Feel like there's no point in anything any more.
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I’m not going to change your mind on this in one post. But is there anything you can do in the immediate term to improve this feeling?
Can you phone 111 or the Samaritans? Do you have time to phone your dr later to try to arrange an appointment?
Can you think of anything specific that has triggered this feeling, is it a build up of lots of things? Can any of them be dealt with to ease your load?
Finally, try and divide the day into little chunks. Try and do one thing in each chunk. Get up. Have a cup of tea or coffee. Have a shower if you can. Get back to us.
I'm trying to get an appointment with my gp in regards to finding out of there's currently any funding for counselling.
I'm trying to find joy in the little things, like my favourite TV show, or a sunny day, but it's getting harder.
I have a chronic illness and disability that causes me a great deal of pain and fatigue. Plus there's a lot of stuff going on that is just draining me. I actually pretty much had a breakdown last year but I managed to claw myself back with the help of new antidepressants. There were a lot of reasons for it, including covid meaning a cancelled 20th anniversary trip to LA, my beloved dog of 17 years passing away (and again because of covid I couldn't be at the vet when he passed, only my husband, which I can't forgive myself for) etc. So this year my husband booked for us to go to NYC for our anniversary (and due to my health it takes a lot of planning) but now his dad, who lives with us, is in the hospital with an infection and has told my husband he doesn't want us to go and leave him home alone, in case he gets sick while we're away. He literally said "you've got lots of time to travel when I'm gone". Except I don't know if I do because of my illness and disability, I don't know how my body will hold up and if I'll physically be able to travel. But I'm being made to feel selfish for being upset that the trip has been cancelled and we're never going to go anywhere else for who knows how long.
We never had the chance to travel when we first got married either as my husband was a full time carer for his late mum who had MND. So we didn't even get a honeymoon. Or a wedding, actually, as my husband didn't think it was fair to have a big day that his mum and dad couldn't attend. So we went to the registrary office and came straight home again, no reception or anything.
I love my husband but I just feel like I'm always missing out on things.
I'm trying to find joy in the little things, like my favourite TV show, or a sunny day, but it's getting harder.
I have a chronic illness and disability that causes me a great deal of pain and fatigue. Plus there's a lot of stuff going on that is just draining me. I actually pretty much had a breakdown last year but I managed to claw myself back with the help of new antidepressants. There were a lot of reasons for it, including covid meaning a cancelled 20th anniversary trip to LA, my beloved dog of 17 years passing away (and again because of covid I couldn't be at the vet when he passed, only my husband, which I can't forgive myself for) etc. So this year my husband booked for us to go to NYC for our anniversary (and due to my health it takes a lot of planning) but now his dad, who lives with us, is in the hospital with an infection and has told my husband he doesn't want us to go and leave him home alone, in case he gets sick while we're away. He literally said "you've got lots of time to travel when I'm gone". Except I don't know if I do because of my illness and disability, I don't know how my body will hold up and if I'll physically be able to travel. But I'm being made to feel selfish for being upset that the trip has been cancelled and we're never going to go anywhere else for who knows how long.
We never had the chance to travel when we first got married either as my husband was a full time carer for his late mum who had MND. So we didn't even get a honeymoon. Or a wedding, actually, as my husband didn't think it was fair to have a big day that his mum and dad couldn't attend. So we went to the registrary office and came straight home again, no reception or anything.
I love my husband but I just feel like I'm always missing out on things.
You sound like you have a lot going on and have had a lot going on for a while. I definitely think that counselling would be the right way forward, particularly to talk about the lack of travel and your beloved dog passing.
You dealing with your illness is also a big thing and your counsellor can help with that. When you write all these things down, can you see how much you are dealing with and that sometimes our brains just say “no”.
Is there anything you and your husband can do to make up for the lack of the big trip? Small days out, meals?
So sorry you feel like this. Sending hugs
Hi everyone. I’ve been reading for a few pages and you all seem lovely. I don’t know if we can talk about diagnosis or if that is triggering but I did want to ask about medication if that’s ok?
I’ve been on sertraline for around 9 months now, at first after the initial couple of weeks of nausea and dizziness etc make a difference and I was starting to feel more and more like the old me. I still had bad days but I was definitely more in this world.
However, lately, my lack of interest in things has returned. I can sit and watch episode after episode of tv show and not really be watching them but time just disappears. I have little to no interest in household tasks and the disassociation with the world is real.
I have a nearly 3yo and the days that I have her and she’s not at nursery I literally feel like I’m just going through the motions and that is not the mum I wanted to be.
