The Chateau Diaries #43 The Mad Queen who is eating her cake and everyone else's too

[MojoDublin]

The Chateau Diaries #43 - The Mad Queen who is eating her cake and Everyone Else's too
Congratulations @Arfarf

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Thank you @Hercule P for compiling a Chateau dictionary! and updates
Thanks to @ploppityplop2
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.
Thanks to @NotAChatelaine for Tattle.Life Word of The Day
Honourable Mention @Gibson Now Resident Q

CHATEAU GLOSSARY

Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HMN - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
Fanny - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2009, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip
Pip - Philip
The Ward - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1988)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Francis Mannion Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)


Tattle.Life Word of the day

parwhobble' (19th-century English dialect): to dominate a conversation by talking continuously, without listening to a word from anyone else.

'snollygoster' (19th century): an individual guided by personal gain rather than by principles.

‘ingordigiousness’: extreme greed; an insatiable desire for wealth at any cost.


Château dictionary

BasMinger: Château de Basmaignée/aka Trotter Towers, the spin off Vlogs of the Trotters. @Jeeves

Begmania: château de Basmaignée @Le Comte de Monte Cristo

Cadge: Cadeaux at the Châteaux' channel @Definitely Maybe

Dadification: The attribution of Derek's nature or characteristics at each and every opportunity. @Jeeves

(a) Derek, to be a Derek: someone who is obsessed with boobs @Gibson

(a) Fouquet: as in to pull a Fouquet. The act of using public funds to finance once lavish lifestyle, in honour of the Great Nicolas Fouquet, Louis the XIV’s finance minister and builder of celebrated Château of Vaux-le-Vicomte (the most ostentatious Château of its time, pre-dating the Versailles renovations) who finished his life in jail being accused by the King of mismanagement of funds. @justcommonsense

GAG: Grab a Gift @Mrs O

Gustavo: male prostitute with expensive tastes @Hercule P

High Priestess Skankadankadingdong: SJ's name @lalablahblah

Madrid syndrom: stricto sensu, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive hotel in the middle of a pandemy
Flexible version, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive place @Hercule P

Petherfending: defending Petherick @Joy no toile

Philipicate (verb)
@Marquis de Potpourri when BJJ...
a) ...annoying shares an opinion behind the camera,
b) ...makes things and ideas more confusing;
c) ...pretends to be an expert on something.

Pontiphilcate : @Jeeves

Selmobile: Selmar’s camper-van vehicle of love and adventure @Princess and the Pea or @Gibson ?????

Spored: bored with Spode, I am so spored right now, or Diesel is spored; he wants his old dog dish back. @ProfessorPlum

Stephanese: What would be your definition? @mummydearest

Stephfending: when I actually do feel the need to defend SJ. @Milre

Stephiphany: a sudden awareness of the chance to swindle @ProfessorPlum

Trolliosis: a debilitating condition caused by Tattlers asking questions or making observations relating to grifting @lalablahblah

To Versailles: to behave like Marie-Antoinette (Sofia Coppola’s dancing, dressing-up, gambling, romanticising nature version of Marie-Antoinette) As in They Versailled again all night yesterday! @justcommonsense

To Versailles up: to make Versailles-inspired design choices that, depending on taste and budget, may result in a nouveau-riche or tat-like look. As in They Versailled up the entrance, it looks [insert preferred adjective]! @justcommonsense

ArtWork @Linus

ARTWORK @Linus


most Liked on thread 42
Espe
Chatty Member
Jun 20, 2021[/SIZE]

• #82[/SIZE]

