The Chateau Diaries #302 Stay home and renovate the damn chito

[Lady Avonlea]

Why is she moving the paneling now if renovations cannot happen during the B&B season????? Something’s up and doesn’t make sense.

Fanny's packing up the paneling to take it to Venice.
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Nothing makes sense there. That’s why we’re all here.

Suggestion - Nothing at $hitoo Lie Lande makes sense. That's why we're all here.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

So loving that Fanny spent a few days getting her fillers refreshed having her hair done and trying to convince Americans that Islington is a down at heal area. Islington is a great place to live, it is a creative area full of arts and great restaurants. Fanny trying to make out it is not is laughable. Weirdly I was shopping on the very street she was in St Johns Wood yesterday, shame it wasn't last week. She didn't manage to pop in to Panzers deli to buy over priced foodie stuff for Marie just another cardigan to go in her over stuffed wardrobe to go with her over stuffed face. She didn't wash the cardigan. No way did she do all that in an afternoon as we know she doesn't get up till at least 1pm. Why didn't she just walk up to Baker Street tube station to get to Chelsea? She is so frugal using the bus.


On Patreon day catering even if Fanny used caterers and allowed £25 per head it would only cost her about £1500 not much from nearly 400k a year. She is so bloody mean. Why did Snorts have to come to London? They just spend spend spend and spend on themselves yet resent spending anything on guests or patreon days. I am sure the patreons will want to meet and chat with MarIE who lets face it is the majority of Fanny's content these days. Amaury the speedy Gonzales of carpentry still hasn't finished one poxy work top, just as well he's leaving if he had started the Grand Salon it would have been his life's work.

The bedlinen can't save that bedroom which is an affront to any designer. Wall lights too high, inaccessible light switches, fabric ruched and coming away from the walls. Tatty ill fitting second hand bedspread and hideous table cloth that doesn't suit the colour scheme in the room. Gosh what a mess.

Why on earth did Fanny pay Massimo Dutti to alter her horrid trousers she has a sewing machine or two. Why does she say "separates" for the love of God that expression is only used by 90 year olds. Velvet trousers ummm sure she already has some of those somewhere.

I'm not being funny but the image of her in bed is far from alluring she has skin like corned beef and her mouth looks all deformed and she just looks smelly.

 

[TorontoGWM]

 

[TorontoGWM]

She could cook and look for the chickens.

 

[Tartuffe]

If anyone knows what brand pesticide this is, please let me know. I need to make a note because it clearly doesn't work, as the biggest pest, Philip, is walking through the door!

LOL. They're both Raid. The perfect aerosol to be spraying in a kitchen.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Well done team for working together to get this new thread posted. Long ago I tried initiating a thread and got nowhere, so I may have to try and figure it out again.

Thank you as well for the honour of naming the new thread and to Tartuffe for the nomination.

Fanny, four months of non-stop travel is catching up with you, but when I said to stay home and renovate the damn shitoo, I didn't mean to retreat to your pink abysmal bedroom with an itsy, bitsy cold and be waited on like a pampered princess. Get your ass out of bed and do some real work.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

No surprise - it appears Fanny's away traveling again this week.

It's hard for Fanny to post Patreon vlogs on a Saturday because :

• she's packing on Saturday and rushing away from the shitoo for the week (after having dinner with guests on the Friday night), or
• she's rushing back to the shitoo & swooping in for cocktails just in time for Saturday night dinner with the guests

Hello from Lalande everyone!

I'm writing to let you know that this week's Patreon video will be posted on Sunday (tomorrow) again. It's made me realise that it's tricky for me to post on a Saturday during our guest season, because Friday and Saturday nights are the evenings that I spend with our guests, so I tend not to have enough time to film and edit within a single day. Would you rather I let you know each week when it will be posted, as I'm doing now, or should I just post on Saturday or Sunday depending on when it's finished? Please let me know what you'd prefer!

Lots of love to you all from Lalande,

Stephanie x

 

[ComtesseRose]

Really, just a mish mash of a room. But they thought it was fab!

You've got to give it to them, they've got ecclectic taste. It's just that their ecclectic taste is bad!

Any takers out there? You must meet these requirements though!

As others have said. Hire a catering company and be done with it.

Oh goody something new!

"Come Thrift With Me"?! Honey, you are not a twenty year old influencer, you are an almost fifty year old spinster whose idea of thrifting is buying actual antiques and claiming it to be second hand.

