The Chateau Diaries #260 Stephanie Jarvis - the chatelaine of shoppin', clickbait, croc' tears & money

[OhIDontKnow...]

I guess we always knew that all SJ cares about her patrons is their money, but by putting them under that awful tent, she's just pissing on her patrons at this point!! That is simply not how you treat your financial supporters. I've attended patrons' galas/events for non-profits in NYC that get less money than SJ monthly, that put better effort to host their supporters than SJ does!

SJ Patron Days tent looked more like a gravesite ceremony!

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Even the South Florida Jewish Cemetery has better tents!
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Here you go, Steffy! https://www.chapiteaux-tixier.com/evenementiel/exposition/structure-15m

BTW, thanks, @tuffiti for sharing.

She could buy a beautiful tent and write it off against the b&b income. She could charge it to association funds as overhead expense. She will need it in the future. But she is an idiot.

 

[Tea with lemon]

Patreon day food!?

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Someone has posted to FB the screenshot of the dress and the price.

thankgod we have Brenda to tell us it’s not the same style whilst posting a different dress with the same pattern.I think even a few patrons are shocked by the price.. she Deffo did not get that at a charity shop-

Hey user who lives in low income housing - you too can shop like Stephanie ; in a charity shop ( which she spends 100’s) or you can start a blog, maybe you will take off maybe you won’t.

someone maybe half awake- tax right off! Sounds LaLande.

I am half tempted to nickname Brenda's little gang "Brendamaged" (IYKYK).

*track number nine, Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon album

 

[Abuela]

After watching the Dali Travel with friend Fanny (who is a terrible narrator),I thoroughly enjoyed Camilla doing her French upholstery course and letting the instructor actually talk without interruption. What a contrast! Ollie, please rethink your vlog and make it Travels with my Wife. What a subscriber jump he would have!

 

[C'est moi]

I also thought it was about time we made a list of the new wardrobe with prices.
Somehow I don't think Fanny buys at sales because they are now, so full price!
The sums are obviously substantial, although, on her, none of it looks like it was paid a lot.

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You have to ask yourself how someone can spend so much money on her new clothing and accessories and still look so trashy! Thrush has also had a smallish fortune spent on new clothes but continues to remain an irritating cunt.

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

FFS Michael Potts is just as annoying as smugtwat he is so affected. I really want to punch his lights out.

 

[T Rex]

At Casa de T Rex, we are going to get our pool resurfaced. The pool is a "historic pool" in that it is original to when our house was built 20 years ago. We have been going back and forth for days to the showroom of our local "artisans" to get samples and have been moving the samples back and forth in the pool to decide which colour/material to go with (on the steps, shallow end, the deepest part, in the sun, in the shade, and in front of the light at night.) Ironically, we've chosen the one our salesperson recommended. While our insurance company did give us some money (about 10% of what it will cost to resurface) when part of the pool cage fell into the pool during the hurricane and made some lovely gouges, our gunite is original, so it needed to be replaced anyway, as while it still looks great, is starting to get brittle. Our insurance company adjuster said to send him the bill after the resurface, but I don't expect them to pay to resurface my "historic pool"- Disclaimer: the pump and salt cell are newer. Having a pool is a luxury- we knew this upfront when we purchased our home, and this is just one of those costs for an amenity we use every day.

Moral of the story- buy a home you CAN afford and the maintenance costs/utilities, whether it be big or small, repair things before they become big problems, and don't expect to purchase a home above your means, nor set up a Patreon expecting the viewers of your YT channel to bail you out (looking at you, Fanny and Queen's Escape) when you realize you've purchased something you are ill equipped to handle, let alone maintain. Amanda & Lincoln are an example of doing it right- they bought a home the could afford, do the majority of the work themselves, don't use Patreon, and respect their daughters' privacy by not filming them.

When did it become the norm to be a grifter in society? I understand if one is on Patreon to produce artistic content or help save a building of historical significance (where ALL of the money goes into the renovation, vice into paying their staff in corgettes whilst they dosh out on designer clothing and go on never-ending expensive holidays, like F4F?!)

