The Chateau Diaries #307 Stephanie Jarvis, how do other châteaux progress but yours does not?!

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

Fuck a Doodle Doo
How many Ardmore tablecloths and napkin sets does that twat need in his life? I just wish Ryanair would act true to form and lose their bloody luggage on their return home.

 

[Lochness Monster]

I am certain that Snort's flowered blouse was my 91 year old mother's that we donated to Goodwill when clearing out her home to sell. It was circa 1984. He is a dumb crumb.

He could have chosen many from Zara but maybe the collar description did it for him.?
I am hoping that as they are so short of content Snorts will have time to run up a pair of matchy matchy trousers using the embroidery stitch on their Brother sewing machine, maybe a bonnet aswell?

 

[Lady Avonlea]

@Lady Avonlea I hope you are feeling better!

Apparently in hospital for the weekend, although I am starting to feel better.
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Have we seen that expensive oil splashed dress since?

I thought Fanny may have wore that green dress when they flew out last Sunday on Ryan Air.
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Snorty didn’t go flying on Monday. I’m wondering how many auction houses he visited while left unattended, and how much crap he bought that we won’t see until it suddenly pops up in a few months?

 

[C'est moi]

On the way back from the supermarket weekly shop today, I stopped at the farm shop. It has to be said that the fruit and veg on offer at the supermarket today was not good. Limp salad, imported tomatoes, wrinkled pears, and apples. So, at the farm shop, I got a lovely crisp, fresh salad cut about an hour before. Some baby courgettes. A nice fat red pepper. Both grown in their glass houses. Half a kilo of cherries from the orchard just outside the farm shop and some gariguette strawberries from the glass houses around the back. Let me tell you that the cherries and strawberries have the most amazing flavour.

If MarIE wants a suggestion for a traditional French and currently in season desert, look no further than cherry clafoutis. Almost forgotten by the French and considered old fashioned, it is beginning to make a comeback.

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

Refugee My arse.

 

[Freesia54]

I'm in shock, that dress cost more than most people earn in a month.

I could have 10 days in the Spanish sun for that price. Room with a sea view and I'd be fed and watered too...

 

[Lady Lindy]

The spending hasn't gone unoticed
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Grimwood to the rescue!

 

[C'est moi]

And why is the fountain green and not on?
Fanny tells us the gardener is working in the courtyard. I think he just flung his high viz jacket on a bush and has gone home. Her eyesight is not good enough to tell if he is there!

Yes, why is the water in the fountain green and the fountain not working. Didn't they have it repaired and cleaned just a few months ago ready for the new b&b season. You're slipping Despicable fanny. Did you use one of your "stock" clips from a previous year or have you let it get in shit order so quickly? You really don't give a fuck, do you!
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Unfortunately you might be asked to become a volunteer. This is vlog planning gold!
Fanny has lost the plot and the little girl guide is no good at orienteering.
Is anyone worried about those huge mirrors and paintings that the ‘not an interior designer’ is balancing in every single room. One of those mirrors falling could kill a child or Ratso if it fell/ when.
Are the dodgy electrics allowed if anyone is living at the dump especially staff and paying guests?

I think Grant is just about holding it in in that first picture. The pressure is mounting and he's going to blow!

 

[Cleo's Asp]

their

They probably spent more than many other people's life savings in a few days.

 

[Bleu Lala]

Gracie, I think they already have a stuffed fox they can use . . . in the billiard's room winter salon library.

I'm sure there are better images, but it can be seen in this screenshot from when the first B & B guests of this season gave their "reviews" of the HMN (Dirty Sox is sat to the left of Blue-Chain Lady).

View attachment 2948303

There is shit everywhere! Literally every surface is covered in junk. Where is a guest supposed to put down their drink, or book?
And you know no one is cleaning anything, gawd just the thought of how all of that damp, mold, dust smells turns my stomach.

 

[AndAnotherName]

Stephanie Jaervis, a.k.a. Caroline Gooder has immediately appeared in the comment section.
@user-to9hh8zz9i
8 minutes ago
I love your videos and all the decor. Just a thought.. remembering how you felt after visiting another less cluttered chateau… perhaps a Chanel philosophy; look in the mirror and remove one thing. I am curious what happened with the room with the pink tulip wallpaper… last check the eave was being repaired? Would love an update.



@carolinegooder7091
4 minutes ago (edited)
Amaury was building a new long wall with insulation. He wants insulation on the floor. Stephanie wants wall to wall carpet also.

Ah, Caroline Gooder, the font of all knowledge at LiarLande.

