The Chateau Diaries #232 Daffodils are not the only micro thing at the shatto

[Gertrude Maud]

Snorty - Architectural Expertise????? (What is that girl smoking????) I just want to slap Snorty - really hard!

At bit later she corrects herself saying . . . Philip has a passion for architecture.
Quite different to having 'architectural expertise'.

 

[Dragomiroff]

So.... I almost died!
My dark black witchy heart decided to stop due to a couple of measly blood clots... and kept me in ICU for 4 days, and a few more days in hospital and I was finally allowed to come back home 3 days ago.

My darling mother in law is ensuring I don't lift a finger and my boyfriend has threatened to handcuff me to bed should I even attempt to do anything but rest. Although I'm not strictly against the handcuffs, I had to accept I'm only allowed a mobile just for communication... no work whatsoever!

Now…. Tell me what I missed? I should really teach more of you how to screen grab the Patreon videos... what if I had died and you were left Patreon-less? Quelle horreur! I'll post a "How To" as soon as I'm allowed a laptop!

Phew! - you are alive! I hope you’re getting stronger with every day. Godspeed to your recovery Karma Baby!

 

[Gertrude Maud]

I know I keep bringing this up, but some of those plates are so far gone, that I am positive they stink to high heaven. The glaze has failed and they soak up foul dishwater. They are unsuitable to eat off of and probably unsafe as well. Display them, fine. I love the look of distressed transferware. But good grief do not serve food on them, especially to guests.

I like antique Pheasant Ware but those stained plates are well beyond their use by date.
If the food doesn't make some of them ill, the plates will.

 

[JackSpratt]

Says Fanny:
I think the teapot was the only thing that we truly didn’t need. Oh duck off you lying bint.
I’m on a savings spree not a spending spree. Again duck off you delusional harpy.

This oh so pretty stool that PhiPhi bought will look so good in the grand salon. No I’ll tell you what would look good in the grand salon Fanny would be walls, walls that are attached to the ceiling not just floating with no structural support and are not covered in unnecessary panelling that has to be cut down to fit into the space, thus losing all their sense of proportion and style.
Then PhiPhi has to buy every photo frame because they remind him of his grandparents. What with the 7 lamps for the hallway and all the crap they bought at the brocante they spent more money in 1 day than any normal person would spend in 1 month. And this is just what we saw them buy, who knows what else was bought either at the market or online. Saving spree my arse.
And next week we will get the sob story of how expensive the chapel restoration is going to be, so much more than was expected, so much more than has been put aside. But don’t you worry patreons you must remember that Fanny has said it is her duty to ensure that she restores the chateau so that future generations can enjoy it, so whatever the cost she will see it through to the end. With fortitude, perseverance and maybe even extreme personal sacrifice. Yeah right!
And by the way you pretentious show off those hot cross buns looked awful, dry as an old boot.

You said it all. That had to be the most ridiculous statement from her not spending any money because of the Chapel, what a liar! He just about managed to get in a Grandfather mention before she cut him off.

Now is it just me or did the 'footstool' that the onsight 'antiques expert' said was 20th century, just look like the base of a normal chair with the back cut off.

Did they buy the Gien lampbases?

Regards the hallway lights, didn't that tosser buy a load from somewhere a while back that were going to be for there. They buy so much tit now they can't remeber what they've got.

She really needs to stop filming her face first thing in the morning, not a good look at all.

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

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Bob's face says it all!
Notice the chain across the top of the crumbling terrace steps.

Weren’t these crumbling steps going to be repaired this April? I’m sure that’s what Fanny said in a previous vlog. Paying guests arriving in days now and what a state everywhere is. Rooms and corridors with no ceilings, walls falling down, windows broken, no go areas that have to be roped off and a level of cleanliness on a par with the squalor of Dharavi Slum Mumbai. Welcome idiots just look what you are getting for your Sweet duck all.

 

[JackSpratt]

And the award for worst dressed gay goes to…

View attachment 2098615

At one stage he was becoming Roy Wood but now he's definitely morphing into Tiny Tim and he can go for a tip toe through the Tulips.....a long never ending tip toe.

---

So.... I almost died!
My dark black witchy heart decided to stop due to a couple of measly blood clots... and kept me in ICU for 4 days, and a few more days in hospital and I was finally allowed to come back home 3 days ago.

