The Chateau Diaries #205 Nutty's Ma put more $ into her sagging bosom, than SJ did in her sagging beams

[UvulaDonor]

Great time lapse from Escape to the Nightmare on how to install a dated 1990’s kitchen! They sure know how to do things on a budget. I admire their work ethic but they’ve got the taste combo of Angie from Chateau Strife and that British couple from DIY with a tea room who can’t sell their chateau.

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I just watched that and the back splash was most jarring............ 2 lines of white subway tiles on green wall?? I can't believe Terry didn't kick up a stink over that decision.

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Ok, back from my lil Key West trip and way behind on page 10 of 28. Here’s a sneak peek of where Key West will lower drag queen Sushi down in a giant red high heel at midnight est on New Year’s Eve.
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Congratulations @Gertrude Maud, you did it! What are your fondest and most embarrassing moments as a tartlet?

Mummy has a Gucci throw blanket and Stuart has a Gucci headband that make appearances around the same time….

Thanks Jules.
Hmmm.
I have had many fond moments I am happy to say, and embarrassing, none . . . as yet.

 

[Nina Rose]

I don't know much about insurance, but I would think it difficult to get any for that monstrosity. So does that mean she doesn't have liability insurance either? Surely, she must have it in order to run the BnB?

Well the b n b,would be a different type.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

You forgot to add: Andrew & Ricardo (well, I guess when they left, that is where they put Snort's parents), Dan, Kat, and Gerry. I still feel like we are missing a few. Goodness, are Amaury and Herr Nuti sleeping in the workshop?!?

Dan/Dana,Tess and creepy doll?

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Uncle before he was baptised in the Lalande chateau diaries culture

My god. He really did go to the dark side.

 

[Kickintheass]

Happy for your brothers!
My parents have a lot of Catholic friends (mostly New Yorkers of Italian and Irish descent) who, at the height of the sexual abuse scandals involving the clergy, said they couldn't leave the church. For them, leaving the Catholic Church felt like turning away from who they are. The same is true with my nanny who's Filipino. A Dominican priest sexually abused her great-grandmother when she was 13, which resulted in pregnancy. To avoid further scandal, the family sent the girl off to a distant cousin until she gave birth to a baby girl! The priest was reassigned to a far-flung parish by the bishop, never to be heard from again since. That baby girl eventually became my nanny's grandmother. Despite that fact, her family remained Catholic. She said always argued that sexual abuse occurs everywhere perpetrated by monsters in positions of authority, not just in the Catholic Church, and she's right. It happens in Jewish yeshivas and synagogues, Buddhist monasteries, Muslim communities, Protestant churches, and other secular institutions, a lot of which are unreported, unfortunately.



That pigeon poop is bad omen at the start of the year! 2023 will be a shitty year for SJ and her cohort.

We can only hope.

 

[On Repeat]

3 Patreon posts in one week… i guess I have received my $7’s worth
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Happy New Year everyone! The party’s still going strong here at the chateau, but I wanted to take a moment to wish you all a wonderful 2023 and to thank you for all of your love and support during 2022. Whilst there’s a lot to tackle at Lalande, starting with the heating system, chapel and grand salon, here’s to facing those challenges with optimism and purpose I still can’t believe that, after more than a decade of cold winters, the new heating installation will start this month, and it’s thanks to all of you who have made it possible
I can’t wait to share all of the upcoming adventures with you, all my love,
Stephanie x

PS I know that I left you on a cliff-hanger in yesterday’s video. You’ll be pleased to hear that Peregrine did let himself out in the night, but only after leaving us a little celebratory pooh on the armchair. I’ve decided to see it as a sign of extraordinary good luck

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Dolly Parton?

 

[Yebo]

I love brooches but I don't wear them. They probably should only be worn on jackets and coats, maybe some sweaters, as they will leave holes in lighter weight woven garments. Many vintage and antique brooches have gnarly pins that are quite crude. Uncle Steve wearing them on button down print shirts is particularly odd. He needs to take a lesson from Coco Chanel, before you leave the house, remove at least one accessory!

Ah but this guy would remove his trouser. A shrinking violet he ain't

 

[suthern_lurker]

I don't think ADHD makes you late, and if you're getting extra done I'd be surprised it's ADHD... I have it and I'll find any excuse under the sun not to get anything done It's a nightmare. I barely function till minutes before a deadline.. I've even tried conning myself and saying it's due the day before, but I know I'm lying so still don't get cracking on it..

My daughter has ADHD- I don’t think I actually have ADD- I think I just procrastinate my way out the door!

 

[TorontoGWM]

I find it hard anymore making it through Bordeau Strife listening to the Mansplainer (let’s start calling him “Dread”) go on and on like his buddy Pill at Chateau Strife - another Mansplainer. Dread is full of . How exactly is the house poor couple paying for this build/reno/restoration/money pit????????

 

[JackSpratt]

This is confusing. Wouldn't the contractor doing the work be responsible for that?

Any artisan who is mad enough to work there should have decinale insurance if they've got any intelligence.

