would be in bed all day. I never told my family or friends. Somehow I got out of that funk.
I moved to another country and got a job. A year after though I was let go. It's been 5 years since I worked. I've applied for jobs but never have any success. Luckily my husband has a good career.
Up until covid I had a really good social life, every day I would see people. Well, now it's down the shitter.
My husband is still WFH and we seem to argue more than ever. I feel more lonely than when he was at the office....because I know he is home yet I can't talk to him because he's working. I know that probably sounds crazy. Things are still iffy in regards to covid so precautions are still in place.
I have thought about volunteering somewhere and I apply but then I get invited to a zoom call or whatever and don't go as I feel so anxious about doing something new. I feel like an idiot.
I just feel so worthless as I really don't do a lot during the day. My husband and I had a frank conversation about how this is impacting me and it caused an argument. He cares but he says it seems I'm at the point where I have to help myself which I agree with. But it's so hard. I've gone from being a confident and person to not so much over the last year with covid lockdowns etc. I really just don't know where to begin.

 

[279cupcakes]

i’ve felt so awful for the last two weeks- i feel so lonely and low and just jealous of everyone. i feel awful because on paper my life is great- i have amazing friends and family, a well paid job and there are people who would love my life but i just can’t feel happy. i just feel numb to everything and so guilty that i can’t just be grateful for what i have.

 

[rainbowlemon]

I'm in ill health physically and mentally and have just gone up to 100mg Sertraline. The dizziness and headaches are awful. I know it won't last but ugh. I spoke to my neighbour before and had to run indoors to be sick. It felt like complete anxious overwhelm.

I want to die but I am so scared of ceasing to exist. Right now I'm living for my husband, my dog and Animal Crossing. I know that's pathetic. My husband says to do what I need to do until I feel improvement and that if I had flu for eg. I wouldn't feel pathetic. I know he's right. Mental illness is such a cruel mind virus.

Sending love to all. We have survived 100% of our shit days so far. We are not our thoughts.

I don't think it's pathetic at all. Any reason is enough. Do you like the SIMs too? You have to do whatever to stay alive.




Self massage could possibly help with the anxiety and to calm you down. It's called the havening technique.

A daily, self-healing practice using Havening Techniques® - Bing video

I know it take a while to shift out of the suicidal feelings but there's also this charity too who do provide extra support.

Home | Maytree

 

[Sideboard Bob]

@Maid22 I’m ok thank you (genuinely I am), I can get though each day, I’ve got so used to feeling like this, it’s only sometimes it gets too much if that makes sense.

Yes! I love Ms Harry, not long after I joined tattle I realised I’d be spending a lot of time here so I chose a pretty avatar!

 

[mindlessness]

snap. I feel lonely and I have a partner. A partner that has just told me he’s pulling out of the house purchase that’s solely in my name so that’s always nice.

I’ve felt depressed since my brother died 15 years ago and I honestly feel that with each passing year it gets worse. Over the last year or so I’ve had thoughts of harming myself. I know the NHS is overwhelmed but I feel as though there’s no support out there for people.

it just all feels hopeless but I know deep down that it isn’t.

It definitely isn't hopeless. Even when it feels like it is. I'm so sorry about your brother.

Mind has some specialised guidance/advice for people struggling with grief, including links to some charities that provide in person and telephone support for people who have experienced a bereavement: https://www.mind.org.uk/information...d-services/bereavement/support-and-self-care/

 

[Maid22]

Do you feel like when you're coming out of a low, you feel happy, but in a strange way if that makes sense?

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

My anxiety is through the roof today, I can’t think clearly or shake off this hyperventilation. My meds used to take the edge off it, now I will just bury myself in a film or a book.

 

[isabellalovescats]

I am sad today because I’m back to 145 lbs. I was awfully suicidal in May (couldn’t leave bed for a month) and it led to a 10-lb weight loss. My whole family told me that I looked great at 135 lbs and that I was fat before. I’ve worked so hard with my psychologist and doctor from May until mid-June to get out of the suicidal headspace. I’ve started eating again since the beginning of June. And now I am back to 145 lbs, which I think should be something that shows that I bounced back. But I’m super stressed about my weight gain although it was my happy weight before. Just stepped on the scale and I hated seeing the numbers.

Last time I tried sleeping pills it took me days to stop feeling drowsy

Ask your GP if there’s any meds that are not sleeping pills but are for your MH condition and will still help with sleep. That’s how I got the meds that helped out somewhat.

 

[rainbowlemon]

I’m definitely going to try speak out more I think the big thing is the anxiety of people judging me or if it’s wrong for me to feel like this. I know I have to get over things to accomplish goals and have a better life I want new friends and happiness I don’t know where to start but hoping to get there some day I struggle with talking to people my own age because they always seem to have the best life with goals and loads of friends whereas I don’t have no education only gcses I dropped out of college years ago so no chance of uni I am thinking about going back into education maybe I will meet people there but then I’m nervous for other people my age already having friends and me not fitting in. I have big dreams I want to achieve I just don’t know where to start or how to get there if that makes sense.

