The Depression Thread #2

[Pollyanna263]

Just need a rant sorry
I’m feel so low, I hate my job and the type of work I do, I find it so stressful and I dread every day.
My problem is I’m on my own with a mortgage so I can’t afford to leave and get any job, I’d need at least the salary I’m already on.
I feel so stuck. If it wasn’t for my cats I don’t think I’d be here. I don’t see any way out. I feel so lost.
Thanks for listening xx

Lots of questions from me as my mindset about work had changed massively while I’ve been signed off.

You can absolutely answer these here, or you can absolutely just think about them (or ignore them if it’s overwhelming - that’s not my intention!)


Have you always found your job stressful, or is it a recent change?

If it’s a change - when? Can you pinpoint what else was going on in life, or what happened at work to make it feel different?

If always - you know it’s not likely to change, and that is hard to accept x

Are you work understanding, would you feel comfortable approaching them to discuss a flexible schedule (if possible) so you do part of the week from home, or you condense your hours into 4 longer days and have 3 off?

Think about your salary now, and your income/outgoings.
Can you cut back on anything? Even little things (expensive haircuts / make up / wine / takeaway coffee) all add up so quickly.

Are you able to explore a mortgage holiday, to give yourself some breathing space to save a few months’ buffer?

Do you have a spare room that you could let? Maybe on a Monday night - Friday morning basis for someone working locally so you have the house to yourself at the weekends.

Salaries are all relative to our own perception, and hugely influenced by geographical area. For example my salary is £4K more than my friend but I’m in Hampshire in she’s in the midlands and so she has far lower outgoings than I do!

It’s not easy to just up and leave an area, especially when your mental health isn’t feeling strong. Even if you don’t have support around you, feeling familiar with your surroundings is a big deal.

Sorry, I realise I haven’t helped at all
Just know that work is not as important as your well-being, and it took me reaching breaking point to realise that. No one should get to that point xx

Currently waiting on an OH assessment

Just seen this after I replied.

I had an OH assessment for MH, no physical disability. I was so anxious beforehand and convinced myself they were going to say I was faking / fine / should be at work…. Which of course I wasn’t! But irrational brain!

Anyway - just to reassure you that the OH doctor was WONDERFUL. So kind, asked only what she needed to, really listened, was totally understanding of a couple of things I was unable to answer (because I couldn’t get the words out).

It’s worrying but they are brilliant so I’m sure your assessment will be okay

 

[Quarrantinemadness]

Lots of questions from me as my mindset about work had changed massively while I’ve been signed off.

You can absolutely answer these here, or you can absolutely just think about them (or ignore them if it’s overwhelming - that’s not my intention!)


Have you always found your job stressful, or is it a recent change?

If it’s a change - when? Can you pinpoint what else was going on in life, or what happened at work to make it feel different?

If always - you know it’s not likely to change, and that is hard to accept x

Are you work understanding, would you feel comfortable approaching them to discuss a flexible schedule (if possible) so you do part of the week from home, or you condense your hours into 4 longer days and have 3 off?

Think about your salary now, and your income/outgoings.
Can you cut back on anything? Even little things (expensive haircuts / make up / wine / takeaway coffee) all add up so quickly.

Are you able to explore a mortgage holiday, to give yourself some breathing space to save a few months’ buffer?

Do you have a spare room that you could let? Maybe on a Monday night - Friday morning basis for someone working locally so you have the house to yourself at the weekends.

Salaries are all relative to our own perception, and hugely influenced by geographical area. For example my salary is £4K more than my friend but I’m in Hampshire in she’s in the midlands and so she has far lower outgoings than I do!

It’s not easy to just up and leave an area, especially when your mental health isn’t feeling strong. Even if you don’t have support around you, feeling familiar with your surroundings is a big deal.

Sorry, I realise I haven’t helped at all
Just know that work is not as important as your well-being, and it took me reaching breaking point to realise that. No one should get to that point xx



Just seen this after I replied.

I had an OH assessment for MH, no physical disability. I was so anxious beforehand and convinced myself they were going to say I was faking / fine / should be at work…. Which of course I wasn’t! But irrational brain!

Anyway - just to reassure you that the OH doctor was WONDERFUL. So kind, asked only what she needed to, really listened, was totally understanding of a couple of things I was unable to answer (because I couldn’t get the words out).