 

[On Repeat]

I was quietly minding my own business and watching a very interesting and informative video about men and women in the Outback of Australia, on a cattle station. And here were these really tough men and also women I tell you, who thought nothing about saddling up at dawn after a quick breakfast and coffee and heading out into the most grueling landscape to round up cattle. Now, I have rounded up cows before when I was in my teens and it isn't as easy as it looks,,, but I digress. I popped up onto tattle and the above pic is what I see.
Australian cowboys and cowgals..... Fanny and Phillipa (for God's sake!)
It's revolting, I think that as punishment when they get busted for their crimes they should both be sent off for 2 years into the outback. Phillipa given a horse and told to get on with it and join the other men, Fanny given a mop and sent in to clean whatever building she's assigned to.
I know what will happen.
Phillipa will break a nail and have a nervous collapse and have to be sent to a sanatorium (do they still have those?) for six months to recover. It will have all been too much for it. After which, having lost it's hair, it will reappear on the station a shadow of it's former self.
Fanny will have become the local bike, meaning all the men would have had a ride and after initially being consumed with jealousy, Phillipa will be given his horse back and sent off to round up a recalcitrant cow which would have trotted off into the scrub having decided that it wasn't in the mood to join the herd. I've tried to herd a single cow before, it is one of the most difficult things to do on earth. After fighting off feral camels Phillipa will arrive back at the station a gibbering wreck.
I think a couple of years in the outback will change these two criminals. Fanny of course will have 'found herself' and start a burlesque house in a small town in the middle of nowhere dancing the dance of the seven veils and servicing the local men. She will be be well loved - wink wink.
Phillipa will of course have found God and will travel through the bush proclaiming Jesus is alive and lecturing on the pleasures of the flesh.
Funny how things turn out, isn't it?

Please, we don't want them!
Let me tell you, neither would get past the extremely long entrance road- the local Roadhouse would have messaged ahead that two crazies are on the way.
And yes Fanny would be the local bike and PhiPhi too- they all like a new conquest!

 

[TorontoGWM]

New thread title???

“The Chatelaine started 2023 with a Crap Unwrapped Vlog. F*ck the beams.”

“Barrel Knits Like Fill-Up Cooks”

“ Barrel, Where’s Nail Polish for Fill-Up?”

“2023 is Already a Sh*t Year at the Shat- oh”

“Shut up, Cameraman”

*F*ck the Beams. Mummsie Needs eyebrows”

but my favourite…

“Mandy & Link are a Class Act Unlike…”

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

Is it cold where you live?

I have inverted ones.

Not really. But I do have an adverse reaction to cold, it makes my skin hurt. Slightest thing and they stand at attention! After too many people staring my chest at work when talking to me I went straight to slightly padded so nothing would show. Then I got used to nothing ever bothering them and when I go without just the texture of a shirt bothers me and them. So I just wear one all the time.

 

[Yebo]

Exactly with the correct decinale insurance.

This is confusing. Wouldn't the contractor doing the work be responsible for that?

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Precisely - splendid idea to instal these (no doubt wildly expensive) bespoke gates and create such an imposing entrance but, in terms of security, a completely pointless gesture (I think there will be a bit of railing to the open side of the pillars). The property has a roadside boundary opposite the church. I forget if there's a low wall as well as a newly-planted hedge. The hedge is going to take a while to establish itself and become closed fence like. I wish them luck when the puppy grows up and there's a bitch in season - dog-proof they are not. (i only occasionally watch the Fleuries but I remember rather enjoying Smug Smarty Pants Philip having to dig out and replant the hedge he'd created along the roadside as the mayor took him/them to task for planting something that was not indigenous/appropriate to the local area. They were more or less told to remove what they'd planted and instructed what to plant instead.)

There seems to be a back drive/secondary access to the property. Perhaps it's shared with what looks like a house to the left sat you turn in.

Monsieur le Comte @Le Comte de Monte Cristo I couldn't agree more about the missing part of the house! It really bugs me! The lack of symmetry makes me feel ridiculously twitchy.

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Doesn’t the little side road lead to the walled garden and dependencies that are no longer part of the property. They did a vlog where they discussed landscaping and the property history and they both seemed aggravated that they didn’t have control of it.

 

[mousepanda8]

Spot on. The problem is that Stephanie Jarvis has only partly admitted to her patrons what's going on and a lot of the structural problems that were discovered during earlier surveys moths ago are not mentioned by her but do in fact bear a huge impact on how they should move forward when they want to eventually restore. There's a distinct order in which those repairs need to be done, or else the lower floors will still be at risk. It is my understanding that this bad news will be told to the patrons gradually, as to not subvert the influx of free cash too much at once. This will however mean an excessive delay before actual work can start. Stephanie Jarvis does not care too much about delays though..

When were these surveys? What other structural disasters are awaiting? How much did this cost?

Any official documents we could ‘leak’ to her fans to help her on the way down?

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Oh, just watch her. She will fuck around (first time without asterisk...) whenever she wants to, headlights or no headlights.


Because in her tiny mind, the pink camera rules.... You are really getting to read her!

She has weaponised that phone.

Haha You can keep your New English I’ll stick with Ye Olde English Thankyou very much.


Could be Colquhoun or Dalziel off the top of my head those two were always mispronounced when I was at school.

No it's neither of those.
But a good guess.

@Gertrude Maud belated congratulations on becoming a VIP. I completely missed it happening. Xx

Thank you Beachgirl.
Easy to miss as it's such a busy time of year.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Yikes! Nuttis face says it all - she disapproved of the body shaming comment and didn’t hide the fact. IJ really does have a unhealthy obsession with excess and over indulging, especially where food and drink is concerned. It seems she gets a kick out of highlighting peoples weaknesses, she must either be incredibly insecure or bursting with self righteousness to the point of loosing all compassion and kindness.
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Unless, of course, the indulger is Busy Izzie, the hog at the grifting trough!

 

[ploppityplop2]

For true, as we say in New Orleans. I’ve long suspected this was because they had to find euphemisms for everything! I mean really, “mendacity” instead of homosexual Mr. Tennessee Williams! Almost as bad as Thomas Hardy’s love of having major plot points occur between chapters simply because he couldn’t bear to write them! That said I do enjoy Thomas Wolfe’s turn of phrase and I’ve admitted here to never having met a run-on sentence I didn’t like.

PolarI -