The Depression Thread #2

[Maid22]

Thank you

I’m here, and I’m reading. I desperately want to reply to so many posts, but I just don’t have the words. I feel awful because my natural instinct is to try and bring comfort, but I’m drowning right now and I can’t find the words.

Lots going on here. Dredging up so many things in therapy, sort of accidentally skipped from the birth trauma to my last relationship which ended when I fell pregnant - which I am now coming to see was with a very controlling narcissist who was in fact controlling to the point of abuse. Not physically, but emotionally, and in terms of always knowing where I was and who with for every day of the years we were together, while he was off doing exactly what he pleased. Seeing it all with clarity has hit me hard, while trying to deal with him for access over my youngest has floored me.

In amongst all that, Psych paused my venlafaxine withdrawal as it was just hideous. Re-starting now so

Just need a couple of weeks alone in a nice beach house somewhere…. If only!!

So sorry hunny to read that, I've been having a crap time, but my oh is off next weekend, I'm lucky he's lovely, but I can't wait to be on my own!
Haven't got a beach house but you'd be more than welcome here!

 

[Eeyore147]

Just checking in

Just checking in with you too hope you’re doing ok.

I’ve had a Psych review the other week and usual CPN review this week. Just day by day xx

I spoke to my GP yesterday. She was really lovely and supportive and is going to change my antidepressants. Not sure if we're allowed to mention medications here, but I have to do 3 weeks on a half dose of what I'm on now, then switch to the new medication.

Everything crossed they work for you

 

[comment on life]

Okay, I started on 15 and was up to 45 so 7.5 is a gentle start, hopefully that will be okay for you.

I’m not certain. I just found myself eating all the time! It sounds ridiculous but I would walk into the kitchen and then I’d have food in my hand… So I think a bit of both contributed.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I really appreciate it
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No tablet of that nature will in and of itself cause you to spontaneously gain fat. It may increase your appetite, and have you reaching for more food than you would usually eat. Or it may make you feel drowsy and therefore less active. But it may also make you feel better able to get out of bed in the morning and be more active. Or feel more brighter and more motivated to make better food choices etc.

I started back on lexapro in January. I thought I would die for the first few weeks, the side effects were brutal. My anxiety was the worst it’s ever been, I was living in a constant state of fear, couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t sleep at all and every day was a living nightmare. I’ll never forget it. I didn’t think I’d survive it. And I was already low starting the meds. But it passed. Almost like magic. After two weeks. And now I don’t notice anything. Except life feels a little more tolerable than before the meds. I hope that helps a bit. That side effects can be brutal and still be fleeting. If I knew then that an end was in sight, it would have been such a comfort.

I took Lexapro for a few years and found it made life more manageable. Came off it when things were going good. Then tried to go back on it last Summer. The side effects were horrendous. By day 3 I was crying down the phone to the GP. I actually couldnt cope at all. The anxiety on an ongoing basis felt more manageable than 2 weeks of feeling like that. Well done for getting through it

 

[Eeyore147]

Mirtrazapine makes me crave sugar like crazy!! But it does help me sleep. Usually.... (She says, looking at her watch ) I've definitely gained weight since going on it. I'm also on Duloxetine, which makes you lose weight initially but then makes you gain it after you've been on it a while. And I've been on it a WHILE, lol.

Another Duloxetine here . I’ve been on that a fair few years, plus Agomelatine. Yes Mirtazapine was good for sleep, but I couldn’t cope with the munchies. Hope you managed some sleep. x

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

Thank you so so much! I was too afraid to start it last night so tonight will be night 1. You are absolutely right. I never thought about it like that. People rarely go to the bother of writing a review to rave about a product. That's a really helpful insight and I will keep that in mind

Taking the first one is always hard. Once you’ve done that, it doesn’t feel so scary

 

[Agent Cooper]

Hope everyone is okay and having a relaxing Sunday 🤍

Does anyone have any tips for dealing with anhedonia? I’m more or less okay at work, but when I am off work/school, I just don’t know what to do with my free time because nothing brings me joy anymore. I try to make myself do stuff I used to enjoy but it’s quite pointless.

 

[Maid22]

I've been on and off medication and I really don't want to take it but I think I'm at a point where I need it back.

I've had Sertraline/Fluoexetine and didn't like either of those. Escitalopram I think was OK but just wondering what else I could maybe suggest?