 

[Lochness Monster]

I was going to suggest that, as well!
@Lochness Monster, is it feasible to have someone come into your home, even for a half day a couple of times a week so that you can go out or even just take a nap without having to worry about him? Are there any adult day care programs, which would require he spend time away from the home (which he doesn't seem to want to do, but it might be good for him, as well as you, to get out amongst other people).

It is very expensive here, too, in the US. And, sometimes, it feels there is no in-between as far as care is concerned.

I am /we are very much at the early stages and because he has capacity he can decide….it’s an impossible situation.
What he wants are daily walks! I’m going to see if someone would be willing to accompany him. I did have someone before . It’s a responsibility that not many want….
Thank you everyone for ideas / support. Really I just want someone else to sort it all out as you know I also have struggles due to my brain injury.
life….who would ever imagine that two busy , sociable ,hardworking people who loved to holiday would find themselves seriously unwell and unable to drive when in their 50s. Life changing….I am thankful we did not wait until we retired to do things.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

How many of you people ever fancied your cousins, septuagenarian uncles, and exes who have the complexion of a dead turkey as SJ does? #sweethomealabama

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Agreed, it was very cheap.
Not even the flower petals could hide that fact.
At least it was an improvement on last year's ham and salad.

And they trotted out the croquembouche yet again.

All that bloody china Snorty & Fanny are hoarding, but no dessert plates to serve the croquembouche. Instead just line up with your paper serviettes at the buffet table to grab a bite. How (un)classy!
All that crap about purchasing multiple place settings for 50 that can be used on Patron Day - all BS! Snorty just has a shopping addiction!

 

[C'est moi]

Thank you @ComtesseRose for setting up the new thread. Congrats to @TorontoGWM and @Just Grift Wood for the title.

Already lots to pick apart from Despicable fanny! From the woe is me, poor Percy is ill to the Patreon day(s). Is there more than one?

Inmates seem to outnumber visitors. I see they really pushed the boat out again this year with the nasty sticky lapel name labels! And the tent... Ffs. Just imagine a lovely white or cream marquee on that lawn. Decorated with swathes of flowers created by MariE. But no, a fucking WWII mess tent and school chairs is the best they come up with.

I guess Stuart was on board to do the food as MariA only works weekends! Maybe she's on a work to rule. Begrudgingly mingling with the visitors. Stuart will cadge a lift with the m&m's as that's where she'll be for a few weeks. I'll watch the Patreon flog later. Maybe. Gross bisou @tuffiti for uploading

Get the message, patreons, she's had a year to organise (after the massive sucess of last years) and this is the best she can come up with! Top society weddings have been arranged in less time with more glamour and class. She doesn't like you, she just wants your money.

Tattle on

 

[M&MsMom]

Stuart isn't my cup of tea, but the girl really can cook! Has credentials and everything. She does shop locally and goes to markets in her real life and even when at Manor & Maker, doing their catering, she posted a lot of stuff on Insta in her dailies of her going to the local outdoor markets. She films herself doing so all the time. It's clear she did not do so at la Lande. Why is that?

It's obvious to me that the sparseness and weird combinations of food that we see and blame Marie for sometimes is really a Stephanie thing because Stephanie is CHEAP. This was about the cheapest looking meal to thank Patrons for their patronage, just like last year. At least Stuart was there to make it taste better, if that's possible, and not Maria, who probably would have tried too hard.

My dad was Greek, first generation born in America. I ate lamb a lot growing up. I have never, ever seen lamb shredded or chopped up like dog food and served the way it was today. Just another way Stephanie had Stuart make a little go a long way. Marie would have flowered it all up, made a tart out of it, made it something really complicated to make it more than it was.

Still, a cheap meal. But better than last year, I would say.

 

[Le Baiseur]

Fanny, for next year, instead of having your patrons lunching school cafeteria style at long tables under a fugly borrowed tent, yuou can use my idea.

It's the tired overhead umbrella thing (but your basic Patrons will eat it up.) String up wires over the fountain courtyard using the tree support structure and hang umbrellas. Place bistro tables of various sizes everywhere. During lunch, you can walk from table to table to greet and interact with the folks that pay your bills (just like a Disney princess does at a character buffet in one of those god-awful parks.)
And hire a mellow jazzy band.