I guess what I’m asking is, will upping my dose of sertraline help me (after speaking to my gp of course), has anyone ever regressed whilst on sertraline or is it worth me discussing other meds?
Sorry for the long post.
I’ve been on sertraline for around 9 months now, at first after the initial couple of weeks of nausea and dizziness etc make a difference and I was starting to feel more and more like the old me. I still had bad days but I was definitely more in this world.
However, lately, my lack of interest in things has returned. I can sit and watch episode after episode of tv show and not really be watching them but time just disappears. I have little to no interest in household tasks and the disassociation with the world is real.
I have a nearly 3yo and the days that I have her and she’s not at nursery I literally feel like I’m just going through the motions and that is not the mum I wanted to be.
I guess what I’m asking is, will upping my dose of sertraline help me (after speaking to my gp of course), has anyone ever regressed whilst on sertraline or is it worth me discussing other meds?
Sorry for the long post.
He says he will try and get us out on daytrips, which I appreciate, but it's hard to feel excited about it when I was supposed to be going to America which I've dreamed of for years and I've been so excited for since last year.You sound like you have a lot going on and have had a lot going on for a while. I definitely think that counselling would be the right way forward, particularly to talk about the lack of travel and your beloved dog passing.
You dealing with your illness is also a big thing and your counsellor can help with that. When you write all these things down, can you see how much you are dealing with and that sometimes our brains just say “no”.
Is there anything you and your husband can do to make up for the lack of the big trip? Small days out, meals?
So sorry you feel like this. Sending hugs
I don’t have much to add over what ITT has said, but couldn’t read and run.
You have a lot to manage every day. Read back what you’ve written, and imagine it’s a friend’s situation.
Now imagine how you’d feel for that friend. Probably you might feel worried for them, because they have so much to think about with no respite? Now remember that that’s you, and that you are managing - even if it doesn’t feel like it.
I agree that counselling is a good place to start. You might find that you can self-refer, if you google for your area. For example I’m in Hampshire, and we can self-refer to iTalk without having to wait for the GP. It might be another way in, but I do think you should get a GP appointment, too.
If you’ve been on your current antid for a year, maybe they need a little tweak too just to give you a little more help?
It’s not fair that you have had to cancel your plans. It’s not okay that it’s happened, but us is okay that you feel upset or annoyed about it. Your feelings - no matter what they are - are valid. Don’t forget that.
ITT’s suggestion of some other plans like day trips and meals is a brilliant one. I hope you’re able to try and think about that with your husband.
Keep talking to us
Hey
I haven’t been on this thread long but I don’t think there’s any rules about what you can and can’t share. Just pop anything that you think might be upsetting behind a spoiler? Then people can choose whether or when to read.
You have described me. When my 3yo is at the childminder my days just disappear. I have no idea where the hours go.
When he’s home, I struggle to be the mum I want to be.
You aren’t alone, but I bet you’re doing more than you realise.
I am changing meds as the numbness and auto-pilot are probably a result of what I’m on.
It would be worth a conversation with your GP to talk about how you’re feeling, and see if there is something they can suggest. It might be a slight reduction, or a change, rather than an increase as it could be the sertraline suppressing your emotions.
I hadn’t even considered that it was the meds making me feel so flat until the psychiatrist mentioned it.
It’s a horrible way to feel and you don’t have to carry on like this x
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Thank you guys xx
Remember we are here. But if you want to hide that is fine too. The pressure of posting is hard too xxx
(I don’t know if that comes across right, but sometimes when it really is that bad, my phone is an added stressor with emails, SM etc so I ignore it for a while which obviously doesn’t help but
).From what you’ve shared on the Hinch thread I think we have been through very similar experiences. Thank you for your very kind words, as always, I will speak to my GP and see what they say. I so enjoyed the brief relief I got from the dark cloud hanging over me and I would love for that to be a more regular thing.I don’t have much to add over what ITT has said, but couldn’t read and run.
You have a lot to manage every day. Read back what you’ve written, and imagine it’s a friend’s situation.
Now imagine how you’d feel for that friend. Probably you might feel worried for them, because they have so much to think about with no respite? Now remember that that’s you, and that you are managing - even if it doesn’t feel like it.
I agree that counselling is a good place to start. You might find that you can self-refer, if you google for your area. For example I’m in Hampshire, and we can self-refer to iTalk without having to wait for the GP. It might be another way in, but I do think you should get a GP appointment, too.
If you’ve been on your current antid for a year, maybe they need a little tweak too just to give you a little more help?
It’s not fair that you have had to cancel your plans. It’s not okay that it’s happened, but us is okay that you feel upset or annoyed about it. Your feelings - no matter what they are - are valid. Don’t forget that.