It’s worrying but they are brilliant so I’m sure your assessment will be okay

That really is helpful thank you!
I’ve been so worried about the OH thing. My work haven’t been understanding at all to my situation, had a bit of a breakdown earlier in the year and now got the disability to deal with so it’s been really hard. I’ve probably felt like this since Christmas. I have no confidence anymore in my work because of how I’ve been made to feel being off. I’ve been made to feel like the OH is a bad thing for me so I’ve been stressed about it a lot. My direct boss is desperate for me to say I’m not fit for work, but I am, I just need some understanding that when I have a flare up I literally cannot leave the house Xx

 

[Pollyanna263]

That really is helpful thank you!
I’ve been so worried about the OH thing. My work haven’t been understanding at all to my situation, had a bit of a breakdown earlier in the year and now got the disability to deal with so it’s been really hard. I’ve probably felt like this since Christmas. I have no confidence anymore in my work because of how I’ve been made to feel being off. I’ve been made to feel like the OH is a bad thing for me so I’ve been stressed about it a lot. My direct boss is desperate for me to say I’m not fit for work, but I am, I just need some understanding that when I have a flare up I literally cannot leave the house Xx

I felt the same about OH. That’s why I was hoping to reassure you

I had been signed off by my GP, and had been off for a while. I was (am) medicated and having weekly therapy and also seen a psychiatrist who formally diagnosed PTSD and depression and said under no circumstances could I go back to work without his and GP agreement.

Work were pushing for me to go back, and told me I needed to speak with OH ‘to discuss a phased return’ so I was terrified. I actually ignored the first call. I just couldn’t answer.

What I’d forgotten is that OH don’t work for my employer. They are completely unbiased medical professionals, who know nothing about you or your boss or your job beyond the basics on the referral, and they just take the time to talk to you.

Honestly that call helped me so much. It lvalidated many, many things for me and took away a huge amount of guilt I’d been feeling about being off work.
She wrote in her assessment that I was not to return, unless my GP and Psych were both comfortable, and then and only then should I speak with OH again. She told work that I shouldn’t have been made to do the call in the first place.

So please, try not to worry. I know that’s not easy. Our brains tell us all sorts of things and they’re hard to ignore.

OH are there to help. You will be okay

 

[Quarrantinemadness]

I felt the same about OH. That’s why I was hoping to reassure you

I had been signed off by my GP, and had been off for a while. I was (am) medicated and having weekly therapy and also seen a psychiatrist who formally diagnosed PTSD and depression and said under no circumstances could I go back to work without his and GP agreement.

Work were pushing for me to go back, and told me I needed to speak with OH ‘to discuss a phased return’ so I was terrified. I actually ignored the first call. I just couldn’t answer.

What I’d forgotten is that OH don’t work for my employer. They are completely unbiased medical professionals, who know nothing about you or your boss or your job beyond the basics on the referral, and they just take the time to talk to you.

Honestly that call helped me so much. It lvalidated many, many things for me and took away a huge amount of guilt I’d been feeling about being off work.
She wrote in her assessment that I was not to return, unless my GP and Psych were both comfortable, and then and only then should I speak with OH again. She told work that I shouldn’t have been made to do the call in the first place.

So please, try not to worry. I know that’s not easy. Our brains tell us all sorts of things and they’re hard to ignore.

OH are there to help. You will be okay

Thank you this has given me so much reassurance, and so glad that they were helpful to you.
I don’t understand how people in the workplace just don’t care about their staff. I suppose it’s only money they care about at the end of the day, but it really isn’t fair to make people feel bad for being genuinely ill xx

 

[Agent Cooper]

I have some good news (I guess): I was finally able to get through and book an appointment with a therapist. It won’t be until July and I will have to call in a couple of weeks to confirm, but that’s at least something.

I’m sorry I can’t help much further @Quarrantinemadness, but I think Pollyanna has already given you some terrific advice and reassurance. Please try to be kind to yourself during this stressful time and I hope you find a way to resolve the problem ASAP. Good luck with your OH assessment! 🤍

 

[ilovepizza21]

Been for the dog’s post-op check. Vet has had the lab results - no tumour!!

Such a relief.

Yay so happy for you Polly hopefully no more ops for you to go through either xx

Just need a rant sorry
I’m feel so low, I hate my job and the type of work I do, I find it so stressful and I dread every day.
My problem is I’m on my own with a mortgage so I can’t afford to leave and get any job, I’d need at least the salary I’m already on.
I feel so stuck. If it wasn’t for my cats I don’t think I’d be here. I don’t see any way out. I feel so lost.
Thanks for listening xx

I've been here I'm still here fighting some days im fighting alot. You've got this can you not look for another job why still staying at your current? Sending hugs 🫂 x

 

[Pollyanna263]

Struggling here.

