The Chateau Diaries #72 Winter is coming

[Jeeves]

Selmar looks as though he has acquired a ventriloquist's dummy.

 

[Jeeves]

What don't you like..... can't see what the problem is. Maybe Tattlers should join live chats. I imagine it would be like.....
@Rory hi @pjsj my love - insert multiple emojis
@Rory @pjsj did you see I said hello? How was your back/knee/prostate (insert some relevant body part)
@Rory@pjsj are you there? I said hello earlier, the live chat moves so fast - insert multiple emojis
@Rory we are such a lovely community of La Landers - insert heart, heart multiplied
@Rory hello Stephanie you look lovely in that white dress you have really got your value wearing it so often
@Rory hello mummy and Percy my loves - insert multiple emojis
@Rory @pjsj DID YOU SEE I SAID HELLO???
@Rory oh Phillip my love you are so dashing, handsome, clever, artistic
@Rory oh I hate those trolls on that site, tattling away
@Rory hello @MPotts my love how are you and @Ruthywriter? - insert emoji
@Rory Good times! The Chateau Diaries SAVED ME during lock down
@Rory Hi @Cara and @ @Celeste I will be there in 2024, pension savings allowing. Save that wool for me
@Rory did you get my parcel? @Natti?
@Rory has anyone seen @pjsj? No response from my shout outs
@Rory oh it's over all ready. Goodnight my loves
@Rory @pjsj goodnight hope you ok - insert emojis

Best post of this thread!

Don't forget: Have you had my parcel? I sent 12 pairs of handknitted knickers for darling Stephanie, to keep her warm but I haven't seen them opened yet. Can you check that the mice haven't got into the parcel as I also sent 6 packets of custard creams as they were on offer in the Co-op. Did you like the portrait of Mummy painted in Nutella on wholewheat toast?

 

[Rory]

OMG that live chat just about did my head in - i'd rather watch paint dry.

What don't you like..... can't see what the problem is. Maybe Tattlers should join live chats. I imagine it would be like.....
@Rory hi @pjsj my love - insert multiple emojis
@Rory @pjsj did you see I said hello? How was your back/knee/prostate (insert some relevant body part)
@Rory@pjsj are you there? I said hello earlier, the live chat moves so fast - insert multiple emojis
@Rory we are such a lovely community of La Landers - insert heart, heart multiplied
@Rory hello Stephanie you look lovely in that white dress you have really got your value wearing it so often
@Rory hello mummy and Percy my loves - insert multiple emojis
@Rory @pjsj DID YOU SEE I SAID HELLO???
@Rory oh Phillip my love you are so dashing, handsome, clever, artistic
@Rory oh I hate those trolls on that site, tattling away
@Rory hello @MPotts my love how are you and @Ruthywriter? - insert emoji
@Rory Good times! The Chateau Diaries SAVED ME during lock down
@Rory Hi @Cara and @ @Celeste I will be there in 2024, pension savings allowing. Save that wool for me
@Rory did you get my parcel? @Natti?
@Rory has anyone seen @pjsj? No response from my shout outs
@Rory oh it's over all ready. Goodnight my loves
@Rory @pjsj goodnight hope you ok - insert emojis

 

[HalcyonOrganic]

Aaahhhh mhhhhh ooohhhh oooaaahhhhhh huuuurrggg I can’t take anymore… no please stop stop that is way timmuch than I can handle…

how my back hurts.

Thanks for all your lovely amazing messages. Was quiet interesting in the toy department. Hundreds of board games for kids up to adults, Lego, playmobil, seasonal stuff, creative toys,… but the staff was very nice and helpfully.

That dickpet, sounds like Brian/Ryan.

 

[Marten]

Thanks @MojoDublin for the title.
Thank you @Bored Mermaid CC for the new thread.
Congratulations to the new VIP @Phoenix Richards-Bingham, @toilingwiththetoile and @Heathcliffe!

 

[Clara Burnett]

Tami Brown@The Chateau Diaries will Christies have a Tastemaker video about you on their website?

The Chateau Diaries

@Tami Brown They'll be linking to my videos!

Hahahahahaha. I know a lot of you were skeptical when I first raised the question if she was lying about the invitation from Christie's and it was actually she who contacted them. I still have no conformation on the exact way this went down, but the fact that Christie's basically paid for her Barbados holiday (according to SJ's own confession of blowing their money on it) and yet they are not using her 'creations' for any kind of advertising should be very explanatory ...

 

[KyBourbon]

Comment from MPK’s Narc Award video. Whoa! My advice to dickpet…take the red pill!!!

 

[T Rex]

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night (in my campervan)
There she stood in the doorway;
The Chatealaine and Mini Apron,
And I was thinking to myself,
"This could be Heaven or this could be Hell"
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...
Welcome to the Chateau de LaLande
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place, no heat today)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Chateau de LaLande
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here
Her mind is Tiffany Christies-twisted, she got the Mercedes benz Daddy's Jaguar
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard (the Tango), sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget
So I called up to Natti,
"Please bring me my wine"
She said, "We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine- no one has gifted it to you at Cadeaux at the Shitto"
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...
Welcome to the Chateaude LaLande
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the moldy chateau
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis
Mirrors on the ceiling,
Tattinger on ice
And Stef said "We are all just prisoners here, of our own device"
And in the Chatelaine's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their Spode knives,
But they just can't kill the beast (because that's so eww!!)
Last thing I remember (Amaury), I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax, " said the support squirrel,
"We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave! "

 

[halifax]

i wonder will she be able to move her ass in there..todays vlog shows some progress..i am glad my dog has more space to live in...what a nightmare that appartment...you cannot make it up...

that apartment is not really made for nattie.. its made for future paying guests....