Bonus idea:
Light the woodland trails with your cast off Barbie party dresses.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Imagine how absolutely shameless you must be to wear a 860 euro dress while having people over that are paying for the upkeep of your home.

not to mention the £2k computer case. She is shameless and I am ashamed I ever thought she was a pleasant woman she is utterly deplorable. She honestly now feels entitled to having her renovations paid for and wouldn't dream of putting her hand in her pocket just like her pimping co owners,

 

[ComtesseRose]

Sorry I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them. They may be well off, but they're deep in the grift.

 

[Fleur du mal]

Fanny reminds me of a friend who said she would drive nothing less than a Porsche. She got herself an old model for little money but placing her car keys on the table had the desired effect... the same with Fanny -a manky mansion, ill-fitting designer dresses still her admirers enablers think she's perfect.

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

Her ill fitting dress has been bothering me so much, I decided to give her fashion advice and another brand to buy!

Steph… let’s face it, your waist is wider than your ass, and you need to tuck one in and emphasize the other, whilst putting your tatas into something that actually fits them. I give you the designer, Teuta Matoshi.

They have 100s of designs, they will custom make them to your measurements, and they are expensive enough to satisfy your vanity. (She also made the famous strawberry dress… edit: actually, her sister, Lirika Matoshi designed the strawberry dress! Sorry!)

I recommend something like these two, but maybe in a different colour that doesn’t wash out your dull blond hair and pasty/burnt skin!

Lavender Romance Dress

Details: -Lavender tulle with printed flowers -Plunging V-neck -Draping -Cinched waist -Tea-length -A-line silhouette -Side pockets -Medium puff sleeves -Green velvet ribbon belt at waist

www.teutamatoshi.com

Cherry Blossom Parfait Midi Dress

Details: - Baby pink chiffon with printed gilded flowers -Corset with fitting boning -Draped Wrap top -A-line silhouette -Tea-length - Gathered skirt with side pockets -Decorative cummerbund that ties as a bow

www.teutamatoshi.com

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.
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PS. I wore this to a wedding last year and it’s the girliest thing I’ve ever owned

Ivy Greenhouse Dress

Details: -Delicate white lace fabric embroidered with blooming flowers, leaves, and butterflies -Corset with built-in pads and boning -Midi-length skirt with inseam pockets

www.teutamatoshi.com

Ooh that dress is gorgeous! Bet you looked amazing!
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I think poor Fanny just needs to accept she’s nearly 50, and the weight is shifting and since she refuses to exercise, she needs to change her wardrobe. She will not ever be able to get rid of her middle without dropping 15 lbs, and she will never drop it if she continues to drink like a fish. She therefore needs to wear body skimming clothes, not sausage tubes. She could even go body con on top and flowy from the boobs down. She also needs to understand you only show one part of your body at a time or you look like a harlot. You don’t show arms and legs at the same time. You don’t show arms and boobs and legs at the same time. Just boobs. Just arms. Just legs. Looking clean is probably the first thing she needs to work on. Mangy hair will ruin all outfits. Also, no heels on grass darling. No one wants to see you dragging a piece of sod around on yer shoe. Ballet flats are hot again, Chanel has them, go buy some with the chapel funds.

 

[Patriciarella]

The M.A.S.H. tent would’ve been a great place for Selmar to have tango night.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

GANGSTA GRANNIES CONVENTION aka Lalande's Patreon Day!
Reminiscent of SJ's childhood spent in a nursing home screwing retirees for monies, and gratified PhiPhi's massive fetish for geriatrics!
Overall, it was a fun day for both of them!

 

[Granola Chic]

Haven't commented in weeks. But, trying to keep up with the comments.
Patreon Day nearly did me in with its nasty food and shabby tents...
A picture of my cake for Dad turning 91 today!
(Lemon cake with a lemon frosting concoction
We're also having:
Chicken kabobs on the grill marinated in Greek yogurt and herbs
Tomato Pie
Cucumber Salad
Freshly baked yeast rolls

Fanny and Friends...it's not so hard to create fresh, healthy food.