The Depression Thread

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

I’m dreading Christmas. If I’m completely honest I didn’t think I’d be here. Not sure how I survived this year. I just want the whole festive period to be over.

It will be over before you know it. Be kind to yourself, I am very happy that you are here

Anyone else find Christmas lights and music really jarring with how they feel? So much happiness and I can't understand how people can be happy.

This is the first year I am not going to spend any part of Xmas with the person who sexually abused me. That's the only good bit. I am completely ignoring Xmas rather than trying...trying would make me feel worse.

I'm increasing Sertraline to 150 from 100 tomorrow.

I actually find it distracting now but I’ve been where you are and I know how you feel. It’s really hurtful to see other people happy when you are just not. But it’s okay, you don’t have to be, we’re taught we should be happy all of the time but it’s impossible. Take care of yourself, I hope upping the dose helps you

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Sending love to all of you who are struggling I too am in quite a bad place - have been for the last month and a bit. It feels like a slump I’m never going to be able to pull myself out of. My thoughts are all over the place and my mood is mega low - I’m struggling to even mask it, which usually comes kind of naturally to me.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

It feels like a slump I’m never going to be able to pull myself out of.

I hate how depression makes us feel like we are alone and stuck in a bad place. That is not true, you will get better even if you might not be feeling it now. Sending much love to you and everybody else who needs it I’m here for you!

 

[mindlessness]

Anyone else feel tit and then just... do ridiculous tit and make bad decisions and ruin their own life?

I've been sabotaging a good career for nearly two years because I can't sort my head out and nobody seems to give a tit, and it's a job at a level where I can't and don't expect hand holding, but also... My brain is mush and I can't concentrate so I just shut down.

I drink way too much at the moment. Always been a drinker but never to blackout/can't stand levels, until now. Always had a good tolerance and been a nice drinker and the life and soul but now I'm just a chaotic crying nuisance.

Same for drugs, need to give my brain a chance and in my head I want a quiet life but I'm just chaotic sometimes. I'm lonely and do stupid tit and risky things with inappropriate men who probably don't even like me.

I'm 36 and should have a life by now. I left an abusive relationship 4 years ago and had some therapy but I still feel like I've never had and will never have a normal life and maybe I'm not really a person and I've done something horrible to just be stuck. I've tried really hard over the last few years to not repeat the same old shut as before and what I'm doing now is no better. It all just seems very pointless. Sorry for the essay, maybe just saying it out loud will help.

I have friends who have struggled with drugs/alcohol on top of the depression. It bleeping sucks. Do you have a GP you'd be comfortable talking to about it? Would you feel comfortable giving an AA or NA group a visit? I know its easier said/suggested than actually done.

FWIW, leaving an abusive relationship is something that requires strength and bravery. You are capable of doing hard things because you've done them before.

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

I was in such a good mood yesterday, almost manic, but today I am feeling very low. I want to cry and almost feel like doing something to myself. I just hate how it’s up and down and up and then down again. I would appreciate some good thoughts being sent my way

 

[nothanksbabes]

I have friends who have struggled with drugs/alcohol on top of the depression. It bleeping sucks. Do you have a GP you'd be comfortable talking to about it? Would you feel comfortable giving an AA or NA group a visit? I know its easier said/suggested than actually done.

FWIW, leaving an abusive relationship is something that requires strength and bravery. You are capable of doing hard things because you've done them before.

Thank you

I know I can drink moderately, or could. It hadn't occurred to me today that alcohol probably doesn't interact very well with my medication and that's where things have started to go wrong. I've got nice things planned with chill people and have cancelled all my drinks with friends this month so hopefully that will help. One of my friends who I spend quite a lot of time with (she was my bubble in tbe pandemic) is a problem drinker (no judgement, I'm not exactly a shining example) and I've said I need to spend less time with her because I can't keep pouring booze on my problems and she is unwilling to not drink.

Anyway, I'm waffling again, thank you for being nice. These last couple of days have been better

 

[Maid22]

I was in such a good mood yesterday, almost manic, but today I am feeling very low. I want to cry and almost feel like doing something to myself. I just hate how it’s up and down and up and then down again. I would appreciate some good thoughts being sent my way

I'm the same, I feel like there is no easy medium, I just know when I'm happy, a low will come, it's always the same.
It's hard for us all, it's like a viscous cycle, just know you aren't alone, this thread has been a godsend to me, so sending you positive thoughts.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I'm 36 and should have a life by now. I left an abusive relationship 4 years ago and had some therapy but I still feel like I've never had and will never have a normal life and maybe I'm not really a person and I've done something horrible to just be stuck. I've tried really hard over the last few years to not repeat the same old shut as before and what I'm doing now is no better. It all just seems very pointless. Sorry for the essay, maybe just saying it out loud will help.