My darling mother in law is ensuring I don't lift a finger and my boyfriend has threatened to handcuff me to bed should I even attempt to do anything but rest. Although I'm not strictly against the handcuffs, I had to accept I'm only allowed a mobile just for communication... no work whatsoever!

Now…. Tell me what I missed? I should really teach more of you how to screen grab the Patreon videos... what if I had died and you were left Patreon-less? Quelle horreur! I'll post a "How To" as soon as I'm allowed a laptop!

OMG!! so glad you're on the mend now, how frightening. xxxxxxx

 

[LurkingMeg]

I got a recent YouTube comment and wondered if it was from Kirsty’s “secret” YouTube profile.

View attachment 2099017

IS THERE A TRANSLATOR IN THE HOUSE?!

 

[Fennelbug]

and so Tatyana cuts ties with the campervan life. No Chateau, No go.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Can anyone help identify these mystery guests?

 

[Pekey]

Now is it just me or did the 'footstool' that the onsight 'antiques expert' said was 20th century, just look like the base of a normal chair with the back cut off.

Thank you !!!
I thought it was a chair with the back missing too .
What a fool and ....... he was wearing the right costume to buy that old seat in too...... can you imagine the sellers laughing all the way to the bank !
---

She really needs to stop filming her face first thing in the morning, not a good look at all.

Your right there too .......... she really is looking like her old crow of a Mother now ! '''''''no crows so a bat will do too !!!

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Ella's the only one smart enough to hide her face and hang her head in shame out of embarrassment of being filmed on Fanny's pink phone.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

I garden in a lot of clay soil. It is considered not the best, but there are so many nutrients in it that plants really need, so I don't find it a challenge. When I add new plants, I dig the hole, add a little peat to hole, mix it up with the native soil and then plant my plant. The first year I moved into my home, it was brand new, bought from the builder. We rototilled garden beds, added greensand and peat, and in the hottest, sunniest part of my yard that first year, I grew nothing but sunflowers. The roots dig deep into the clay and after they bloomed, I cut them off at ground level and let the roots overwinter under about 3-4" of shredded pine mulch. The roots broke down in the soil, adding organic matter. Adding peat is always a good idea but like @Lochness Monster said, mulching with an organic mulch over the winter adds a nice layer that will break down and improve your soil. Adding grit (what we call sand here in the US) can be a recipe for disaster......grit + clay = pottery. (You'll end up with very hard soil that bakes in the sun!). Enough said there!

My advice is to have fun with it and just enjoy the process!

thank you that's great
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Clay soil is very difficult to cultivate, it is cold for a long time in the spring and hard to dry, but it retains moisture for a long time in the summer.
My experience: Put a lot of organic matter in the hole when planting, fertilize the plants several times a season and water thoroughly once a week.
I grow vegetables in such soil (tomatoes, peppers, zucchini - everything that needs a lot of water) and during the hottest days and during drought I water thoroughly once every ten days.
In the worst drought, mulch also helps, it slows down the heating and drying of the soil.
The secret is in less frequent, but abundant watering, because this way the plants develop deeper roots in search of water.

thank you
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Would you like fries with that sense of entitlement

Would you like fries with that sense of entitlement

 

[Alice Strictknickers]

Can anyone help identify these mystery guests?

The first one is Julia from Lady of the Chateau.

https://www.theladyofthechateau.com/

 

[Iolair]

