The Chateau Diaries #210 PhiPhi. He's the first Real Housewife of Lalande

[Just Grift Wood]

There should be warning signs outside the shitoo saying - 'DANGER AHEAD - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK', and that's just not only because the building is about the fall down.

Dan was like so many others pumped up on the fraudulent communal expectation of life, love, laugh. They arrive at the shitoo blissfully happy, eager and exuberant. Initially they find a family and feel they've found a home, have a purpose and can build a future. But inevitably they're no longer the shiny new play thing and eventually their shine wears off, their usefulness wains, boredom sets in and they begin to lose Fanny's fleeting attentions. The disposal process begins and slowly, ever so slowly, their spirits are crushed, their dreams are deflated like used condoms balloons, and their self-esteem is squeezed out until they become just another reject and one of Fanny's discarded, broken toys.

Selmar.....Marie.....Dan.....and many others before.

Smart ones likes Ian the builder or Kat escape on their own and learn to keep their distance. If Dan were smart he'd make his escape now, move far away from the shitoo and take Annalise and his boys with him.

It will be interesting to see who will be invited to Venice and Easter I suspect Manor and Maker are yesterdays friends I think she will be reaching out to Beau Chateau soon

 

[huydecirku]

I was watching an old vlog


I find it remarkable how different she is with Michael vs Phillip.

With Philipp it is all about cluttering up their space with things which probably won't be used more than a handful of times, with Michael she seems to genuinely have fun and she buys things for herself to enjoy like the lipstick. MPK was good for her.

 

[HalcyonOrganic]

I was watching an old vlog


I find it remarkable how different she is with Michael vs Phillip.

With Philipp it is all about cluttering up their space with things which probably won't be used more than a handful of times, with Michael she seems to genuinely have fun and she buys things for herself to enjoy like the lipstick. MPK was good for her.

Yes…everything was better with Michael around. He made someone feel important and being loved

 

[mrsp67]

Thanks to my fellow NW neighbor @Karma baby! I have now officially watched 4 chateau patreon vids in the last 24hrs and I'm not a patron! Oh and I've only watched 2 of CD YouTube videos in the last year
Whatcha think of that Stephanie????

That’s funny.

---

I was watching an old vlog


I find it remarkable how different she is with Michael vs Phillip.

With Philipp it is all about cluttering up their space with things which probably won't be used more than a handful of times, with Michael she seems to genuinely have fun and she buys things for herself to enjoy like the lipstick. MPK was good for her.

Old old flogs are so much better

 

[john eccles]

As usual with him it's being done arse about face. It's certainly not how our roof was done when the place was renovated. We had the roof double insulated and it's been well worth it. I'm waiting for there to be a serious accident there, just hope it's not one of the boys ones who gets hurt.

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Well, he said he didn't like being an adult and he really is proving to everyone just how much of an adult he isn't. He won't be able to afford an Architect that's for sure. Still puzzled as to why he left Grandad's place, did Grandad kick him out?

Would have been money and time better spent to properly renovate the little cottage as it was, make the garden more presentable and attactive and then sell it. He's going to gain nothing financially from what he's doing as anyone with half a brain who would buy the place will want proof that this work is covered (decinale insurance) should there be any issues after the sale.

Also has anyone else notice this dipshit went out a bought a cheap scaffold tower, when there's actually a heavier duty one in pieces (would have been cheaper to get the relevant bits for that) just dumped in the garden r, ight opposite where he's currently working. He has zero respect for anything.

Jack, never in my puff have I ever seen a roof constructed like that! Even now not one part of it is secured to the existing building. Unbelievable. You make the roof trusses on the ground, raise them individually then secure a ridge pole to the trusses and finally secure the trusses to the wall plate. As it stands, the roof is secured to duck all. What an asshole. You are also correct in what you say, if a surveyor inspected any part of the construction they would issue a destruction order end of story.

 

[Definitely Maybe]

Dan needs to set up a renovation business and call it 'Bodgeit and Scarper'

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

Jack, never in my puff have I ever seen a roof constructed like that! Even now not one part of it is secured to the existing building. Unbelievable. You make the roof trusses on the ground, raise them individually then secure a ridge pole to the trusses and finally secure the trusses to the wall plate. As it stands, the roof is secured to duck all. What an asshole. You are also correct in what you say, if a surveyor inspected any part of the construction they would issue a destruction order end of story.

Yeah and now it’s got membrane nailed to it, so in a high wind that witch can get airborne and fall on the kids.

 

[Jeeves]

S

No not flowering yet-who is Kim Raad?

