The Chateau Diaries #96 The Oxymoron and the Ass

[nastynan13]

That Lalande dining room is, perhaps, the ugliest room ever conceived. I didn't know that Satan was an interior decorator.

It is not Satan my dear, it is a style known as "Early Dictator". Beloved by Dictators and Oligarchs the world over, it deploys an unique combination of colors, always Louis "the something" furniture mixed in with whatever may capture the new delights fancy, and LIBERAL deployment of gold on everything one can see. If you can work it into the bathrooms, bonus points for the designer. Swans, tigers and taxidermy in general also score points with the newest members of the club of the Dictators. Try to work in vertical stripes where possible, to them it will bring images of Napoleon himself, and bring great pride to dear leader. For references, please look to Sadam Hussain Palace, the homes of his charming sons Uday and Cusay Hussain, and Donald Trumps apartment at Trump Tower in NYC. This home is famous for its actual 1980's decor, liberal use of gold, and 8' ceilings in all of the apartments. HEY!! If it means you can squeeze in one more floor, why think about gracious living- am I right folks!! Now that you have the idea down, repeat this idea in their multiple homes around the world. I hope I have helped. Good luck & good night

 

[Sunnee]

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See how long this is up for. Julia's comment is still up.

And up again just for "chits and giggles"

 

[KyBourbon]

Florian is so sweet he just loves those socks.

Yes, he really liked the socks and you could see he appreciated them…it’s very endearing to see Florian find happiness in a simple pair of socks as compared to watching all the over-the-top crap at La La Lande.

 

[Madame No]

I am amazed that she gets away with these Patreon "updates" without more questions and criticisms. Nothing ever changes! Of course, it's great if Amoury and Dan do complete the downstairs loo. It's necessary if she continues to run the B & B and workshops, but in the grand scheme of renovating the chateau, it's just a miniscule part. A great deal of celebratory fuss will be made when it is finished but surely she needs to prove that progress is actually being achieved in other major areas. I still don't understand why so many projects are ongoing at the same time and why they can't just concentrate on one project at a time and get it finished. The heating thing is just plain ridiculous; there is no reason why she can't get that done. As has been mentioned, she could pay for that with one month's Patreon money. It really makes me wonder if she is sitting on so much money in her account or whether she has actually managed to get rid of/fritter away hundreds of thousands on other things. Patrons are never given any figures. If I had given money, I would insist on knowing what she has done with it. I know interest rates are low but if she is hoarding all that in the bank, she'll be getting a fair bit of interest as she's not using the money. It all seems extremely suspicious to me. With her lack of impulse control, I reckon she's quite capable of spending hundreds of thousands in a very short time, on travel and luxuries. If she has done that, she must surely be desperately worried that she'll be found out. It's also clear that the chapel restorer is never going to come back, now his trailer has broken down! He could borrow one or she could buy or rent one, that's easily solved. One wonders what the next disaster will be for him. He clearly does not want to do the job and may be regretting that he said he would not charge her.

She really needs to get rid of Selmar. He is definitely redundant. Amaury and Dan have demonstrated that they can achieve just about anything very rapidly. She should increase Dan's hours and employ him as a gardener/handyman, and possibly employ a separate expert Head Gardener. She will be paying Selmar for next to nothing if he is allowed to stay. Tatti may be useful as a cook but there are no guests in the winter and SJ and Nati should be able to cope without any volunteers at this time of year. She is wasting patrons' money if she continues to employ Selmar. What a complete shambles everything is; I really don't understand how she manages to get away with it all. She can have no shame at all!

I agree…she gets away with it because her patrons and subscribers let her. I’m convinced SJ has tapped into the same type of audience that contributes money to TV evangelists (the ones who live in huge mansions, drive expensive cars, wear expensive clothes and jewelry). People will give their last dollar to them, even though they can see their money is just enriching someone else’s lifestyle. And, if you try to call it out, they’ll defend them to the end. As long as SJ keeps up the facade of laughter and love, there will be people who fall for it…it’s like some kind of “religion” for them.

Spot on!