On a very gradual venlafaxine withdrawal, dropping by 37.5mg every 4 weeks. Yesterday was the second drop, I was hoping it would be easier than last month but it’s not.

I feel physically awful and I know it’s the withdrawal but I wish I could just fall asleep for a few days and wake up with it out of my system.

Mentally not in a great place either. Nothing in particular, just everything feeling hard, you know? Can’t find the positives in anything.

Littlest child going through a massive separation anxiety phase too which is lovely because it cements our attachment, but it also feels smothering when I’m all he wants.

 

[Squittel]

Struggling here.

On a very gradual venlafaxine withdrawal, dropping by 37.5mg every 4 weeks. Yesterday was the second drop, I was hoping it would be easier than last month but it’s not.

I feel physically awful and I know it’s the withdrawal but I wish I could just fall asleep for a few days and wake up with it out of my system.

Mentally not in a great place either. Nothing in particular, just everything feeling hard, you know? Can’t find the positives in anything.

Littlest child going through a massive separation anxiety phase too which is lovely because it cements our attachment, but it also feels smothering when I’m all he wants.

I’ve been there and I feel you! I promise it gets better. When I eventually was fully off it it was like a cloud lifted, I felt more awake and alert. Are you going onto a small dose of anything else? I found a small dose of Prozac helped to keep the Venlafaxine demons at bay.

 

[Pollyanna263]

I’ve been there and I feel you! I promise it gets better. When I eventually was fully off it it was like a cloud lifted, I felt more awake and alert. Are you going onto a small dose of anything else? I found a small dose of Prozac helped to keep the Venlafaxine demons at bay.

thank you so much, that’s really reassuring.

I’m weaning off to swap to Amitriptyline which my psychiatrist hopes will stop the totally detached / dissociated state I’m in from the Ven. He wants me to get to 75mg Ven before he’ll start the Amitrip.

Along with the Ven I was taking Quetiapine morning and night which I’m continuing, but that’s doing nothing to help with the side effects of the withdrawal.

 

[ilovepizza21]

Struggling here.

On a very gradual venlafaxine withdrawal, dropping by 37.5mg every 4 weeks. Yesterday was the second drop, I was hoping it would be easier than last month but it’s not.

I feel physically awful and I know it’s the withdrawal but I wish I could just fall asleep for a few days and wake up with it out of my system.

Mentally not in a great place either. Nothing in particular, just everything feeling hard, you know? Can’t find the positives in anything.

Littlest child going through a massive separation anxiety phase too which is lovely because it cements our attachment, but it also feels smothering when I’m all he wants.

Sending you massive Hugs Polly remember your stronger then you think and with the meds decreased it will get worse b4 it gets better and always remember this feeling doesn't last (easier said then done i know). try and do one little thing a day that makes you feel you've achieved something even if that one thing is drinking a hot tea or having a piss in peace. You've got this you beautiful human 🫂

But I get how you feel I'm the same last night I sat there last night with a bottle of vodka and aload of pills I just felt I'm better not here (I know I'm not) I'm not sleeping, I just feel exhausted and so weak I was in a good place then bam I think of something or someone will say something. And I feel I'm back in the gutter. I wish my good days last more then my bad days I feel there is no give up. I did what you said and bought some flowers it didn't help as much as I hoped though. (Sorry for the rant)

Hope all you lovely people are doing okay sending love and hugs too you all 🫂

 

[Pollyanna263]

Sending you massive Hugs Polly remember your stronger then you think and with the meds decreased it will get worse b4 it gets better and always remember this feeling doesn't last (easier said then done i know). try and do one little thing a day that makes you feel you've achieved something even if that one thing is drinking a hot tea or having a piss in peace. You've got this you beautiful human 🫂

But I get how you feel I'm the same last night I sat there last night with a bottle of vodka and aload of pills I just felt I'm better not here (I know I'm not) I'm not sleeping, I just feel exhausted and so weak I was in a good place then bam I think of something or someone will say something. And I feel I'm back in the gutter. I wish my good days last more then my bad days I feel there is no give up. I did what you said and bought some flowers it didn't help as much as I hoped though. (Sorry for the rant)