Do you think we could arrange for one of the other chateaux owners to visit LaLande and go round filming it in Stephanie mode but not let her get a word in edgeways? Maybe Vivienne or Sarah (from Sarah & George) could do it; it would have to be someone confident who could dominate. I would love to see them describing all SJ's belongings. "We should point out that Stephanie has only been living here for 16 years and so has not had time to achieve very much in the way of renovation but she assures us that a lot of work is in progress at the moment." "We are now in the chatelaine's boudoir. This chandelier is an example of Murano's kitsch design phase and is unlike;y to be found in any other chateaux." "Now, let's look at some of Derek Jarvis's striking paintings which are just parfect against the de Gournay wallpaper. Now, in this one, we have a young blonde woman with bare breasts and bottom, she appears to be riding on the back of a sheep; she looks remarkably like ..(snorting from the cameraman)." Now, we are in the cellar of La Lande which, unlike many other chateaux cellars, appears to contain a lot of bats, rather than wine." "What a lovely chapel, we have seen some photographs showing that, nowadays, the chapel is used for parties and modelling purposes". "Lovely view out of the window to where there was once a lake; sadly it's not there any more but you can just glimpse a rather impressive camper van in the forest." "Now, we are up in the attic where there are rails of party costumes and here's a rather striking bright yellow polyester ball gown which was designed for the presenter of the Miss World TV show when the contest was held in South Africa." "The impressive gardens have embraced some new ideas such as growing pumpkins among the roses and tomatoes round the fountain which, interestingly also contains an inflatable pink flamingo." "What an interesting chateau, Stephanie, a really eclectic mixture of styles and taste, it's parfectly unique. Can we stay an extra night so we can go shopping in your famous brocante?"[/SIZE]

 

[black sheep]

thank you Mojo!

 

[Kickintheass]

Well that was the worst vlog ever. The images were blurred for a lot of it and the sound was off also. I watched at double speed with many 10sec jumps and still found it like nails on a blackboard.

I noticed on a previous vlog that PJ had a sticking plaster on his second finger of his right hand. Today's vlog he still is sporting a blue sticking plaster. Two things I took from this. 1. The timeline, they must have a number of gift grabs in the can for next releases. 2. How does a right handed person cut a right hand middle finger?

 

[halifax]

this is why i like dan and his channel so much... these are his commets when someone asked about sending funds to help"

Thanks that's very kind , although just watching is enough, I'm in a lucky position that if I need more money I can just work an extra day or make an extra video!, much appreciated

 

[Jikki2]

How does a right handed person cut a right hand middle finger?

He could have hurt it by doing something else. Oh right, Phyllis doesn't do anything. Maybe he hit something while flapping his hands.

 

[Patriciarella]

SJ should hire Dan to video the outdoor segments. That would save her time, filming and editing. It would be more fun to watch than anything Snorty does. Dan clearly loves doing it and they would both profit.

 

[black sheep]

thank you Mojo!

SJ should hire Dan to video the outdoor segments. That would save her time, filming and editing. It would be more fun to watch than anything Snorty does. Dan clearly loves doing it and they would both profit.

I would not want sj to cheap out on Dan's skills.....plus he would be too close the that sinking chateau

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Just watched MPK's latest Patreon video. It was actually Billy's video with a special appearance by MPK with their new volunteer, self-promoting fashion designer turned curtain maker from Austria. Considering his lifestyle, MPK shouldn't take conjunctivitis lightly as it could sometimes be a result of a sexually transmitted disease (STD ).

 

[purejuice]

SJ should hire Dan to video the outdoor segments. That would save her time, filming and editing. It would be more fun to watch than anything Snorty does. Dan clearly loves doing it and they would both profit.

That would co-opt Dan's own videos of Lalande, which I really like to see. I get a way better idea of the lay of the land and lack of renovation work from watching Dan than I do watching SJ. (Srsly, have you checked out his vids of his tea room? Gas, kettle, and lunch all within feet of each other. She'd be in jail in the UK or the states for allowing employees to use so dangerous a space. We talk about protecting the chickens from death, what about Dan, Selmar, tree guys and the builders?) Which I will be doing much less of in future. I've seen all the terrible grifting piggies I can take.

 

[Seeingitasitis]

He could have hurt it by doing something else. Oh right, Phyllis doesn't do anything. Maybe he hit something while flapping his hands.

Did a dog bite it when he rescued the chicken. And he wants another dog....

 

[Gibson]

Did a dog bite it when he rescued the chicken. And he wants another dog....

More likely he cut himself shaving. He needs to finish trimming the fluff on his face.