The Chateau Puy Vidal vlog popped up on my feed. I will give them this- Carolina and Julia are certainly running an organized operation- securing licenses to serve food and alcohol (I highly doubt Fanny has either), meeting with the plumber to install the remaining sprinkler system, ice machine new hot water heaters and making repairs. Fanny, take note- dry erase boards with projects prioritized on them, and Carolina has a folder full of checklists/paperwork. Penelope's swingset aerial rig arrived, and Maruca and Bob helped her set it up- it's an odd thing to have in a chateau courtyard, but at least it can be taken down. The family head to the Shittiest Little Whorehouse in France, which looks pretty depressing when they pull up. The family walks around the perimeter, and Bob does not look impressed. Cut to the next day- Carolina, Julia and Penelope awake in the children's bedroom Snorts' study, which showcases what a dump it is (what is going on with the door and frame on the right?) They head to the kitchen in search of croissants and coffee- where they arrive to an empty but messy kitchen- ah, apparently they missed the memo that Fanny does not provide brekkie for her guests. The family heads out to La Chatre to find a proper meal, and sightsee. Back at the Shitoo, the girls head to dinner, where Tess stands alone drinking by the fireplace, trying to stay warm, while Fanny and Snorts stand off by themselves, where Fanny is a vision to be beheld dressed as a pink blob. Easter Sunday- the girls help set up, along with the other guests (Fanny was probably still asleep), and Snorts looked like a deranged Puss in Boots disguised as a rabbit as he pranced about setting the cutlery. The family is forced to don the filthy ears of Easters past, and go about on the egg hunt, where they find a ton of candy. Carolina remarks, "Oh my goodness- you guys- aren't you embarrassed?" Penelope (who is still acts like she is 5) remarks she re-hid like 5. Carolina reminds them to share with the kids. Later, back in their room, Julia films and tries to say nice things about the room- LOL, Carolina (looking very unimpressed) refers to the doors as "vampire coffin doors". Downstairs to lunch, where buffet dishes sat in the sun for lord knows how long- not a chafing dish in sight. After lunch, the family decided to escape, and had to stop at a rest stop to charge their cars and get snacks because we all know full well they were all probably wise enough to eschew most of the lunch offerings. Once they arrive home, Julia asks who wants wine... Hahaha! The next day, Julia explains Snorts will be coming to visit them to offer his architectural "expertise"- I felt she was being polite, as there is really no way in hell Bob is going to take anything this clown says seriously. Like a bad penny, Snorts turns up. Hey Snorts, how about fixing the things at La Lande- like bad hospitality, structural issues, and terrible food? Julia and Carolina are obviously doing a much better job- they should be coaching YOU. Le fin.

The Puy Vidals arrival at lieLande was super strange. No-one to greet them and left to wander the perimeter of the dump alone. Someone in the distance disappearing into a door. Them remarking on how cold it was - always freezing at lieLande, yes, that was their welcome. Contrast this to how Fanny greeted the Smugs and kids the previous year when she practically ran to their car all smiles. Obviously the Smugs rate higher in the pecking order due to the fact of having more followers than the Puy Vidals. Fanny basking in the Smugs reflected glory, much? Fanny must believe the Puy Vidals don't, in contrast, bring much to the table, as she herself is not there to greet them.

Philip's study? What a joke! An over-crowded incoherent mismatch of junk and dead animals that tells you everything he doesn't know about interior design.

Then we have the slug named Philip Janssen (who I secretly believe drugged the Puy Vidals, mesmerising them into believing he has some expertise in interior design) further compounding his bizarre design and decor ideas by turning up actually invited to their chateau... I would not have believed that part possible. Very disappointed in them. Badly done Puy Vidal. Badly done indeed!

Back to the Avensac guys and to Amanda and Lincoln - the only two chateau channels worth watching right now.

 

[C'est moi]

So.... I almost died!
My dark black witchy heart decided to stop due to a couple of measly blood clots... and kept me in ICU for 4 days, and a few more days in hospital and I was finally allowed to come back home 3 days ago.

My darling mother in law is ensuring I don't lift a finger and my boyfriend has threatened to handcuff me to bed should I even attempt to do anything but rest. Although I'm not strictly against the handcuffs, I had to accept I'm only allowed a mobile just for communication... no work whatsoever!

Now…. Tell me what I missed? I should really teach more of you how to screen grab the Patreon videos... what if I had died and you were left Patreon-less? Quelle horreur! I'll post a "How To" as soon as I'm allowed a laptop!

Oh @Karma baby! You can't going dying, you're integral to tattle. Seriously that's some scary tit. So glad you're home and being made to rest. And continue to rest. So good to have you back

 

[Alice Strictknickers]

So.... I almost died!
My dark black witchy heart decided to stop due to a couple of measly blood clots... and kept me in ICU for 4 days, and a few more days in hospital and I was finally allowed to come back home 3 days ago.

My darling mother in law is ensuring I don't lift a finger and my boyfriend has threatened to handcuff me to bed should I even attempt to do anything but rest. Although I'm not strictly against the handcuffs, I had to accept I'm only allowed a mobile just for communication... no work whatsoever!