Hope all you lovely people are doing okay sending love and hugs too you all 🫂

Oh my love. Last night must have been impossible. I am so glad you are here today to write that post. xxx

Edit to add this in case it helps you feel a little less alone xxx

Spoiler: poem

 

[Penguin86]

We had a Budgie called Max but his full name was Maximus Decimus Meridius after Russell Crowe's character in Gladiator

We had a Budgie called Max but his full name was Maximus Decimus Meridius after Russell Crowe's character in Gladiator

Wrong thread can someone report it haha

 

[boomska]

We had a Budgie called Max but his full name was Maximus Decimus Meridius after Russell Crowe's character in Gladiator


Wrong thread can someone report it haha

i know it’s the wrong thread but it did distract me from my depression anxiety episode I’m in.

I’m currently in a depressive episode that is intensified by anxiety. I felt like this 2 years ago before I got signed off for two weeks

i feel like I’ve got a heavy weight on my chest and everything is hard. And life is stressing me out- 31, single, hardly any friends. It’s not good for me.

 

[Penguin86]

i know it’s the wrong thread but it did distract me from my depression anxiety episode I’m in.

I’m currently in a depressive episode that is intensified by anxiety. I felt like this 2 years ago before I got signed off for two weeks

i feel like I’ve got a heavy weight on my chest and everything is hard. And life is stressing me out- 31, single, hardly any friends. It’s not good for me.

Im just having one of those days
I'm mid 30s, single and have barely any friends. I've become content with that though

 

[boomska]

Im just having one of those days
I'm mid 30s, single and have barely any friends. I've become content with that though

How did you come content with it? X

 

[Fanny Muchmore]

Im just having one of those days
I'm mid 30s, single and have barely any friends. I've become content with that though

Sometimes friends aren't all they're cracked up to be. For a few years I had a large group of friends, we all hung out together and did stuff as a group. But then petty squabbles and infighting between the people in the group started and now I hardly see anyone out of that group. I have my best friend and I occasionally see a couple of people from the group separately for lunch or whatever. But I'm so tired of hearing about who's fighting with who, who's fallen out with who, over the most inane things. And some of the group fell out with me for reasons I've yet to fully understand.

Find yourself one good ride or die person and that's all you really need. Makes things MUCH easier.

 

[lemonlavender]

thank you so much, that’s really reassuring.

I’m weaning off to swap to Amitriptyline which my psychiatrist hopes will stop the totally detached / dissociated state I’m in from the Ven. He wants me to get to 75mg Ven before he’ll start the Amitrip.

Along with the Ven I was taking Quetiapine morning and night which I’m continuing, but that’s doing nothing to help with the side effects of the withdrawal.

Pollyanna , Just reading you're post and I'm currently weaning myself off venlaflaxine too, but by 75mg each week...I\m actually wrecked tired though so have to assume its all of this. 75mg starting today and next week 37.5 and then add in zyban . I wonder is this all too fast

 

[Pollyanna263]

Pollyanna , Just reading you're post and I'm currently weaning myself off venlaflaxine too, but by 75mg each week...I\m actually wrecked tired though so have to assume its all of this. 75mg starting today and next week 37.5 and then add in zyban . I wonder is this all too fast

Way too fast!

My GP told me to do 75mg each time, every couple of weeks, but then I saw my Psych a couple of days later and he said don’t even think about it, that’s disastrous. He’s adamant that I can’t go any faster than this or the withdrawal will be too awful.

I’m exhausted. I keep falling asleep in the day. Nausea, headaches.

Can you slow down your plan?

 

[ilovepizza21]

Oh my love. Last night must have been impossible. I am so glad you are here today to write that post. xxx

Edit to add this in case it helps you feel a little less alone xxx

Spoiler: poem

Thankyou beautiful I hope your doing okay didn't want my reply to you come across as I was thinking of just myself xxx

 

[lemonlavender]

Way too fast!

My GP told me to do 75mg each time, every couple of weeks, but then I saw my Psych a couple of days later and he said don’t even think about it, that’s disastrous. He’s adamant that I can’t go any faster than this or the withdrawal will be too awful.

I’m exhausted. I keep falling asleep in the day. Nausea, headaches.

Can you slow down your plan?

Gosh, at this stage I guess I'm nearly there but it has been a tough few weeks alright. It was directed by my psychiatrist and a shock to my gp , ha ha. I'm going to the chemist tomorrow to get my 37.5 for next week and zyban . Thank you for replying !