The Chateau Diaries #4 Jarvis in Jeopardy

[frenchessence]

Trotter Boy hasn’t come in terms with his mediocrity. His vlog will improve 100% when he drops his facades. That Michael we saw in Lalande a year ago needs to come back. Now he’s too self-aware, too obedient for the non-existent “how to do a perfect YT-video”-rule book that he’s managed to drain all relatability and emotion out of his vlog. Even Pa Trotter seems hilarious and interesting beside him. It’s just a boring documentary of building a gardener’s cottage, he hasn’t filmed anything interesting for a long time. He’s totally forgotten his main audience is middle aged women, he doesn't like this fact, but he hasn't got any street credibility with a younger crowd or DIY men.

and that bit where you say ‘even Pa Trotter seems hilarious and interesting beside him’ ! Im not a watcher of his vlog but tune in occasionally to keep up with the In-The-Know-Crowd here. I was thinking ‘wow Pa Petherick has come out of his shell - what a character !’ but of course it was only in comparison to Michael himself, who has shrunken away. He never shone a bright mega-watt LED like Stephanie, who lets face it, shines so brightly (even with her faults) that she could be seen from outer space, but he did have a little warm glow hidden underneath his awkward, reserved exterior.

It seems as if the power supply has been disconnected within Michael Petherick whereas LOTL could still light up the national grid

It was only the front section that he sent back the UK (because, you know, nobody in France can repair enamel!). I thought I read somewhere (this thread?) that there are issues with the front too so I guess that will also need to be replaced.

Anyway, I’ve managed to get a special preview of the completed Aga after all the new parts are installed.

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@ChocLili After all that renovation, you’d never know it wasn’t the original . Not

No he's married with a very beautiful woman and they have two children.

Indeed @Calvignac. His wife is stunningly beautiful. She is also very composed and ladylike in her manner. Not like an over-excited Labrador puppy (who we love of course), rather more an elegant thoroughbred

 

[Vaffle]

Also watched the Georgian cooking episode. Holy indigestion with a side of salmonella indeed. Leave a door open in the bread oven room or add secondary air from the outside. Highly improvised cooking tools, next round of cadeaux.

If you are reading this slurp out of your fleur de lys soup bowl. I am counting on you Selmar

 

[PeacockQueen]

LOTL has just revealed the Health and Safety posters for Christmas at La Lande

 

[lolander]

It would be more reasonable to hire a French person from the village. But then that's not their thing

It always strikes me how little they're integrated to the local community.

 

[TheycallmeMimi]

I just LOOOVE Kat !!

Yesterday with the kitchen cocktails, Kat comes in in her working clothes. SJ asks her if she didn't get the robe memo? Apperantly not.. Kat disappears for a while and comes back with Mandy, in robes you would think, but NO; both in their matching PJ's !

 

[sandro37]

Look for yourself

people, I guess I am from a different world, who in their right mind sends the half a ton heavy old AGA stove to England during pandemic????

 

[ChocLili]

Well what do you know? Here comes BG's latest scheme!

Fantastic isn’t it? Now we all have to suggest suitable sub £10 gifts. . . . my commemorative tea towels are out - I’ve just upped the price to £59 each due to demand.

 

[Calvignac]

Thank you to the Tattle New Threaders!

I have found - using information freely available on't internet so not a covert operation breaching cyber security protocols - Brenda's house. Actually, I wouldn't normally do such a thing as it is invading privacy, even it's the easiest thing in the world to find. BUT I feel that Brenda's controlling manipulation of circumstances and her intent so questionable that my inherent hesitation has been supplanted by the barefaced cheek of this woman.

So... BG doesn't live in a chateau...not even in a typical Irish cottage. But in an estate in the middle of nowhere, sorry I mean Donegal

 

[NotAChatelaine]

Aloysius the Ram from Chateau de Lalande | Rothwell Publishing

Aloysius, a rambunctious resident of Chateau de Lalande, delights in creating mayhem and chaos. Chateau de Lalande has stood for hundreds of years...but can it survive Aloysius?

www.rothwellpublishing.com

This is a Lalande merchandising project that seems to be sanctioned by SJ with proceeds going to charity! So different from what Brenda is up to...

I remember when this - or its prototype/draft - was sent to Lalande and unwrapped in one of the summer Cadeaux Cascade episodes. Done by an established/published/known writer and illustrator, too! I thought it really charming.