 

[wibblywobbly]

this is why i like dan and his channel so much... these are his commets when someone asked about sending funds to help"

Thanks that's very kind , although just watching is enough, I'm in a lucky position that if I need more money I can just work an extra day or make an extra video!, much appreciated

What is Dan's channel called? It's getting good reviews here.

 

[KiKiGee]

From the gift grab live chat... WTF!!!!! Please feel free to insert light blub jokes. How old is he??? Cat had to clean up his blood???

Laurence van Bilderbeek @philip Janssen how often do you cut your fingers? we see you often with a tape around a finger

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek It was still the same finger! A lightbulb shattered in my hand

Philip Janssen @Dawn GOUGH Auch... Especially the English ones that you have to push down are terrible (sorry Brits)

Laurence van Bilderbeek @philip Janssen wow so we'll get lots of drama at ETTC!

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek It happened when I was helping behind the scenes, so nope, not even that

DAWN GOUGH @Philip Janssen No offence taken! Can be a recipe for disaster to put pressure on thin glass. Do you have different fittings in Holland?

Linda Elliott @Philip Janssen there is a knack to our light bulbs

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek For the storyline it had to be a grand reveal and I wasn't supposed to see the end result before that, but as we were trying to get everything done in time, I was helping..

Philip Janssen @Dawn GOUGH Yes! In the Netherlands and in France as well, we've got ones that you have to screw in

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek Ja hoor! Worst bit: I got blood all over the Fortuny cushions, but thankfully Cat managed to get it all out

 

[Gibson]

SJ should hire Dan to video the outdoor segments. That would save her time, filming and editing. It would be more fun to watch than anything Snorty does. Dan clearly loves doing it and they would both profit.

That's if she paid him. Talent like that could show up Philip.
Hmm. Let us see the difference.
Dan can edit and work in a day.
Philip...
Dan can film without snorting
Philip...
Dan can do renovations
Philip...can't clean floor tiles, uses dirty linen and just about managed to cover a chaise .
He also can't screw(light bulbs )
Dan has the ability to talk to the camera
Philip...talks behind the camera or should I say snort. When talking to the camera we are mostly seeing his proboscis. He does flash his eyes like Marie, I do wonder who they take tips off.
Dan can catch chickens
Philip...probably caught chicken pox once.

Is there a comparison nah, not really.

From the gift grab live chat... WTF!!!!! Please feel free to insert light blub jokes. How old is he??? Cat had to clean up his blood???

Laurence van Bilderbeek @philip Janssen how often do you cut your fingers? we see you often with a tape around a finger

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek It was still the same finger! A lightbulb shattered in my hand

Philip Janssen @Dawn GOUGH Auch... Especially the English ones that you have to push down are terrible (sorry Brits)

Laurence van Bilderbeek @philip Janssen wow so we'll get lots of drama at ETTC!

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek It happened when I was helping behind the scenes, so nope, not even that

DAWN GOUGH @Philip Janssen No offence taken! Can be a recipe for disaster to put pressure on thin glass. Do you have different fittings in Holland?

Linda Elliott @Philip Janssen there is a knack to our light bulbs

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek For the storyline it had to be a grand reveal and I wasn't supposed to see the end result before that, but as we were trying to get everything done in time, I was helping..

Philip Janssen @Dawn GOUGH Yes! In the Netherlands and in France as well, we've got ones that you have to screw in

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek Ja hoor! Worst bit: I got blood all over the Fortuny cushions, but thankfully Cat managed to get it all out

@Bored Mermaid will have appropriate emojis for this one.

What is Dan's channel called? It's getting good reviews here.

Escape to rural france

 

[Bored Mermaid CC]

Did a dog bite it when he rescued the chicken. And he wants another dog....

Pip: Does your dog bite?
Farmer neighbor: No but my French dogs run fast


Pip: owwww your dog bit me
Farmer neighbor: that’s not my dog, that’s your rooster

 

[Jikki2]

From the gift grab live chat... WTF!!!!! Please feel free to insert light blub jokes. How old is he??? Cat had to clean up his blood???