 

[Albee]

Not quite sure that Percy understands the severity of the situation in SA

Here in Ireland they are running a campaign

You got a vaccine
Please buy a vaccine for the nations that are without

SA is on the list -

No one is safe till everyone is safe

There are more than enough vaccines in SA. They are cancelling back orders due to lack of uptake. People are just not interested in getting the vax.

 

[Boohoo67]

What is bald Italian chef doing to the undercarriage of his Jack Russell dog?

 

[Perplexed bee]

Watching Amaury and Curtis talking in a normal way about hair issues, with no affectation, snorting or making wide-eyed stares at the camera, was a needed and deserved palate cleanser.

 

[Madame No]

Percy is a few fries short of a happy meal. Looks like IJ is getting very defensive. I wonder why?

I imagine Mommy Dearest is quite embarrassed about her middle-aged daughter having a public affair with the conniving houseboy and feels the need to protect her from stone throwers.

IJ once ran a nursing home. If anyone understands the dangers of viruses for the older population, it should be a nurse. Does she like her sister?

Look how many people in th

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*Cyprus - whoops

Oh and I forgot Phyllis and SJ are not long back from England - the hotspot of Omicron in Europe. Covid Soup

I'm surprised Armoire is allowed to drink beer out of a can and that Pony (love his new pet name) is allowed to wear a head covering at the dinner table. Standards certainly have slipped in more areas than just preventing the spread of covid. Armoire looks totally disengaged and bored with this crowd. I'm sure Pony's, and now Curtis's over the top swish must be annoying to say the least to a hetersexual male.

I imagine Mommy Dearest is quite embarrassed about her middle-aged daughter having a public affair with the conniving houseboy and feels the need to protect her from stone throwers.


Look how many people in th

I'm surprised Armoire is allowed to drink beer out of a can and that Pony (love his new pet name) is allowed to wear a head covering at the dinner table. Standards certainly have slipped in more areas than just preventing the spread of covid. Armoire looks totally disengaged and bored with this crowd. I'm sure Pony's, and now Curtis's over the top swish must be annoying to say the least.

 

[shatcho shiek]

Chocolategoggler, post: 7515075, member: 155337
[@Jeeves[/USER] thread number 61

My favourite - Bloody Tattlers they don't rattle

Honourable mentions
1) Remember it's not how you shake your moneymaker, it's how much you come home with
2) Does Gerald really wear that much flannel every day?
3) It looks like his mum boil washed his trousers
4) I hope her patrons start to realise they are raising a cuckoo
5) I could live in a small cottage if I didn't have to host all these friends

p.s. Jeeves I feel that you should be granted the choice of a wildcard if something dear to your heart is not chosen.


i hope someone can post the patreons video please. Heres my oversized christmas stocking because I am a villia owner in italy and not a relative so of course lets rationalize it with the colour of the decor as a decoy.

 

[Rose Cafe]

Not to defend anyone, but I've also been hearing that the Omicron variant is, although more contagious, it is exhibiting milder symptoms , which is usually how it goes. Isn't this what we want ...something eventually like the common cold? I don't understand why there is such commotion over the omicron variant unless something new has developed in the last 24 hrs? The thing is Delta is still running amock and we know how deadly it is, so should not the focus still be there? Omicron seems to be confusing everyone now.
Please inform me if I'm wrong about this. I just trying to understand.

I most definitely agree that travel is not the thing to be doing right now and a bunch of people from different countries coming together, needlessly, at the chateau seems pretty foolish, even if vaccinated, as that isn't a guarantee and most who have gotten the omicron are the vaccinated .

 

[bembazaan]

@Lady Avonlea, SJ owes you a big THANK YOU, for your suggestion.
Here are a few ideas to complete the festivities.
Sterling Silver Kentucky Fried Chicken Bucket Designed by Tiffany & Co for KFC is up for sale on Ebay for 5,000.00 U.S.
Blue Spode bucket if Tiffany & Co's is too pricey.
KFC fire logs, because it's cold inside.
KFC music to round out the day.
At least they will have perfume from the crackers to mask the smell.