Must say that it took her long enough to mention the fox slaughtering the chickens. Kirsty looked a little non-plussed by it all.
And I thought she was going to cut Fanny's hair? Doesn't look like she took off any length at all.

Oh, and the glasses were Snotty's grandmothers! Quelle surprise!!

Excuse me while I go and throw up in one of those cache pots.

 

[Jeeves]

Same kind of upbringing for me. I get very stressed if I'm running late so I avoid it like the plague! If I have to go somewhere for an appointment I've never been to, I plan a trip ahead of time so I'm familiar with the route and KNOW where I can park. That's the tricky part.

I was bought up to be punctual and I can count the times I have been late on one hand - car breakdown, road closed due to accident, etc. My husband is worse than me - he has to arrive really early. Sometimes I have to make him wait if we arrive at a friend's house too early as I know that it will probably put our host into a spin and so we sit in the car so that we arrive on time rather than too early. He's like the speaking clock (is that still a thing?) when we are getting ready to go out, with constant updates on the time. I wouldn't mind if I had a reputation for tardiness!

 

[JackSpratt]

There was more...

View attachment 2954880
View attachment 2954875

Kelly Joyce
Wendy Grimwood Lovely of you to explain. People have died, chickens are dead, dead landscaping. Containers to store hoarded items. No heat, lake, grand salon, terrace, etc . . . many excuses. Please tell me that is a good look!!!

Wendy Grimwood
Linda Lord all Patron money goes on restoration. I think Stephanie and Philip should be allowed to spend their money on what they want without criticism. Stephanie works hard creating vlogs which is how she earns her income.its a job that she devotes many hours to a lot of which are unsociable.

Linda Lord
Wendy Grimwood but if they can afford spend so much unnecessary money on themselves, why do they need others to pay for restoration of their home. Are they using the chapel star money?

Kelly Joyce
Linda Lord Exactly!!!!!!

OOoo good catch, love it. Please let this be the start of the summer of discontent.

 

[JackSpratt]

Anyone who wants to be affiliated to Despicable fanny deserves any implications and blame that come their way. It is the price they pay for dancing with the devil.
FRK MarIE - stupid girl
Annalise - stupid girl
Curtsey - stupid girl

MariE = thick, Annalise = two faced/desperate? and Curtsey, went right off her (she's on the Gibbons FB group and is cut of the same mold) when she had a right go at someone on there ages back now. I thought mmmm nothing llike showing your true side.

I cast them all in the same boat as the rest.

 

[T Rex]

I suspect she won't feel half as badly about Pavlina/Pavlova (I love that you call her that!) as she will with MariA coming back! Perhaps having both Pavlina and MariA there together is a double threat!
I'm not saying Maria is returning to la Lande, but she is on the move, leaving Korea. The timing of her leaving Korea, when Pavlina has arrived back at la Lande could be just a coincidence....or maybe not?

Note that both Jared and Andie have responded. MariA views and approves all comments before they're posted, so I'll check to see if there are any more people associated with la Lande in the comments later.

View attachment 2953841

I guess FRK's attempt to find a slave qualified kitchen staff "volunteer" for Patreon Days was a fail. While I think Pavlova Pavlina will be fine either way, having FRK and MariA in the kitchen at the same time- well, get out your popcorn if this indeed occurs! Then again, Fanny is a cunning witch, and planning this "showdown" for views is not beneath her.

 

[Kickintheass]

The rose wine is from a box, hence the 'decanting'. Not sure bringing the box to the dining table fits with their table scapes.

 

[Rory]

I’m just imagining those strawberry shoes on Steph’s lily white legs (as shown in her umpteenth safari vlog - was it the19th or 20th safari?). Her legs will look like a homage to “strawberries and cream.”

Put it on the menu Marie!

 

[graciemckitten]

The complaints about the newly decorated room continue

amysimpson646
1 minute ago
You need a decorator. It's such a jumble of styles and periods, it looks like it was decorated by college students, and not design students

@konielliott2933
2 minutes ago
I like Phillip's shirt but find the half tucked in very strange. Don't care for the painting in that room

angelinajardean6484
3 minutes ago
The wallpaper is not soothing… a sifter wispy floral would be better.

tzok09
7 minutes ago
I like the room, but agree, sadly that particular painting of your father's is not quite right for the room. But that said, its your home and your father. The rest looks lovely IMO.