ITT’s suggestion of some other plans like day trips and meals is a brilliant one. I hope you’re able to try and think about that with your husband.
Keep talking to us
Hey
I haven’t been on this thread long but I don’t think there’s any rules about what you can and can’t share. Just pop anything that you think might be upsetting behind a spoiler? Then people can choose whether or when to read.
You have described me. When my 3yo is at the childminder my days just disappear. I have no idea where the hours go.
When he’s home, I struggle to be the mum I want to be.
You aren’t alone, but I bet you’re doing more than you realise.
I am changing meds as the numbness and auto-pilot are probably a result of what I’m on.
It would be worth a conversation with your GP to talk about how you’re feeling, and see if there is something they can suggest. It might be a slight reduction, or a change, rather than an increase as it could be the sertraline suppressing your emotions.
I hadn’t even considered that it was the meds making me feel so flat until the psychiatrist mentioned it.
It’s a horrible way to feel and you don’t have to carry on like this x
I'm so sorry your feeling like this
sending lots of love to you 
I'm certain they wouldn't
xx
Does anyone have any tips on apps for your mental health? I'm interested in seeing if there are any that may be helpful in dealing with depression and anxiety. I currently use Daylio for journalling/mood tracking and Presently for gratitude, but I was wondering if any of you have other suggestions. I'm also thinking of subscribing to Headspace if it's good. Thanks everyone and I hope you are doing well. 
I’m going out tonight! I can see it far enough for the simple reason that I’ve put on loads of weight and I feel and look awful.
I’m feeling less anxious about the situation with my friend but it’s left me feeling a bit reluctant to speak up and be honest again. But that’s teeny in the grand scheme of things. I’m going to do more AA meetings and try to come to terms with what’s really going on and to do that I need acceptance:
This is taken from one of the stories in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and when God is referred to in AA, it is a God of your own understanding
Even though this is an issue for me, I’m not sure of the exact terms so sincere apologies if I offend anyone.
I have been secret eating again, something I haven’t done for a while. It’s buying things to eat at work and not telling my husband or if I’m WFH, ordering stuff from Just Eat and hiding the rubbish in the bins. I have previously had issues with bulimia and while that is not happening, I’m caught in a cycle of a habit that’s very comforting/hatred of myself/feeling low and seeking to change how I feel. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and it all feels insurmountable. Like I can’t take that first step, literally or figuratively.
I have been secret eating again, something I haven’t done for a while. It’s buying things to eat at work and not telling my husband or if I’m WFH, ordering stuff from Just Eat and hiding the rubbish in the bins. I have previously had issues with bulimia and while that is not happening, I’m caught in a cycle of a habit that’s very comforting/hatred of myself/feeling low and seeking to change how I feel. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and it all feels insurmountable. Like I can’t take that first step, literally or figuratively.
This is taken from one of the stories in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and when God is referred to in AA, it is a God of your own understanding
You are probably aware that I am not the best person to comment here having actually eaten food from the bins where I put it to prevent myself from eating it.I’m going out tonight! I can see it far enough for the simple reason that I’ve put on loads of weight and I feel and look awful.
I’m feeling less anxious about the situation with my friend but it’s left me feeling a bit reluctant to speak up and be honest again. But that’s teeny in the grand scheme of things. I’m going to do more AA meetings and try to come to terms with what’s really going on and to do that I need acceptance:Even though this is an issue for me, I’m not sure of the exact terms so sincere apologies if I offend anyone.
I have been secret eating again, something I haven’t done for a while. It’s buying things to eat at work and not telling my husband or if I’m WFH, ordering stuff from Just Eat and hiding the rubbish in the bins. I have previously had issues with bulimia and while that is not happening, I’m caught in a cycle of a habit that’s very comforting/hatred of myself/feeling low and seeking to change how I feel. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and it all feels insurmountable. Like I can’t take that first step, literally or figuratively.
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This is taken from one of the stories in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and when God is referred to in AA, it is a God of your own understanding
However, what I can say is that you may feel and think that you look awful but those are your feelings and although they are valid to you (and absolutely need to be addressed), they will not be held by anyone else. They will not or ever will see you in the way you see yourself
.Secondly, you have such a considered attitude towards your journey, can you not apply the same approach to your body? Our bodies allow us to get through the most challenging times in our lives. Maybe your body is telling you that it needs to do this because there are other challenges it is facing? It needs to do this because of other things? Maybe put the things you mention in the post on the backburner. Tackle the other things (if you can) and the eating things may subside. If they don’t, then you can look to seek help.