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Listen up - if you cant afford all this KFC stuff, I have a 7single vynel record of a TUPPERWARE sing along, willing to donate

Jansson's temptation is spelt with an "o", in Swedish, unlike BJJ's name which has an "e. The potatoes are normally cut in much thinner strips than SJ's, as are the onions, and the dish is layered, i.e. a layer of potatoes, a layer of onions, a layer of sprats and the sprats and cream are not made into a sauce as she did, but after layering all the other ingredients, the cream is poured over the dish and breadcrumbs can be put over the top. That was an SJ or Thermomix version, not the original Swedish one! It was originally a Swedish peasant dish and is now often one of the hot dishes served with a smorgasbord. It's easy to make and very tasty. A lot of people use anchovies, as SJ did, because the Swedish word for sprats looks like the English "anchovies" but this actually translates as sprats, which she did mention. Sardines are probably more similar to sprats and can be used instead.
[/QUO

There are more than enough vaccines in SA. They are cancelling back orders due to lack of uptake. People are just not interested in getting the vax.

it is much more complicated here, than people not being interested. This is a country where people are killed for body parts to be used for tribal medicine. People are starving. They are more desperate to fill their bellies so as not to die from hunger, than they are afraid of a virus. Typical African country falling apart at the seams. If you want a short, daily non MSM news analysis link to a fearless young lawyer's you tube channel, that will give you insight, and unadulterated truth, I will post it, but do not want to be penalised for going off topic. I am not one of the wealthy living in a guarded gated community where real life does not affect one. I live from hand to mouth sewing sensory/fiddle mats for dementia sufferers, and live in a cheap falling apart, roof full of holes "chateau" so IMHO I think I am qualified to comment on this post. No offense intended. ( Smily face )

 

[AndAnotherName]

This was in the UK papers. Not looking good for Armoury's parents' visit. His mum is a French citizen though. They may get stranded there after Christmas. I wonder how Selmar and Titania will find a compelling reason to travel for New Year? Maybe the new chateau?

This is not good. So sad for everybody where Covid is running rampant. Feeling thankful to be living in Australia where it's sort of under control. But like one of our local doctors said this week, my state could have 50k infections within a months time and we don't have hospitals with capacity to care for existing illnesses let alone Covid. We have 3 cases as of today.

 

[Hemerocallis]

IJ once ran a nursing home. If anyone understands the dangers of viruses for the older population, it should be a nurse. Does she like her sister?

You would think so but many nurses and health workers are into homeopathy, Schuessler salts, Bach flowers, they hope for what they call "natural immunisation". I can't understand that either smh.

THE FIRST CHRISTMAS ARRIVALS!!!
Michael Morrison @Nicola CREWE people can’t just stop living.

They can if they die from a virus e.g.

 

[Lady of the Lake]

Just reflecting back upon when I first discovered CD and how lovely it was to watch, and how over a period of a few months watched every single one while in strict lockdown. It was truly, wonderful escapism and gave me a happy glow to watch. My reality for most of last year and half of this year was intermittent but lengthy lockdowns, barely allowed to do anything, couldn't even see my family, struggling with mental health as I was worried sick after covid caused my business (self-employed) to drop to almost nothing. Honestly, I was so grateful for the CD amongst other escapist things, and I would have given anything to jump at the chance to visit Lalande, especially at a festive time like Easter and especially especially at Christmas!!

Fast forward to now. Er.... I could think of few things worse than having to spend Christmas at Lalande! All the forced 'fun' such as everyone standing around awkwardly on the 'walk', trailing behind Little Red Riding Hood picking mistletoe from the fallen tree (a few hundred feet from the front door, wow what an exciting walk!) They all looked like hostages, not people full of happy Christmas cheer! Having a camera in their face all the time. Having to observe Phillip lording it over the chateau like prince consort and snorting all the time. Being freezing from dawn to dusk. SJ spending most of the time in her room rather than spend time with the others unless it's filming for content. The late, late meals. The constant focus on 'editing' to the point where they stay up until 5am to 'work'. (Why? that's just ridiculous.) SJ's manic laughter and out-of-proportion fake enthusiasm for literally everything. Gosh I could go on and on. But if you'd told me a few months ago that one day I'd feel very very differently about CD, I wouldn't have, couldn't have believed you. How times have changed.