I just want to say you have not done something horrible, you’ve been through something horrible, and that’s not your fault. Please keep talking to us, saying it out loud, and keep seeking professional help. I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling, but how you’re reacting isn’t a reflection of you as a person.

 

[nothanksbabes]

I just want to say you have not done something horrible, you’ve been through something horrible, and that’s not your fault. Please keep talking to us, saying it out loud, and keep seeking professional help. I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling, but how you’re reacting isn’t a reflection of you as a person.

That's really kind of you, thank you so much .

 

[emm]

Sorry I am jumping on this thread, I was wondering ( I assume a lot of you have) done this I basicallyhave been advised to go on anti depressants, but I have heard SO many negatives from so many kinds... does anyone have any advice? (I am going to a private doctor so I canask for a specific brand)

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Sorry I am jumping on this thread, I was wondering ( I assume a lot of you have) done this I basicallyhave been advised to go on anti depressants, but I have heard SO many negatives from so many kinds... does anyone have any advice? (I am going to a private doctor so I canask for a specific brand)

I have no actual advice, mainly because they really do affect each person differently. I’ve been on (I think) four different antidepressants over the last 5 years. The negative side effects usually go away after a few weeks, but sometimes months. It’s so worth it when it helps though.

Tell your doctor exactly how you’re feeling, and if you’ve taken any medication before, about how it affected you. It really is a case of trial and error sometimes.

The one specific advice I can give re meds is that Venlafaxine AKA Effexor is extremely hard to come off of. It seems to be a common problem, it definitively was for me, the withdrawal symptoms were hard to deal with.
But, please don’t let that put you off of anything! A good doctor will help you gradually increase the dose when you start a new medication, and then help gradually decrease it when you stop.

The antidepressants that did work for me were amazing, and I really hope it helps you @emm x

 

[Maid22]

Sorry I am jumping on this thread, I was wondering ( I assume a lot of you have) done this I basicallyhave been advised to go on anti depressants, but I have heard SO many negatives from so many kinds... does anyone have any advice? (I am going to a private doctor so I canask for a specific brand)

From my experience, I've had to try a few different ads, each are different, they can take a couple of weeks or so before you feel better, , my best advice to you emm, tell your Dr everything how you feel x

 

[Penguin86]

So I was on 100mg of sertraline and my doctor recently had it upped to 150mg. Just wondering if anyone has experienced side effects from going up because I think I am.

 

[Sheabutter]

So I was on 100mg of sertraline and my doctor recently had it upped to 150mg. Just wondering if anyone has experienced side effects from going up because I think I am.

I’m on 50mg for anxiety. I tried going up to 100mg but my brain felt wrong. That’s the only way to describe it.

 

[Penguin86]

I’m on 50mg for anxiety. I tried going up to 100mg but my brain felt wrong. That’s the only way to describe it.

Yeah that's how my head feels like fuzzy headed

 

[Libbylulu]

Is sertraline the most prescribed anti depressant in the UK. So many I know take it including close family members. Curious that’s all.

 

[Penguin86]

Is sertraline the most prescribed anti depressant in the UK. So many I know take it including close family members. Curious that’s all.

I think sertraline is now. It used to be Fluoxetine.
Sertraline is really effective for anxiety

 

[barmcake]

Glossy: I haven't been able to cry since 2007 so I know how you feel. The only way I manage my depression is medication and being totally selfish by managing my life around the depression. I live like a hermit but still enjoy my pets, reading and cooking. The worst thing is having to put on a brave face to the outside world. The world is a scary place now, but instead of worrying about wars, pandemics and climate change just try and concentrate on you for the moment. Everything in life is temporary and we are no more important than a grain of sand. Sorry I can't offer you anything more positive but positive thinking actually makes me feel worse. When people say 'there are people worse off than you' or 'go for a nice walk' I know they've don't understand.

 

[lemonlime]

I was in such a good mood yesterday, almost manic, but today I am feeling very low. I want to cry and almost feel like doing something to myself. I just hate how it’s up and down and up and then down again. I would appreciate some good thoughts being sent my way

Sending you all of them

 

[Raymond Luxury-Yacht]

Sending you all of them

Thank you so much lovely, it means a lot to me