Maybe I am out of line. I am really sorry if I am. I just know from endless times either sitting surrounded by wrappers, in tears with the guilt or running for hours in agony that it is never, ever about the food.
I hope you have a lovely night .
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@LennyBriscoe I hope you have a brilliant evening Your friend will just be pleased to see you, I’m sure. They won’t notice anything else.
My musings on food (I’m a secret comfort eater). Hiding in case you don’t have the capacity for it just now, but please know you aren’t alone x
@Into_the_tunnel I love reading your posts
Your friend will just be pleased to see you, I’m sure. They won’t notice anything else.My musings on food (I’m a secret comfort eater). Hiding in case you don’t have the capacity for it just now, but please know you aren’t alone x
A person’s relationship with food is so up and down over the years, isn’t it? When we find ourselves doing things we think we ‘shouldn’t’ we end up feeling worse about ourselves; but if we don’t do those things (eg we don’t eat the food we really want to eat) we end up feeling so many other things mentally and emotionally.
I know for me, if I suddenly find myself eating and I think I ‘shouldn’t’ and I stop myself, I then get annoyed (with myself for getting to that point),
upset (that food leaves me feeling like this)
and then I feel tired - as if the denial has made my body suffer in some way (which it usually hasn’t as actually it was crap I was going to eat and would only give immediate gratification, not long term)
I’ve gained a lot of weight in the last 12-18 months and I’m not at all happy, but I don’t have the capacity to do anything about it just now so I’m trying to reach acceptance. It’s hard.
I know for me, if I suddenly find myself eating and I think I ‘shouldn’t’ and I stop myself, I then get annoyed (with myself for getting to that point),
upset (that food leaves me feeling like this)
and then I feel tired - as if the denial has made my body suffer in some way (which it usually hasn’t as actually it was crap I was going to eat and would only give immediate gratification, not long term)
I’ve gained a lot of weight in the last 12-18 months and I’m not at all happy, but I don’t have the capacity to do anything about it just now so I’m trying to reach acceptance. It’s hard.
@Into_the_tunnel I love reading your posts
So an update to my previous post - my father in law now claims that he never told us he didn't want us to go on holiday, he said 'it's not my place to tell you whether or not to go away'. So is this gaslightling? He doesn't have memory issues or dementia or anything like that, so it's not like he has 'forgotten' that he told my husband he didn't want us to go away.
Regardless, my husband still doesn't want to leave him, so we're still not going.
My husband suggested that I take my best friend away to London for the weekend later in the year instead - so I asked my BFF and she was super exited, as was I. And then last night he got into a fight with me because I 'get to go to London' while he 'never gets anywhere'. I said to him that it was HIS idea, and that I was only going along with what he said, and he shot back at me 'You should have said no'. So now I'm totally confused. I'm the bad guy for agreeing to his suggestion, because apparently I should have declined and sat at home with him. It was his decision to cancel our trips.
Been suffering from migraines and have been comfort eating.
Regardless, my husband still doesn't want to leave him, so we're still not going.
My husband suggested that I take my best friend away to London for the weekend later in the year instead - so I asked my BFF and she was super exited, as was I. And then last night he got into a fight with me because I 'get to go to London' while he 'never gets anywhere'. I said to him that it was HIS idea, and that I was only going along with what he said, and he shot back at me 'You should have said no'. So now I'm totally confused. I'm the bad guy for agreeing to his suggestion, because apparently I should have declined and sat at home with him. It was his decision to cancel our trips.
Been suffering from migraines and have been comfort eating.
Just adding that I've managed to get a GP appointment via telephone for Friday 13th (eep) to ask about counselling.
First time posting in this thread, I'm struggling.
I've been depressed for at least ten years. The new medication was working so well, but now it just makes things worse. I've been job hunting for the past six months and only got one interview and didn't get it. I'm in my mid 20s, I've never worked a real job, my friends have jobs and driving licenses, some are even married.
It feels like everyone grew up and im stuck in my 14 year old depression. And anxiety. I don't know what to do. I'm so tired. I don't enjoy anything. All I do is sleep. I've been wearing the same clothes since Tuesday.
I've been depressed for at least ten years. The new medication was working so well, but now it just makes things worse. I've been job hunting for the past six months and only got one interview and didn't get it. I'm in my mid 20s, I've never worked a real job, my friends have jobs and driving licenses, some are even married.
It feels like everyone grew up and im stuck in my 14 year old depression. And anxiety. I don't know what to do. I'm so tired. I don't enjoy anything. All I do is sleep. I've been wearing the same clothes since Tuesday.
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. Maybe your medication needs tweaked if it's not working so well anymore?
Sending love and hugs.
Sending love and hugs.
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