 

[Hemerocallis]

Oh and I forgot Phyllis and SJ are not long back from England - the hotspot of Omicron in Europe. Covid Soup

The title of our thread
#96 The Oxymoron and the Ass

should be changed into

The omikron and the asses

 

[Trollda]

We know that they read here and they know that man fans think that Stephanie is 50 after Dan's joke on her Birthday.
They put the joke in their video but were too daft and full of themselves to realize that people would: A. actually pay attention in the vlog and listen to the fact that it was a joke, B. That Stephanie actually LOOKS OLD, so people would believe it. She's pissed that anyone would think that she was 50 and he likes to Lord this over her for whatever kicks he gets out of it.

I have a difficult time believing Fanny is anywhere near 45. She certainly looks that young from a distance because of the way she dresses herself, and even close up indoors with the help of makeup and lighting, but outdoors, close up to her face, she looks every bit of 60 IMO.

That Lalande dining room is, perhaps, the ugliest room ever conceived. I didn't know that Satan was an interior decorator.

I don't disagree with you at all, but I think the red pigeon tower might be even uglier. I saw someone somewhere post that it looked a like a collection of eyeballs in a sea of blood from a distance, and since I read that, I can't unsee it.

 

[Clara Burnett]

I do believe he is trying to piss Natti off with all the back handed "drinking vodka" etc..... I think he wants her to move on so he has control of the books and info .

Spot on. Nutty is majorly on Snorting Squirrel's to-take-care-off list, but he won't go full speed until party season is over.

Percy is a few fries short of a happy meal. Looks like IJ is getting very defensive. I wonder why?

Because she needs her sister Chantal at the scene of the crime. Armoir has failed miserably in keeping IJ's daughter in check so that's why IJ is pushing her sister in front of the camera's as her proxy. Some serious talks between IJ's sister and the not-so-happy-couple are ahead. It's truly disgusting that those two, sitting safe in their South African mansion where they are taken care off by their black servants, are trying to find ways to talk down on people who think it might not be a good idea to travel at the moment if you don't really have to. I would go as far as saying that it's people like these that are the main reason we are still in this covid mess.

 

[Hemerocallis]

2. The bathroom. That pink, it kept reminding me of something . The I realised. It's now called 'Germaline Pink'. Perfect match. Look up Germaline. I'm right arn't I

Yes, you are sooo right, agree with everything you said.
Don't you remember the Pepto Bismol tape in her bedroom ?
From stomache problems

to the need of antiseptic treatment

the inspirations of a Christie's tastemaker

 

[Clara Burnett]

Well Nicola Crewe exposed what @Clara Burnett has been saying all along about IJ - she's just as bad, if not worse.

Finally. And let me tell you this: we ain't seen nothing yet. When that lady returns to what she's doing best and what her daughter so successfully managed to keep under wraps by keeping her away, there will be no laughter left to love.

Yentas what a day …. @Gibson2 n @Marquis de Potpourri .. Not MIA

Now @sandro37 ……

Whom ever Nicola Crewe is
Tattlers are impressed at your plain speaking that the imbeciles at the farmhouse have never understood

It’s a pandemic a global pandemic
Stay home
As Isabel states
Don’t be ridiculous…..

Well Isabel it’s someone’s life .
That’s not ridiculous

Calling someone who advocates for safety and responsibility ignorant during a worldwide pandemic is about as low you can go in my playbook. Never been a huge fan of IJ (could you tell?) but she has surely shown her true colors here...

Well she was spooked that's for sure - so much so she had to respond. HM The Queen cancels Christmas, but our SJ continues forth

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I truly don't care if she's vaccinated twenty times or not. It's about spreading the new variant, you moron, about trying to contain it. About helping the caretakers in the world do their job in the best possible way.

 

[sues900]

That Lalande dining room is, perhaps, the ugliest room ever conceived. I didn't know that Satan was an interior decorator.

I much prefer the Flueries style, it’s calm and spacious, those ground floor ceilings are not that low but she makes it worse with all the fussy stuff, no wonder Nic and Potty have created their own spaces away from her