Now…. Tell me what I missed? I should really teach more of you how to screen grab the Patreon videos... what if I had died and you were left Patreon-less? Quelle horreur! I'll post a "How To" as soon as I'm allowed a laptop!

Oh my goodness! Very scary, I know what this is like myself. Lots of rest, do you hear?! Hope you will be feeling on top of the world again soon!

 

[Just Grift Wood]

So.... I almost died!
My dark black witchy heart decided to stop due to a couple of measly blood clots... and kept me in ICU for 4 days, and a few more days in hospital and I was finally allowed to come back home 3 days ago.

My darling mother in law is ensuring I don't lift a finger and my boyfriend has threatened to handcuff me to bed should I even attempt to do anything but rest. Although I'm not strictly against the handcuffs, I had to accept I'm only allowed a mobile just for communication... no work whatsoever!

Now…. Tell me what I missed? I should really teach more of you how to screen grab the Patreon videos... what if I had died and you were left Patreon-less? Quelle horreur! I'll post a "How To" as soon as I'm allowed a laptop!

We have all missed you and were getting a bit worried. What a horrible experience, have they put you on blood thinners, do they know why you got the clots? Are you feeling better and resting. With blood clots you need to ensure you always stay hydrated lots and lots of water every day at least two litres. You poor thing. Also bed rest is not the best thing you need to mobilise not go mad but walk around keep the blood flowing. Thank goodness you are through the worst and can enjoy some handcuff and blindfold action in a few weeks xxxxxxxxxxxx
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I bet Fanny wished she had that sex toy to play on in the gardens at Lalande - she'd get more use out of it than the Jardain Anglaise

I wish they hadn't cut the Mum out when they were driving up to the shitoo - wonder what she really thinks of the dump

Since when is 2.19 minutes a very long drive? And they took a 1 hour rest stop??? 2 hr 19 min (172.7 km) via D951

Dad, without saying a word, tell us what you really think about the shitoo!

PV Mum, best RBF ever!!!

The shitoo is not unspoiled. It's dead quiet because you're in the M of BFN and Fanny has destroyed the landscape!

Snorty in his natural habitat: bringing the cheque after dinner and setting the table for the lunchtime rush.

Kim Raad wearing a sexy backless black number and Fanny wearing a gawd awful 1980's 'Not Pretty in Pink' number

The Bunny Ears aren't adorable - they're filthy! (Ladies avoid at all cost)

Snorty - Architectural Expertise????? (What is that girl smoking????) I just want to slap Snorty - really hard!


View attachment 2098935

Look at the terrace step where the dad is standing that has gotten so much worse it honestly looks ready to fall
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Just out of curiosity...
From about 6 years old on, it was my job to set the table. If the fork was askew my mom would ask, "What would Emily Post say?"




Wazzup here with the napkin under the knife...?
View attachment 2099028

napkins should be on the left the boy knows jack tit

 

[Iolair]

Bloody hell! A bow and arrows? Was the alleged would be squatter from the Netherlands and did his name begin with S?


(Damn... visiting kids awake and wanting brekkie. Back to the grindstone). Bye bye my lovelies!

 

[Tea with lemon]

I got a recent YouTube comment and wondered if it was from Kirsty’s “secret” YouTube profile.

View attachment 2099017

Can someone translate this. I do not understand anything.

@Karma baby! I'm glad you're okay. We were really worried.

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

You said it all. That had to be the most ridiculous statement from her not spending any money because of the Chapel, what a liar! He just about managed to get in a Grandfather mention before she cut him off.

Now is it just me or did the 'footstool' that the onsight 'antiques expert' said was 20th century, just look like the base of a normal chair with the back cut off.

Did they buy the Gien lampbases?

Regards the hallway lights, didn't that tosser buy a load from somewhere a while back that were going to be for there. They buy so much tit now they can't remeber what they've got.

She really needs to stop filming her face first thing in the morning, not a good look at all.

She’s so red. Part of that has to be all the alcohol. For goodness sakes, just take a few thousand of the Patreon money and go to a good makeup counter and buy the stuff that gets rid of the red. The nice lady at the store can help you. Then, quit showing yourself in bed and show yourself putting your face on for the day. You’re welcome.