I really don't know, ads are abit of a minefield, took me ages before I got one which helped me x

 

[candyland_]

I’m having a rough day.

it’s been such a horrible year for me. Painful breakup, chronic illness, fractured ankle all sorts. Then my best friend of 15 years and I have an extremely minor disagreement and she has now decided to completely cut me out, and blocked me on every single platform.

last night I had an evening with my family who insisted on talking about how amazing my cousin is with his new gorgeous girlfriend and all the holidays and social events he has. I have nothing now and I feel so low.

sorry I needed people to talk to x

I’m sorry to hear this. Do you have anyone else to support you?
I felt similar just a week or so ago, I had to listen to everyone around me gushing over their new babies, weddings, new dream houses, moving in with partners etc and I too felt knocked down so I focused on what I do have and it has kicked me up the arse to make my own changes. While I am happy for them I have had to distance for my own mental health and I feel better for it.

 

[Maid22]

Don't know where to start tbh, I had a good week for me last week, then it went tits up over the weekend, I've ended up staying in the bed today, apart from taking my dog out, it's no wonder I'm a pessimist, something always bite you in the arse.

 

[Agent Cooper]

Love that there’s two Twin Peaks profiles on this thread

I know you haven’t changed your hair and I’ve seen that beautiful dress before, but I must say Diane, you look sensational today!



Jokes aside, those of you who struggle with panic attacks, don’t despair! I used to struggle with PA a lot, especially as a teenager, but now I only get them 1-2 times a year at worst. I’m not sure if it’s hormonal and I’m not saying I don’t have other issues, but that’s my experience.

 

[Carapop]

Thank you for your kind words. As for treatment, it’s been a bit of a nightmare. Tried anti depressants, just made me sleep all the time and feel numb to everything. Doc adjusted the dose and still wasn’t affective. So came off them. Then tried CBT which was an utter disaster and if anything just made everything worse. Basically therapist told me I was “silly” and “immature” for thinking the way I do.

So I stopped going after that and since then I’ve just been floating along trying to manage it myself. Sone days better than others. I’ve been considering going back to the gp as I’ve got to do something but I’m a bit scared to considering nothing worked for me before.

to all of you for your support, I feel better having put it into words. I’m going to see what I can manage over the weekend and then reassess on Monday evening if I am going to upload it or not.

On the meds front, I’d advise you keep trying. I’m afraid it can be a lot of trial and error. Getting through the initial few weeks of the worst side effects. Giving them a chance to work and seeing if they help more than they hurt. And going back to the start with another medication if not. I’ve been on and off lexapro for years. when I’m taking them I don’t think they’re doing much, but when I come off them I can barely survive. It’s so hard and I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Keep trying. As long as there are things to try, there’s hope of improvement.

 

[FlipFlop0706]

I just tonight accepted I need help
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I'm so scared I don't no where to start

Big hug. There’s so many of us here who have gone through the same process, you are not alone. Get an emergency appointment at the GP. I was terrified too about asking for help, but my GP was so supportive and I only wish I had gone sooner. X

 

[ilovepizza21]

Your son needs to be reported to the police. This won’t get any better. It will get worse. What’s next - him beating his sister? Abusing a girlfriend?

Not really a helpful comment tbh and I have thanks....

Am having a bad time at the mo, but don't feel like I can chat in here, I really don't want flippant responses, sending to you guys who need it x

I know how you feel with regards to this... I think I just stick to keeping things bottled. Sending you hugs x

 

[The Devils Arse]

Just a brief note re anti depressants and weight gain. Some people actually lose weight because of them. If you use food as a source of comfort when you’re sad, then taking a medication that makes you less sad will make you less reliant on the comforting calories.

there are many different medications used to treat depression and anxiety and they all have their own different side effects and even those can hugely differ between different people. It may be a lot of trial and error initially to find what works for you but that’s ok. As long as you’re prepared for that and don’t get disillusioned if the first one isn’t the best one for you. Look at it like dating, you might have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince/princess

also, depression can come in many guises, I’m sorry you’re struggling but it’s amazing that you have someone who knows what to look for and is offering such support and advice

Thank you for your lovely words.
The dating approach is a perfect explanation!