Laurence van Bilderbeek @philip Janssen how often do you cut your fingers? we see you often with a tape around a finger

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek It was still the same finger! A lightbulb shattered in my hand

Philip Janssen @Dawn GOUGH Auch... Especially the English ones that you have to push down are terrible (sorry Brits)

Laurence van Bilderbeek @philip Janssen wow so we'll get lots of drama at ETTC!

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek It happened when I was helping behind the scenes, so nope, not even that

DAWN GOUGH @Philip Janssen No offence taken! Can be a recipe for disaster to put pressure on thin glass. Do you have different fittings in Holland?

Linda Elliott @Philip Janssen there is a knack to our light bulbs

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek For the storyline it had to be a grand reveal and I wasn't supposed to see the end result before that, but as we were trying to get everything done in time, I was helping..

Philip Janssen @Dawn GOUGH Yes! In the Netherlands and in France as well, we've got ones that you have to screw in

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek Ja hoor! Worst bit: I got blood all over the Fortuny cushions, but thankfully Cat managed to get it all out

How many Philips does it take to screw (up) a light bulb?

 

[Bored Mermaid CC]

From the gift grab live chat... WTF!!!!! Please feel free to insert light blub jokes. How old is he??? Cat had to clean up his blood???

Laurence van Bilderbeek @philip Janssen how often do you cut your fingers? we see you often with a tape around a finger

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek It was still the same finger! A lightbulb shattered in my hand

Philip Janssen @Dawn GOUGH Auch... Especially the English ones that you have to push down are terrible (sorry Brits)

Laurence van Bilderbeek @philip Janssen wow so we'll get lots of drama at ETTC!

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek It happened when I was helping behind the scenes, so nope, not even that

DAWN GOUGH @Philip Janssen No offence taken! Can be a recipe for disaster to put pressure on thin glass. Do you have different fittings in Holland?

Linda Elliott @Philip Janssen there is a knack to our light bulbs

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek For the storyline it had to be a grand reveal and I wasn't supposed to see the end result before that, but as we were trying to get everything done in time, I was helping..

Philip Janssen @Dawn GOUGH Yes! In the Netherlands and in France as well, we've got ones that you have to screw in

Philip Janssen @laurence van Bilderbeek Ja hoor! Worst bit: I got blood all over the Fortuny cushions, but thankfully Cat managed to get it all out

🩹

1. a light bulb-okay whatever I’ve heard worse
2. ‘the ones that you have to push down are terrible”-pretty sure he’s not doing it right
3. ”behind the scenes”-is that what we are calling it now?
4. “different fittings in Holland”-nope not gonna attempt this one-it speaks for itself
5. “Netherlands and France…have the ones you have to screw in”

is he trying to kill lokicleveland?

 

[Pno]

More likely he cut himself shaving. He needs to finish trimming the fluff on his face.

He could have burned it whilst fixing his Lady’s hair!

 

[Bored Mermaid CC]

He could have burned it whilst fixing his Lady’s hair!

this is my favorite snarky line today-you almost made me snort!

SJ should hire Dan to video the outdoor segments. That would save her time, filming and editing. It would be more fun to watch than anything Snorty does. Dan clearly loves doing it and they would both profit.

it would certainly up the quality of her flogs-CD never seem to actually tell a story-she just turns the camera on and thinks “That’s Entertainment“

dearest Stefannie I say these things to help you not hurt you-the following things are not entertainment:

doing your hair
man-boy doing your hair
you and the boy blunder choosing plates or cutlery
you shopping
you and your staff sorting clothes
Marie at any time
you manically discussing things
you drinking tea
you bathing
you and your friends/staff getting drunk
you chewing
Pip chewing
opening gifts from “your fans”
playmobil set-up

there’s more-but work on not filming these things-then we’ll see where we’re at with actual entertainment-no cheating by asking Dan for help

 

[Phoenix Richards-Bingham]

I just watched the gift opening vlog...just my opinion but...if YouTube paid her for each and every time she or anyone else on the vlog said the word "beautiful", she'd make more than her monthly Patreon amount!...I swear, she and her team said it at least 100 times!!!!...sometimes MULTIPE times about the same items!!!...