Several of my camelias have been flowering since Christmas, where they are sheltered. My mum's are too. We are on the coast

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Honey, Dan wouldn't be your son! You would've nipped any of that poor behavior long, long ago. It probably would never have even started if he was your son. BTW, those $1 houses in Italy are no bargain, and you sign a contract that states you will have it renovated in a prescribed period or face fines. I doubt if he is paying any child support, how could he? So, if and when he does make some money, Annalise can come after him for back payments, but I wonder about her too. She has allowed him to be the way he is without any visible consequences other than saying we are no longer a couple, live somewhere else.

I have a difficult time giving Annalise a pass on her relationship with Dan. As someone pointed out a few threads back, it takes two to tango. Both of them were in that relationship, so both bear some responsibility. And we’ve only been able to see what they’ve shown us. Not giving Dan a pass either. His personality just makes him so easy to dislike. That whole UK laddie behavior of the early 2000’s is very unattractive. Dan is just egocentric enough to feature his douche baggery and cut out anything that would’ve painted Annalise in a more evenhanded light. It’s easy to judge on the incomplete evidence of 5-20 minutes vlogs.

---

Well, we've all had some drama and trauma in our childhoods, but when you finally become an adult, it's time to own up and get on with it. Not easy, but doable. I have a brother that is still stuck in his angry at dad stage of life even though he is in his 60s and dad is dead.

Quoting mom again, but folks need to understand “the statute of limitations on your childhood has run out”.

 

[LittleMore Cottage]

Isn't the dump

and ultimately is not going make him happy either., He could spend 20 years or more on it and by then he is retirement age with nothing to show for it but becoming a modern day Stig of the Dump. We can all fall in love with a property but you need enough money to renovate and live, Dan has neither. I suspect his kids will grow up with bad teeth and a lot of resentment.

isn't the dump an hour or more away??? How does that work when one doesn't have a job or car. Lot of petrol driving back and forth.....he definitely is not thinking of his family/kids... Long term its a time, energy and money suck

 

[JackSpratt]

remember F4F’s acting debut in the unreleased 2014 film The Mutterer filmed at the Dump.Enjoy! Press watch on the video, it will take you to Vimeo.



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Dan is a LieLande MVP…manless, vanless, and planless.
Ironically, Phi Phi is a LieLande MVP also.

Oh dear

 

[Just Grift Wood]

I have a difficult time giving Annalise a pass on her relationship with Dan. As someone pointed out a few threads back, it takes two to tango. Both of them were in that relationship, so both bear some responsibility. And we’ve only been able to see what they’ve shown us. Not giving Dan a pass either. His personality just makes him so easy to dislike. That whole UK laddie behavior of the early 2000’s is very unattractive. Dan is just egocentric enough to feature his douche baggery and cut out anything that would’ve painted Annalise in a more evenhanded light. It’s easy to judge on the incomplete evidence of 5-20 minutes vlogs.

---


Quoting mom again, but folks need to understand “the statute of limitations on your childhood has run out”.

You meet a Dan virtually daily in every pub in England

 

[JackSpratt]

There 'might' be someone there.
From January 5 until January 16 @field.focused has been posting from HMN on her instagram.
A Tattler thought some of her early posts when she initially started posting were reposted older pics.
Her January 13 post showed forsythia and camellias in the garden bed under the pergola.
I wasn't sure if this was again a repost of an old pic.
Also I wasn't sure if forsythia and camellia are flowering in the northern hemisphere as yet.

Neither a flowering in my garden and I'm 3hrs north of Fanny's place.

 

[Iolair]

I am not a huge Dan fan but I do feel sorry for him at the moment-he has really messed up but don't we all in life. He has got carried away and bought into a dream that is definitely not achievable. The Fanny brigade have gone to his head and we are all influenced by the people we hang around with, unfortunately he is in with a crowd who don't have his best interests at heart- you can imagine them all encouraging this folly.His association with Fanny has been so detrimental with them all blowing smoke up his scrawny arse-he believes he too is special a cinematographer, an influencer etc etc

Dan's fans have a lot to answer for as well. They cannot see the trouble he's gotten himself into through his association with Fanny. Apart from sometimes advising him on wearing proper safety gear, his fans continually talk up his (very limited) skills, continually boost his ego, and continually tell him they love and have faith in him. All this has gone to his head. It's great to have dreams but to act on them with no skill set, no plan and no finances (with a contingency in place) is as stupid as all duck. It's his fans, more than Fanny, that have built up his ego - when what is ultimately needed is for someone needs to smash his stupid "I'm a big deal on YouTube" mug and talk some real sense into him.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

That’s funny.

