The Chateau Diaries #307 Stephanie Jarvis, how do other châteaux progress but yours does not?!

[Ladeda1957]

THIS is GOLD!!! I can't stop laughing!!! Thank you @Le Baiseur !!! You have won the internet today!!!

(BTW- stealing this as my avatar picture- it is too awesome not too!)

I also choked on my drink, it’s hilarious but it’s also a better look because culture appropriation is Snorts thing anyway, pretending to be French, smart and straight

 

[graciemckitten]

Fanny, you silly, silly girl!!! WTF!!!! Leftalot is not playing with the peacocks and they are not friends getting to know each other.

Are you trying to prove it's safe for Leftalot to be around the peacocks? Are you trying to perpetuate your lie that a fox, and not Leftalot, had anything to do with the death/disappearance of the roosters and hens? Are you trying to show that the peacocks can take care of themselves and will chase Leftalot away?

You fool - read Leftalot's body language - he's crouching to hunt his prey. Put that dog on a leash and keep him away from the other animals.
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Smoke and mirrors Stephanie was trying to manipulate viewers again and try to create the impression that the peacock harasses Ratso and that the dog couldn’t possibly cause any harm to the peacocks, peahens, chickens, and/or Spud or Beethoven. She she didn’t came up with a storyline to plant her fake Fox massacre lie, enlisting FRK who likely had something to do with Ratso chasing and/or attacking the chickens or roosters. Kirstie who likely took the majority of the chickens and roosters to slaughter or to sell, as well as others on the dump payroll to lie to keep the money rolling in. Ironic that Stephanie is so worried about this ferocious blood thirsty fox, but after telling her tall tale, stupidly records the dog running unattended around the dump. It also shows that there was no protection for Ruby, the peacocks, or the peahens from any predators. Did you notice that the dog has been harassing the peacock for some time prior to Stephanie discovering the dog. It is a misleading piece of film, because Stephanie does not show the dog harassing the peacock for several minutes prior to her finding the dog. She wants to create the impression that the minute the dog approaches the peacock, the peacock will defend itself. The peacock finally chased the dog because he was fed up with being harassed for a long period of time.

 

[T Rex]

I also choked on my drink, it’s hilarious but it’s also a better look because culture appropriation is Snorts thing anyway, pretending to be French, smart and straight

And this song has been in my head all night, thanks to Snorts:



Which would explain the Shittoo decor, frankly! (Especially that wallpaper!)

 

[Pekey]

Stephanie had to roighly rub her giant man hand over the dog‘s eye again. Is she in capable of learning? Can she not control her giant man hands
so she doesn’t rub her hands all over the dogs eye or does she intentionally harm him to maintain her title as one of the shittiest dog owners in the Chateauverse?

Gracie........ sly Fanny might be doing that to wipe away the tears and gunk so Tattler's won't see it on Ratso's face !!!
We SEE it Fanny .

 

[Pencil Pine Principessa]

Look at all that crap in the yard. It is starting to look like Annalise and Dan's property. What a dump.

I was thinking that too. Look at all that unused construction equipment and material piled about, yet ZERO construction going on for months!
Only destruction. Destruction of the crumbling dump, destruction of those poor chickens, destruction of human life due to unsafe working conditions and destruction of all her former relationships due to her me me me greed. Not one so-called friend has been there in months. Grunt was expecting the former fun days of camaraderie and laughter when he flew half way around the world. All he got was grunt work and day old croissants by himself in the kitchen.

 

[Pekey]

Grunt was pretty quiet in this one, he wont be back.

If Grant returns not only is he a wanker but a bloody FOOL !

 

[UvulaDonor]

I would pay good money to watch Grant lose it with Hair arrangement guy

 

[T Rex]

I would pay good money to watch Grant lose it with Hair arrangement guy

This would be his theme song (sorry, Tartlets and Tartgents, just going off of my playlist tonight):

 

[graciemckitten]

Did you see him nipping and biting her pant leg??? He needs some proper training, but that wont happen. No consistency was Fanny and Snorts are too busy traveling. Grunt was pretty quiet in this one, he wont be back.

 

[Pekey]

I think Ratso has become a bitey aggressive dog ....... he has finished with the chickens - on to the peacocks and hopefully he will get himself inside Fannys $$ wardrobe and finish off all her expensive dresses and shoes.

 

[T Rex]

I think Ratso has become a bitey aggressive dog ....... he has finished with the chickens - on to the peacocks and hopefully he will get himself inside Fannys $$ wardrobe and finish off all her expensive dresses and shoes.

@Pekey, Fanny is so unclean, I don't think she or anyone around her would even know the difference! After all, she wears clothing straight from the Brocante without washing it!