 

[Minipizza]

Hello, so glad I found this thread as I need people that will understand.

a week ago now I had my meds changed from citalopram(which id been on since 2018) to Mirtazapine, and I honesty feel awful, I could literally just cry all day, I hate everyone pretty much and I just feel so irritated and on edge, I could just scream and scream, I know it’s only been a week so of course I’ve got to give it longer but fuck me it’s hard, things that don’t normally bother me are pissing me off big time. and I get bouts where I just wanna I don’t think there’s much talk around how changing your beds affects you, please tell me it gets better

 

[Ray_of_Sunshine]

I’m under the care of the Community Mental Health Recovery Service (CMHRS) at the moment and thought I was only going in yesterday for a review of my meds (I almost didn’t bother going!) but then ended up seeing the Psychiatrist who just happened to be free as I was in with another doctor. She brought him into the room I feel quite bewildered if I’m honest. I knew there was more to it and I was misdiagnosed perhaps but now suddenly I have a diagnosis and am starting yet more medication. I’m feeling scared.

This all sounds very rushed... Especially if you have never met this psychiatrist before. To diagnose you with something on the basis of one meeting ....... Mental health conditions are complicated as we all know. If you have been dealing with a therapist on an ongoing basis it would be a good idea to discuss and get a second opinion I think.
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Sorry - I was replying to this with my earlier message
[/QUOTE]
Yeah as I’m sat here right now I’m not feeling 100% reassured or confident but I don’t know if that’s just part of the dark mood I’m in right now. It did feel like a whirlwind Monday. I feel quite overwhelmed and alone. I think the guy that came in to see me is one of the head honchos of the unit. They have meetings all of the time to discuss us patients. I know this because I’ve been told it multiple times before. So I like to think he knows of me. They have my extensive medical history there i’m guessing as they know things that have happened with me before I even came to their unit. So yeah it seems rushed in a sense but then at the same time it doesn’t for me because I’ve been suffering for years and years and I’m really burned out and exhausted now and don’t know how much more I can take. I’ll have to see how it all goes going forward. I started the Lamotrigine last night alongside my Mirtazapine. I’m going to write down my thoughts and questions I think and put it to them next time I go back - my mind went blank Monday. The second opinion seems like a good shout.

I don’t tend to google symptoms as it can make you jump to conclusions and even more confused but looking up bipolar 2 there are a lot of things that make sense

 

[Eeyore147]

Yeah I do this too. I usually put on something I’ve seen before so I don’t have to concentrate on it

Exactly this. Something that I can doze too and still know exactly what’s going on.

 

[Quarrantinemadness]

I’m after some advice on how to take time off work for depression. My work in particular really exacerbates my depression and it’s got to the point where I can’t even get up in the morning and come into the office. I’ve called in sick for a single day, but I know I need at least a week to sort myself out. I know you can technically call in sick for 7 days before you need a doctors note, but I’d almost prefer having one so I don’t have to do that because I feel embarrassed. I did tell all this to my GP but he just said unless it’s more than 7 days I need off, just to call in like I would with a physical illness. Have any of you simply told your work you’re struggling with mental health and will be off for a few days?

Yes, but also I’ve told my doctor how awkward my work are and that I needed signing off from the get go, they’ve always provided me a note in that situation. Or you could ring work and tell them you need to take sick leave for the week due to your MH, and make it clear you won’t be ringing them every single day. Having to do that will just make you feel worse in my experience. If they insist you need to ring everyday tell them you’ll ring your GP for a note as that’s putting you under stress that you don’t need xx

 

[Fanny Muchmore]

I've been weaning myself off my Duloxetine in order to start taking the Zoloft that my GP has prescribed me... I was supposed to start taking it on Thursday but I decided to give myself one last week on Duloxetine (that way my prescription ordering won't be out of whack, and I'll be ordering my Zoloft the same time as my other meds).

Thing is... I'm scared to start taking it. I've been told that things get worse before they get better. I've been warned about the side effects.

And weirdly, I've been feeling BETTER on the half dose of Duloxetine than I did on the full dose... I don't know what to do.

 

[Dogtanian]

I’m on 50mg sertraline/day and I’ve been on them for 2 weeks now. I don’t feel any huge benefit yet but maybe things are getting better a little.
I haven’t burst into tears in any meetings this week (and I did just before I went onto them).
The sexual side effects are a pain though, don’t know what to do about them.