The Depression Thread #2

[Fanny Muchmore]

First counselling session yesterday - all a bit last minute as it was a cancellation, only got word at 8:30pm Monday night. Spent the whole session filling out the relevent paperwork and still didn't get it all done.

Thankfully this one was the 'introduction' and isn't taken out of my 6 sessions'.

 

[Maid22]

@Sideboard Bob I really have to ask, your user name on here, where did that come from?

 

[Pollyanna263]

Your a superwoman never forget that

Meeting was a waste of time unfortunately. Mentioned everything we has been through the last few years and think she benefit from counselling like my son did at school told me she only worried about the phone incident x

Thank you Hard to believe that sometimes!


Oh ffs, that is not exactly the level of support you need from the school.
I can’t remember how old your two are, are they both secondary school? Wonder if the school nurse team would be able to help.
I know you probably don’t want anyone else involved, but it’s not fair that this is all on you - especially with the ex causing more dramas

 

[AL10]

You’re doing so many good things @AL10 , keep building on that. Don’t give up on yourself. And a gap between teeth is actually something that makes you unique, and many people find it an attractive feature. Things change as we age, you don’t want to look back on this time and wonder why you were so hard on yourself. Smile and laugh and talk as you feel it, I bet your whole demeanour lights up when you do. Make those appointments as you can afford. You deserve it just as much as anyone else.

Thank you so much I really do appreciate that! I’ve only told my mum and my fiancé how I feel so it does feel a bit better to share it x

 

[LaBlonde]

having some work done on my house at the moment (new boiler and all new radiators) and it has sent my ocd into absolute overdrive because of (a) the mess and movement of my things and (b) because the new stuff doesn’t fit the space in exactly the same way as the old stuff did. the new boiler is much smaller than my super old and faulty previous one so slightly more of the pipes are visible and i (very embarrassingly) cried looked at it. my mother was like: wtf are you crying for and i couldn’t articulate why. so much of my ocd is centered around my house and i hate having any kind of work done to my house for that reason. hopefully they’ll finish tomorrow and i can actually start putting everything back where it should be.

it’s so embarrassing though. i need (and would like) a new kitchen but the thought of actually having it done ruins it for me.

 

[Eeyore147]

Might be worth seeing if the levels could be adjusted of what you’re already taking? Sometimes that’s enough to help us

I wish I could but unfortunately I’m on the max of everything. I’m waiting to start a TC for my EUPD but the lists are just so long. Luckily I have regular reviews with CPN & Psychiatrist. I just take things hour by hour. Sending love to you

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Thank you . This means a lot. Today has been a big milestone as I am on my own for over 12 hours on Tuesdays with no shop and this usually results in regrettable behaviours. Today has been the first Tuesday in however long where that hasn’t happened. Tunnel dog and I were busy with cleaning, walking, cooking her wellness meals etc. No corner has been turned but slow steps.

@LennyBriscoe - I got all panicked the other day that everyone had me ignored because I said I couldn’t stay for the calorie chat. Well panic was an understatement. Honestly, the things our minds do. I see you and others elsewhere and I don’t want to do random likes but it gives me a familiar warm feeling. I didn’t read my book. I need to go and sit somewhere quiet. Will update when I get past page 2 .

Sending

I’m really proud of you for today, that’s huge! I hope you feel proud of yourself too. Next time you’re feeling down on yourself, please remember today.

I ‘d one of your posts earlier about the calories etc chat but it was more to let you know that I saw it. I think for a bunch of Tattle Bastards, those threads are full of caring, compassionate people who would support anyone in their quest for self-care. Jack Monroe is triggering on so many levels! I certainly haven’t ignored you, I get a lot of from your posts.

I had a nap on Saturday instead of reading my book

 

[heresmycode10]

Sounds like your mum is abusive and manipulative and plays the helpless woman. Good for you for drawing a line and setting boundaries. She should consider herself lucky you even give her the time of day. Keep looking out for yourself.