 

[Le Baiseur]

 

[graciemckitten]

I was thinking that too. Look at all that unused construction equipment and material piled about, yet ZERO construction going on for months!
Only destruction. Destruction of the crumbling dump, destruction of those poor chickens, destruction of human life due to unsafe working conditions and destruction of all her former relationships due to her me me me greed. Not one so-called friend has been there in months. Grunt was expecting the former fun days of camaraderie and laughter when he flew half way around the world. All he got was grunt work and day old croissants by himself in the kitchen.

He was treated as “staff.” Bet Stephanie ledhim on by emailing or texting him flirty messages, to lure him to the dump, then abandon him most of the time to travel. She needed a replacement for Amaury because Amaury was going to the south of France to renovate his parents new home, and Snorts is weak and useless.

 

[Fromthenorth]

If Grant returns not only is he a wanker but a bloody FOOL !

He is already a bloody fool and a wanker, he did return without wife and with a child.

 

[Le Baiseur]

I'm a little bored tonight!
Stepping away from the 'puter now!

 

[graciemckitten]

Delusional Stephanie believes the Dump looks like a mini Versailles but in reality the Dump looks like the tv show Sanford & Son Salvage shop, complete with old trucks.

 

[Lady Pinkadella]

After months of rehearsals, the long-awaited premiere of “Chicken Massacre in the Land of Lies,” a fictional drama in two acts, finally took place. Act one was Roostergate. There were obviously no monetary expressions of condolence, so marketing strategy adjustments had to be made for the second act.

The building materials for the sexy flower guy's flower stand have already been delivered. In the future, mourning pilgrims will be able to purchase bouquets of Foxgloves in rainbow colors to lay at the battlefield.

After Kirsty and the invisible handyman laid a concrete foundation for the future chicken castle months ago, the "Adopt a Cinder Block" campaign is finally starting. As soon as the chapel is completely restored, workers will immediately begin building the high-security chicken wing.

The following is planned for the grand opening:

* 1000Stars will launch a kimono with an exquisite Indian chicken curry print and for every shred sold, 5 euros goes to the chicken foundation.
* Lilysilk offers the mourning community the unique opportunity to unlock a 20% discount with the code “silkiechicken”.
* Superfans who are overwhelmed by their grief and need help can take advantage of a free trial month from Betterhelp
* additional a wine subscription is also recommended.
* To prevent worry lines about Ratso's security, every visitor receives a discount code for the new Foreo Chicken 1.0
* Since foxes don't like the smell of human sweat, Wild developed a human sweat deodorant especially for the Land of Lies (all attempts to produce this smell naturally failed due to a lack of motivated Lalanders).
* Bally offers a shoe in the design of the strawberry-eating chicken. Pls write the card yourself.

At the souvenir stand next to the high-security chicken wing, the super-deluded superfans can purchase numerous fan items: napkins embroidered with chicken motifs, felt chickens made by Wendygrinch, tiles with pornographic chickens, scraps of wallpaper painted with watercolors with a chicken of their choice, limited prints from the wildlife camera (unfortunately no fox was spotted).

And if you still have money left, you can have your photo taken at Pottsy's kissing booth, either with Ratso in a fox costume, shirtless Amauroy (be aware Natty is around the corner) or with a hairpiece of your choice.

 

[billybudd]

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Liking it much better awready.

 

[ComtesseRose]

Watch Stephanie wet her dress over expensive Mercedes in the courtyard. It’s all about.$$$$$$$$$ for the greedy Shittelaine all day every day, no exceptions.

How ignorant of her to assume they rented it.

Now the big question, why has the chapel rennovations stalled? The witch got all her fools to pay for that renovation!.

 

[billybudd]

Things the way they are supposed to be… desserts with whole raspberries or with raspberry jam or sauce…
But never half raspberries. Is it too difficult?

What's so insane she's highlighting the cheapness and the skimpiness and Fanny's ethos, which is to show her guests how little she thinks of them. Marie is picking up on that unarticulated imperative -- Isabelle's starve the help and the guests -- paaarfectly.
Still shaking my head on the bouquet of salad, trying to wrap my head around it, the very composed plate, which I think is passe even in the fanciest restaurants? I mean, it was kind of bullshit to begin with, the polka dots of balsamic on the rim of your plate were a 30% markup right there, just for being a chump.
A bouquet of salad, for starters, should not have stems too thick to eat. How do you cut that up without sling shotting the whole megillah across Pheeph's tablecloth? There's a reason people tear up lettuces for a salad. Even the Japanese, who are the gold standard for aesthetic plating, don't form stuff into bouquets. It's part of the old clapped out French garniture tradition taken way too far by hardworking chefs with no taste. Melon sculpture. Pièces montées made out of sugar. MFK Fisher had a hair raising piece about a pièce montée, a massive white sugar city, created sometime before World War I, which the clapped out chef who confected it, on the steamers she used to take from Cali to France, had carried around with him, to ever worse jobs, for 25 years. He drug it out, only slightly dusty, for the Kafkaesque captain's dinner he confected at the end of a very long and grody voyage. That's where Marie's brocolli schmears come from.
What's so disconcerting is food becoming a tragedy.