 

[mrsp67]

That’s what I was thinking. As much as I have high hopes for her to get her life in order one day, she’s not really trained. No one who is will want to work under her for one second.

I am not a train chef rather a sandwich master in fact before 10:25 AM today I catered lunch for three different orders. One was for 50 people which was sandwiches& salads one for 20 people which was sandwiches, garden salad, potato salad, cookies, and brownies and one was for eight people, which was cookies, sandwiches salad, potato salad, and a giant box of french fries my expertise is her patron days sandwiches, etc. But even in my days of liking CD I couldn’t flit off to France to help. I have a real job a real business so why would I go somewhere to take a free job for three days, pay your own airfare , when you have a real job to run your life. It’s very strange people that they get to come volunteer , and I believe most of them or the majority of them are wanderer people without real careers or people that are in an in between space

( talk to text as I am walking the dog. I hope it comes out correctly.)

.

 

[Tartuffe]

Something new I noticed in tonight's YT comments were the TWO "Super Thanks" donations. One was taking the mick: $5 to get a jibe in. Nice play. It won't be removed because it's $5 more for Fanny and Phyllis to spend on crap.

But the second $9.99 donation seems a plant to entice others to give. Let's see if they take the bait.

View attachment 2900044View attachment 2900045

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UPDATE on the Super Thanks donations

Isabelle's on duty today patrolling the CD comments. No surprise that the "Jerry's your brother" jibe survived her wrath. Not only is it still up, but maman thanked keithj for the gift! Of course she did. $5 is $5.

How's the new oven in your SA beach house, bitch?

 

[Fleur du mal]

Thank you for the new thread Jeeves and all the others naming it etc..

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Now Marie . . . when I give you the signal, enter stage left with my breakfast tray . . . hang on a minute while I get the camera in place, ready, action.

She doesn't enter the chapel because . . . she doesn't want the chapel restorers, 'seeing me like this'. However, it's quite all right for her viewers to see her 'like this'. Absolutely no logic. x 2.

 

[Abuela]

During the cafe tour on tonight's vlog, I was nervous to see her wave from the balcony to the queue below for fear she's suddenly (in spite of the man flu) belt out "Don't cry for me Argentina"

 

[Nettle flower]

I don't really know who here is the creator of that Lancelot Instagram, which is hilarious, by the way.
But did you notice who's following? None other than Baby (a.k.a. fake spawn of Tess)

View attachment 2899995

It must be a Tattler, and whoever it is Brava! Lancie is fantastic!

 

[TorontoGWM]

 

[UvulaDonor]

Same, with one exception, the only company i want is my sweet little pup. He lays next to me, or puts his head on me, usually sits outside the can, waiting to see if I survived the latest, er.. issue. Thankfully, he doesn’t judge.

I recently saw on Facebook:
Living with a dog 90% consists of following each other around, watching each other go potty and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

 

[Tartuffe]

Who was the idiot who thought it would be a good idea to have an intimate guest dinner in the Marquis Suite. The dinner table is squeezed in the corner with insufficient room to swing Ratso, let alone shift a dining chair. The recommended guideline is allowing 36 inches or more between the edge of your table and the wall or other furniture. This leaves room for someone to walk behind the chairs while others are seated. Imagine being shoe-horned into that table.

The marquis' suite is obviously vacant. This must be Snort's bright marketing idea to drive up reservations. You, too, can feast in a crammed corner of the overstuffed jungle room. It comes with its own curated set of china!

If it has its own china, does the suite have a kitchenette? Is there a dishwasher? I also noticed the new covering on the restored billiards table -- the gaming table that no one is allowed to use!

I actually felt slightly sorry for the guests. Trapped in there for an intimate dinner sampling FRK's culinary experiments and forced to listen to Fanny and Snorts talk about themselves; only to remove afterwards to the sofa a few feet away for more droll monologues from those wannabes, some gifted figs, and playtime with their dog in dim candlelight.

 

[TorontoGWM]

 

[Jules100]

Tweed in London (“brown in town”) - an emphatic no.
Once a jumped-up prat, always a jumped-up prat.

Was Philip trying to dress like Dan the gardener when he & Stephanie went to London together at Christmas time a few years ago and had dinner at that fancy restaurant?

Yet another cringy & creepy little getaway.

None of SJ’s trips are normal.

Weirdo.

 

[Soloand Osokosi]

Snorts bought a book about dining in a chateau. Give it to the guests then they can see what they are missing.