The Chateau Diaries #36 All Play, No completed Work makes Lalande a ruin/Money Pit

[NotAChatelaine]

Last night's particularly ridiculous - the Playmobil segment was beyind infantile and just downright pointless - CD episode caused a Shout Out Loud moment.

Michael Potts (and Ihe Invisibke Author of Rubbish Fiction) taking over the kitchen to create supper did at least come with some thought about the menu and it even looked vaguely palatable.. But...but...but...the squished baked baby tomatoes and feta lacked basil, which is part of the recipe. Chef Potts mentioned basil and I - silly me - expected a pot of basil to appear. Complete silence from SJ.

It begs the question and is what I shouted at my iPad: WHERE IS THE BASIL? WHAT THE FECKETTY FECK HAS BECOME OF THE DIFFERENT VARIETIES OF BASIL THAT I AM CERTAIN WERE IN THE GREENHOUSE?

Something else, I suppose, which has been left unwatered and died before getting anywhere close to the kitchen.

(The baked/roasted tom & feta combo - plus basil, plus some garlic - is something a vegetarian pal has done for years, mixed into pasta, occasionally adding black olives...it's not a culinary innovation!)

 

[Gibson]

Apologies, I was referring to her historically inaccurate costume for Bridgerton, not her size as that is what it reminded me of. I expect readers who haven't seen previous posts on that will think I am referring to her size I am not. Sorry, if I have inadvertantly upset anyone.

Ah...just teasin’ ...it was funny however you meant it. I imagine no one will come out of the woodwork and say anything to ya. All good. . Two of my best girl friends are ‘healthy’...and sassy and sexy as all hell. They call me all kinds of skinny adjectives...I laugh...it’s funny. Hasn’t hurt me a bit being a skinny bitch. I own it all.
[/QUOTE]

It's a minefield these days. My Sister in law and my wife are two pole opposites. I daren't comment on physicality as i will probably wake up with half my eyebrows shaved off and be walking around with an ice pack on my nether regions for a few days. I own what i say though, so all is good if anyone does take issue. It was clumsily phrased in the first instance and glad someone posted a pic of the Bridgerton dress as it still reminds me of a 'short Oz person in a movie about a Wizard and Dorothy'

So, is this before or after the wedding that Miranda Ash, (countess of Lalande), has booked for FRK? https://www.celebrationsforall.com/about
Maybe, the amateurs will help FRK create the special jar florals for the wedding???
WHAT COULD GO WRONG??????


FLORISTRY WORKSHOP
AUGUST 5-8, 2021

Marie Wiik hosts you and three other amateur florists for a weekend of flower heaven. Forage, and arrange with cut flowers with Marie to guide you. Learn to add floral arts to your overall wellness activities.
Includes 3-night accommodation with breakfast & self-catered lunch on-site at our chateau, ground transportation to and from nearest train station, and floral supplies for the workshop. Saturday night supper chez one of our restaurant partners at your own expense.
€995 per person. Terms & conditions.

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It couldn't be any clearer could it? Marie Wiik hosts you and three other AMATEUR florists. We provide a few Cut flowers and you forage the rest. Overall wellness is 'Ohmming' round a crystal bowl full of dead flowers whilst you try and manifest some life. Get yourself there ( at your own expense) Supper at your own expense, a good laugh at your expense , self catering ( because we are lazy) in fact do it all yourself. So exactly what do they provide? Some transport ( In Marie's new car)A bed, breakfast, some jam jars and water, a few cut flowers from the local lidl? Yep, i could totally see myself spending nearly a thousand euros on that crap experience.

 

[Madame No]

I'm puzzled by the Dance Classes. How will that work I wonder

Online using a broom for partner.

 

[Madame No]

Never heard the word "sewer" used here in my part of the UK. My mother in law was a professional seamstress. Someone who specifically makes women's clothing is often described as a dressmaker whether professional or amateur. Male clothing makers are tailors. I've done dressmaking courses so I'm an amateur dressmaker . Someone who did embroidery would be an embroiderer. As stated earlier a "sewer" is the big pipe under the road carrying away water and toilet waste. I agree sewist sounds odd, but I love new words. The English language is forever changing , not static. I love that about it. I like to see what new words are added to the Oxford English dictionary every year, then I can baffle and annoy my grandchildren by using them frequently.

Sewer is a generic term used for people who sew. Not all people who sew are skilled enough to be considered seamstresses, dressmakers or tailors. A sewer simply knows how to either hand stitch and/or us a sewing machine. Many people sewing in factories are called sewers because they just run those machines in a straight line all day long, doesn't take much skill. I would say Sarah is a sewer at this point in her life.

Picture intending to sexually arouse the viewer.
Sorry , I couldn't help. That's not me but I think you have a bad influence on me .