Anyone else having a crap Christmas and it hasn't even started yet? I am having a rough time with my health. My TSH level is high, was supposed to have a phone appointment with the nurse practitioner. Receptionist tells me 12:30ish, fine. No call all day and I was busy working because some of us don't have the luxury of a salary. I see the receptionist left a message that it might be earlier because people cancelled and one missed call. I had my phone in front of me all day! Who knows if she has sent a new levo script to my pharmacy and with my thyroid out of whack, so goes my mood and I am tired and feel like shit. An added bonus, the extended family nonsense it is just one thing after another.

Yes, me. I don’t really enjoy Christmas anymore and I still find that hard to accept. Also have thyroid issues currently (higher dose needed) and having to wait until after Xmas period to get this is stressful - it affects my mood SO much - whilst dealing with difficult family relations. It’s a lot! You are very much not alone Sending hugs and love to everyone struggling.

 

[Agent Cooper]

I have some good news (I guess): I was finally able to get through and book an appointment with a therapist. It won’t be until July and I will have to call in a couple of weeks to confirm, but that’s at least something.

I’m sorry I can’t help much further @Quarrantinemadness, but I think Pollyanna has already given you some terrific advice and reassurance. Please try to be kind to yourself during this stressful time and I hope you find a way to resolve the problem ASAP. Good luck with your OH assessment! 🤍

 

[barmcake]

Being pregnant and having a baby is a massive life event. Your body changes and your emotions are everywhere. This can be completely overwhelming. A lot of pregnant women feel the same and I would talk it over with someone.

'I am currently 6 months pregnant and I am finding it very hard'

 

[Ilovegin111]

Hi everyone,
I stumbled across this thread today and I’m so glad I did. What a lovely, supportive and empathetic bunch of people.
I’m very nervous about posting but today is a struggle to shift the dark clouds. I’ve been off sertraline for about a year now and have been just about managing to navigate when anxiety and low moods creep in but recently things have taken a turn.
I am fortunate to work with a group of therapists (I’m not one myself) and am starting to work through some issues. My little boy has just started pre school and it’s meant that my inability to cope with change/transition has reared up. This has caused me to worry and obsess to try and regain control (this time over my teeth).
I am questioning whether to go back on the sertraline for the anxiety.
thanks for reading

 

[Pollyanna263]

It’s so hard isn’t it. I try to keep ontop of things - especially in the current climate, but once I’m lost in my own thoughts it’s a case of F it, I don’t care, it’s never stuff for me either! Always on others.

Same. Last time was a trampoline for the kids. Then late last night I ordered a climbing frame that I really can’t afford

 

[Penguin86]

i know it’s the wrong thread but it did distract me from my depression anxiety episode I’m in.

I’m currently in a depressive episode that is intensified by anxiety. I felt like this 2 years ago before I got signed off for two weeks

i feel like I’ve got a heavy weight on my chest and everything is hard. And life is stressing me out- 31, single, hardly any friends. It’s not good for me.

Im just having one of those days
I'm mid 30s, single and have barely any friends. I've become content with that though

 

[flutternutter]

Day one on sertraline, any tips welcome

Just hang on in there. I started on 50mg and my first 2 weeks were awful. I was anxious. I couldnt sleep. Then i slept too much. All while sweating profusely. I had night terrors. I felt insane!

 

[rainbowlemon]

This is the first Christmas I'm not excited, because I'm missing someone that isn't here anymore. I used to adore Christmas and never understood the people who hated it, but now I get that it might be coming from a place of grief or sadness. No need to be talking about bricking windows though

I started a similar thread. It just reminds me of what I don’t have.

 

[Pollyanna263]

I hope everyone is doing as ok as can be?

I’m really struggling at the moment, have been crying for a lot of the day and finding everyday things really hard.

I hate having to wait to get help, I still don’t know when it will be. I don’t need any advice or anything, I just need to get it off my chest.