 

[Gibson]

Thanks for organising and obvs I love the title. Off to winter proof Gibson Towers.

I meant to reply to @MidCenturyMadOne and @Beau Monde last evening. I am pretty sure there is also an earlier version than the David Niven Canterville Ghost.
David Niven is a superb and underrated actor. I thoroughly enjoyed reading his autobiography 'The Moon's a Balloon!'

Back to the shake, rattle and blowing radiators in the Shittoo.

 

[Marty McFly 9]

Philip just said "Winter is Coming" on today's vlog!! LOL

 

[MrsPoker]

Time will tell! It will be interesting to see if he even mentions his family in his bromance ‘podcast’, especially as so many of his fans have asked about them, a lot have noticed they have mostly been cut of of the daily Dan since the summer. There’s more footage of the shitoo kitchen than his own unfinished project, ironic as he only works at the shitoo 3 days per week and the rest of the week he vlogs.

Annalise does more family stuff on the patreon - not being funny, but someone slagged him off for showing the kids, and now he is getting shade for not showing any family stuff - He reads here, he know every person associated with the shatoo has every move they make analysed and dissected - maybe he has made a conscious decision to keep his family stuff off general viewing apart from a few cute snippets. His vlogs are 5 minutes, he has choices what to show and what not to show and seems to make good ones.

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

All those Americans are buying chateaux....when i look at them sitting there around the dinnertable..looking very spoiled and priviliged..... i wish them the best of luck... clearly seen too many disneymovies....ordinairy girls moving to a chateau in Genovia....

 

[Clara Burnett]

In short, the pipes are gonna go kaboom and the shitto will turn into Noah's arc!

This happened before, but with a much simpler an common cause when talking about SJ: laziness and stupidity. When the system was designed and installed, they cut so many corners to lower the costs that in a lot of places where radiators were planned and pipes were laid, the radiators were left out of the equation, to be installed on a later date (when hell would be freezing over...). Instead of securing these pipes thoroughly with the correct caps, they were left open and because no coherent schedule was placed next to all the different switches in the laundry room, and because all inhabitants of her shittoo are morons, wrong switches were turned without checking the effect. Years ago this resulted in several ceilings coming down because of days of flooding the attic, for example the one in the corridor next to her bedroom that connects to the room where Snorty is (not) editing at the moment. She was in bed when that happened (where else would she be?) and too afraid to go check where the noise came from, so she left that discovery for the next morning.... It took her a couple of years (!) to get that fixed, including the electrical wiring that obviously got unusable too. The ceiling in the stables where Ian the builder is working on but doesn't have the right material just yet to finish is another example. Above it now is IJ's apartment, but before that it was just another attic where her tat was stored, including her fathers pornographic escapades, then still neatly hidden. No radiator there, but the pipes were there, uncapped and waiting for... need I say more?

 

[Rory]

Oh now I get it. Phillip had ONE conversation with a lighting expert so now he can expertly plan lighting in Natti's apt.

 

[oooLaLande]

Anna talking about how "horrible" this yellow color is for 2 minutes straight killed me!
Is that hint in design taste? LOL

 

[Marty McFly 9]

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Making plans for Natita's apartment, I see! Did this incompetent Support Squirrel just become Lalande's new interior designer?
Pontificating Philipicating the design of someone else's apartment looks just so pretentious! UGH!

 

[skybluepink098]

I’m a little late on this one but the queen of wearing the same outfit all the time calling Dan out for being in the same jeans and sweater is ridiculous.

 

[Gibson]

Granny Josie has taken over the kitchen. Bless her, she'll need a holiday when her holiday is over. The Hairy Russian Baker cooks red cabbage by the bucketful. (Sounds like the humous glut). Grandpa Sillyman has taken to reading fairy tales to Diesel, by popular demand it seems. It's all okay though because he thinks he has done a good job. .

Imagine being his patron(s?) and for your money you get the book whisperer. Joy!

My predictions for the coming months:
Fanny will be on tour again en route to South Africa she will-
1. Stop off to Begmania
2.Maybe watch Flip in his play (or get someone to film and show snippets.
3. Go to South Africa for a prolonged holiday.
4. The Shittoo radiator situation will get worse, no one will have heating for the foreseeable unless they light fires and burn the Gag stuff. See below for possible scenario.
5. The advent is pre filmed so no need to rush back from her jolly holidays.
6. The downstairs bathroom cannot be completed due to water situation.
Or ...Dan has been roped in to help with the big job at the Shittoo possibly hanging radiators?
7. Before flying to SA , they will stop off in London for some jollies.

Have I missed anything?

Selmar looks as though he has acquired a ventriloquist's dummy.

I was going to say the same thing