Tatayana's IG account photos of herself do send up red flags. That's why I keep going on about Sillyman being scammed by her. She's playing him. She's probably playing a lot of old farts. All that business of posting innocent images of flowers and animals is a ruse to get these lonely old guys to think she's just a sweetheart with a heart of gold. I'm going with my gut feelings on this one. I think she's put him up to the idea of buying a chateau by scamming an begging. He never discussed this idea before he got caught in her web as far as I know.

 

[Jeeves]

You get it once you are VIP member

Yes indeed. Just about to book a wonderful holiday with the proceeds! Will send a postcard.

 

[Its-me]

I see teabag has turned up in Bordeaux he really don't want to go back home does he

 

[FlyByeNight]

I think it's meant to represent the interior of Chateau le Mirage (thank you @Madame No, brilliant).
It's totally ganked from this interior design manufacturer, without credit and certainly without remuneration.

I was keeping an open mind that maybe they're socially strange and not scammers. But this! This is what scammers do.

If you have an enticing chateau for workshops, you show your chateau! They don't even want to commit to paying for stock photography. You can always google istockphoto coupons and get yer stock photos for 20% off any time, Steve! Or show us what you got, what you really really got.

Bad baadddddd omen.

 

[ploppityplop2]

Fanny needs to get a clue and take a week to have a total makeover. Her hair is somewhat better now (DO NOT LET CRYBABY TOUCH IT HE WILL HAVE YOU LOOKING LIKE A HAG IN NO TIME), but she needs to do a deep dive on what a woman of her age should be wearing. She does not look cool or elegant or edgy. She’s a big ‘ol mess. It’s all starting to look pretty pathetic. I’m her age and I’d be in jeans with riding boots and a cashmere sweater every day in the country until it gets warm. Heels only in the evening or at a business meeting with a suit. Flats and dresses during the day. I’d even still wear shorts, but with flats and loose fitting top. Flat hair - put it up, don’t let it hang there. Makeup - minimum mascara and pale lipstick always. No full face if hair not done. No bright red during the day. Never, ever wear pantyhose again during the day -evening gowns only. If your legs aren’t brown they don’t get seen. NO MORE FULL BODY YELLOW!! Get rid of all your clothes from when you were 20. You are no longer 20. Dress like a grownup. You’re welcome.

Her style is def worse since BJJ’s arrival, he tells her she looks great in everything

 

[Rory]

That meal made by MP & Ruth looks the healthiest eaten at La La for some time.

 

[NotAChatelaine]

There are way more! They are all just to lazy to go out there and check.

Much merriment chez moi when Dan announced to SJ that he was going to take a basket of kitchen garden produce over to the house every day. Which is what would happen in the real world. Lalande couldn't be further from the real world, and it wouldn't be worth the effort of harvesting homegrown vegetables and fruit. Better to put it all straight into Selmar's high rise compost construction and cut out the accumulation of mouldering and festering food languishing in the kitchen or the cold larder or the fridge. Time and motion.

Although there doesn't seem to be much, if any, evidence, of planting out all the seedlings so lovingly sown by Jenny Peahen. So many seedlings of so many things that the kitchen garden would be able to feed a village. Such a waste.

 

[MojoDublin]

When two tops go to war
A point is all that you can score
(Score them all, score them all)
When two tops go to war
A point is all that you can score
(Working for the back gas)

Relax
Don’t do it

When you wanna come ....

Hence SSB left BJJ back at the ranch

 

[Dippy Hippy]

From her unsuccessful Just Giving page (circa 2010)

ABOUT ME:

I trained in visual and performing arts as a youth, and later majored in sculpture and design at Syracuse university, where I had the privilege of training under the late, great Rodger Mack. I moved to London right after school and have had a pretty full life in that time. After almost a year starving on £3.50 an hour (one of my best jobs!), I started worked for myself and have since been involved in a variety of projects mixing the creative and emotive with the practical. I've had luck and misfortune and more than my share my share of thrilling success and agonizing failures, both professionally and personally... although I could have done with less of the misfortune and failures to be honest (not that I am being ungrateful).... After a very, very, long roller-coaster ride, I finally realized business was not only not for me – it was killing me! So, about 3.5 years ago I left my defunct business head behind and started a small production company (by small I mean myself) writing, presenting and producing positive based lifestyle programs on video and also writing screenplays, which is what I am doing now. For my future I hope to one day create an animal sanctuary, or some other sort of significant animal related foundation, to continue my writing professionally and perhaps in later years to eventually be able to return to visual fine art as a hobby.