I‘m so done with feeling this way, I’m a naturally happy person, but I just can’t get myself back to being that way without some real help.

Sending you love
Keep talking to us x

 

[Pollyanna263]

Am having a bad time at the mo, but don't feel like I can chat in here, I really don't want flippant responses, sending to you guys who need it x

Hi lovely, I’m happy to read and reply if you feel able to share xx

 

[Pollyanna263]

Pollyanna , Just reading you're post and I'm currently weaning myself off venlaflaxine too, but by 75mg each week...I\m actually wrecked tired though so have to assume its all of this. 75mg starting today and next week 37.5 and then add in zyban . I wonder is this all too fast

Way too fast!

My GP told me to do 75mg each time, every couple of weeks, but then I saw my Psych a couple of days later and he said don’t even think about it, that’s disastrous. He’s adamant that I can’t go any faster than this or the withdrawal will be too awful.

I’m exhausted. I keep falling asleep in the day. Nausea, headaches.

Can you slow down your plan?

 

[Quarrantinemadness]

Lots of questions from me as my mindset about work had changed massively while I’ve been signed off.

You can absolutely answer these here, or you can absolutely just think about them (or ignore them if it’s overwhelming - that’s not my intention!)


Have you always found your job stressful, or is it a recent change?

If it’s a change - when? Can you pinpoint what else was going on in life, or what happened at work to make it feel different?

If always - you know it’s not likely to change, and that is hard to accept x

Are you work understanding, would you feel comfortable approaching them to discuss a flexible schedule (if possible) so you do part of the week from home, or you condense your hours into 4 longer days and have 3 off?

Think about your salary now, and your income/outgoings.
Can you cut back on anything? Even little things (expensive haircuts / make up / wine / takeaway coffee) all add up so quickly.

Are you able to explore a mortgage holiday, to give yourself some breathing space to save a few months’ buffer?

Do you have a spare room that you could let? Maybe on a Monday night - Friday morning basis for someone working locally so you have the house to yourself at the weekends.

Salaries are all relative to our own perception, and hugely influenced by geographical area. For example my salary is £4K more than my friend but I’m in Hampshire in she’s in the midlands and so she has far lower outgoings than I do!

It’s not easy to just up and leave an area, especially when your mental health isn’t feeling strong. Even if you don’t have support around you, feeling familiar with your surroundings is a big deal.

Sorry, I realise I haven’t helped at all
Just know that work is not as important as your well-being, and it took me reaching breaking point to realise that. No one should get to that point xx



Just seen this after I replied.

I had an OH assessment for MH, no physical disability. I was so anxious beforehand and convinced myself they were going to say I was faking / fine / should be at work…. Which of course I wasn’t! But irrational brain!

Anyway - just to reassure you that the OH doctor was WONDERFUL. So kind, asked only what she needed to, really listened, was totally understanding of a couple of things I was unable to answer (because I couldn’t get the words out).

It’s worrying but they are brilliant so I’m sure your assessment will be okay

That really is helpful thank you!
I’ve been so worried about the OH thing. My work haven’t been understanding at all to my situation, had a bit of a breakdown earlier in the year and now got the disability to deal with so it’s been really hard. I’ve probably felt like this since Christmas. I have no confidence anymore in my work because of how I’ve been made to feel being off. I’ve been made to feel like the OH is a bad thing for me so I’ve been stressed about it a lot. My direct boss is desperate for me to say I’m not fit for work, but I am, I just need some understanding that when I have a flare up I literally cannot leave the house Xx

 

[Jotham]

I thought I could start with a self-help book, yet I don’t think a book would help me much at this points. Any thoughts?

My therapist suggested to me The Worry Cure, I found it helpful but it's mostly for dealing with anxiety. He also had me do exercises for Mind Over Mood by Greenberger and the Feeling Good Handbook by Burns. They can be pretty lengthy but they have helpful sections about depression.