The oldest student at my uni that we had on campus was actually 72. I saw him in the lunch hall just doing his thing. Everyone's life is different. I struggle with this too but at the end of the day the only opinion that matters of you is yours.

My mother went to english classes for adults. Maybe you could do a foundation degree, BTECs or a diploma first or have a look at the open university. Also a lot of people might have the picture perfect instagram but it's not always what it seems.

 

[Blue Rose]

I’m so sorry Blue Rose! I don’t think you should push yourself into getting comfortable if you are not comfortable with the idea yet, but just knowing you can get it might make you feel more safe. How are you today?

Thank you for all your kind messages x. I’ve felt a lot better since Friday night and think I will continue with the counselling service. I’ve been put on a waiting list and will be quite busy over the next few weeks so it might be a while until I have a proper session anyway. That should give me time to prepare myself. I’ve also decided that I’m not drink unless it’s socially anymore, since all it did was remind me of how lonely I was and trigger me.

 

[watermelon sugar]

@Raymond Luxury-Yacht aw thank you for messaging lovely I'm okay today. I'm feeling better than I did. Idk whether I'm gonna reach out to my gp. I'm on sertraline at the moment and it kinda takes the edge off but not much. It helps with my anxiety but not at all my depression. I dont feel like therapy helps. I've had therapy a few times over the years and I've never really found it takes the sadness away. I think I've accepted I'm always gonna be up and down now I do have a good support network, some of my friends are really caring. My boyfriend can be but he is the 'tough love' advice kind. His stance on depression is always 'you're the only one who can get out of it, it's all in your head!' 'Just be positive' like gosh that's so easy but when I am really upset he is good to talk to.

I think I've been in and out of PND as well. Sometimes I'm so hard on myself over the baby. I've really struggled having a baby right before a pandemic

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

I’m currently busy with essays, but I will come back to tattle a bit later. How are you all doing? What’s up @Chrisxo?

 

[Penguin86]

So i grabbed a nap for nearly 2 hours and now I feel nauseous and headachey.

 

[Sheabutter]

I feel like a teenager questioning everything and wondering when was the last time I felt happy. I used to count the things I was grateful for everyday. I would come up with six different things. Now I wonder what I did to deserve those things and how to stop them from going away. It sends me down a deeply existential path. I was steeped in one philosophy growing up and while I challenged it, it never occurred to me that I might want to seek out an entirely different philosophical way of being and go ahead and structure my life around it. Part of me wants to pursue the notion and part of me is scared because I feel like cults prey on people asking these questions. Cornel West popped up on my feed for a master class ad and he was so compelling. I bristle at the thought of letting capitalism fill me with values though. Then again, the people handing out free pamphlets are pretty weird too.

 

[PumpkinKing]

Sorry you feel like crap I stopped medicine by myself once but it got worse real fast. Have you started taking them again? I mean you do have meds for a reason, it helps making life a bit easier

Yeah i started only yesterday on a low dose, hoping to speak to my GP tomorrow.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

@BoredHousewifeSince2007: Please call someone ASAP, if anything, I’m here for you.

@TapToBoreMeRigid: I have no experience with Sertraline but I hope the trembling goes away, it sounds super unpleasant x

 

[Sideboard Bob]

hey everyone. I'm so upset right now. I just need to vent a minute. my partner's dad died earlier this week. I told him I'd look after him, like he did for me when my mother died. (radically different circs, I was A Mess).but apparently I'm not doing too well in the looking after stakes and my partner has kinda got cross with me (understandable,)

and, I kinda self harmed because it relieved something. but fuck am I not gonna feel good about myself in the morning!

oh @kachoochoo I’m so so sorry. What you’re going through is too much for anyone to be able to cope with. When you’re struggling mentally everything‘s hard, I can’t even imagine how overwhelming it must be to feel that you need to support someone else emotionally just now.
I know it’s easier said than done, but I hope you can go easy on yourself today, and that your partner understands that you’re unwell, and I guess you’re grieving too. I wish I could say something more helpful or practical, but I just want you to know you’re not venting into the void, and that people here are wishing you well x

 

[Libbylulu]

I've felt myself spiralling downwards for a while and have tried really hard to keep it together, but am struggling big time today, all I want to do is sleep, and not wake up, I've been there before, along time ago, the meds have helped me, but that feeling is consuming me, fuckin hate this shit.

Hang in there, you’re right it is shit. Give yourself some time, take it easy and as the old cliche goes ‘this too will pass’. Sending you a huge hug and keep posting to let your feelings out and to let us know how you’re doing xxx

 

[Kim Mild]

I really hope everyone on this thread gets relief from whatever it is you are personally going through

Does anyone feel like crying but physically not even shed a single tear even though you have that feeling in your chest that just wants to come out but simply can't? It's as though there is a disconnect between emotions and your body. Crying would bring me a lot of relief, but my body is not following.

I have felt this . Often I feel like I don't have time to cry , nor do I have the privacy . Crying is something that would release , and it's not something that should be stopped during the process beautiful someone is trying to comfort you.