My vocational interests lie mainly in animal welfare – specifically the protection of orangutans and other great apes. Another main concern is with the protection and ethical treatment of factory farmed animals (that is animals “mass produced” for human consumption). This is an underrepresented area – even by those who make animal welfare their focus. And yet in order to nourish and clothe most of the world, commercially farmed animals typically suffer the vast majority of the continuous and shocking daily cruelty inflicted on animals on our planet. With all their fur and teeth and claws animals are fragile. Their suffering at the hands of ignorance, greed, heartlessness, human desperation and apathy, is not something we can ignore as we sit looking down from the top of the food chain. For the great privilege of primacy, the welfare of the other species we share this earth with must be our responsibility. Animals feel pain and fear and sadness. They feel love and comfort and joy. Animals are innocent and their plight created by human kind touches me more than I can say.

with Love - Tatyana


Maybe this explains her attraction to Selmar?

This all sounds very airy fairy. I've been involved in the art, new age and alternative circles all my life and believe me it's very difficult to make a full time living out of it unless you are an astute business person or very talented. Rents are sky high and the cost of living in London is high if you want to be in the centre of it . She must have got money somehow, apart from her creative projects. Let's hope it wasn't by conning people out of their money. I wonder if this "history" has been produced just for enticing Selmar into her clutches, to get him to donate all his money to her "causes"

There’s an interesting part of the shittoo the shittelaine, to the best of my knowledge, has never showed on camera and not because it’s tucked away or hidden. On the contrary, the place where their booze and food is kept - referred to by the inhabitants as their ‘cold room’, is right there in that damp corridor towards the kitchen, in between the laundry room and SJ’s wet dream of a china-pantry.
The real reason for not showing future guests a.k.a. patrons-who-payed-for-their-stay-way-ahead where their meals are coming from is the appalling state of that room, where leftover food is literally left to rot, without anybody caring about any health risks involved. SJ treats food as she does all other objects in her HMN: prepared for status enhancing pictures or vlogs, to be forgotten about straight after. If it’s not cleaned up or thrown out, it’s the helps fault.
It must be because they are literally in the middle of nowhere that there has not been any inspectors around yet, if there were the place would have been closed for business years ago. She lacks the paperwork needed to serve food as well as the proper knowledge on hygiene and food storage. And even if she had the proper knowledge, I sincerely doubt she would care enough to act upon it.
I would not even seriously consider it, obviously, but just for argument’s sake and just looking at the food situation, I would prefer to stay with Fiona and Shrek in their just acquired shittoo; at least they promote self catering, probably inspired by having peeked behind the scenes at the HMN.

How shocking Clara! That's really awful.
They had better get with with the new downstairs toilet. It sounds as if it will be essential as more people arrive at Lalande and sample the contaminated food..

 

[FrenchGirl123]

Breaking news : Selmar got his first jab ! (His latest video).

 

[lalablahblah]

The Canadians must have bought a place that's habitable enough to book events. Doesn't it take months to settle the paperwork for a home purchase in France. The story we've been fed doesn't line up.

 

[Milre]

I am in 2 minds about my make believe background story for Sara and Steve. I really do think they look like brother and sister. I'm favouring midlife romance, they met online, last 5 years, possibley a dating website with a shared hobby of art or being artistic and dressing up. Sarah older. Had house, savings, solid employee know it all type, assertive with her leadership and expression of opinions. Steve goofy attractive, failure to launch type. Likely complete opposite - childhood sweethearts, 3 grownchildren, blah, blah

Omg, this is so fun here. But I fear no volunteerist will ever dare to come to LaLande when reading here what happens to newbies being checked and over analysed. They really need to be mentally stable, but then they wouldn't consider going to Lalande. And then no work will be done and no-one to be vlogged and what will happen to SJ chanel? And nothing to tattle about?
We need to say something nice, too.
I start with the tidied up kitchen. Did you all see there is no mess in the cooking area? I think this is Sarah's influence? How did she manage to throw Marie out of the kitchen?

 

[FrenchGirl123]

Mine planted itself into the road one Friday morning on the way to school when a track rod end broke. Caused a traffic jam and it was raining

It can happen with any car make.
Renault is a tradition in my family generation after generation. Never heard of cars breaking every minute. Quite the opposite actually.
Maybe only French drivers know how..to drive properly hahaha ( Only kidding of course. I think it's called "banter" in english ? )

 

[Marten]

Some are beyond help. "Michael Potts .... much adored" !

 

[Jeeves]

I see Ma is still trying to peddle her fairytale - The Princess and the Pimp.

 

[Arfarf]

I think he is scared to go home without Skankakee to protect him.
I'd be scared of Helga Petherick too! Doesn't she look like a Helga? Like she would beat you with a wooden spoon!

Trotter that is.

 

[lalablahblah]

They already have workshops on the calendar. Sewing with Sarah 2500 flowers and wellness with Marie Wilk 995... Ok...