 

[Minxxx]

Ruthie (MPotts current gfriend) seems to barely tolerate being filmed. Oliver’s wife who is stunning only seemed to be jealous that SJ had fancier accommodations. Nic’s wife Marie does not seem to spend any one on one time with SJ either. It is very odd that a 45 year old woman does not have any female friends her age and from her same background ie: Oxford. And who wouldn’t want to come party in a Château in France for the weekend? God knows her Uni crowd has means and most of them have had careers too. For friends SJ basically has sycophants ie volunteers.

My friend made a similar point about Stephanie’s lack of female friends. It’s very strange that someone who is so bubbly doesn’t have any female friends. The volunteers don’t count. It’s very strange and maybe offers a little insight into what she’s like when the cameras aren’t rolling.

 

[witchgrass]

Yes, yes, you can grow a hardy coriander that will tolerate down to -10 but as soon as the frost hits the green is gone, kapput!

We don't use growing zones over here as you do in the US and it is also very much dependant on your garden/plots particular micro-climate regardless of where you grow

The usda zones are mostly based on average low temps and it doesn't look like that area has gone below -06 in the last ten years. France has it's own climate designations and still, it's similar to other locations on the equator that the US calls zone 8. I might be wrong since I just briefly researched the address. I managed a 1000 sq ft of raised beds and some livestock in an educational setting with similar but slightly drier winter temperatures for 10 years. We had more snow than they do, but early spring was wild with flowers because we threw donated packets of seeds on composted manure in the beds after clearing the summer debris. Also brassicas and root vegetables love a little snow if they are mulched and start early enough. I bet they would have luck with cilantro outdoors right now, and in the greenhouse for insurance, just in case they have another Taco Tuesday.

The vegetable garden is improving but it still looked unproductive for the size, and the soil looks like granite crumble. I wish they would mulch so they didn't have to worry so much about watering in the summer and they'd build the soil, etc. Dan gardens a little like a dirt farmer and rotary tilling just kills all your worms. I'm from the school of piling the garden like a forest floor when it's too hot, or too cold. Stephanie had fancied a more permaculture approach according to some listing I found on pinterest a while back. I can't find it now. They have a huge surplus of gifted seeds to experiment with, and they should cast half of them out onto piles of sheep shit and give that soil something to think about. I want them to have to garden with a machete this spring. It's part of the reason I joined this cult.

 

[frenchessence]

I am pretty sure SJ would not sell the chateau in the near future. Nic and Michael are unlikely to cashing in their chips, but if they do, SJ has first refusal anyway. More likely, they will unofficially close the B&B. The guests rarely feature unless they are chefs or have professional businesses. Therefore, it is more likely that privacy will be preserved by inviting only guests where there is real benefit - for example, the owner of The Woodsman would provide great content during a stay at the chateau and SJ would be able to visit his restaurant and home in return. Same with the guy with the restaurant in Amsterdam. The author of the children's book set at LaLande with beautiful rhyme and illustration would be a welcome guest as the proceeds from the book are going to a charity of DJ's choice and thus she is delighted to collaborate. These will be the sort of people whose company they will all enjoy and be useful contacts and extend their friend base. I suspect the workshops will be extended to provide variety and content. Volunteers will be needed to look after those people and provide vlog content themselves. The season for this will be short, as SJ will be travelling more with Oliver and privately and need the freedom to explore new business opportunities, and I am guessing they will be many. Brenda will not be in charge of merchandise. SJ will, I would have thought, should set up a "shop" at the chateau, full of exquisite gifts beautifully displayed in a newly renovated space. This will give the illusion that people are picking from the shelves and it is all being lovingly packed. In reality, the website can be classy and the merchandise does not need to go through the chateau. It can all be stored at Amazon warehouses and dispatched on order. SJ can continue at the chateau for the key festive dates for vlogging and enjoy other parties that do not need to have the camera present so that Nic does not have to wear the thin joke of a paper bag on this head and Antoine can enjoy Crot Crot without a prying lens. Patreons will be happy with tea and cake once or twice a year garden party. SJ has a great future and I am looking forward to seeing it all unfold.

Brilliant. You’ve said it as it will be. Right down to the Amazon Warehouse - and I laughed at the bit where Stephanie ‘travels more with Oliver’ on art/food tours - expect exotic/unusual destinations & upgrades in luxe accommodation as hotels/businesses clamour to collaborate with her in return for a shout-out & advertising that features attractive & effervescent, educated Chatelaine. She has the most incredible launchpad now for untold fame & enormous financial gain on the horizon (not that I’m knocking the massive income she must already be deriving from YouTube ads/Patreon - even after tax) I’m sure your prediction that Brenda will NOT be Chief of Merchandising is spot-on. I have two questions, one, why is Stephanie not already putting in place protection for any merchandising - she could state on her vlog that ‘the only way to buy official merch will be via her Chateau La Lande page. Patreon/fans will then immediately know anything elsewhere is a ‘knock-off’ - even if that ‘working web page’ is a while in production.
My second question is how will SJ deal with the wild card that is Brenda ? Cue the music There may be trouble ahead ....