@dalebadman6700
6 minutes ago
I agree that the wallpaper is not right for the room and neither is your fathers gorgeous painting! The beds are perfect!
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looks like Stephanie better get going and trap that pesky Fox.

deedeed6853
20 seconds ago
Regarding the Fox.... You need to ask your MAYOR/Person in charge of Wildlife etc... to trap the fox and relocate him. Once he's killed he will be forever an annoyance or worse, a killer. I think wildlif conservationists should help you out here. Your fathers painting, although beautiful, it does NOT work well in this room. (Just my thots). The rest of the new room is beautiful

bigboy77dk
12 minutes ago
Don't ignore the fox situation, because now, your place is their good hunting ground, so they will keep on coming, looking for any prey, meaning the peacocks, Lancelot, Ruby... But also all small wildlife in the gardens and woods.... The foxes probably have alot of growing young ones to feed


@deborahreynolds1552
2 minutes ago
Please consider getting a guarding dog, Ombaline or Kirsty will be able to guide you I am sure. He/She could live in the walled garden and go out during the day with the chickens and gard the Peacocks when nesting as well. They are very low maintenance and independent but very very protective of their livestock. It will save a lot of stress to animals and humans alike

brianastinson1670
12 minutes ago
Does Ruby have a way to go somewhere safe at night? Away from the fox. Can he be put in an out building at night or something so he’s away from the fox? I know it attacked during the day but Ruby would be very vulnerable at night especially.


@lindametten4010
3 minutes ago
Please put a wire top on the chicken area, the fox will return.

Wendy is getting spicy in the comm3nts.

@wendymorrison5803
12 minutes ago
Loving Philips ensemble in linens today. He looks comfortable and stylish. Away with the college boy skinny jeans.

lindablackmore
2 minutes ago (edited)
The room is nice but getting there through that unfinished hallway and those exposed wires isn't very professional, safe or up to code for a bed and breakfast. Just saying


@juliecoggins1170
7 minutes ago
The wall paper is so busy, keep the decorations simple. Even the blue trim in this room is so bold, it throws things off… I clearly makes putting this beautiful room together more difficult.

Kandi-Walker
1 minute ago
The wallpaper design looks like marijuana leaves in my opinion. Not very Chateau-y, or is it??

vickihansen1937
1 minute ago
About this bedroom you are referring to in this video: I personally do not like the wallpaper at all. There is no interest or variation in the paper pattern. It is just a simple repetition of what looks like blue snowflakes. However I assume it is there to stay. My suggestion is to downplay the intense blue with white trim, base trim, door and window trim, to match the white in the paper. Do not put any type of cream colored furniture against that white. Darker wood or white painted wood. White bed coverings.The blue is too much. It is a very unrestful room with that paper and the blue trim gives no relief. Rember, just my opinion.

 

[Cleo's Asp]

The spending hasn't gone unoticed
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Grimwood to the rescue!

The coat she bought at the CFS would have cost hundreds, if not more, and later, she revealed she'd bought a matching skirt at the same time. They certainly weren't appropriate for the rain and looked like wool, or wool and silk, maybe cashmere. Also, did you hear her talk about £600 pashminas being sold out? What's the betting she bought one, or at least, she would have if they were still available. The gifts at Ardmore were also worth hundreds and were probably given in exchange for some very pricey purchases which will l be revealed at LL at some future point and described as gifted.
I am beginning to think that W Grimface may actually fancy Fanny. I think she planned a visit to Ardmore to "bump into" them there as that's where they went after last year's visit to Chelsea when they also went to the Yves Delormé shop where she worked. She probably knew which day they were in Chelsea. She seems devoid of any personality and always looks very miserable and out of place but she is clearly very smitten with Fanny, and can't keep away, despite not enjoying the freezing dump when she last visited.
I imagine they spent thousands in London altogether, what with PJ's expensive purchases at the show and then visits to all the exclusive shops in the Chelsea area. She really has no shame; no boundaries, and doesn't care a hoot what anyone thinks of her spending. How anyone can think she deserves all that, I will never understand. It seems she has to be indulged wherever she goes and she's treated like a little girl who must always be given presents. Davy must be aware of what she's doing with the patron money and it's time he distanced himself from it all. Pavlina, as has been said, is also showing that she's another brainwashed cult follower. At least, Maria had the sense to get away and let's hope she stays away.
Just seen the post with the price of the outfit, no surprise at all. She is a shameless beggar.

 

[On Repeat]

I'm in shock, that dress cost more than most people earn in a month.

Just grotesque. Today I watched an older lady checking out the cup of soup packets and when she got to the checkout her trolley just had a few cheap items in it. I bet she would love to have the price of that dress to spend on basic essentials, like food.

Someone mentioned Stephanie Jarvis's poor posture the other day. She still does that hunched over little girl look with the doleful eyes looking up at the age of 50. Come and sit on daddy's knee- sweetheart.