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Old old flogs are so much better

definitely had her lips done since this flog her lips are much fuller now

 

[lolander]

There is no responsible way she should be allowed to oversee spending any funds for structural work done to her CHMN anymore. If her “association” to restore the farmhouse has any legal standing, surely she has to be at least put under guardianship of someone with actual knowledge of the situation. Could that be the business that is keeping her mother from joining her husband in SA? I doubt it, as Isabelle Jarvis has never shared one bit of love for the place with her manic daughter and as far as she’s concerned the whole thing better collapsed today so they can be done with it.

The accounts of the association were a complete mess. Maybe the taxman has ordered the Lalande association to be dissolved?

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Patreon comments: AKA people who are barking mad


Michael T
6d
While I'm posting a flurry of comments I'll add this one: Do you think the British Museum would appreciate a loan of Michael's exceptional chess pieces for its Egyptian Antiquities display? As for Philips woefully damaged armchair, I'll reserve judgment until a reveal of the finished work. He may prove himself to be a miracle worker yet again.


MaryEllen Meekins
6d
Wow wee what an exciting episode! I think that was the first time we have seen you vacuum on video. Teasing! I know you clean, but honestly, I'm so happy we can help pay for cleaners at LaLande so you don't have to worry about that task. Thanks for including your commute time & fish and chips. I really enjoy these simple elements in your videos. Makes them more fun. Cool! I've been eating fish and chips for, well, my whole life just under a different name! It's called a fish basket here on the Outer Banks of NC USA. It comes with deep fat fried fish fillets, fries (chips), coleslaw, tartar sauce, and/or cocktail sauce. Safe travels!

2


Hope Grable
6d
So many beautiful things, Stephanie!! You both have exquisite taste. Lalande is in very very good hands. I'm honestly not sure what pieces I like most, but I think the beautiful dishes Philip bought will always come in handy at the chateau. Things occasionally break, as you well know. I agree having more of something is better than not having enough. Those kind gentlemen really came in handy. Too bad they couldn't help you unpack as well. Safe travels to you. I hope you're already warm and snug at Lalande.

Well it’s nice to see MaryEllen Meekins is from North Carolina. Maybe she and Caroline Goody-Two-Shoes can get together for viewing parties. It’ll be easier for the keepers from the nearest insane asylum to catch both with the same dart gun!

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Came home early from work started watching this and dozed off-seriously. Th curtains are hideous-all the soft furnishing so matchy matchy no textures or contrast or making it look evolved . The scale of pelmet all wrong as are the grey/taupe walls with fabric- all the scale is off with the prints too. So twee and tacky with the hideous chairs looks like a care home. Curtains unlined and tacky bed ewww I feel my eyes may not recover. Even the furniture layout is so wrong. Oh well they try

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Back in the late 70's and early 80's when my husband and I started holidaying in France together we used to stop in what we called French France hotels en route to our destination. They were indeed la France France profonde. There were no ensuite bathrooms or private toilets. Depending on the size of the hotel there would be one toilet per floor or two floors and a bathroom for all! The toilet was generally a hideous black hole of a pokey cupboard with no windows, no wash hand basin and a light that was on a timer with the switch situated outside! But I digress. The main point of this post was the decor of the bedroom. The wallpapers nearly always seemed to be in shades of brown and orange. And they weren't just on the wall. The ceiling would be papered with the same paper as would panels of the doors, wardrobes and bed head. And, of course, the disgusting toning nylon carpet. Those hotels have virtually disappeared and been replaced by faceless chain hotels with no character situated at every motorway exit. I do still feel nostalgic for those little hotels. There was always an excellent evening meal and copious breakfast and they were nearly always in little villages or town centres that begged to be explored and are now just passed by.

People seem to gave forgotten that hotels are not the destination, the place is.

 

[juniperroad]

CD is not growing.

The Smugs: 354 000 subscribers
The Petherdicks: 248 000 subs

No growth channels:
Fanny, 214 000 and Michael, 240 000 subs

I agree with you that her youtube is stagnant. I'm not surprised that How to Reno does well - he was a professional filmmaker. Billy is pretty surprising and his total views are even higher than theirs (he has 35 mil, they have 31 mil). I'm sure per monthly views they make a lot more than Billy and Steph. She still crushes on patreon.

As someone who dislikes filming herself - I find it interesting how well some of these people work youtube (even with lots of haters). It will be interesting to see how youtube changes in the coming years and how it affects all these creators.