 

[Viva La Loca]

You are very right , sadly. My wife (before we met, it wasn't me!) had a stalker, and that got very serious and still to this day is something she will never forget. People who are in the public eye can attract nutters easily. They create scenarious in their heads, and when it does not unfold the way they thought it would, they can flip. I would guess women more often than men attract stalkers, though of course (as we all know here) there are some female hatters as well, and one unhinged behaviour often leads to another (some people think flashing is harmless, but it is often the start of things that can lead up to rape, it is all about taking control). As Stephanie's fame grows, she will learn the hard way that you have to be careful in trusting strangers, I am sure this will be something Nic and Michael P will discuss with her. Sorry, getting quite serious here

also @Rory
On a serious note .. I've thought this since last year when I watched the London vlogs. Its so easy to pinpoint her flat location let alone book it and stay there. I thought at the time by eck you're a brave woman putting it all out there for the whole world to see when its your home and not just a rental property.
On the one hand I imagine Howard & Raj on The Big Bang Theory using satellites to find the house of models but on the other hand ... it only takes one loon. In comparison BG is completely harmless.

 

[Rory]

I know, once lock down is over she will be out of there for a break (I'm not judging that). And then all the patrons will descend and Scotman and Brenda and MP and Nick and MP2. Can you imagine. Now SJ and PP are doing advent series together. It's ridiculous how much this annoys me.

 

[Pno]

so pleased @Viva La Loca picked up on the calorie comment she made. A very 90s opinion to have about food to weigh up all options based on how many calories are in it? I think she may be one of those women who pretends to not care about calories and "eats whatever she wants" but in reality is very prescriptive about her plate. i doubt she eats half the things she coos about being "delicious" and "your best yet, Marie/Kat"

@sandro37 don't worry! none of what you said hasn't been said by most of the people here! sj is a sheltered child living in her lalande bubble surrounded by people who protect her from the outside world.

the money thing is beginning to make me feel rather ill. the enormous amount that must be being pumped into that chateau, with patreon AND youtube ad revenue AND the gifts (even if they are unwanted, they are often enormously expensive). I know the revenue from the giftgrab channel goes to charity but it truly upsets me how selfabsorbed they are especially at a time of incredible financial hardship for so many people

Especially since just one Spode gold Fleur de Lys plate goes for 90U$D and she will be receiving truck loads in the post now. Plus postage and insurance for poor-cell-lean is $$$. Who has a coffee service and then just 6 soup and salad plates.....especially when they just proclaimed they detest soup?

 

[Fuzzypeg]

I really think she was dropping hints for the Gift Grab. Why not tell them exactly what you want?


Back up the delivery truck because we will soon see as much brown sugar arriving much like the pink gravel was dumped off. Oh along with the worlds most expansive replacement pencils!

Your right, there will be lorry loads of Spode fleur de lys heading its way to la lande . Stephanie can purchase whatever she wants , but to choose to film it is quite cynical, cue lots of fake surprise and delight on cadeaux at the chateau ?

 

[66carola]

Michael just posted on patreon that he got a new puppy and asked for name suggestions. He has to write 600 Xmas cards and will send every patreon 2 prints of him. He asks for ideas for videos since he has no own ideas right now.

 

[Calvignac]

Ohhhhh Brenda Brenda Brenda

I went deep honorable mention to
Vic ave - it’s rumbling along over in the official chateau diaries

Stop the lights .... it goes on ... and ... on

am dumpster diving for the “spat” that occurred with LOTL PA
Asking “where she was getting her info from .....”

Ooooh it's becoming better than any TV soap opera !

 

[Calvignac]

The gift that keeps on giving

Amazing. BG being called "Bully" by some chateau owners.

 

[66carola]

You know when people marry someone for particular traits eg.being sociable, carefree etc and then spend all their time either trying to change them or get fed up with them specifically because of those traits? Is something like this what’s happening with some people and our Stephanie? I’m as cynical as the best of us but I don’t see her as particularly different to how she’s always been. She’s always been slightly flighty, enthusiastic and at times disorganised but she has also managed to oversee the chateau’s transformation from a building site to what it is now. I still believe she’s genuine and honest (not that anyone on here particularly thinks otherwise) and she still brings me a lot of pleasure. Still love you al!

Also people tend to be extra critical with people they love most